Detention With Severus Snape

* ~ March 29 ~ *

Dad replied to my letter. And basically suggested that he would never discuss the matter with me, ever by making it clear that he had received my letter, while at the same time conveniently omitting anything I'd mentioned or asked. That left two sources: Professor Snape and Professor Lupin. Naturally, I asked the most reliable source: Snape.

I hadn't gotten any tasks (since I'm still angry at Colin and on thin ice with Snape) so... I had to find Professor Snape in his office after classes. How fortunate for me that he was in an extremely sour mood. "Professor Snape, I need to talk to you."

"Leave this office now, or I will report you to the Headmaster." Bluff. I entered the room and closed the door a bit more loudly than necessary. It was time to assert myself.

"I'm not leaving this fucking office." Perhaps the language was a bit strong.

"What did you just say to me?" he asked in his quietly menacing voice, slamming his quill down on his desk.

"I have some questions I need answered. So you'll answer them."

"...Or?"

"Or it's time to become a vegetarian." I crossed my arms, glaring.

"I don't believe you," he finally answered.

"Oh? Would you like to raise the stakes to vegan?" He returned my glare. There was a long, tense silence. Finally, he spoke.

"...If I tell you everything you want to know about your father, you have to leave me alone for good." It was time to haggle.

"A week."

"Six months."

"A week and a half."

"Three months."

"A week and three quarters."

"Two months."

"Two weeks."

"Six weeks."

"Three weeks."

"Five weeks."

"A month, and no longer!" He glared at me.

"Fine," he sighed, shaking my hand. "A month." Damn, I drive a hard bargain.

"Tell me about the drugs."

"Oh, no." He leaned forward and put his head in his hands.

"I want to know. You shook on it!"

"You should be asking your father."

"He won't answer my questions." Professor Snape ran his finger over his lips, staring at his desk, then let out a long sigh.

"Alright. Fine. It was... Well, we had... A business. Er... More like a monopoly, really."

"Drug lords?"

"You might say that."

"Why did you do it with Dad? Whose idea was it?" He looked as if he was in pain.

"We were friends. He convinced me to help him with... A project. Painkillers for Lupin. Eventually... There was more demand. So we supplied."

"And you didn't get caught?"

"No. People knew... They just... Didn't do anything about it. We stopped after I left school, anyway." He looked very uncomfortable with the subject.

"Why didn't anyone do anything?" I asked. I had a feeling that there was a little something more to it.

"People... They were afraid of him."

"You mean... My dad?" He nodded. "Why?"

"I shouldn't tell you. I've said enough already."

"Tell me, or the deal's off."

"...Well... Nathanyel is a complicated person. People didn't much like him, they teased him, tormented him... Sometimes people ended up transferring out."

"Oh?"

"In a coffin."

"I... I... What!"

"You asked!" he replied angrily. "You wanted to know! You just needed to stick your nose in!"

"But- but why?"

"They were all accidents! And don't ask me how." I stared at him. "I don't know what happened. He was only thirteen, anyway. He said he blacked out, and when he woke up... Well, I'm sure you can guess."

"...So. My father was a drug dealer and a murderer." I was starting to develop a tick. "Anything else to add to the list?"

"Embezzler, con-man, thief. The usual." There was definitely a tick in my cheek. "He's made himself into a very rich man."

"What, by stealing?"

"Basically. He's a real Renaissance man, you see. He embezzles from the Ministry of Magic, dabbles in investments, and is a very large fan of fine print. He doesn't want publicity, so rather than keeping all his money in one large account, he has many smaller joint-accounts. Of course, he makes a much larger profit than the other account-holder. There must be hundreds of Gringotts vaults with his name on them. And of course, there's his inheritance that he was never supposed to get. All he had to do was pull the right strings, find the right loopholes, and all that's left is to get you married off and the money's all his." He looked as if he was enjoying telling me all this. "I suppose that's why he's so supportive of your so-called 'love life.'"

"This is beyond comprehension."

"I know. Crazy, isn't it?" He grinned rather unpleasantly.

"...You're mocking me."

"Indeed I am."

"I JUST FOUND OUT THAT MY FATHER HAS NO CONSCIENCE AND YOU'RE MOCKING ME!"

"That seems about right." He was enjoying it! He was actually enjoying it!

"Alright," I answered through clenched teeth. "Then answer this. What does my father love more: his 'work,' or his family?" I thought that should ruin his mood. I know my dad's a family man, above all else. There's no way I'm wrong about that.

"Hmph. Fine. He loves you more than anything, all that other sentimental crap, alright?" He seemed rather sour about that. Sadist. "Get out of my sight."

"You know, you've been crueler than usual, lately. What's your problem?"

"I have no problem! Get out!"

"I just wanted to know! You have some serious intimacy issues, you know that? You need a psychologist! Either that, or to get laid."

"We have a deal! Now, go!" So, I went. Hmph. Fine. He can go... Fuck a donkey, for all I care. And so can my dad. He's worse than... Than... Lucius Malfoy!

...Alright, not that bad. Still, though... Why is everyone being so... So stupid? I'm so traumatized, now. And I feel like such an idiot. I should have seen all of this coming. I'll just have to... Nap on it. Naps solve everything. Naps and comfort food and sensitive gay guys who give good advice. But naps are always first.