The Road Trip

“YOU GOT ME LIKE OH MY GOSH, I’M SOO IN LOVE, FOUND YOU FINALLY, YOU MAKE ME WANNA SAY OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH , OH ,OH, OH. OH MY GOSH…” Levi and I both sang at the top of our lungs in the car. We were jamming out with the windows down, driving on a country road in Georgia (yes, we did finally make it out of South Carolina after 3 more ‘potty’ breaks… sadly none of them were as eventful as the first).

“Only a few more hours to go, Kit- Kat!” I exclaimed happily over the music.

“Yes indeed-y, Twix! Florida palm trees here we come!” Lev replied, equally as excited. La la la la la la la la, rainbows and ponies, happiness and Coca-Cola!I thought randomly, yet ecstatic all the same. This was the first time in a LONG time I had ever been truly relaxed and stress-free. We should definitely do this more often…

BAM!

Uhh… that didn’t sound good…I thought after we heard that loud noise and felt the car hop in the air and come back down again.

“MY BAAAAABBBBYYYYY!!!!” I yelled, leaping from the car to see what caused my car any sort of harm. And there it was. Riiiiight there. Multiple scratches on the right side of the bumper and a flat tire (rear right one). What on earth could have done that…We are in the middle of nowhere on a country road, what in the world is going to cause a flat tire? I was then incredibly angry at whatever it was, even if it was an inanimate object that caused my car any pain. I decided to backtrack and see if anything was on the road that I could get out my anger on. Off I went in search, with Levi following a ways behind me so that I wouldn’t let off any steam on her, but also making sure to keep an eye on me.

“Eureka!” I said, finding what caused the flat tire and scratches.

“Poor wittle thing… it didn’t stand a chance against your Expedition. Didn’t your momma ever teach you to look before crossing the street?” Levi asked, talking to the now dead porcupine. I have to admit I felt a little bad for it. Especially since it wasn’t an inanimate object… if that makes any sense. Levi was starting to tear up a little at the sight of the porcupine and was starting to demand we make a grave for it.

“Really, Lev? I mean, I feel bad for the porcupine and all, but are you going to be the one to carry it? How many germs and fleas do you think are on that thing? ----“ I was going to continue, but then Levi gave me her cute, big baby penguin eyes and puppy pout, which wasn’t fair since she KNEW that I couldn’t say no to that. Even when we were kids it worked, and every time she used that face, it always made me wonder how she did that. I had spent many-a-hours in front of the mirror working towards it, and I have only been able to make an amateur-ish puppy pout. The penguin eyes have been far out of reach. Anyways, that’s why we then, instead of replacing the flat tire, got a little shovel out of the back of my SUV (yeah, it’s another thing not to ask about… like the Sharpie incident… SENTIMENTAL!! Plus the Expedition is extremely roomy and has a LOT of trunk space, so it’s not like my shovel is taking away from anything.) and went hiking into the forest to find the supposedly ‘perfect’ spot for little Edgar (I know what your thinking, a porcupine named Edgar? I’m on the same page as you guys, I have NO IDEA where she comes up with this stuff!!)

“AH HA! This is it! This is the perfect spot for our depressing wittle Edgar to rest.” My crazy, yet sweet friend said once we reached this quiet little spot surrounded by some wild onions and strawberries.

“Oh yes! I can definitely see it Levi! You’re a porcupine grave locating genius!” I told her with a hint of sarcasm… okay maybe a little more than a hint, but Levi doesn’t realize that.

“I KNOW RIGHT! Do you think I could make a career out of it? I mean not just for porcupines, but for all types of animals, whichever one that person wanted to have buried. It could actually bring in a lot of business…” She kept babbling on and on and ON about. Just interrupt her nicely and remind her about Edgar and the task on hand.I thought calmly, which is difficult when there’s incessant chattering going on in the background.

“Yeah, totally, great idea. Now how about we focus on digging this grave for the dear Edgar okay?” I said nicely and a little bit forced. I then picked up the shovel and proceeded to dig the hole in the ground.

}..{

“We are gathered here today, to give our final good-byes, blessings, and apologies to Edgar the porcupine. Unfortunately all life must come to an end, it is unavoidable. It is sad the way this life was ended. On the side of a country road, unsuspecting, just leisurely crossing the street, when BAM! His life was swiped just like that, by a sleek black Expedition. He will be missed, remembered, and celebrated. May he be in a better place now.” Levi finished her speech solemnly. Wow… she must have really felt bad for the little porcupine that she just ‘met’ 2 hours ago. Well, she is easily attached.

“Yes, I think we all hope that.” I told her as she placed Edgar into the hole, I mean grave.

We then covered up the hole, placed a few leaves over it, and turned to walk away after whispering good-bye. We walked back in silence. For her it was probably respectful silence, but, for me, I was just trying to figure out why we had just spent 2 HOURS burying a porcupine, when we could have been on the road. We haven’t even REPLACED the tire yet! My poor car!!! I thought remembering the damage caused to it and the neglect it has received. I then started jogging towards the car instead, deciding it was best to be there quicker, so that we can get on the road before dark. 6:00 now… Come on legs faster! You got this they didn’t name you best all around player of the year, 2 years in a row for having slow feet.

Finally, we got back to the car with about 30 minutes until dark. So after I got the spare tire, jack, and ratchet, Levi helped me get all the nuts and bolts out, replace the tire, and stick them back in. This allowed us to be back on the road in no time.

“ON THE ROAD AGAIN!” Levi and I sang out together.

“JINX!”

“DOUBLE JINX!”

“TRIPLE JINX!”

“KNOCK ON WOOD!”

“KNOCK ON A TREE!”

“KNOCK ON A BOOK!”

“YOU OWE ME A COKE!”

“YOU OWE ME 3 COKES!”

“YOU OWE ME A PIGGYBACK RIDE!”

“YOUR MOTHER!”

“YOUR FATHER!”

“YOUR GRANDMA!”

“YOUR PASTE-EATING COUSIN!”

“YOUR FACE!”

“…TRUCE!” We both yelled, finally, panting heavily. Yes, we do know that that’s probably not the way everyone else does it, but we thought that the normal way could use a little zap, so we added all those things. There’s even more to it, but after going through all of them in previous jinx sessions, we came up with the ‘TRUCE’ part in case we both wanted to break it off sooner. (I know we’re weird, but so far everyone’s loved us so it’s also not a problem…yet) Once we had regained a calmer breathing pattern, we just cranked up the radio and jammed out for the next hour while driving to our hotel in Savannah, GA.

}..{

We checked in to the Holiday Inn at 9:30 and were pooped, but somehow manage to pull all of our luggage up to our squeedle-icious (our word that we made up in 5th grade. It means even better than awesome, told ya we were weird) business class room. Also, we mustered up enough energy to change into pjs, me into blue guy boxers and a light blue penguin shirt, and Levi into some ducky pajama bottoms and a yellow t-shirt. Then, we jumped into our beds.

“Man, I am tiiiiired.” Levi said.

At the same time I said, “I’m bushed.”

“SLEEPY TIME!!!” We both whispered loudly. First day of the road trip down, plenty more to go… and with that, I dreamt.