My Beloved Monster
056
"Are you sure you can handle Eman, while I'm out with Kelly?" I asked Bam again.
"For the hundredth fucking time Adel, I think I can handle it." Bam rolled his eyes and began to take the carrier out of my arms.
I held a worried expression and resisted smiling as I held onto the carrier preventing him from taking it. "See, I don't think that I can leave our baby with someone that has anger issues."
Bam threw his arms up in frustration. "Adel, I'm ready to-"
"To what?" I grinned taking a step closer challenging him to finish his sentence.
"Oh for the love of- You know, you are a pain in the ass." He took a step closer giving me a teasing smile.
We jumped when Eman started crying. I shoved the carrier in his arms. "Kelly's in the car waiting for me. Have fun!" I called over my shoulder making as much as a mad dash as I could for a pregnant woman.
A frazzled Bam hung out the door trying to put the key in the baby's back while still supporting the head. "This is so against the rules!"
"Who said I had to play by them?" I grinned and waved out the window as Kelly pulled out. I laughed and rolled the window up.
"So you think Eman will survive?" Kelley laughed looking at Bam though the rearview mirror.
I sighed and laughed softly. "I would love to say yes, but I won't hold my breath."
Kelly laughed knowing how true that was. "Well, don't worry. If you fail, it's because you're in love with a jackass, literally." She turned off the private road and onto a main road. Kelly said I needed a day to relax and finally get clothes that fit me right.
"Who said anything about love?" My voice came out shakily showing my fear of the subject.
She glanced over at me and sighed. "We're not going to play that game are we?"
"What game?" I crossed my arms stubbornly and looked out the window.
Kelley sighed again since I was going to make things difficult for her. "You know you feel something for him at least, otherwise why are you giving him another chance?"
"I-" I shut my mouth. She had me there. "It's just complicated."
"Hate to break it to you hun." She chuckled. "Love's never easy. There is a cliche for a reason. It's stressful and it takes a lot of work and commitment."
I laughed. "Then that's definitely what I have going by your definition."
She grinned over at me briefly before merging onto the highway. "So you admit it?"
I sighed. "You don't understand. I knew I loved him for a long time, but what he did. . .He really crushed me."
"I'll say." Kelley tried to keep the topic light hearted. "You flew to India."
"Yeah, and I never do that." I rolled my eyes. "My friends know that if I go to see Cody, my father, that something's up. But, I don't know what I feel now. I feel like I have to watch my back around him."
She smiled sympathetically at me. "He'll just have to prove you otherwise. And you know with Bam that he'll outdo himself to win you back especially. He loves ya."
I smiled shyly feeling slightly giddy thinking of that possibility. But, I sighed trying not to let my hopes get too high. "That would be nice."
"Believe me." She smiled and laughed softy. "He would talk about you a lot. Boasting to his friends how amazing you are on the ice of even on your roller blades. And then he would talk to Jess about the little things no one else would notice about you."
"Than why did he do what he did?" I asked a question that I used to lay awake at night thinking about. Even now knowing how everything was just a big misunderstanding on both parts, I still never understood why he did what he did.
"Well, you'll just have to ask him that one." She said as doing so were just that simple.
"Yeah, we'll see." I rolled my eyes not wanting to think about that conversation I would have to have with Bam.
Kelley decided to drop that subject for now and just have fun like they planned on. She pulled into an outlet. "Ready to finally just focus on you?"
I laughed. "I think I can manage that."
"Yo Dico, down here!" Bam shouted up the stairs.
Dico laughed when he saw the baby. "Have an affair with blow up doll?"
Bam rolled his eyes. "You wish. Anyway, feel like teaching me that game you and Adel made up in her Lamaze class?"
Dico grinned. "Most definitely."
"How about this shirt?" Kelly held up a maternity shirt against my chest.
"Why not." I grinned. It was a cute orange and white striped shirt. The cart was loaded with clothes for me to try on.
"Your like my personal life size Barbie." She laughed tossing in a skirt.
"Thanks for making me feel so loved." I rolled my eyes and laughed. "So what's next on the agenda?"
She shrugged and looked through another rack of clothing making sure she hadn't missed something. "I figured we could go get our nails done and get a massage. Then meet up with Ape to cut your hair."
I pulled my hair together and held it over my shoulder protectively. "What's wrong with my hair?"
Kelley laughed at me. "Nothing sweetie, except you're long overdue for a hair cut."
I looked at my split ends and nodded in agreement. "Fine." After changing into what felt like a billion different outfits, we finally made it to the check outline when Kelly gushed over a newborn dress.
"Have you brought anything yet for the babies?"
I shook my head. "First I'll have to set up the apartment over the cafe and I haven't had time to get any work up there done."
"Ape's not going to like the idea of you moving out on your own." She teased, but made a mental note to have Jess talk to his brother about it.
"I know." I laughed. "I'm afraid to mention anything to her."
"Yeah, Ape can definitely be a nag to get her way or at least make sure we stay out of trouble." Kelly mimicked Ape. I laughed and told Kelly about yesterday when she thought that we actually took someone's baby.
Kelly sighed in content as the woman massaged her feet as we got a pedicure. I giggled at her face, but matched her expression when mine began to be rubbed as well. "I love being pamper."
"Mmhmm." She nodded agreeing. "I remember when I was pregnant with Ava, I would totally used it to my advantage with Jess. It was hysterical with the slightest whimper he would jump startled to meet my needs. I swear if the actual deliver wasn't so painful I wouldn't mind being pregnant all year long."
I laughed and rubbed my own belly. "I could just picture Jess running around in a frenzy." She laughed and told me stories about the late night snacks and sex calls they would have. I couldn't help but be slightly jealous. I want to have midnight snacks and sex calls all hours of the day.
She noticed that I gad gotten quiet. "Adel what's wrong?"
I smiled and shook my head so she wouldn't worry. We were out to have a good time; I didn't want to ruin it. "I'm fine. Just enjoying myself."
She looked me over unsure with my answer, but nodded her head anyway. "If at anytime you want to leave, in mid-polish, or anything say the word and I'll bring you home."
There it was again, 'home.' I still have yet to learn where mine was. "Don't worry I'd let you know." I reassured Kelly smiling. Sometimes I wish that I just couldn't think at all that way I wouldn't have to worry over my worries.
"So how are you going to have Ape cut your hair?" She asked as the woman began to apply a topcoat to her manicure.
"Maybe just a trim." I shrugged. My hair was now reaching past my lower back and I had grown very attached to its length.
"Nonsense." She laughed at my suggestion. "You need to cut some of that baggage off. Think of how it's weighing you down; your head is going to fall off soon." I rolled my eyes at her. "Seriously, keep it long still, but cut a good chunk off."
Ape spun me around in the chair and smiled at our reflection in the large lit up mirror. "So you're going to let me do what I want?"
I sighed slightly nervous and winced. "Yeah, I trust you."
"Yeah," She scoffed. "That was so convincing." She parted my hair down the center and teased it a bit before putting it up so she see my hairline to make the deciding factor of its length.
My muscles clenched in nervousness when I heard Kelly squeal as Ape made the first cut. I felt my head get lighter as my hair fell to the floor. I didn't dare look down to see how much was taken off.
I opened my eyes when I heard the hairdryer turn on and was a little intimidated when it didn't take long for Ape to run her fingers through. "You can open your eyes when ever you're ready hun."
I laughed at myself still frightened of the outcome. I took a deep breath and slowly opened one eye. It was shorter. A lot shorter then what I was used to. I turned to the side and saw that my hair only reached to my shoulder blades. My jaw dropped when I noticed one important detail. I now had bangs. "I-uh. Wow."
I heard the women laugh at me. "Well, I think it brings out your blue eyes."
I nodded my head still slightly dumbfounded. "I need to get used to it, but I don't think it will be too hard to cope with the loss." I smiled and ran my hand through my hair. It wasn't so bad once you get past the initial shock.
"Well, glad you approve." Ape smiled pleased at her work and teased it a bit more with her fingers. "So what are you lovely ladies doing now?" She asked Kelley and I.
"Kelly is going to bring me to Bam's so I can get Eman." I yawned. "And I don't know about you two, but I plan on just vegetating and going to sleep early." They both laughed at me and commented about how pregnancy had always left them tired especially in the last two months.
Once Kelley entered the password, she pulled down Bam's driveway. "Are you sure you can't wait a few seconds?" I begged. I knew she was leaving me on purpose, but I thought I would ask once more none-the-less.
"Sorry babe, you know I would. Don't worry you'll live." She teased.
I grabbed my bags and sighed as I heard the car fade away. I went through the front door and left my shopping bags hoping that they would still be there and in once piece when I got back.
I was about to call out for Bam when I heard his voice. "Heads up!"
I jumped slightly and gasped in horror when a baby head rolled towards my feet. My jaw shook as I picked up the doll's head.
I carefully maneuvered my way down to the Pirate Bar avoiding various things along the way.
There Bam and Dico were messing around with Novak and a cannon, a slingshot, and a catapult with a few doll parts amputated scattered around.
"Please." I took a deep breath. "Please don't tell me that you killed him."
The three of them jumped startled at my voice. They all wore guilty looks like they have been caught with their hand in the cookie jar. "Hey Adel didn't here you come in." Novak smiled.
I raised my hand silencing him from saying anything further and shook my head. "Please just tell me."
"Well," Bam began.
"He wanted me to show him our game that we made up." Dico finished grinning proudly.
"Bam, I thought you said you were going to help me." I looked at him betrayed.
"Adel." He laughed. A few tears slipped down my cheeks, I didn't want to be known as a bad parent to my twins. I wanted to be the best mother there is. And I can't even take care of a doll. I shook my head and went back upstairs.
"Adel!" Bam chased after me. He grabbed me at the top of the stairs and turned me around. "Hey! Wait a minute."
"Bam, I didn't want to fail." I said hopelessly, avoiding eye contact.
"Adel," he chuckled. "Just listen to me for a sec. Come here." He pulled me into his room. "Look."
There on the bed was the baby doll, quiet in the carrier. I sat on the bed next to it. "You mean you didn't blow him up?"
"Of course not. You know how much I want to prove that old hag wrong." He chuckled. "Did you really think I would do that to ya?"
"I had my doubts." I sighed in relief and wiped the tears from my eyes. I laughed, "When you see a decapitated head rolling your way it's kind of hard not to jump to conclusions."
He came over and sat next to me. "But, fuck, I'm not going to lie to you, that thing didn't shut up. You have to promise that you won't ever leave me alone with Eman again."
I shrugged and sent him a teasing smile. "I'll try."