Detention With Severus Snape

* ~ September 15 ~ *

Well, slow going on the SSS front... No one's thought of another suitable task (which I am secretly thankful for) and potions class was a bore. We brewed a form of transfiguration potion and I handed my anti- smelling essay in without incident ("accidentally" slipping in a few sentences that vaguely suggested that Professor Snape is sexy.) Plus, my prefect duties have been keeping me busy... Thank God it isn't one of those damn snots I room with, though. And at least I have Ginny to count on; she's Head Girl this year.

However, all was not lost; there was a new challenge on the bulletin board in the common room today, so that made me happy. Allow me to explain: the Ravenclaws, long ago (probably not that long) found that they needed some extracurricular activity to keep them regular... Something stimulating. No, not sex. So, a secret society of writers was formed; writers who write under assumed names. Fairly frequently, there is a writing challenge posted on the bulletin board, though writers are not restricted to such challenges. The members are also not restricted to Ravenclaw house. See how generous we are? Anyway, I'm a member, and I'm proud to say that my writing has become fairly popular... It's mostly romance... Between two males... Teehee. I first became a popular writer when I started to write a series of stories about Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy... As a couple. Heh. This new challenge was simply, "a good use for the Whomping Willow." Hmm. Difficult, yes, but manageable. So, anyway, on to present events.

Yesterday, I received a letter from my father. Let us take a moment to consider my father. Messy, sandy hair, hazel eyes with a manic glint, and a perpetual gigantic grin. Alright, not perpetual, but definitely gigantic. His chief interests are origami and birds... Especially fwoopers. As a matter of fact, he has a yellow pet fwooper named Sweetheart. And he's... Well, he's a nutter. That's what everyone calls him... Nutty Nathanyel Page. Nat the Nutter. Tano the Twit. That barmy git who got me splinched... There's a whole range of names. He works at the Ministry of Magic as an unspeakable. I think even if he did say anything about his job, Mum and I wouldn't believe him. I suppose that's part of why they wanted him for that post.

Anyway, he sent me a letter. The significance of this is that there's something off about it... He's never written a letter quite like it before. I think what makes me the most suspicious is this excerpt: "Miriam-" that's my mother- "won't let me out of the house. I asked Arthur if he could call in a favor from his friend working in the floo network, so now I can sneak out through the fireplace every morning. Or apparate. But, you know how these things go- what with my apparating license being revoked and all. I insist and insist that I'm perfectly fine, but your mother just says that if I were normal, I'd get a real job. Not to undermine her or anything, but it's rather difficult to live with a raging harpy. Well, I hear her coming in now, so I'll have to cut this short. Have a good time at school- and try to keep out of trouble, eh?"

Wow, something tells me that there might be trouble at home. Oh, well. My parents always have little squabbles like that and I'm sure they'll work it out in due time. I'm sort of wondering what's going on, though. Hmm... Something to mull over.

In the meantime, I can try to avoid the next task of the SSS. Luna's been looking particularly distant the past couple of days, and I think she might be getting an idea. Speaking of tasks, I've got writers' block with the second love letter. I should ask Luna and Ginny to give me some help with it. Or maybe Dad. Haha, just kidding. I could draw inspiration from 80s monster ballads. Better than asking my father, at least... Imagine what he'd say if he knew about this! Probably something like, "Oh, really? Well, that's great, then! All you need to do is serenade him with the haunting song of the fwooper..." Or something like that.

Maybe I could write to my uncle (mother's side) for advice. Uncle Kristo, what with being a lecherous, alcoholic, bee-keeping priest, would know just what to put into a love letter. On second thought, a lot of it would probably be far too dirty to keep in the letter. I'd probably end up omitting everything except for "you" and "the." He sets such a good example, especially as my godfather. Can you sense my sarcasm? Anyway... So, Luna and Ginny then. I'll ask them at lunch today.