My Beloved Monster

I woke up groggily to the kicking in my stomach. I placed my hand on my belly where it was coming from. When my vision finally cleared, I looked around the bland room.

It reminded me of the room I visited Phil in. Dirty cream walls with the bottom half painted a slate blue. There was a corded phone and a plastic fern on the one end table.

There was a large window to my right. It was dark outside with no stars or moon to light it up. Only the light from the hallway and the light from the street lamps streamed through.

Under the window Phil and Ape were leaning on each other fast asleep.

I looked up to the popcorn styled ceiling and sighed. I closed my eyes only to see memories flash through my head.

That horrible message.

My chest tightening.

The dizziness and sliding down the wall.

People talking.

Sirens and bright red lights.

I don't remember anything past the few moments in the back of the ambulance.

But, that last message stuck out like a sore thumb.

I looked back over at Phil and Ape sleeping. I'd hate to wake them up, but I figured they'd want to know. By the looks of how dark it is outside, I have been out a long time.

I tried to call their names, but my throat was so dry and scratchy that only some raspy air escaped.

I looked over to the end table and saw a bottle of water. I tried to reach it by the IV cord and other wires attached to my chest and belly got in my way. I only succeeded in knocking it over and it rolling to Phil's foot.

I groaned and laid back into the mountain of pillows. You have got to be kidding me.

I heard Phil sneeze and looked down at his foot where the water bottled rolled into him. He looked up and saw me. I smiled sleepily and waved seeing how talking wasn't an option at the moment.

He smiled softly, "You gave us a good scare."

"Sorry." I tried whispering, but it sounded funny and nothing like the word, 'sorry.'

He bent over to pick up the water bottle waking Ape up in the process. He kissed her temple and whispered something in her ear.

She shot up and her eyes widened as she looked at me. "Adelina Schmetterling! I am about to kick your ass!"

Phil got up first and opened the water bottle before handing it to me. He smiled sympathetically knowing the verbal beating that Ape was going to lay on me.

Ape stood in front of Phil. "And just how long have you noticed your blood pressure rising or signs that were going to lead to this!?"

"I'm going to go get the doctor." Phil excused himself from this confrontation.

I took a large gulp of the warm water. It felt so good as it went down soothing my throat. "A few days, it's been gradually showing up." I whispered. "But, I was doing everything the doctor had told me to do if I noticed. It's not like I could take medicine."

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Do you know how much you scared me? When I saw them put the oxygen over you face." She paused and shook her head. "You were as blue as a Smurf Adel."

Phil and the doctor came in before I could respond. "Well, Miss Senta we weren't sure if you would make it for a while."

I felt Ape run her fingers through my hair trying to calm me. She saw my frightened look upon hearing that news and gave me a small reassuring smile.

"Do you remember what happened?" He asked me as he looked through my chart and check the IV drip and the EKG monitoring three heart rates. I licked my dry lips and nodded. "Aright, tell me."

I told him about my headache and sore muscles that I woke up with. That at work I began my regular routine like usual. "Then, I remembered I forgot to turn my cell phone on and I had several messages." I stopped not feeling to comfortable about telling the rest.

They noticed and all looked at me waiting for me to continue. I felt so on display with the three pair of eyes on me. "Were any of them upsetting?" The doctor tried to urge me to go on.

I played with the thin hospital blanket. "Yeah. I know I already didn't feel well this morning, but I know I should have just hung up the phone like I planned on. It was just more stress on my body than I needed." I shook my head and retold everything I remember as best I could, though it was a bit hazy.

The doctor nodded and filled me in on the rest. "Well, you lost consciousness on the way here. We had a hard time lowering your pressure, but you seem fine now. And you're real lucky to." He looked up from the notes he was taking. "Both you and your children seem fine. You have no irregular patterns." He rolled over the EKG machine and showed me how the waves looked and that they were as close to normal as they should be.

He also explained that he wanted me here for the next few days, just make sure that my blood pressure stayed regular and that there would not be any more asthma attacks. He gave me the picture of the sonogram they took before leaving and saying that either himself or a nurse would be checking me periodically.

"What time is it?" I asked out loud.

"4:30." Phil sat back down on the chair.

"In the morning?" He nodded. I sighed and laid back down looking at the picture.

"Phil why don't you go find something for her to eat?" Ape asked him. Phil nodded and did what he was told. I moved over for Ape to sit next to me. She climbed up and stroked my hair like before. "Adel, who, what did the message say?"

I shook my head and played with the photo.

"Adel, just tell me. I can help you." She tried to coax it out of me.

"I know he was drunk, but it still hurt hearing the things he said." I sighed.

"Was it one of the guys?" She tried to pry more info.

I shrug. "Sort of."

Ape sighed. "What did Bam say?"

"It was just a whole lot of nonsense." I yawned and leaned in her arms. "Please Ape just leave it alone."

"No." She said firmly. "I've had about enough of all this Adel." I looked at her; she was serious. "Things have gotten too out of control." I opened my mouth to disagree, but by the look she was giving me, I thought twice about it. "We're not playing your games any more Adel, they've landed you in the hospital. My son has the right to know. This is not some silly argument in the sand box Adel."

"I know Ape." I said softly. "But-"

She sat up and took my chin in her hand. "The only 'but' you should be thinking of is if something did or does happen to you. What would you do then? I know you scared Adel, but you need to tell Bam."

She gave me a kiss on the forehead and told me to go back to sleep. Yeah real easy with the stuff I had going on in my head.

A nurse was waking me up and there were more people in the room today. I looked around and saw Ape still in her designated chair. Novak had Lindsey in his lap and Dunn was laughing with Novak over something.

"Well, well, well. Look who finally decided to say good afternoon?" Dunn smiled.

"Hi." I mumbled and smiled. "Ow!"

The nurse looked over at me and smirked. "You'll forgive me. Minor pain in order for your jailbreak." She continued to de-wire me.

"Really?" I grinned.

"That eager to get out of here?" Novak teased.

"I think she should spend a few more days in bed for putting me through all that." Lindsey pouted.

"I kind of like that idea." Ape mused agreeing.

I mouth dropped at how they were ganging up on me. "Too late. I'm already unplugged." I said smugly.

Ape handed me a bag. "Just get changed Adel."

I smiled thankfully and went into the bathroom to change out of the hospital gown. I slipped on the fresh pants and shirt over my underwear.

I tied back my greasy hair. First priority when we get back is a shower. I refused to take one here in a shower who knows who else has used. I went back in the room kicking off the slippers and sat on the bed to put on my socks and shoes.

Phil walked into the room. "Ready?"

I nodded eagerly and pulled on my coat walking out the door first.

"I think the only other time I've seen her go that fast was for a pint of Ben and Jerry's." I heard Novak joke with everyone.

"Fuck you Novak." I glared and followed Phil to fill out the forms to get me the heck out of here.

Three days and two nights I had to lie in a bed. I have a bad case of cabin fever and all I want to do is get away from the stale air and the sterilized corridors of this place.

They handed me a prescription to get filled out for two types of inhalers. One, I was to take one a day and the other inhaler was for me to carry around for emergencies in case I would have another asthma attack.

Ape sent Lindsey and Novak to the pharmacy to fill out my prescription. She wasn't too happy that Novak was going, but she trusted Lindsey to keep him in line.

Me? I was directed to the back seat of Ape's PT Loser, while she brought us back to their house to do what?

Rest.

I rolled my eyes, but obeyed knowing that there would be hell to pay if I didn't.

So I'm back in my potato couch position, Bruno lying comfortably with his head on my lap and eating a bag of pecans.

"How desperate are you to get out?"

I looked over my shoulder to see Ape leaning in the doorframe. "Very." I sighed exasperated.

She chuckled and swung her keys. "Can I trust you enough to go pick up your drugs from Novak's?"

"Of course." I stood up anxious at the opportunity. "Where is he?"

"At Bam's." I froze debating how desperate I was to get out. She smiled challenging me. "Is that a problem?"

I grabbed to keys. "No."

"Okay, I'll see you in a bit. If not, you better pick up your phone when I call." She warned me.

I got into her car and groaned. "I should have just said no."

I parked next to the front entrance in Phil's old spot. I got out of the car and rang the bell.

Bam opened the door with dark sunglasses on. "Oh, it's you." He leaned in the door, like Ape had moments earlier. "Come to sleep with Novak again? Or would you prefer Jussi today?"

I couldn't take it. Accusing me of doing that kind of stuff when you're drunk is one thing, but while sober is a different story. Not that I would prefer either.

What got this idea in head; I haven't got a damn clue. But, with my hormones raging on top of my own feelings, this anger in me just popped.

"Don't be so fucking self absorbed Bam. You want me to sleep with him until it's the truth? Then fine, I won't be needing this anymore." I ripped the bracelet off my wrist, breaking the chain and chucked it at his chest.

Bam looked down at his hands and thumbed over the engraving, 'Property of Bam.'

"I don't even know why I still wore it. Everyone always told me to take it off; I should have listened." I shook my head. I need to get out of here and find Novak; he had my medicine.

I should have just said no.

I felt my chest tightening up. Not good. I tried to concentrate on my breathing.

"Adel?" I heard Bam start talking to me.

"Where's Novak?" I cut him off.

His face seemed to harden again. "I don't know, go find him for yourself."

Still forcing my breathing to go slowly and deeply, I took out my cell phone and dialed his number and followed the ringing to the pirate bar.

Jussi came down the stairs just in time to see Adel go down to the kitchen. "What's with you lately Bam?"

"I don't know." Bam shook his head looking at the bracelet. "Every time I even look at her my skin just crawls and I just get so frustrated."

"You should just settle you're anger Bam and find some common ground with her." He broke his stare at the stairs and looked at Bam.

"Some Finnish wisdom?" Bam smirked.

"No, the truth." Jussi said seriously.

"Adel?" Novak picked up and then laughed when he saw me. But, frowned when he saw I didn't look so hot.

"I- having another one." I put my hand on the table to support myself.

Novak hands shook nervously as he searched his pockets for the inhaler. He took out the bag and handed me one. "I think that's the one for random attacks."

I inhaled the steroid and immediately felt my lungs loosen their tight grip on me. I sat there letting myself calm down. "Thank you." I took another deep breath. "I think I need to go home and sleep this off."

"Here let me drive you. Only a day out of the hospital; Ape's going to kill you." Novak went to get his coat. "What happened anyway?" I gave him a look. "Oh." He took my left hand and led me to the car. "Where's your bracelet?"

I looked at my empty wrist as well and then back to the house. "I gave it back. He accused me again of me and you sleeping together."

I told him about the message Bam left that day.

The one that got me so upset before everything went so wrong.

He was the only one in the hospital room at the moment and I felt that I could trust him with this. As you can see, Bam accused me of doing ridiculous things. I definitely didn't want to get Ape even more upset. She has enough to deal with as it is.

Novak laughed. "He's such a moron. Besides Lindsey would kill us."

I bumped sides with him and laughed softly feeling a little better. "Don't be so full of yourself."

Novak opened and closed the door for me and got in on the drivers side. We drove with the music playing and I just leaned my head on the cold window watching the winter wonderland pass me by. It was the end of February; it should all be melting soon.

"I'm just going to go lay down. Thanks Novak." I smiled softly and went up stairs to bed like I said.

"No problem sweetheart." Novak sighed and found Ape in the kitchen.

"What are you doing here?" She asked confused as she stirred something on the stove for dinner.

"She started to have another attack." Novak said blatantly. "I drove for her."

"What!?" Ape shrieked freaking out. "What the hell happened!? Is she okay?"

He nodded. "She's fine. Took her inhaler shit just in time. I guess she had an argument with Bam or something."

"What is his deal lately?" Ape sighed. She was having a hard time dealing with all this and was getting more and more fed up by the minute. She wanted this whole thing settled already once and for all.

Novak chuckled a little. "He thinks we're sleeping together."

"What?" Ape put down the spoon. "Where did he get an idea like that?"

Novak shrugged. "I haven't got a fucking clue."

"Of course you don't." Ape rolled her eyes. "So he doesn't know anything yet I'm assuming."

"Not a thing." Novak confirmed, much to her annoyance.