My Beloved Monster

When Bam first got home; he was in this daze that no one could break. Things weren't supposed to go this way.

Maybe, things really were just too good to be true.

He sighed and sat at the counter staring into his cup of coffee. His cats ran across the kitchen chasing each other. Normally, Bruno would be sliding across the floor after them.

What was he talking about, normally?

Four months ago, Bruno would never have been here!

How the hell could one woman come into his life and screw so much up?

Novak and Raab tried to get out of Bam what happened in Bayreuth. They saw the cut on his lip.

Novak came and sat across from him, but didn't say anything.

"You really want to know huh?" Bam mumbled.

Novak nodded. "Of course. I drove you to the airport and it's like this whole different person came back."

"She didn't even want to speak to me." Bam swallowed.

"So you didn't even see her?" Novak asked getting pissed off. His friend travels across the world, the least Adel could do was see him.

"I did, however, see Chaz and Wolf." Bam touched his lip.

"You get into some fight?"

Bam sighed and massaged his temples; a headache was starting to form. "Not really. This was just a sucker punch. They really just showed me the truth."

"And what was that?" Novak clenched his fist.

"That I didn't deserve her." Bam said simply.

True, it wasn't right what Bam said to Adel, but it pissed Novak off to no end how they got into his head like that.

"Bam if she didn't have the decency to say any of that to your face, then it is you she didn't deserve. That's just the cowardly way out." Novak sat up and lit a cigarette. "You know what I think we need?"

Bam grinned and took Novak's fag to his own lips, "A party."

"Let me get this one." Novak laughed and took Bam's credit card.

Bam laughed and shook his head. He took a drink of his coffee and inhaled the cigarette. "Just don't demolish the house in the process."

"Nah, I'll have it all under control." Novak smirked; glad the old Bam was back. "Dude, you look like a caveman. Go have Ape cut your hair, while I do this."

"Yeah, I probably should." Bam ran his hand threw his hair.

New hair, new start, and a good party were all that Bam felt that he needed at the moment.

Bam threw open the door to his parents house, "Yo Ape, get your ass down here!"

Ape sighed coming out of the kitchen, "What Bam?"

"I need a new look. I'm tired of long hair." Bam smiled.

Ape raised an eyebrow. Last time she came at him with scissors, he chucked them into the pool because he wanted to keep his 'long curls' so Adel could run her fingers threw it.

"Why the sudden change? I thought you were keeping it long so Adel could play with it."

"No more Adel, no need for long hair." Bam shrugged.

"Oh, well in that case-wait what?" Ape turned back around.

Bam sighed. "We ended it."

"When?" Ape was shocked. Adel said nothing to her on the phone.

"The night she left. We were just a summer thing I guess." Bam said like it was old news.

"Adel never said anything when she came here to say goodbye." Ape was still surprised and leaned on the sofa letting this all sink in.

Bam's breath caught in his throat. "She came here."

Ape nodded her head. "Yeah, at like two in the morning she showed up at the front door because of some change of plans."

Bam's eyes dulled over.

If he had only gone downstairs maybe a half an hour earlier he would have caught her.

He would have been able to stop her, make her stay, apologize, and propose to her.

Bam shook his head. It didn't matter now.

He was too late, why dwell over the past?

New hair, new start, and a good party.

April sighed. She didn't dare say anything. It couldn't be denied, Bam had inherited his MumMum's short fuse and she did not want to trigger it.

As hard as it was for her, she kept her opinion to herself. "What would you like me do with it?"

"Just shave it off." Bam took his sunglasses off and sat in the chair Ape had pulled out for him.

Starting with the hairline on his neck April began to cut his beautiful curls.

Working on the right side, she noticed an unfamiliar tattoo. "When did you get this one?"

"Something Knoxville had me do when we were in LA." Bam said trying to forget that trip.

How Adel slept in his arms during the plane ride.

How he took her on Dunn's couch and in his shower and a few other places they'd let Ryan figure out on his own.

And then how he held her hand and vise versa in the tattoo parlor, where they had gotten matching tattoos.

'Promise rings' Dunn had called them. What a load of shit.

"I like this one." April approved.

'Of course she would.' Bam thought bitterly. "You almost done. I want to get back when the guests start to arrive."

"Bam," Ape sighed. "Why are you having another one?"

"Because I can. And it's not me who's throwing it; it's Novak." Bam smirked.

'Oh lord.' Ape rolled her eyes and began working on his bangs. "Did you smoke?"

Bam shrugged. "What of it?"

"I thought you quite." Ape always loved his son, no matter what he did, but she was happy when he started to cut back on his worse habits.

"Old habits die hard," was Bam's only response.

"You're finished." Ape said and brushed his collar off.

"Thanks. Not bad." He said looking in the mirror hanging on the wall and messed it up to his liking.

"Of course it isn't. I'm the one that cut it." Ape smiled at her handy work.

Bam just rolled his eyes and laughed. "Cocky bitch."

"I heard that." Ape smacked the back of his head. Her facial features then softened. "If you need to talk, I'm here you know."

"Yeah, yeah." Like he was going to talk to his mom about the woman she adored as much as him, if not more.

"I mean it." She insisted. "And don't let things get out of control tonight."

"Do I ever?" Ape gave Bam a look. "Yeah okay."

He took the long way home and blasted music trying to drown out thoughts that kept sneaking up on him.

By the time he got back to the castle, it was dark and the party seemed to be going in full flare.

He parked the car in the hobbit hole and slowly made his way to the pirate bar. He saw everyone inside and having fun.

Bam was also having second doubts about facing this many people at the moment. Maybe he wasn't ready.

He took a cigarette out of his pack and lit it up. He plopped in a lawn chair and took a deep drag as the bass of the music sounded through the door.

Bam ignored the door opening and closing and just hoped the nicotine would kick in soon.

"Didnt ever think that I would see you so mellow." A female voice mused behind him.

"Yeah well, better hold onto that memory because it'll be a rare one." Bam said uninterested in this new company that thought they knew him so well.

"I wouldn't expect anything less from Brandon Margera."

He finally looked at the person intruding in on his space, calling him by his own name. "Missy? God, it's been a long time."

She smiled and gave him a hug. "Yeah it has. You look good, well except for the long face."

He looked her over as well. He brown hair had a slight tease to it and her honey eyes sparkled under the moon. He smiled, "You look great."

Bam just sat out in the backyard with Missy all night long. Talking about old times.

Except for going in the house to get drinks, Bam had rather stay and hang out with Missy, just one on one.

He felt a whole lot better than he had in the last two weeks since Bayreuth.

Just lying under the stars, laughing, drinking and smoking.