Sequel: Bedding Severus Snape ›
Status: The End
Detention With Severus Snape
Chapter Twenty Eight - Fresh pair of undies?
* ~ February 2 ~ *
It was marvelous. I went down to the Great Hall early, waiting for Professor Snape to come. Luna accompanied me, carving faces into her pancakes, while Ginny and Colin made encouraging gestures from the Gryffindor table. Finally, when the Great Hall was about halfway full, he came prowling in.
"Sir! Sir!" I approached him and held up my old "Teen Wolf" lunch box, in which was stored a thermos of ice cold milk, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and a large apple. "I packed you a lunch for the day!" I shoved the box into his hands and began chattering away, leaving him no time to speak. "Don't eat too fast, or you'll get a stomach ache, and the milk is very cold, be careful it doesn't hurt your teeth." I reached out and brushed off his robes. "These things are filthy! After you get back from your lessons, I expect you to take a nice long bath, and I'll wash your robes for you and leave out your jammies for beddy-time, alright, shnookums?" His mouth fell open. "Oh, and I almost forgot!" I reached into my bag and pulled out a pair of Spider-man print childrens' briefs, shoving them into his arms. "Here's a fresh change of undies. Remember, you always need clean undies! Oh, look at the time, I've really got to get going. Have a good day at school, sweetie!" With that, I planted a firm kiss on his cheek and ran off. Uproarious laughter followed me. Along with Professor Snape's agitated shouting. And I thought I caught a glimpse of Madam Pomfrey giving him a dirty look.
It was a good thing I had Defense Against the Dark Arts first thing today, because I was able to take refuge in Professor Lupin's classroom. After he was done snogging Draco on the desk, of course. "Hide me!" I dove under the desk, the two lovebirds barely noticing me. I knew Professor Snape had come after me, and when he arrived, I could only thank myself for my amazing match making skills.
"AUGH!" Then the door slammed. I peeked out to make sure that Professor Snape had indeed retreated at the sight of Lupin and Draco in an intimate moment, then crawled out and chose my seat for the day.
"Thanks, that was a close one," I sighed. Apparently, the two of them had finally noticed the world around them, and were straightening themselves out.
"I'm not quite clear on what just happened," Professor Lupin informed me, "but you're welcome... I suppose." However, Draco wasn't so forgiving of my intrusion.
"You ruined our snog!" he whined. "Do you know how much of a turn-off your presence is!"
"I've been told a few things," I replied casually, unpacking my bag. "And since when are you so high and mighty, Mr. Clean?"
"I've always been high and mighty," he sniffed. "I'm a Malfoy."
"Oh, break out the red carpet."
"I don't appreciate your sarcasm." I would have made further derogatory remarks, but Professor Lupin interrupted us by clearing his throat rather loudly.
"If you don't mind my asking," he directed towards me, "why was Severus chasing you?" I rolled my eyes.
"He was just overreacting." He waited for me to spill the details. "I packed him a lunch and gave him a fresh pair of undies. It's not my fault he's so easily embarrassed."
"'Fresh pair of undies?'" Draco quoted. "Merlin, you're such a hag."
"Make that fag hag," I corrected. "And it was Spider-man underwear." I got blank looks on that one. "Spider-man is a superhero. It was little kiddie underwear." They both snorted with inappropriate laughter. Though not as inappropriate as when I laugh during my check-ups at the gynecologist.
...Anyway...
"I should be getting on to work, anyway," Draco sighed. "Toodles." He slapped Professor Lupin on the butt and strolled out.
"...So..." I thought it would be best to make conversation. "...On the desk, eh? Kinky!" Well, I can't keep my mind out of the gutter.
"Yes, I suppose so." Apparently, Professor Lupin is finally getting used to my extremely sexual remarks.
"You know you love it." I actually got a grin out of him! Imagine that. No embarrassment. So, class was alright. The usual. Luckily, Professor Snape was unable to track me down and beat me with the lunch box; that was good. And I also got to tie Colin up and pinch his nipples, which is always an enjoyable pastime. Anyway, there's homework to be done, and I'm not about to let my grades drop.
It was marvelous. I went down to the Great Hall early, waiting for Professor Snape to come. Luna accompanied me, carving faces into her pancakes, while Ginny and Colin made encouraging gestures from the Gryffindor table. Finally, when the Great Hall was about halfway full, he came prowling in.
"Sir! Sir!" I approached him and held up my old "Teen Wolf" lunch box, in which was stored a thermos of ice cold milk, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and a large apple. "I packed you a lunch for the day!" I shoved the box into his hands and began chattering away, leaving him no time to speak. "Don't eat too fast, or you'll get a stomach ache, and the milk is very cold, be careful it doesn't hurt your teeth." I reached out and brushed off his robes. "These things are filthy! After you get back from your lessons, I expect you to take a nice long bath, and I'll wash your robes for you and leave out your jammies for beddy-time, alright, shnookums?" His mouth fell open. "Oh, and I almost forgot!" I reached into my bag and pulled out a pair of Spider-man print childrens' briefs, shoving them into his arms. "Here's a fresh change of undies. Remember, you always need clean undies! Oh, look at the time, I've really got to get going. Have a good day at school, sweetie!" With that, I planted a firm kiss on his cheek and ran off. Uproarious laughter followed me. Along with Professor Snape's agitated shouting. And I thought I caught a glimpse of Madam Pomfrey giving him a dirty look.
It was a good thing I had Defense Against the Dark Arts first thing today, because I was able to take refuge in Professor Lupin's classroom. After he was done snogging Draco on the desk, of course. "Hide me!" I dove under the desk, the two lovebirds barely noticing me. I knew Professor Snape had come after me, and when he arrived, I could only thank myself for my amazing match making skills.
"AUGH!" Then the door slammed. I peeked out to make sure that Professor Snape had indeed retreated at the sight of Lupin and Draco in an intimate moment, then crawled out and chose my seat for the day.
"Thanks, that was a close one," I sighed. Apparently, the two of them had finally noticed the world around them, and were straightening themselves out.
"I'm not quite clear on what just happened," Professor Lupin informed me, "but you're welcome... I suppose." However, Draco wasn't so forgiving of my intrusion.
"You ruined our snog!" he whined. "Do you know how much of a turn-off your presence is!"
"I've been told a few things," I replied casually, unpacking my bag. "And since when are you so high and mighty, Mr. Clean?"
"I've always been high and mighty," he sniffed. "I'm a Malfoy."
"Oh, break out the red carpet."
"I don't appreciate your sarcasm." I would have made further derogatory remarks, but Professor Lupin interrupted us by clearing his throat rather loudly.
"If you don't mind my asking," he directed towards me, "why was Severus chasing you?" I rolled my eyes.
"He was just overreacting." He waited for me to spill the details. "I packed him a lunch and gave him a fresh pair of undies. It's not my fault he's so easily embarrassed."
"'Fresh pair of undies?'" Draco quoted. "Merlin, you're such a hag."
"Make that fag hag," I corrected. "And it was Spider-man underwear." I got blank looks on that one. "Spider-man is a superhero. It was little kiddie underwear." They both snorted with inappropriate laughter. Though not as inappropriate as when I laugh during my check-ups at the gynecologist.
...Anyway...
"I should be getting on to work, anyway," Draco sighed. "Toodles." He slapped Professor Lupin on the butt and strolled out.
"...So..." I thought it would be best to make conversation. "...On the desk, eh? Kinky!" Well, I can't keep my mind out of the gutter.
"Yes, I suppose so." Apparently, Professor Lupin is finally getting used to my extremely sexual remarks.
"You know you love it." I actually got a grin out of him! Imagine that. No embarrassment. So, class was alright. The usual. Luckily, Professor Snape was unable to track me down and beat me with the lunch box; that was good. And I also got to tie Colin up and pinch his nipples, which is always an enjoyable pastime. Anyway, there's homework to be done, and I'm not about to let my grades drop.