My Beloved Monster

I still haven't cried yet, then again it's only been an hour or so since dinner. All my stuff was pack, well what I could find of it.

I know I am taking the cowardly way out by running away, but why fight for something that is not felt mutually.

I looked at a package on that I left out on the bed. It's Bam's birthday present that I thought I would give him in person, but I just couldn't bring myself to.

I looked at the digital clock next to my bed; it was a half hour after one in the morning. The taxi would be hear any minute.

I looked around the room with a heavy heart at all the memories that were not only made in this room, but in this house in general.

I slung my two bags over my shoulder and went into the kitchen with Bruno following me. I gently placed the package on the counter. I looked at the stairs. Though the castle still had its warm homey feeling to it, everything was unusually dead silent.

I slipped out the door and followed Bruno up the driveway. I saw the headlights of my taxi come down the driveway. The guy stepped out and put my bags in the trunk.

Instead of going straight to the airport, I gave the driver directions to Ape and Phil's house.

I knew it was late, but I would feel bad and it would be rude if I didn't say goodbye to at least to them.

It took a few minutes until I heard shuffling and a light went on after I rang the bell, but I wouldn't blame them it was nearing two in the morning. Phil answered the door with a concerned face when he saw it was me. "Adelina? Is everything okay?"

"Phil? Who's-Adelina what's wrong?" Ape came from behind Phil in her nightgown and pulled me inside. She noticed the taxi out side, "What's going on Adelina?"

"Nothing is wrong. There was just a change of plans and I came to say goodbye." I smiled.

"You're leaving already?" She pulled me into a hug and started crying.

"I didn't think it was that soon." Phil rubbed my back.

"I know." I chocked on a sob. These people were the closest thing I had to parents now and it would be for them that I almost changed my mind about running away. But, then I remembered that I'd have to leave at the end of this week anyway and I figured it would be best if I stuck to my plan.

"You're going to come back right?" Ape asked me.

I felt my nose tingle as the tears slid down my cheeks. "I hope so."

"What are we crying for then? It's not like this is goodbye." Phil tried to cheer us up.

Ape stood back a step and whipped her eyes, "That's right, we should be happy. You're going to be kicking ass in Finland."

"Do you guys get the channel?" I asked hoping they would support me and watch it.

"Honey, we have every channel possible," Phil laughed making me smile.

"Don't worry we definitely won't miss it. We'll even Tevo it for you." Ape pulled me into another hug.

The taxi honked the horn, "I guess that's my cue."

"Call us as soon as you land. If you need anything, I don't care what time it is, call me." Ape hugged me tighter and kissed me. I sniffled and nodded my head into her shoulder.

"Come here." Phil pulled a bear hug and kissed my cheek. "And the same goes for me."

I nodded my head and whispered hoarsely, "I'm going to miss you guys."

Ape tucked some hair behind my ear. "Honey, everything's going to be fine. And we never say goodbye, we'll see you in a little bit. Right?"

I nodded my head and smiled, "Yeah."

They gave me one last hug before the taxi honked the horn again. I watched the house disappear as the cab drove off.

At the airport, sadly, I had to depart with Bruno. I sat in an uncomfortable seat outside the gate waiting for my flight to be called. I took out my phone and dialed Chase's number desperate to talk to someone.

"Hallo?" I heard his groggy voice.

"I'm on my way to visit Cody." I said after taking a deep breath.

"What happened doll?" He said more alert.

"Nothing I shouldn't have predicted because it's how I saw us at first." I swallowed a lump in my throat. "Turns out I was just the girl of the season."

"Oh, Adelina." He said softly.

"I really loved him too." I sighed.

"Why don't you skip Cody's and come home?" Chase asked me.

Home? Funny I thought I was home just this morning. I shook my head no, though he couldn't see it. "I need these last few days to myself."

He sighed knowing that he wasn't going to win this one. "Please, don't do anything stupid."

"You know I would never-"

"No, I know, but it's just something I need say." He rubbed the sleep off his face. "Is there anything you need me to do?"

The announcement went off in the background alerting all passengers to begin boarding the flight. "No, I'll have my phone shut off though. They just called me."

"I am so terribly sorry doll. I'll talk to you soon okay? I love you."

"Okay, love you too." I closed the phone and adjusted my bag.

After a grueling flight that never seemed to end, I was near Allepey in Kerala. I chose the perfect time to come to India. My hair flattened and frizzed as soon as I departed the plane. Up until October India is known for it's worst humidity and its rain season.

You would think that I would take the pouring rain as a bad omen, but no, I'm too stubborn to do that. Instead I was able to find Bruno and my bags.

I was able to get a small-motorized riverboat with not a lot of people aboard. You would also think I would turn around when there wasn't a cover on the boat as I got soaked to my underwear, but no, I kept going.

The boat pulled up to what I hoped was the correct dock; I haven't been here in a few years. I paid the boatman and looked at my feet as they sunk in the mud.

I looked at the darkened sky as the rain washed over my face. I made my way over to where the road was paved. The house was only 2 or 3 miles down the road. Bruno circled around my feet as I adjusted the straps over my bag.

I looked through my purse seeing if I could find my cell phone maybe I could spare my feet some blisters and call ahead.

"Where the hell is the fucking thing?" I mumbled to my self. I sighed aggravated and saw that I was in no position to go through my things at the moment as the rain soaked through to my underwear.

A couple of hours later I came up to a brick house. It wasn't big to what I was used to, but it was huge for this area.

I nervously adjusted my bags once more and rang the doorbell. When I opened the door, I saw the golden blond hair that I inherited. I didn't look too much like my father, but I definitely got his hair color and dimples. "Hey Cody."

"Adelina?" He asked surprised.

"Do mind if I do not stand in the rain any longer?" I asked shyly.

He seemed to snap out of his daze, "Oh, right come in, sorry."

"Where are your wife and Blake?" I asked. It's not that I didn't get along with my father's family, but things were always awkward between us.

"They're visiting her parents for the weekend." He replied. "How about you go take a warm bath and get into dry clothes, while I make us some tea and get something for Bruno?"

I nodded my head and put my stuff in the spare bedroom that had an adjoining bathroom. I noticed that historical romantic feel to the house when I turned the water on for the lion claw tub.

I soaked into the steamy water. I sighed as it warmed my aching joints. I fully submerged my self and opened my eyes just watching the glassy surface.

I sat up and just wrapped my arms around myself letting the sobs roll through me. I finally allowed myself to feel vulnerable and let my emotions go free. The tears just slid down my cheeks.

I warned myself not to get attached. But, if it made me so happy why did the consequences have to be so lethal?

Novak felt the need to wake up. It was two in the morning and the house too fucking quiet for comfort.

He walked downstairs half expecting Ass and Bam to be going at it on the couch or floor, wherever knowing what Bam had planned for tonight.

But something was wrong. He yawed and stretched his arms. He knocked on Bam's door, but just got a grunt. He shrugged and opened the door cautiously.

Bam was just lying on his back in the center of his bed with one arm resting across his eyes, while his free hand was clutched into a fist.

"From the lack of humping, I'm assuming you wussed out or she turned you down." Novak said from his safe position in the door frame.

"I fucked up so much worse Lifepartner." Bam sighed. "So much worse."

"What could you have possibly done?" Novak raised his eyebrows.

Bam mouth went dry thinking about how bad he screwed up. "I told her- I told her that we were a summer fling, no strings attached."

Novak shook his head, "Then why'd you buy that huge ass ring if you felt that way?"

"Because I wussed out and panicked." Bam used Novak's words and laughed bitterly at how much of a coward he acted like.

"So what?" Novak shrugged. "Go downstairs and fix it. The longer you wait the more shit's gonna hit the fan." Novak saw Bam had sunk into his own little world and left quietly.

He looked at his right hand and slowly uncoiled his fingers. There, lying in his palm was a black leather box. He rubbed his eyes trying to get the redness to go down. Novak was right.

He dragged himself out of his bed and nervously went downstairs, hoping he could just fix everything before it was too late.

He was too much in his own thoughts trying to figure out the right words to say to notice the same observation that woke up Novak. Everything was too quiet.

He opened the door and froze when he looked up. No one was there and the bed was made. His blood ran cold, this could not be happening.

Frantically he pulled open the closet to see it empty, the same was with the dresser. He shook his head and whispered to himself, "No."

"Novak! Get your ass down here!!" He shouted up the stairs and looked in the kitchen where Adel would normally leave a note. There wasn't a note, but there was a gift.

He slowly undid the royal purple and black ribbons and tore off the skateboarding wrapping paper. On the cover was a huge heartagram with of picture of Adel and everyone in the center. The lyrics of Under the Rose made up the heartagram. When he picked up the book a letter came out.

He opened the envelope and took out the carefully folded envelope. He smiled when he saw Adel's beautiful handwriting and read the letter.

My beloved monster,
I know that this was written way early in advance, but Happy Birthday! I figured that I might be gone before it so I wrote this just for you. Knowing you, you probably are going to be impatient and opened this up before you are supposed to.
Also, I wanted to thank you for everything. I have never been happier in my life. Coming to "Castle Bam" was the best remedy for me. Before I came, I really had no idea who I was.
The only time I was happy was when I was hanging out with Chaz and Wolf or ice-skating just for me. Yet, something was still missing, I was never truly happy. But, staying with you, I felt free. It was a great feeling for you to have given me, so danke. And doing all that stupid shit with you and the guys was awesome.
And you taking me out on amazing dates was . . .wonderful. Something else that I've been meaning to say is that I love you. If I don't tell you before you read this, it's because I was too scared to admit it out loud. I don't know why I love your arrogant ass, but I do.
Always in my heart,
Adelina
Novak came down stairs only to avoid a glass shattering in his direction. "I'm guessing she didn't take it too well?"

"No Novak! She's fucking not here." Bam yelled in frustration and then glanced at the letter and was consumed with grief. "All her stuff is gone."

Novak took the letter and read it immediately feeling sorry for his friend. "Come on."

Bam followed Novak to his car and looked out the window as he drove down the driveway. "Where are we going?"

"There's an airport actually in Bayreuth. We are going to get you on a plane there." Novak said calmly glad he was there for his friend for a first.

"How do you know she's not at Ape's?" Bam asked.

Novak thought about it for a moment. "Nah, if you're going to run away from your problems, or whatever this is, you'd do it right."

Bam nodded in agreement. He had run himself, but in a different way. Ironically, if Bam ran he could catch the last flight out to the small town in Southern Germany.

The two gave each other a 'manly' hug at the gate. "Good luck man."

Bam nodded and ran through the tunnel right before the flight attendant shut the door.