Detention With Severus Snape

September 6
Task three: compliment him. Allow me to relay the tale. Luna, Ginny, Colin and I were sitting beneath a large tree by the lake, working on some homework while they were trying to think up a task for me to do at detention. They were having a hard time of it, though. "It should be discreet," Luna muttered as she read The Quibbler while holding it upside down.
"I agree," Ginny said. "But what?"
"I'm totally blank," Colin replied. "Touch his ass?" We all rolled out eyes.
"Well, you could-"
"Shh!" Colin interrupted, motioning to somewhere towards the castle. His little brother, Denis, was walking towards us. We all pretended to be absorbed in homework (mine being an essay on why it's inappropriate to smell a teacher) as Denis approached.
"Hey guys!" he chirped. "What're you all up to?" He looked between us curiously, as if sensing that we were hiding something from him.
"It's nothing," Colin replied, exasperated. "Just go away." Denis looked hurt by this.
"I only wanted some company."
"So find some your own age!" Colin growled.
"Hold on," I said. "Denis... How would you subtly gain the attentions of someone you desire?" Denis bit his lip, thinking for a moment.
"I'd complement her, I suppose. That always works."
"Thanks," I replied. "Go up to the boys' bathroom on the fourth floor, enter the third stall down from the door, tap the cracked brick above the toilet, and say, 'Scarlet harlot.' That should keep you busy for a while." Denis smiled widely and ran off to retrieve his prize. Colin sighed, shaking his head as he began to fiddle with his camera.
"You know," Ginny said thoughtfully, "I think Denis had the right idea. As a matter of fact... It's perfect! You can compliment Snape. He loves having people shove their heads up his ass." Ginny looked to Luna and Colin for approval. Luna nodded from behind her magazine, while Colin gave a thumbs up.
"Alright," I agreed. "So what do I say, he has a nice ass?"
"No, of course not!" Ginny exclaimed. "Something like... I dunno..." She put on a pouty face and started speaking in a mock-seductive voice. "I've always admired you, Professor."
"I'm sure you have a gigantic penis," I added.
"That's disgusting," Colin muttered, wrinkling his nose as he continued working on his camera.
"What are you doing with that thing, anyway?" He snapped the back shut and grinned at me.
"Changing the film." Then he swung the camera up and took a picture of me. I hate it when people take pictures of me, and he knows that. So... I tackled him.
"Hand it over!" Our wrestling match was soon broken up, though, by Ginny and Luna.
"It's just a picture," Ginny reasoned.
"Yeah, yeah..."
So, at eight I found myself in the dungeons, knocking on the door to the potions classroom. "Enter!" came the agitated response. I carefully opened the door and walked into the room, wondering what I would have to do for my detention. Professor Snape sat at his desk, as usual, grading papers. I approached him, and only when I cleared my throat did he set his quill down and stand up, addressing me. "You will clean out every single cauldron in this room- without the use of magic. Rest assured, Miss Page, I will be watching. By the time you are done, I want to see my reflection in them."
"Yes sir," I answered.
"Do you have any questions?"
"Just one, sir. How is it that you get your robes so crisp and fresh?" He glared at me scathingly before taking five points from Ravenclaw and shooing me off to do my work.
"And don't disturb me!" he added, sitting back down at his desk. Sighing heavily, I started cleaning cauldrons, which was a lot more difficult than it sounded. Much of the gunk stuck in them was difficult to remove, and it clung to my skin if I touched it. After about an hour, he walked over to check my work. He peered in at the cauldron I had just finished off, scowling. "You missed a spot." He seemed to be enjoying this.
"I'm sorry, Professor," I replied. "I was distracted by your beautiful eyes." Did I just say that? But, damn, those eyes are gorgeous.
"Ten points from Ravenclaw," he growled. "And do try to work on your sarcasm."
"I wasn't being sarcastic, sir," I replied, trying to sound breathless and instead sounding mentally impaired. He sneered at me, deducted more points, then made his way back to his desk. Ooh, what a nice bum. I went back to scrubbing cauldrons, making sure that they were absolutely perfect (when I do something, I do it right) and casting random glances at Professor Snape, leaning over a stack of parchments. However, about an hour into the detention, he started to notice the attention I was giving him.
"Miss Page!" he snapped, suddenly looking up to meet my gaze. I suppressed a gulp.
"Yes, Professor Snape?"
"Kindly stop staring at me!" He sneered, looking rather dangerous.
"I'm sorry, Professor," I replied, thinking that this would be the perfect opportunity for another complement, "but I was drawn to the enigmatic aura that seems to surround your lean and attractive body." Perhaps that was a bit too... descriptive.
"Ten points from Ravenclaw!" he snarled. "Get back to work!" So, I did. And after another hour of constant scrubbing, I finished cleaning every single cauldron. Each and every one was absolutely spotless, practically sparkling. Professor Snape, however, didn't seem to appreciate my hard work. "Alright, go on, out of my sight," he grumbled, after inspecting the cauldrons and begrudgingly admitting that I'd done well enough to warrant my release.
"Thank you, Professor," I replied in as happy a tone as I could manage. "Have a good night." Then I left, with him glaring at me.
When I got back to my dormitory, everyone else was asleep, even Luna. So, sighing, I quickly threw on my pyjamas and jumped onto my bed. Ah, sleep, sleep, sleep. Sleep is so very, very nice. Especially when you dream of a naked Professor Snape...