My Beloved Monster

Every costumer coming into the flower shop keeps telling me how wonderful I look. That the "glow of pregnancy has been treating me well."

Much to my pleasure, my blood pressure has been good and I haven't had any problems with it.

Though at 18 weeks already, I have yet to feel the babies move. At first, I panicked thinking something was wrong.

When I called the doctor, she had to calm me down and reassure me it was normal and that it could be possible that I won't feel anything until 20 weeks.

Helga has been so helpful with homemade remedies and other tips to keep my sanity throughout the pregnancy.

She was also having a fun time with me getting me thinking such ridiculous things, like your skin may turn a purple tint during pregnancy.

Everyone thought it was hysterical how gullible I was. I on the other hand found it hard to find the humor in it.

The other day, Chaz went with me to get my first ultra sound done. I was hoping to see the sex of the babies, but every time we got close, the babies would stubbornly turn the other way.

I thought hearing the heartbeat was crazy, seeing them on the screen just blew me away. They each had these teeny tiny fingers and a little nose. I was just overwhelmed with emotion.

That was another thing I was noticing my emotions began to get the best of me. I always swore that I would never cry because of something I saw on a commercial, but lately my hormones have broken that promise.

So now I have their first photograph and video added to the collection of the recording of their heartbeats. I keep it all in this planner in my purse and take it everywhere with me.

I got up smiling at the protectiveness that Bruno has had over me lately. Usually he will just watch where I go and stay sleeping on his chair in the living room, but now he is always at my feet. Not asking for my attention really, but guarding me and following me everywhere.

I went over in to the shopping bags from last weekend. After the New Year, Chaz and Marie took me shopping for some maternity clothes. They were sick of seeing me in my sweat pants only since my jeans and other dress pants no longer fit me. I pulled on a v-neck olive colored shirt and some low cut jeans. I sat on the edge of my bed and zipped up my black ankle boots.

I made Chaz and I some breakfast, even though Chaz probably wouldn't wake up until lunch anyway.

"Adelina, are those heels I see you in?" Helga asked taking her reading glasses off and laying them on the counter.

I shut the door welcoming the warmth of the flower shop. I took my coat and hat off shaking my hair to get it to lie back down normally. I smiled and tried to look innocent, "They might be."

"Adelina, your back is going to hurt even worse if you keep continuing to wear those stilts." Helga shook her head at me and continued to work on a bouquet.

"Hey," I placed a hand on my hip. "These are not stilts, my other shoes were worse."

"Whatever you say Adelina." She sighed sticking in some baby's breath. "Whatever you say."

"Don't make me feel guilty." I said taking out an empty vase and started working on my own bouquet.

She laughed. "But is it working?"

"You are so cruel to me." I pouted gathering some flowers together.

"It's all innocent fun. You know that." Helga laughed hugging me from the side.

There wasn't much going on the rest of the day at the flower shop. I helped the regular customers and made a few vases to keep myself busy.

I even made a crown of flowers in my hair. I have to say so myself that it looked pretty good, especially since the colors would show up against the snow.

Helga left a little while ago and I would close the flower shop today. So when 7:30pm came around I locked the freezers and made sure everything was put away.

I shut off the lights and locked the door. I shoved the hat in my pocket so the flowers could stay in my hair longer and made my way into the cold night.

The white snow around was beautiful and I don't remember ever seeing the stars so bright.

I unlocked my door and grinned when Bruno greeted me right away. "Chaz?" I shouted into the house. He must have still been out since there was no answer.

"Want to go for a walk Bruno?' I smiled when he got excited when I opened the back door for him.

I rubbed my belly waiting for Bruno to hurry up. "When are you guys going to let me know you're in there huh?"

I wanted to feel that tiny flutter of their movement.

"What a good boy." I cooed to Bruno when he came running in with his tongue hanging out. I laughed and shook my head going upstairs changing into something more comfortable. Although these jeans were looser they were still a bit itchy against my stomach.

I went to place my clothes in the hamper next to the dresser to see the light blinking on the answering machine. I pressed the play button surprised to hear April's voice.

"Adelina it's April. Phil, he-" She took a deep breath and sounded like she had been crying. "They think that he had a heart attack sweetie. He's been stabilized and put ICU. The doctors are hoping that they can switch him to a recovery room soon. But, I just thought you might want to know what's going on. I love you sweetie. I'll talk to soon I guess."

I stared at the phone and played the message again to see if what I heard was correct.

The next thing I knew I took out a suitcase and was shoving things in it and was on the phone making arrangement to go to Pennsylvania. I shoved on some white leggings and boots not wanting to change and dragged my bag downstairs.

I scribbled a note and left in on the fridge for Chaz. I knew he probably wouldn't understand, but I needed to be there.

"Come Bruno." I put his leash on. "We're going for a ride." I put my stuff in the back seat and let Bruno in on the passenger seat. I usually don't use my car, but I figured it would be the most efficient way to get to the Bayreuth airport. I went through my wallet making sure I had all the necessary papers like my passport before I left.

I adjusted my purse as I walked through the gate to the plane. I have no idea how, but some how I was able to get a flight to the Philadelphia International Airport.

I took my seat and hoped more than anything that Phil was all right. I buckled my seat belt and hoped the hours would pass quickly.

My eyes fluttered open. I looked out the window only to see that it was still dark out. I looked at my watch to see it was near five in the morning though. We must be nearing the States then. However, there were still a couple of hours to go.

But what had woken me up?

There it was again. A little pop. I bit my lip smiling. I could finally feel them moving.

But, then all the color must have drained from my face. What have I done?

I looked around my settings. That was the one rule I was suppose to follow, not to fly. What if that flutter was because of the plane?

I leaned back in my seat and closed my eyes. "Please just let everything be okay." I whispered to myself and placed my hands on my belly.

I was once again overwhelmed by people a few hours later. The Philly International was huge compared to the Bayreuth Airport. I got my passport stamped and made my way to baggage claim and went to get Bruno.

I followed the map, hoping I read it right, to the bottom floor to rent a car. Once I was settled into the Volkswagen Passat I took a breath and realized I had no idea where I was going.

I sighed stepping out of the car and went back up to the desk, "Entschuldigen Sie Bitte." The guy looked at me funny and I smack my forehead. "Excuse me please, but can you tell me how to get from 95 to West Chester?"

I followed 95 until I had to start using the guy's directions praying that they were correct. A few wrong turns and about three hours later, I found myself in familiar settings.

I check the clock on the car to see it was after nine, while my watch read three in the afternoon. I should probably change that to stop messing me up even more with the time change. I took the next exit and found myself in the hospital parking lot.

I killed the engine and looked at Bruno. "I should probably go in huh?" Bruno just looked at me with his tongue hanging out. "I'll take that as a yes." I pulled my coat closer and tightened my scarf in nervousness.

I rolled down the window a bit for Bruno and locked up the rental car. I rubbed my hands for warmth entering the hospital entrance.

I went over to the gift store and got a bunch of Get Well balloons. I laughed softly to myself when all I had in my wallet were Euros. I handed the cashier my travler's debit card that I had left over from the summer.

Finding out his room information at the front desk, I headed up to the tenth floor. It was on recovery so he had least been moved out of intensive care.

Of course I was worried about running into Bam, but Phil was like a dad to me, and I needed to see that he was okay.

Through the small window, I saw Rake, Dico, and Novak in the room making Phil laugh.

God I missed them. I missed that wonderful dream.

I knocked on the door politely, that part of me will never change. Rake answered the door. I almost went into shy mode; I haven't seen these guys since- well in a while. In a soft-spoken voice I greeted him. "Guten Tag."

"Ah! Ass!" He shouted getting everyone's attention and wrapped me in tight hug. I tried to keep my stomach as far away as I could as I got the life squeezed out of me. If Ville and the guys kept their promise, these guys still don't know. Hell, sometimes I feel like I still don't know. "Nice flowers."

I felt my hair and laughed forgetting I had put them in. "Danke. I was bored at work." Oh no, I completely forgot about Helga. There's another phone call I must make.

Dico took me from his arms hugging me as well and then held me back at a distance. "Since when did you get such fine curves? I mean I didn't think it was possible, but your breasts are bigger."

"Danke Dico." I rolled my eyes and quickly covered my tracks. "But, you know, not figure skating as much, I gained a few pounds. I didn't think I looked that bad."

"I'm not complaining." Dico grinned.

Rake laughed, "Your accent is so thick again."

I merely smiled agreeing and greeted Novak seeing as he was in the room as well. Novak stiffly nodded his head with a short, "Hey."

I thought his reaction was weird compared to everyone else, but I smiled anyway. Then I turned to reason why I flew almost 18 hours and a whole ocean from my safe, isolated from my fear and the truth, house.

"Phil." I breathed relieved and hugged him. "Well, I got you more balloons."

The room was filled with them.

He laughed, "Thank you sweetheart."

Phil looked pale, but his energy seemed okay. I knew he would recovery quickly despite how all the wires made him appear. He didn't have a heart attack, but it was pretty close.

I sat on the edge of the bed, "Don't you think that I forgot, I have that special order for you. And just in time it seems, your anniversary is coming up."

Phil had asked me to find this beautiful ring for from Faberge to give to April.

I handed him the velvet ring box. He opened it and smiled, "It's even more beautiful Adel."

I spent a few moments talking before I felt my pocket vibrate. I mentally slapped myself for leaving it on, but I took this as a sign to leave. "I sorry to go so soon, but Bruno was left in the car." I excused myself.

"Where are you staying sweetie?" Phil asked naturally.

"I don't remember the name, but it is in West Chester." I semi-lied. This whole thing was so spontaneous; I have no clue where I was staying. I smiled and put on my brave face, not that they'd realize this anyway. It was more of a security thing for myself. "But I'll call as soon as I find out to settle your nerves."

I hugged each of the guys, even Novak, but Dico last. "Please don't let Bam know I'm here. Tell everyone for me." I whispered quickly and waved goodbye. I saw him nod through the window. I smiled at him once more before getting into the elevator.

Everyone reluctantly agreed to the request Adel had Dico ask, thinking it was also probably for the best.

Novak sat quietly fuming through it though. He waited a few minutes before he stormed out of the room to outside in need of smoking a cigarette.