Detention With Severus Snape

September 5
Potions class came all too soon for me. Of course, I was anxious to see my favourite teacher; however, my nerves about the first task were getting to me. What would Professor Snape do, after I smelled his hair? Would he take points from Ravenclaw? Would he give me detention? Would he throttle me? I was to find out soon enough.
I was the first into the classroom, as usual. Not even Luna had accompanied me, because although she was unfazed by almost anything, she disliked Snape as much as any student. I walked into the room quietly and discreetly, with my head down, as was my custom, and took a seat in the very back of the room. I tried to stay unnoticed in all of my classes, and it usually worked. In this class, Snape didn't really want to notice anyone, so he was quite willing to ignore me. As I did every potions class for every year of my education, I watched the professor carefully as I unpacked, trying not to seem too obvious. He was sitting at his desk, his quill scratching away at a piece of parchment, and he didn't even look up at me. I could see an inkwell filled with red ink at his side, and he stopped for a moment to hastily dip his quill into it. Hey, he had a new quill; raven's feather, it looked like. It was about time he replaced that beat up old eagle's feather he'd been using. But, I digress.
It wasn't long before more students started to filter in, and Luna joined me at my table in the back. I was spending my time trying to think up some good phrases to write in my next love letter, while Luna had her nose buried in The Quibbler again. The N.E.W.T. potions class with the Hufflepuffs was a fairly competent class, since Ravenclaws are intelligent (sometimes) and Hufflepuffs are hard working (for the most part.) However, Professor Snape always seemed to find a reason to berate us, and he wasn't about to let up at this point.
When the bell rang, he stood up and began pacing back and forth in front of the board, surveying us as if he had never seen anything quite so disgusting. He began his annual beginning speech, talking about how the N.E.W.T.s were quickly approaching and he expected us all to pass with blah, blah, blah... After a while I just stopped listening and concentrated on the sound of his voice... It was so deep, quiet, and silky... And the way he moved was so graceful and elegant... In my opinion, Severus Snape is the epitome of sex. Anyone who thinks otherwise is a blind, deaf cretin. Alright, so everybody in the school, including my friends, thinks otherwise, but... They all have bad taste.
With a wave of his wand, Professor Snape put the instructions for the potion we were to brew on the board, and everyone began. I worked quietly and diligently with Luna, not drawing any attention to myself, as always. We had been working for about half an hour and our potion was the appropriate shade of maroon when she gently nudged me, to signal that it was time. I hesitated, using the excuse of smelling the potion, which was fine, then slowly raised my hand. It took a few minutes for him to notice me, and when he did he paused for a moment before addressing me. "Yes, what is it, Miss... Miss..." His eyes flitted to the list of students on his desk. "Miss Page?"
"Professor," I said, a lot more quietly than I meant to, "I think there's something wrong with our potion, but I'm not quite sure what. Could you take a look at it, please? It really would help a lot." He begrudgingly got to his feet and walked to our table at the back of the class, leaning over the cauldron.
"I see nothing... wrong... with this potion," he growled, obviously irritated at that fact. "Five points from Ravenclaw for wasting my time."
"Please, Professor, could you just take a closer look?" He glared at me and I gave him my best I'm-afraid-of-you-but-I-still-need-your-help look. He just needed to lean a little lower and I could complete my task. "Please?"
"If you'll leave me be..." he grumbled, leaning lower over the cauldron and narrowing his eyes. I saw my chance and immediately took it. I lunged forward, nearly burying my nose in his hair, and took a loud, long whiff. I mean, I inhaled it like I was a crackwhore and he was Snow White. Afterwards, I sighed and feigned a shudder, as if I'd just partaken in a forbidden pleasure (which I think I had) and leaned back in my seat, acting as if nothing had happened. There was momentary silence in the classroom as the rest of the students stared, then began to snigger quietly. Meanwhile, Professor Snape was frozen over the cauldron, and I noticed that he was gripping the table so tightly that his hand was shaking. Very slowly, he rose and straightened himself, still grasping the desk. "Silence," he snapped. That was all it took to shut up the entire class. Then, he turned to me, looking as if he would like nothing more than to slit my throat. "Miss Page, what did you just do to me?" He voice was low and dangerous, barely above a whisper, and I knew that it meant he was absolutely enraged.
"Nothing, sir," I answered, unable to hide the slight waver in my voice. It wasn't from fear though; I was trying with all my might to suppress the laughter that was bubbling up inside of me. He sneered, swooping down on me like a bat.
"Insolent girl," he hissed. "I know you're lying to me." I remained silent. "Well? Speak! Tell me what you just did." I cleared my throat, shifting uncomfortable under his smouldering gaze... He's just so delicious when he's angry.
"Well..." I tried to think up an excuse, but then decided to say something much more hilarious. "I'm sorry, Professor- you just smell so good." The room erupted in laughter, but one sharp glance from Professor Snape caused the noise to cease.
"If that is the case, Miss Page," he muttered disdainfully, "then I daresay you can smell me all you like in detention tomorrow night at eight." Then, he straightened up and pointed his wand to my cauldron. "Evanesco." The contents immediately disappeared, leaving the cauldron spotless. "You'll get a zero for the day, and I expect to receive three feet on why it is inappropriate to smell a teacher by the next class. Is that understood?"
"Of course, Professor." When he turned to go, I made a loud sniffing noise, and the class again began to laugh.
"Silence! I will not tolerate another sound from this class! Now, get back to work, all of you!" He sat down behind his desk, yanked his quill from the inkwell, and began scratching away at the parchments. "Bloody hell..." I heard him mutter faintly, shaking the quill in an exaggerated motion before slamming it down on his desk. He was obviously in a foul mood, but who could blame him? I mean, it was plain to see the man did not get smelled by his students on a daily basis, nor laughed at by them.
For the rest of the class everyone else worked quietly, not daring to make a single sound aside from the bubbling of their potions and the chopping of their ingredients. Meanwhile, Luna leaned back and continued with her reading, while I just sat back and immersed myself in thought. I was wondering what the next task I was given would be, and again thinking about what I could possibly put into the next love letter, and when to send it. I looked up at Professor Snape, who was currently telling a Hufflepuff boy how incompetent he was, and took a nice long look at that delicious ass of his. God, that man has glorious buttocks.
Class ended all too soon, and Luna and I headed up to the Great Hall for lunch, where we informed Ginny and Colin of the events that occurred in potions. Needless to say, it took them a while to calm down enough to talk. I also noticed that we weren't the only ones relaying the tale; I was sure that by the end of the day the entire school would know that I smelled Professor Snape's hair. "We'll have to give you a task for the detention," Colin said thoughtfully, rubbing his chin. I wondered vaguely if he would ever grow any facial hair.
"Yes, but we can think of that tomorrow," Ginny said, waving her hand dismissively. "In the meantime... Let's hear that story again."