Shattered and Torn

My feet ground against the tarmac now as I ran, ran away from him, ran away from all the
lies he had told. I was hyperventilating, I felt faint and sick, my lungs were on fire but I kept
going. Tears welled up in my eyes, blurring my vision. Trees and sky amalgamated into one
grey-green haze in front of my eyes. How could this have happened? After all we’d been
through together? Part of me so wanted Seithynin to be wrong, all this to be an elaborate
game. Most of me did. Some still thought it was. After all, I thought he loved me. I really
thought he loved me. I stopped and put my hand against a tree to catch my breath. A great
sob escaped from my body. I couldn’t take this, not any more. Oh Seithynin, where are you?
The bark was rough against my hand and before I knew it I was bleeding. I was a clumsy
bitch, but the house wasn’t far off now. Just a few more minutes and I’d be there, the place
that up until a few months ago had been my prison was now my refuge.

Still panting, I opened my gate and walked up the path in a controlled manner, although my
brain was screaming at me to run, run away. It was only when I reached my still bleeding
hand to unlock my door I realised it was open. I hadn’t left it open. My breath caught in my
throat. Could he have been here already? Could he still be here? I felt my own, still warm
blood trickle down my fingers and drip down onto the floor. Something stirred from within
the house. My house. The place I’d called home since I was seven years old. Something
was hanging there, swinging gently in the soft winter breeze. “What have you done now?
Answer me! Where are you, you worthless bastard?” I cried inside my head, my voice
ringing with urgency “Are you going to stalk me for the rest of my life?”

“Hello?” I tried to say, but my voice was no more than a papery whisper, stolen out of my
mouth by the wind. The cold chill of January spread though my body, biting through my
clothes and setting my very bones on fire with cold. I couldn’t stay out here. Even my blood
was beginning to blow away in the wind now. I had to do it. I stepped into my cottage, the
wooden floor creaking beneath my weight. I kept my eye on the door, looking behind me at it
even as I walked towards my chest of drawers. If could just get to it, I could be helped. The
gun would make me feel safer if anything.

My head suddenly collided with something. Whatever it was moved, wrapping itself round
my skull, squeezing, entwining itself with my hair. I wheeled round, dreading what I might
see.

It was a doll. A Barbie doll hanging from the ceiling, a noose of rope round its throat, cutting
into the soft plastic supporting an insanely grinning face. The doll itself was bald, it’s blonde
nylon hair scattered on the floor beneath it, and completely naked. As I looked, I could just
about make out two tiny red specks just below where the rope was. Vampire bites.

I recoiled as if the plastic itself was red hot. He had been here all right. He could still be
here, waiting. I needed to get to my pistol. If I could just feel it in my hand, just run my finger
over the cold metal barrel, I knew I’d be alright. My breath was now coming in short, ragged
gasps. Blood still fell in an intense crimson waterfall from the palm of my hand with no sign
of clotting. This was like something out if a horror film. I was half expecting the door to slam
shut and lock itself, barricading me in to be slaughtered like a lamb. I cautiously stepped
past the hanging doll. My foot fell with an alarming crunch on something. I stood, frozen for a
second, before I looked down at what I had stood on. It was a rose. A single, dead rose lying
broken on the floor. My eyes travelled further up the floor. There were more flowers there.
Bluebells, violets and hyacinths, every single one of them had wilted. I frowned gently and
stepped towards them. Something else was written on the wall. Black, three foot letters
glittered in the shards of broken light that lay around the room. As my eyes grew
accustomed to the darkness, I could just read them.

Roses are Red,

Violets are Blue,

All are Dead,

And so are You.

A strangled gasp escaped from my body. I actually felt my eyes grow wider. He wanted me
dead. The only man I had ever loved wanted my lying dead and bleeding. I suppose I had
known that since the day Seithynin arrived at my house, glancing over his shoulder every five
minutes as if expecting his brother to come bursting through the door at any time. He had
told me the truth, the real truth. It was one of those sparse times where it was stranger than
fiction. I had never believed it though, never wanted to. I had kept my dreadful knowledge
locked up inside me and hoped to forget about it. He reminded me now that nothing could
ever be properly forgotten. I took a step backwards again. A shadow fell over the wall beside
mine. I had taken my eyes off the door.

I screamed without knowing why, for pain, for loss, for fear maybe. Two hours ago I had
been down with Avice at the lake, laughing and throwing sticks onto the jet black ice,
blissfully unaware how close to my death I was sitting. It seemed like a lifetime had passed
since then.

I jumped round, expecting to see him there, waiting. He wasn’t. A six foot angel, carved out
of stone was standing there, alone. She cast a shadow over my doorway, blocking out the
little remaining light, her head in her hands, wings folded around her as if her grief was too
great to conceive. I found myself beside her, running my fingers over her jagged wings and
over onto her head I blinked. In the time it took me to do that, her head was up, her hollow
eye sockets boring into mine. I was instantly struck with the feeling of unbearable pain. My
bones felt like lead, chest like a vice was gripping it, tightening, tightening, tightening. I was
hyperventilating again, on my hands and knees breath came in ragged gasps, each getting
more urgent and shorter every time I inhaled. Breathing was now almost impossible. I
suddenly felt myself convulse, doubling up in pain and fear. Still the vice was there,
squeezing, squeezing. I closed my eyes, breaking eye contact in what must be my last few
breaths. Inside my closed eyelids though, I could see pictures of skeletal children, haunted
soldiers and bloodied corpses. I snapped my eyes open again, she was looking down on
me. I was screaming at her to stop, stop, please, stop.

“Delilah!”

Someone shouted my name from behind me. It was Avice. He was here. I had been right all
along. Why hadn’t I run when I had the chance?

“Delilah!” I heard heavy footsteps on the hollow floor blundering their way towards me over
the screaming blocking out my ears, filling my nose and mouth. Unearthly, inhuman shrieks
of enjoyment from the angel’s stationary mouth as I lay writhing on the floor. I tried to get up,
to run, but deep down, I knew it was hopeless. He’d get me anyway, sooner or later.

“Di,” I felt something soft brush my ear as he knelt down beside me, his voice full of care
and concern. Despite all I knew about him, how he’d gained my trust and love and then
thrown it all back at me I felt an overwhelming rush of relief. He’d kill me now and end my
torture. That’s what I wanted, all I wanted. Sweet, merciful death. And, hell, I still loved him. I
opened my eyes to gaze once more into the face I had once adored. Those familiar vivid
green eyes stared back at me; they seemed to give out their own light in a gentle halo
around his soft black hair. I only realised then that the shadow had gone. I sat up in alarm.
The angel was there, in the background, observing us through her hands once more.

“Avice” I whispered through cracked lips. He picked my head up and put it on his lap,
stoking my hair gently like he had done the time I first found out about the baby. I felt myself
drifting away now, like when you close your eyes at the end of a long day. Things would be
alright now...

“Delilah!” A strong pair of hands shook my shoulders, willing me to wake up. “Delilah, open
your eyes!”

No, Avice, I won’t.

“Delilah!”

Be quiet Avice, I don’t need you now...

“Delilah, he’s coming!”

“Who?” I whispered, my voice as dry and dusty as the floor I lay on, surprised I could find my
voice. Seithynin? I wanted to see him again before I died, to say thankyou.

“Avice, Delilah! He’s coming for you!”

“What?” I opened my eyes. Avice wasn’t standing over me. I found myself staring at Seithynin,
his face contorted with fear. He jerked his head over his shoulder with a movement like a
string puppet, checking for his older brother. “You need to leave, Delilah. Go now. Can you
walk, love?”

“I can try” I groaned. “What the hell is happening, Seithynin? Why is all this happening to me?”

“I don’t know, love” He hugged my head to his chest gently, his hand still in my hair. “I really
don’t know”

“I loved him, Seithynin”

“I know”.

There was a sound like a gunshot, a short, staccato note from the front garden. We both sat
up bolt upright, a large red blotch on Seithynin’s trousers where my hand had been.

“It’s okay, it’s only the gate” Seithynin let out a sigh of relief, ruffling his fringe. “Come on you,”
he patted my leg, “time for you to be off.”

It took a while for my brain to register what he’d just said. “Me?”

“You”

“But... aren’t you coming?”

He put his head back and laughed. “Nope. I’ll stay here.” He gave a wan smile that didn’t
quite reach his eyes or mask the fear he was trying to hide.

“But he’ll kill you!”

“I know.”

“Oh, Seithynin” I couldn’t help it. I threw my arms around him, my best friend, the person
who’d been there for me all my life. “Don’t” I whispered in his ear inbetween great, racking
sobs. “Come with me”

“Delilah,” he took my shoulders and held me at arm’s length, looking into my eyes. “Go.”

“I’m not leaving you.” I tried to inject as much confidence as I could into my voice, but it
cracked halfway through my sentence, breaking me.

“You must. Run, Delilah.”

“Why? I was sobbing in desperation now. “Why can’t you come?”

“The art of vampirism. We’re brothers, it’s a blood link. He’ll always know where I am and
I’m not risking you like that.”

I hugged him again, holding him gently. “Run,” He whispered.

I nodded, turned my back on him and eased my engagement ring over my ring finger, let
him know I was finally leaving him for good. But not without a cost. I left it where I knew he’d
see it, on the bookcase as you came into the door and turned to face Seithynin for the last
time. He nodded gravely at me. I returned it with a smile, the last I’d ever given him, and
turned away, leaving him forever, leaving him to die for me. That’s what friends are for.

[[Delilah never even made it to the bottom of her garden.]]