My Beloved Monster

Bam closed the day planer and set it aside. He didn't know if it had helped let him know what was going on with her body and the twins or if it had depressed him further to know that he was never there to experience any of it with her.

He looked at the several discs that contained the footage. And as much as he did not want to admit it, he did not want to watch them alone.

In fact, he would much rather watch them with Adel.

Bam got up and listened a bit to his parents' voices chattering away as they made dinner. He contemplated going in there and joining them, but he turned left out of the living room and shyly walked up the stairs.

He approached the only closed door right next to the stars assuming it was the room Adel was staying in.

He stared at the brass handle.

If he went in, he would be facing his fears right off the bat and begin this journey all over again.

Though, it still wasn't too late to turn around and go back downstairs.

He sighed knowing what he had to, what he wanted to do.

Taking a deep breath, he turned the doorknob down and pushed the door open. His breath caught in his throat seeing the silhouette of Adel. He quietly walked closer to the bed.

Bruno picked up his head hearing the door open and was thumping his tail against the bed excited to see Bam.

"At least you still like me." Bam scratched behind his ears and sighed. Bruno jumped off the bed and made his way out of the room. "So much for that thought." Bam rolled his eyes and looked over to Adel.

She was lying peacefully on her back with her blond hair cascading around her face on the plush pillow.

Bam felt so confused. He wanted to pick up like things had never ended with Adel, but he knew that they had several things to talk over when there wouldn't be any vases in her line of reach.

And he also felt confused because he felt like he should be mourning the loss of his relationship with Missy more. It was just yesterday that she ended things, but it seems like their whole relationship was just a comforting friendship in the end.

Bam carefully reach his hand out and caressed my face. He remembered how he would do this while I would sleep, especially on Saturdays when we would sleep in late.

Bam chewed his bottom lip debating whether or not to carry out his next move.

He carefully pulled down the comforter to my waist.

He got on the other side of the bed to sit next to me to get a better access. He froze when I hiccupped, but I just rolled on my side facing him.

Bam let out a soft sigh of relief and continued. He rolled up my shirt and placed his hands on either side of my belly.

He just had to touch it for himself.

It was just overwhelming to think that something he had helped create was growing inside me at this very moment. And two of them no less.

Bam rubbed his thumb in circles on the soft skin. He pulled his hand back in surprise as he felt a small ripple against his hand. That just blew his mind away that they were already moving around.

He stayed still as I moaned a little and placed a hand where his just was a second ago and where his baby just had kicked, though I didn't wake up.

Knowing this was a bold move, Bam made it anyway. Tucking some hair out of my face he laid down facing me. Just watching me breath with the occasional hiccup, which made him laugh softly.

"So it was all a big misunderstanding huh?" He whispered finally understanding what everyone was talking about.

"Let me go get Bam." Ape sighed getting up as Phil set the table. Walking into the dimly lit living room no one was there. She saw the planer and discs scattered on the floor, but there was no Bam.

"Phil!" She called out.

"What Ape!" He called back letting her know that he had heard her.

"Phil! You didn't hear Bam leave did you?"

"No!" He shouted and continued to set the table for three.

She sighed and crossed her arms trying to think if she had heard Bam leave either. But, there on the coffee table were his keys so that answered that question.

"Where did you go Bam?" Ape mumbled to herself.

She looked throughout the rest of the rooms to find them empty as well before finally ascending the stairs to her next best guess.

Ape saw the door opened and the two figures sleeping soundly together in the bed. She sighed hoping that everything would work out in the end.

Ape made her way to her son still in his shoes lying on top of the covers. She took off his sneakers much like she would when he was younger and tossed them on the floor. She grabbed the blanket off the chest under the window and draped it over Bam tucking him in.

She knew in her gut that everything would work out sooner or later. But, sooner would always be better.

Ape kissed Bam's forehead. "Don't worry too much." She reached over her son and moved some hair out of my face. "And as for you, don't play hard to get for too long." She smiled at the two sleeping peacefully. "Amara if you could just be here." She whispered to her old friend. Ape left as quietly as she came and shut the shut behind her.

"Did you find him?" Phil asked turning off the stove hearing Ape come into the kitchen.

"Yeah, they're both passed out upstairs." Ape put away the extra set of dishes that were laid out for Bam.

"Do either of them realized that?" Phil asked cautiously so he'd prepare himself beforehand for an early morning argument or some more vases to be vacuumed up.

"I figure to just let them find that out for themselves." Ape smirked not caring much about the consequences.

"I hope it's not too early." Phil mumbled.

"Please." Ape laughed. "You'll sleep through an earthquake."

"Still." Phil tried to defend himself as he blushed and smiled sheepishly.

I groaned hearing the alarm go off regretting that I offered to open Aschenputtel today. I reached over to smack the snooze button, but my hand never hit the alarm clock.

"Fuck woman why do you keep hitting me in the face." Bam complained sleepily.

I jumped startled and sat up. "What the hell?"

"Relax. I didn't mean to fall asleep here." Bam groaned and rubbed his eyes exhausted. He looked over at the alarm clock groaned again. "What the hell are you doing up so early?"

"What are you even doing in here?" I stuttered ignoring his question completely shocked by his presence. Surely he would have left after I had socked him good in the face.

Bam opened his eyes and looked up at me. "Do you hate me?" Ignoring my question as well.

I groaned and threw the covers off. "It's too early to be having this conversation."

Bam sat up and grabbed my arm before I could get and further than the edge of the bed. "It's a simple yes or no Adel."

I sighed giving in and sat back down fully on the bed. "As much as I want to hate you, I don't. I hate how everything happened."

Bam sighed in relief feeling the same way and ran a hand through his hair that had slowly been growing back. "Are you scared of me?"

"Yes. I mean no." I shook my head.

Bam sighed again. "You said yes first." He said softly.

"Bam of course I'm scared. I have been alone through this whole thing for six months. And now that you finally do know, I'm terrified." I admitted.

"Why?" He asked hurt.

"Because I'm afraid of what you'll do with this new knowledge." I looked at my hands not wanting to see the pain in his face any longer.

"You could have told me." Bam whispered.

I shook my head. "You know I couldn't have. Things would have turned out worse than they are now."

"You don't know that." He disagreed.

I put a hand on his shoulder. "Bam, remember I believe things happen for a reason. What's done is done and in the past. You can't change anything that has already happened just forget about the what ifs." Bam nodded. He forgot how insightful I always was. I got up and stood there awkwardly. "Do you mind? It's just I have to get ready."

Bam shoved his sneakers on and nodded. "No, yeah. I'll just wait downstairs."

He swallowed once he shut the door behind him and leaned on the wall. He remembered when neither of them cared if one were to strut around naked.

He knew things weren't going to be easy, but he didn't think that he'd have to start back at square one again.

Square one.

Bam smiled knowing what he could do and went downstairs with a newfound determination.

I sighed turning the taps getting the right temperature for a shower. "Well at least he didn't run." I mumbled to myself.

No Bam didn't run. In fact he did the opposite and stayed sleeping right next to me.

He stayed.

That had to be a good thing right?

So what do I want to do now? It's my turn to make a move.

I turned of the water and dried off. I knew what I wanted, but I was still scared. Things were just going way too fast.

But maybe fast was a good thing. There were, after all, only three and a half more months left to share this pregnancy with Bam.

I rummaged through the closet and dresser to get ready, finding some jeans and shirt to change into. I slid my feet into some cute brown heels.

I heard rummaging downstairs and Bam's voice as I found him on the phone. I took a seat on the stool opposite him and watched as he gathered things around the kitchen and finished up his conversation.

He looked up and smiled holding up his index finger signaling that he would be off in a moment.

Bam went through the cabinets. "Bagels, where the hell do you keep bagels Ape?" He mumbled to himself.

The cell phone went off on the counter and Bam picked it up automatically assuming it was his. "Hello?"

"Bam?" A confused voice came through the receiver.

"Hey Jussi, what's up man?" Bam smiled and finally found the bagels in the breadbox next to the toaster. Huh? Who would've guessed? Bam shook his head and laughed at himself.

"Nothing much? Are you sure I called you?" Jussi laughed slightly at his confusion.

"Why?" Bam mused. "Who were you expecting?"

"Adel actually." Jussi shrugged. "Just figured to see how she was. It's my turn to call."

Bam looked at the phone and laughed. "Huh, I guess since this is her cell, you would be right."

"I knew I couldn't be that delusional; it's too early." Jussi laughed. "So what are you doing with Adelina's phone?"

"I'm at Ape and Phil's." Bam sliced the bagels in half and put them in the toaster setting the timer. "So I'm guessing you were in on the whole Knob's thing too with everyone hiding Adel?"

Jussi paused contemplating his answer. "How did you find out?"

"You're gonna love this one." Bam searched through the fridge for tomatoes coming up short. Where the hell would the tomatoes be? "The other day Missy ended things with me. I guess she found out and decided to do the noble thing. I give her a lot of credit for that. And then last night Adel and me had this whole full blown out fight. It just got bad and we, mostly me, said some nasty shit."

"Tends to happen in those best moments." Jussi agreed.

"So I'm gonna be a dad huh?" Bam shook his head; it still sounded a bit weird to him. "But, I'm guessing you already know that too."

"That was how we met." Jussi smiled. "Chaz and her met up with Ville in a bar where we were hanging out. As Ville put it so eloquently, 'She's a little sensitive since Bam knocked her up,' when he explained why she couldn't drink."

Bam laughed finding the tomatoes hanging from the ceiling in a wire basket near the window and began to slice it. He shook his head at all the odd places he was finding everything. "Nice introduction."

"Ville thought so." Jussi laughed. "So how are you taking the news."

Bam sighed. "Shocked mostly. A bit upset that I wasn't there from the beginning. But, we'll see. We haven't really talked much. But, I know she doesn't hate me." He smiled when he saw me take a seat and gestured that he was almost done. He grabbed the lettuce and mayo from the fridge and put the bagels on some plates.

"That is always a positive." Jussi said optimistically.

"No, yeah, that never hurts." Bam laughed and began to make their breakfast. He spread the mayo and put the lettuce and tomato on top finishing their sandwiches.

There were several other voices in the background. "I have to get going, just let her know I'll try again later."

"Yeah, no problem." Bam hung up and set the cell phone aside.

"So who was that?" I asked nosily.

"Jussi, he'll call you later." Bam tossed the knife in the sink and shoved the mayo back in the fridge. I eyed the sandwiches and licked my lips hungrily as my stomach remembered its appetite. Bam chuckled softly at my face. He waved a plate in front of me teasingly and pulled back when I went to grab it. "Don't you remember?"

"Remember what?" I stopped trying to grab what I assumed was my breakfast and looked up at Bam's serious face.

"How we met?" His smile softened. "Well, again anyway."

I laughed. "Yeah, how could I forget? I had a huge fight with Loring about a routine before running away to your mom. And the first decent meal was stolen by Raab and then almost by you."

"You took it right out of my hand. I was afraid I was going to lose that too." He smirked at my blushing cheeks.

I grinned sheepishly. "Well, if you don't share right now you just might lose your hand this time."

He lowered it closer, but didn't set it down. "I want to at least be good friends Adel if that is all I can get from you. I don't want to rush into things, but I want to start again."

I shook my head and saw his face drop in disappointment. "We can't just start over Bam." I continued before he could interrupt me like he wanted to. "And we can't pick up where we left off. But, we can continue?"

Bam smiled relieved and nodded his head. "I'd love that." He set down the plate and took a seat next to me. "So speaking of Raab. Did he know about all this?"

I took a bit savoring the taste. It was even better since he had made it for me. I laughed at his question. "Raab can't keep a secret from you Bam even if he got something out of it."

He laughed. "But, Novak knew? And Novak's like my bitch."

"He was like my partner in crime." I grinned. "He was the one I first told about the twins because of this mental breakdown I had on him." I laughed remembering how he freaked out not knowing really what to do. "He was the one who stayed with me while we went to make sure flying didn't cause any damage."

Bam laughed. "You were the wife."