The Secret Website

MIKE'S POV

How could you do this to me? Can't you see it's hurting me?

I don't even know where to begin from, because I've really got so much to tell you, and my brain and my heart both are screaming to myself "just fucking say it already", but I just can't.

Not because I don't want to, but because I don't seem able to speak at all.

No, you've got no idea of how much this hurts me, Billie, you've got no idea.

All the wonderful nights we spent together going to the cinema, or all the Sunday afternoos laughing so hard it made us cry... when have those times gone? And where? And why?

It's really hard for me to say it again, after what just happened.

But I love you. I really do. More that you could ever ever ever imagine.

I'd give my heart to you, my soul, my life, I'd give anything just to see a smile of yours, and you... are still able to hurt me.

You're so blind it's fucking ridiculous, you never even notice when I'm a little bit sad or upset about something. I don't know, maybe you don't want to see. Because you know this is all because of you.

Imagine. Imagine Tre coming to your house one day, and you get the guts to tell him you're in love with him. Then imagine you kiss. And you feel so fucking happy, and you'll be thinking, I'm dead and this is heaven. And then...

And then imagine he breaks the kiss, and looks at you and then just runs away from your house. How would you feel, Billie?

I don't even know why I'm wasting my time just standing here and thinking this, cursing under my breath, and trying to understand why you just ran away.

I walked out of my house, after a good half hour of standing and thinking. I just walked, I had nowhere in mind.

When I looked up I saw I was at the park. I decided to take a walk, I had nothing better to do, and crying over what just happened to me seemed like the best idea right now.

I don't know how long I had been walking, all I knew is that at some point I heard a voice, strangely familiar, yelling at the top of their lungs: "I LOVE YOU!"

At first I didn't pay attention, but then, almost absentmindly, a face popped up in my head. And I was scared. I felt numb, if I was right and that was Tre's voice... he sounded so... desperate, almost. I've never heard him like that. And that's the main reason I was worried.

I ran. I didn't know where, I had no idea of where I was going, all I knew was that I needed to find him.

And suddenly the world ended.

Laying on the grass, near the bench where I'd ask, as Stranger, to meet Billie, was Tre. And on top of him, Billie.

I swear, the world, to me, ended right then.

Billie was crying, and Tre was, too. But what destroyed my world for good, was the words that came out of Billie's mouth. Billie, whom I loved so much. Billie, my Billie...

"I love you, too. I'd die without you."

That was it, that was my death sentence. Oh sure, I'd still walk and talk and eat, but not live. You know, actually live my life. I just couldn't.

And if I thought that was it, oh no. They kissed. I saw the whole scene, like in those movies, in slow motion. Billie leaning down, Tre wiping away Billie's tears, Billie grabbing Tre's hand on his heart and then putting his own hand on Tre's heart, and then Billie whispering the killing words.

"I love you, too. I'd die without you."

And the next moment Billie's kissing Tre.

I swear, my world has ended. There was no point in living life anymore.

Billie, you don't know what you've just done to me.