Detention With Severus Snape

* ~ April 27 ~ *

Well, there are one or two things to report. Most of them occurred in the last few days. First off, Ginny's birthday was a couple of days ago, so that was fun. I had gotten her the boots she wanted (which were pretty damn cheap, otherwise I wouldn't have bothered) and all was well. We had cake, we had fun, we stuck our fingers up our butts. Now I just have to worry about Luna's birthday, since my mother's isn't until September, Uncle Kristo's isn't until late July, and Dad's is in a little less than a month, but I'm still angry at him so I might not get him anything at all. I know too many people.

Then, Professor Snape and I had another close encounter the other day. I saw him taking a walk on the grounds, so I decided to join him. I wouldn't bother him, I'd just walk along near him. After a few minutes of this, he turned around and glared at me, but said nothing. After a few more minutes, he decided to speak up. "I thought we had an agreement."

"I'm not bothering you," I argued. "You're not the only person around here who takes walks."

"Go walk somewhere else," he grumbled.

"Oh, honestly. Is this your land? Are you a vassal or a lord? Is this your castle? No. Why don't you walk somewhere else?"

"Fine." So, he went to walk somewhere else. Wow. I didn't think he'd actually give in and leave. Oh well. It's nothing big, but I think it means that Professor Snape is slowly losing the strength to resist me. Then there's my other thing to report.

It was last night, when I was planning on having a little study pow- wow with Professor Lupin, since the N.E.W.T.s are drawing oh-so-near. I knocked on the door to his office, but there was no answer. I tried a few more times, only to again be greeted by silence. So, concerned as I was, I opened the door, surprised to find it unlocked, and puzzled to find the office empty. So, since I'd long since memorized the location of his private quarters, I hurried off to check on him like the concerned citizen I was.

Rather timidly, for me at least, I knocked on Professor Lupin's door. "Come in!" came the muffled reply. So, I entered. Professor Lupin was sitting at the little round table in the kitchenette and staring morosely at a cup of tea. He looked very tired.

"Hey, Professor." He offered me a half-hearted smile.

"Hello, Nadia. Oh, my. I'm sorry I wasn't at my office." I approached slowly, so as not to seem rude.

"That's alright. Is there something wrong?"

"Nothing." I'm sure I looked very skeptical. "Draco left me, is all."

"Why?" I blurted out. Dammit, that was insensitive.

"Found someone else, so... That's it." He sipped his tea.

"Well... I mean... It was just physical. He didn't have to leave."

"I asked him to." He sipped his tea again.

"Why?"

"It was... More the person he was seeing, really... Someone I used to..." He trailed off, shaking his head. "I shouldn't be talking to you about this. I apologize."

"It's not necessary, really," I tried to assure him. With a sigh, he stood up and smoothed out some of the wrinkles in his robes.

"Would you like some tea?" He just looked so... So lonely.

"Oh, Professor." So I hugged him.

"Nadia... I need you to make love to me." I made that line up, actually. Sorry for that. He really said, "I hate to be such a bother." This is a man with serious self-esteem issues, mon capitaine.

"You're not a bother, Professor. I think you're a lovely friend."

"You would."

"Hey, I've got an idea." He looked apprehensive. "Let's turn on the wireless and empty out the ice box."

"You don't have to try and cheer me up, really."

"Would you rather sit here and ferment all by yourself?"

"Not particularly."

"Then let's break out the good silverware and eat things straight from the carton."

"Are you sure? I have serving dishes-"

"I won't take no for an answer!"

"If you insist." So, I put on the wireless station with the most volatile music I could find, helped Professor Lupin gather supplies, and sat him down on the sofa for an old fashioned pity-fest. Within an hour and a half, we'd managed to go through a gallon of ice cream, an entire chocolate cake, and five failed relationships. I'd really had no idea that Professor Lupin could eat like that (or that he'd dated Percy Weasley, for that matter) but he seemed to feel a bit better. "I'm so bloated." See?

"Well, I was bloated in the first place, so I'm used to it. You know, that time of the month."

"Hm, yes."

"And for some reason, I always seem to get hornier than usual around that time."

"Me too." Awkward silence. And then I laughed at him. You know, I'd heard comparisons of lycanthropy to menstruation, but never from an actual werewolf. "It is rather absurd, isn't it?"

"I've heard worse," I replied, once I'd calmed down. "Oi, I'm starting to feel sick."

"I have a potion."

"No thanks. I shouldn't put anything else in my body, anyway." I paused a moment. "Except maybe a prick."

"I saw that coming."

"I know. I'm getting too predictable." Short silence. "Let's do makeovers."

"Not a chance."

"I like it when we bond like this. It makes me feel special on the inside parts."

"Yes." Pensive silence. I hate all those quiet periods. "I should tell you something."

"It's alright, I already know you're a dirty pervert."

"Ah. There you are, then." I could tell there was something else. But, as usual, Professor Snape had to come and ruin everything.

"Lupin! Open the damn door!" Grrrr, shit! I wanted some gossip material!

"One moment." Professor Lupin let out a long sigh as he shuffled over to the door and opened it. I took the opportunity to take complete control of the sofa. Besides, I needed to lay down, anyway.

"I've brought the Wolfsbane," I heard Professor Snape grumble. "And- and whose boots are those on your armrest?" I could hear him approaching, and soon Professor Snape was standing over me, obstructing my view of the ceiling. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"You ruined everything," I informed him. "Professor Lupin was about to confess his undying love for me and convert to the righteous path of heterosexuality." He snorted.

"Of course he was."

"Hey, it could happen."

"Oh, Severus," Professor Lupin suddenly exclaimed. "Any word?"

"Not a syllable," he grumbled. "He's too busy sulking, the big baby."

"Oh." All eyes were on me, now.

"What?" And then I realized... "Oh. You're talking about Dad."

"You really should forgive him," Professor Lupin encouraged.

"I don't see why."

"Really," Professor Snape grumbled. "He was born for deceit, anyway. He's a Slytherin, remember?"

"And a Gemini," Professor Lupin added thoughtfully.

"You actually believe in that utter crap?" Snape groused as Lupin downed the Wolfsbane.

"Well, it's interesting. With muggles, it varies a lot, but wizards usually have traits that match their signs." He stared into the empty goblet, a slight grimace still on his face. "Draco's a Gemini, too." Snape snorted.

"What a bunch of horse shit."

"What are some of the Gemini traits?" I asked, out of curiosity.

"Er..." Professor Lupin seemed to be searching for the right answer. "Well, let's see... Fickle, playful-"

"Shameless and relentless flirting," Professor Snape added as he left, slamming the door.

"Ignore him."

"I usually do," I replied listlessly.

"You really should forgive Nathanyel. Most times, he means well."

"I'll think about it." I didn't mean it, though. "Hey, let's have a slumber party!"

"I had a feeling it would come to this."

"Is that a yes?"

"I'm afraid not." He smiled at me as he sank into an armchair. "You don't want to spend the whole night with an old bore like me, anyway."

"Alright, suit yourself. Just don't finish off all that tea by yourself, you'll get sick." He laughed a bit.

"Of course. I'll keep that in mind." And so I find myself in bed.