My Beloved Monster

005

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"She will definitely not be staying with you Bam!" Ape argued back for the billionth time.

"Of course she will; I'll show her a better time than you an Phil." Bam defended his case.

I sighed sick of getting jerked back and forth. "Really, Ape, I don't mind."

Something just clicked in her; I could see it in her face. "You know what Bam, you're right."

"Damn straight I'm right! Wait, what?" He asked confused figuring What's the catch?

I saw what she was getting at and scrambled off the floor. "Ape, I know exactly what you're thinking. And just because I'm staying here nothing will happen, especially that."

"Oh I know that." She smiled calmly.

"You do?" I find myself in the same predicament as Bam.

"Of course. I wouldn't force you to do something. But just so you know, Mothers are-"

"Always right, I know. " I finished for her. "Speaking of which. You got Chaz against me? Come on that's low. You could have gone to Wolf. But Chaz!"

"Well he didn't seem to mind." She smiled knowingly.

"Of course not! He's my man whore."

"Friends with benefits." she corrected me.

"Whatever." I grumbled. This was a lost cause at the moment.

"Hey! What are you two talking about?" Bam interrupted feeling left out.

"Nothing!" We both shouted at him.

"Alright, no need to bit my head off!" He shook his head and went back to wrestling with Bruno.

Ape and I started laughing. She wrapped me up in a hug. "Alright sweetie, Phil's been waiting for me. Call me for anything, okay?"

"Okay." I hugged back.

"Women!" Bam threw his hands in the air.

While Bam was dragged to walk Ape to the door the Raab creature came back. "So beautiful, where are you from in Germany?"

I raised an eyebrow, "Beyreuth."

"Don't they have some sort of Christmas festival?

"Yeah? But then again, who doesn't?

"Hey, I'm just trying to make small talk here." He raised his hands in defense.

"Fine." I sighed playing along with this game or whatever it was. "So you really like Germany huh?"

"Of course! They invented beer! And have the best there is out there!"

"Can't disagree with you there; you can't find better beer than in Germany." I grinned proud of my country.

"So you figure skate?" he asked next

"Ease dropping much?" I mused.

"Of course we were!" This guy jumped up from the stairs.

"Novak." He stuck his hand out for me to shake.

"Don't do it! You don't know where it's been!" Raab stopped me.

"Hmm. You know, I might have to trust the creature on this one." I smiled.

"Rejected!" Raab pointed and rolled over on his back laughing.

"Your loss." Novak shrugged.

"No. Actually, more like my gain." I replied causing Raab into another fit of laughter.

Novak flipped Raab off, which just caused him to laugh harder, as he walked away in search of Bam. What?! Now you're gonna tell on her?" Raab shouted. Novak kept walking and half waved.

"What's the worst he could do?" I shrugged.

"It's not him; it's Bam. I hate to admit this and I never said anything." I nodded to reassure him. "But those two together can be more deadly than Bam and Glomb."

I tilted my head in confusion "But, Bam already said he wasn't going to do anything to me."

"He did?" He asked still not believing me.

"Yup, because of this beauty." I stuck my leg out to let him get a better view of my ankle.

"Well maybe I should grow a pair of long legs and show them off too." He teased sticking a leg out too.

"Wouldn't hurt." I smirked

"That's not what you're supposed to say. You're supposed to say 'You have beautiful legs and a nice ass too.' "

"Am I missing something?" Bam asked with eyebrows raised walking back in the room.

"Yes, a pair of long legs and a sexy voice." I answered his question.

"Will you marry me?" Raab grabbed my hands in his.

"What?!" Both Bam and I asked.

"Dude. She comes from my favorite country, loves beer, turns down Novak, and is fucking drop dead gorgeous."

"You're pushing it now creature." I took my hands gently out of his and turned to Bam. "Can I use a shower? Plane rides aren't exactly refreshing."

"Yeah sure, go down this hall and it's the second door on the right, through the bedroom."

"Thanks." I grabbed a pair of clothes and my wash bag and went where he directed me.

"Dude! You definitely like her!" Raab chuckled.

"What?" Bam denied.

"You're letting her use your bathroom!" Raab threw his hands in the air.

"So? I've had a change of heart?" Bam shrugged. "I'm just trying to show some good hospitality. So Ape doesn't get on my case.

"I'll say. Hey!" Bam had punched him. "She would be the best girl you've ever had or ever will for that. And you have history together." Raab reasoned.

"Oh yeah," Bam rolled his eyes. "Diapers and sandboxes. Some history."

I finished rinsing the green apple shampoo and just stood there, allowing the water to wash over me. One thing I absolutely love about America is that you do not have a water bill, which means that I can take the longest shower I want!

After about another half hour, I reluctantly twisted the knob off and started to towel off. I stayed bare foot and got dressed in a t-shirt and some overalls.

I finished toweling my hair so it was at least damp. I brushed it and just twisted it into a braid. I collected my dirty clothes and went back into the big room where my luggage was, but Bam and Raab were no longer there.

My phone started ringing again. I glared at it lying on my bag, knowing who was on the other end.

"Your phone's ringing." A different guy pointed out to me.

Where are all these people coming from? "I know." I sighed and picked it up. "Guten Abend." I said with as much of a calm voice I could muster.

I put the phone down as Loring shouted a bunch of profanities that I rather not listen to. I went back to going through my luggage to find Chaz's gift. I found the pack of beer and opened one, not really caring that they weren't chilled. I took a nice sip and picked the phone back up.

"Look Loring, we need a vacation from each other. I am in the states. And no, I am not coming home. Especially when you are being moody. Oh and anther thing. This will be my last competition for a while; I am retiring. Do not call me back until you have stopped menopause."

I ended the phone call and threw my cell into my suitcase. I put my head in my hands and combed my fingers through my hair. I inhaled and released a shallow breath, praying that I would not cry.

"Hey, you okay?" the same guy asked me.

I let out another sigh and took another sip. "I will be." I held out my hand. "Adelina, kidnapped from staying with Ape."

"Brandon Dicamillo at your service m'lady. But please, call me Dico."

We started talking and getting to know each other, just sitting on the floor leaning against the couch we our feet propped of on my suitcase. Going through a couple of my beers as we did. Turns out we had the same birthday.

"Well then, November 15th is one of the better days of the year, huh?" I laughed, who would have thought, right? I passed my bottle over for him to have some.

"No, it's the best day of the year. And now we'll have to spend it together because we're just cool like that." he corrected me and passed the bottle back.

I just realized something so I brought my thumb and index fingers to my lips and whistled.

"You can't tell me that you're drunk all ready?" Dico asked because I just whistled.

"Of course not, what kind of German would I be if I could not hold my liquor." I joshed as Bruno stampeded in the room. "This is why I whistled; my baby Bruno. Um, where is the front door I need to walk him?"

"Man, you are a blond." he laughed.

"It's woman, and I am blond, not dumb."

"Oh really then, how can you go into a house without knowing where the door is?" He crossed his arms, smirking in anticipation for my answer.

"Because I was passed out when someone, RyanI think, carried me in." I said matter of factly and nodded my head.

"Oh yeah and that's so much better." He teased.