My Beloved Monster

I rolled my eyes and laughed. "Bam just bring Milo over here."

"No!" He said stubbornly. The nurse came in a few hours ago to show me yet again how to wrap the blanket and change the diaper before we signed the twins and myself out of the hospital. I already knew how to, but Bam on the other hand. . . well let's just say that he needed a little more practice.

"Here, let me give you a hand Bam." Knoxville chuckled.

Bam pushed him back to clear the space around him. "No, I've got it all under control."

Jussi sat next to me on the hospital bed holding Milla laughing at Bam's state. I leaned over and whispered, "Do you think I should tell Bam that he will get peed on if he doesn't keep him covered?"

"Fucking hell!" Bam swore and Knoxville and the other guys cracked up as Bam wiped his mouth with his shirt.

"I think it's too late." He snickered and rocked Milla into a sleepy state. I giggled and agreed.

"Bam just give him to Adel." Ape rolled her eyes as her son complained. "And be happy that urine is sterile."

Bam carefully lifted our son and laid him between my legs. "Fine, it you think you are so good, you change him."

I smirked and grabbed the clean diaper out of his hands and the wipe. No wonder why it wouldn't work; the idiot kept trying to put it on backwards. After a few seconds, I had my baby back in his onezy and wrapped in his blanket. "There."

"You suck." He pouted and sat behind me kissing my neck.

"No, I just rock better than you do." I smiled smugly.

He gently squeezed my sides teasingly. "Yeah, right. You wish sweetheart."

"At least I know how to take care of our own kids." I said smugly.

"That's just because it's in your genetic code or something." Bam rolled his eyes and froze as all the women in the room became silent. Bam swallowed and cringed as they all took a good swing at him. He pouted at me and rubbed his arm where everyone slapped his arm.

"You should have known that you'd get hurt saying that." I laughed and turned my attention to Milo cooing at him. "Isn't papa such a dork?"

"What outfits are you going to dress them in?" Lindsey smiled excited that we got to leave today finally.

I shrugged. "Maybe I just leave them in their onzey's."

"You can't do that." Ape frowned. "They need to have their first outfit."

"Adel, put them in some of the cute clothes you got. Here, we choose them for you." Marie grinned excited and got into a conversation with Ape and Lindsey over which ones were the cutest as they went through a bag.

"Is it just me or aren't the twins our children." Bam whispered in my ear.

I smiled at how he was on the same level as I and leaned into him. "No, I thought so too."

"Good." He chuckled.

I looked over at Jussi. He smiled and winked at me. "Have you found your home yet?" He spoke to me in Finnish.

I smiled softly replying in his native tongue. "Soon, I hope."

"Hey, hey! What are you two talking about?" Bam asked feeling left out.

"Nothing of your concern." I smiled cheekily up at him.

Bam held me tighter and smiled against my skin on the nape of my neck. "Yeah, I'm sure." He brushed his lips against my skin and kissed me softly.

I looked at Milo and picked him up cradling him in my arms. I looked to my side to see Milla in Jussi's arms. How silly is it that I am afraid that any moment I will wake up from a beautiful dream?

But, it's true. I'm afraid that I'll wake up and it will be when I sprained my ankle and be arguing with Loring right before I came back to West Chester. Most importantly, meaning that none of this ever took place.

But, the pain of giving birth was definitely real.

And the overwhelming feeling of love is definitely real.

I smiled and kissed Milo's forehead. I turned my head slightly to face Bam leaning on my shoulder so our noses were touching. "I love you."

Bam never felt so complete than having his friends and family and newborn son and daughter and hearing those three meaningful words spill out of the mouth of the woman that made him feel more alive than and prank or stunt. He closed his eyes and nuzzled his nose against mine. "I love you."

That touching moment had ended and utter chaos was all I felt as everyone tried to get ready to leave the hospital. I was getting a major head ache from everyone talking at once. I told Bam that I was going to change and he better keep an eye on the twins. Especially since Ape, Marie, and Lindsey finally had decided on outfits for them.

I pulled on a peach baby-t and a pair of black capris. I pulled off the hospital socks and slipped on some comfortable shoes.

I rolled my eyes at the outfits that Ape and Lindsey insisted that Milo and Milla wear, but they did look adorable even though Steve-o and Knoxville were complaining about them.

Bam saw me standing in the bathroom doorway. He smiled and handed Milla back to Jussi. I smiled watching him walk over towards me, unnoticed by everyone in the room. He grinned as he slid his hands down my sides and rested on my hip.

I grinned walking backwards as he led me back into the bathroom locking the door behind him. "I thought I'd never get you alone." He whispered and kissed me passionately. I wrapped my arms around him and enjoyed the kiss and brief moment of just the two of us.

"And to think, this is just going to continue when we leave the hospital." I sighed tired. "I kind of just want it to be the four of us."

Bam held be close and kissed my jaw. "I know, but you and I both know that that's not gonna happen for a while."

And he was right; it didn't.

With half of the guys from Jackass staying with us and the other half at a hotel or at Dunn's house, but with the amount of time they were here, they might as well be here too.

Jussi, Chaz, Wolf and Marie left a few weeks ago. They stayed the rest of the week and half of the next, but had to go back home, leaving with promises to see each other soon. Ape, Kelly, and Lindsey are always over helping me, which I am grateful for.

But, I just want it to be quiet. Or even semi quiet for that matter. Between the babies crying and their feedings and the guys' rough housing it down stairs, I have not gotten a wink of sleep.

I didn't mind everyone being here, I enjoy their company, well most of the time. The one thing that I hated that they did and was extremely grossed out by was this 'Frisbee' game they did for a skit, and I use the name loosely.

What I didn't know that when we left the hospital, they asked to take the placentas, which I refused to even look at when I was in the hospital because I find them extremely gross to begin with.

And then on top of that, they tell me to come watch them from on the deck to see this game they made up. If you haven't guessed by now, they tried to use the placentas for a Frisbee. I was so livid with them for the next few days, especially since I got sick because I was so disgusted by the whole ordeal.

And I absolutely refused to let them to use the footage anything remotely related for the Jackass2 movie. Whether they listen to me or not in the end will be a different story.

I cringed and was about to literally cry when the sheet was pulled off me. I finally dozed off and it was actually quiet in the house. "Bam, please just leave me alone."

"How did you know it was me?" He whispered and kissed my shoulder and across my back.

"Bam." I groaned and pulled the pillow over my head. I cried out in frustration when he lifted me in his arms and carried me away from the nice comfy relaxing bed. I was way too tired to kick and scream my way out of his arms and just let him carry me to wherever.

"Trust me Adel, you need this just as much as I do, but definitely more." He kissed my temple and laughed softly when he saw that I still kept my eyes closed. "Here, stand up." He carefully began to lower me down.

I did as he told me to and stood up on the cold tile floor leaning against him for support. "Bam." I whined as he began to undress me.

"I know, I know." He rolled his eyes about the stupid no sex right after birth rule. Only four days, six hours, and 23 minutes to go before he could throw me on our bed and have his way with me to make up for lost time. He took my head in his hands and tucked my grown out bangs behind my ears and kissed my forehead. "This is just to relax." He tugged on my hands.

I finally opened my eyes and smiled looking around the bathroom. The lights were turned off leaving the room dark with the exception of lilac scented candles lit everywhere making the room smell beautiful with a sensual glow. And he even drew a bath with rose petals in it and foaming bubbles practically flowing over the edge. "Come on. Before it gets cold." He pulled me towards the tub.

It reminded me of the one in India, the old fashion lion clawed style, but was much bigger and the water stayed warmer longer since it was a modern model. "You did all this for me?" I eased into the steaming water onto Bam's lap and rested against his chest in between his legs.

"Of course." He wrapped his arms gently around my waist and pulled me closer. "I saw how warn out you were getting Adel."

I sat up feeling so irresponsible and practically panicked when I saw the baby monitor on the counter was off. "What about the babies!?"

Bam chuckled. "Relax, it has all been taken care of." He waved his hand around lazily and laid back down along the back of the basin.

I glared at him. "More specifically: how?"

"Ape and Phil wanted to play with their new grandkids tonight." He sat up and kissed me hard on the lips so I couldn't protest, like he knew I mostly likely would.

"Thank you." I sighed feeling in heaven in the warm bubble bath. I moaned as he started to massage all my tense muscles to relax once more. He grinned as I relaxed and began to wash me as well on top of it all. I just laid there limp in his arms welcoming the intimacy. Bam didn't want anything in return as he chucked the lufa to the side and just held me in his arms once more.

"Bam?" I asked softly interrupting the peaceful silence.

"Yeah." He replied just as softly.

"Are you guys done filming?"

He shrugged. "We have one or two more for the premier release, but we'll have the camera crew until mid-November, why?"

I knew that meant that Bam would be leaving soon, which thoroughly upset me. "When do you guys go to LA?"

"Adel." He whispered and kissed my cheek. "Let's not talk about it now."

"Bam." I sighed. "Just tell me."

"Third week in August." He sighed not wanting to depress me over the details. "To edit it and then in the beginning of September we'll do the interviews. I'm on Leno, Jimmy Kimmel, and Daily. Then, Knoxville has Letterman and Conan." He cringed feeling horrible when he felt me tense up.

"Why didn't you take New York?" I swallowed feeling myself getting upset even more so.

"It's just the way it worked out with the connections." He rubbed my arms trying to calm me. "Aren't you going to come with the twins though?"

"I don't know if that's such a good idea Bam." I trailed off thinking of all the horrible scenarios of what could happen to Milo and Milla if we were to go with him.

"Ape and Phil will be there if that's any consolation." He didn't like that I stayed silent, wanting me to really come with him. "How about we talk about it when the date comes closer and we just relax for now."

I nodded and leaned back against his chest. We both groaned annoyed at the knock on the door. "Someone's hungry." Ape smiled holding Milo not caring that we were naked in the tub. "He wouldn't take the bottle even though it's the same stuff."

"He's just a boob man." Bam grinned proudly.

"Where's Milla?" I asked taking the onezy and diaper off Milo and slowly lowering him into the warm water quieting his cries when he heard my voice.

"Sleeping." Ape laughed because Milla was always sleeping. "Milo's just the mamma's boy like his daddy." She smiled at us and Bam rolled his eyes as she shut the door quietly behind her.

I smiled looking at my son. He looked up at me with his big blue eyes like his father's and sucked on his thumb. "Hallo my baby. Du hast der Hunger? Hmm?"

"Eman always has der Hunger." Bam laughed using Milo's middle/nick name and wet his head gently.

Milo jumped startled by the water, but didn't cry. I smiled and lowered him to my breast, which he took immediately. My nose wrinkled still finding that feeling funny. Bam rubbed my sides and watched Milo be fed. "You look so sexy doing that." He bit me softly on my shoulder.

I smirked at how deprived Bam was acting, even though I could hardly wait for the six weeks to be up either. "How much longer?"

"Four days, four hours, and 57 minutes." He chuckled. "In case your wondering."

I held Milo over my shoulder to burp him and smiled hearing Bam make funny sounds and probably funny faces to entertain him. "You are such a dork."

"Yeah, but you're stuck with me." Bam took Milo from my arms after he burped.

"Says who?" I mused leaning back on the opposite side of the tub and watched as Bam played with our son dunking him in the water gently.

He scoffed. "Says me. Like I've told you before, I'm never letting you go Adel." I bit my lip grinning loving it when he tells me that almost as much as when he tells me that he loves me.

Ape came back holding a screaming Milla. "Your turn." She kissed my head before making her escape quickly.

"Milla, Milla." I cooed and rocked her. I undressed her as well and slowly lowered her into the water as she screamed.

Bam laughed, "Who has the good twin now?"

"Oh, screw you." I laughed and rocked Milla rubbing her back.

"Four days, four hours, and 26 minutes you will." He replied smugly.

Slowly her screams quieted down to whimpers until she no longer fussed. I held her away to see her and smiled. "You just didn't want to be left out."

"So much for getting away." Bam rolled his eyes draining cold water in the tub standing up and wrapping Milo in fluffy towel.

I stood up following in suit wrapping a towel around Milla before wrapping one around my body as well. "I don't know; I enjoyed that even with Milo and Milla joining us." I walked easily into the room. I smirked at how I made Bam and them clean it before I came back from the hospital. Well, they hired a maid, but at least they got the job done.

I dressed Milla in a fresh diaper and a warm cotton outfit even though it was probably almost 80 degrees outside. She yawned and stretched as she began to go back to sleep, which meant that she would be up in four hours for another feeding. I gently rocked her before lowering her into the bassinette.

I sat on the end of the bed in the towel not making any more to get dressed and watched as Bam took care of getting Milo ready. He looked up at me when I laughed. "Hey now, none of that making fun of me shit. I know what I'm doing now." He rolled his eyes and mumbled under his breath, "Now that I know which way the damn diaper goes."

I rolled on my back laughing at Bam as he laid Milo next to his sister in the bassinette. He stalked slowly over to me and glared as he place a hand on either side of me. I quieted down and smiled look up in his eyes. "Do want to know something?"

"What?" He continued to look down into my blue eyes intently.

I smiled to myself. "I was looking for something I had lost when we weren't together."

Bam looked at me confused. "What were you looking for?"

"Home." I whispered.

Bam smiled softly. "Have you found it?" I smiled and nodded. "Good." He leaned down and kissed me tenderly.

Bam plopped under the covers and pulled me up to his chest holding me close. "What are the plans for you guys tomorrow?" I covered my mouth as a yawn slipped out.

He sighed tired as well. "We might try to finish filming some shit, but I'm not sure. What about you?"

I shrugged and curled up to him falling asleep immediately. I clutched my heart as I woke up to Milla's cry. Every time I would hear them cry, I swear my heart stops with worry.

I noticed Bam's side of the bed was empty. I picked Milla up and began to rock her back and forth as I nursed her. Milo was still sleeping soundly.

I smiled when I noticed the big 'I love you' was written on the mirror with shaving cream.

After I burped Mila I changed her and her brother into a new outfit for the day before getting dressed myself.

I put them each into their car seats and carried them out to the hummer, which I had temporarily claimed as my car. I looked over my shoulder checking to make sure Milo and Milla were both alright before heading off to my destination.

I smiled setting their carriers on the soft grass before taking a seat next to them. The willow tree branches blew with the hot summer breeze tickling the tombstone. "Hey mom, you're an Oma now, I would like you to meet your first grandchildren Milo Emanuel and Milla Constance." I sat there for a little while longer telling her about the delivery and the news about the engagement and other things that I could think of.

Bam looked at the clock on the dashboard on the car. It was funny how he rushed home to see his own family. Just the thought that he had someone to refer to like that made him smile.

"Thinking about your girl." Knoxville noticed the dopey look on his friends face. Bam glared at him, but couldn't object because it was the truth. "How's the countdown going?"

Bam laughed, everyone was teasing him about how he was keeping tract of when he could finally have me again. "Not fast enough." Bam went threw the back door and called out for me. Johnny went to the room he was bunking in while Bam checked our room. He petted Bruno who was taking up the bed with Misfit and Trouble. He smiled noticing the 'too' I had added to his 'I love you' message with lipstick.

He dialed up my cell phone only to get the answering machine right away meaning my phone was turned off. And after calling up Ape to find out that I wasn't there either, he wasn't going to sit around the house and wait. "Yo Knoxville, we're going on a mission to find Adel and the twins."

Johnny smirked. "Can't seemed to hold onto her huh man?" When he saw the forced smile on Bam's face he decided not to say another wisecrack. "I'll let the guys know." He followed Bam back out to the car

I laughed softly watching the twins look at any sudden movement. I could just lay there and watch them for hours, finding it fascinating how everyday there were new changes I noticed about them, especially how they have been becoming more and more alert by the day.

I pulled out of the cemetery to stop by at the grocery store to pick up a few things. I slid Milo in the sling resting his head on my chest and left Milla in her car seat and strapped it on the wagon. They were both sucking their thumb content as I pushed them down the isles throwing some stuff that I felt we needed into the cart.

I couldn't go three feet without someone stopping me and cooing at the babies telling me how beautiful they are. I smiled proudly at them and accepted their comments.

"I totally won this dude; she's right here." I heard a familiar raspy voice.

I rolled my eyes. "Steve-o."

"Hey babe." Chris wrapped an arm around my shoulder and played with Milo's tiny hand.

"Does Bam have everyone looking for me again?" I laughed at how easily worried Bam can get sometimes.

"It's because he's blinded by love." Chris sighed before cracking up.

"He says that you so owe him." Steve-o grinned shoving his phone in his right pocket.

The guys carried the groceries in for me while I brought in the twins and set them in their seats on the counter. "How many times are you going to scare me like that leaving your phone off?" Bam wrapped his arms around me from behind and rested his head on my shoulder.

"You get so worried easily." I laughed. "But, I'll remember next time to turn it on just for you."

He kissed my neck and chewed on my ear lobe sending shivers down my spine. "You better."

As soon as Bam's countdown was over he brought the twins over to his parents' house and locked us in our room for the whole day not caring if they guys were downstairs.

And during that time, Bam got me to promise to come with him to LA using some very persuading ways. So now with my two-month-old babies, we were on the private jet going across the country where I would go to the hotel and they would go to wherever it is that they have to go for editing the movie.

Why I had to come now when he's at his busiest, I have no idea since Bam isn't going to be back until the wee hours of the morning only to leave again leaving me alone with Milo and Milla, which I could have done back home.

I still smile automatically thinking about Bam's house as my home. That was so important for me to have especially after my mom passed away I really had felt lost even when I was on the ice. And to think I finally found it along with having two new additions in my life just baffled me.

I had the pillows around me as a barrier and just let the twins sleep the flight off next to me in the bed. Milla, however, had other plans, wanting to keep me up cooing to herself and playing with her feet and I couldn't go to sleep knowing one of them were awake.

We all finally passed out a quarter past three in the morning when I felt sloppy wet kisses on my back. "Bam," I groaned. "If you're drunk, go play with your buddies."

"You're no fun." He pouted and kicked off his shoes and dropped his jacket and shirt on the floor before slipping behind me and holding me close. "They are so beautiful." He whispered amazed stroking their tiny arms.

I smiled and he held me tighter and nuzzled his head in my hair. I fell asleep feeling safe with his arms wrapped securely wrapped around me.

We fell into this routine over the next few weeks. I would go site seeing with Ape and Phil and the babies if it wasn't too hot out for them. Bam would come to the hotel late and spoon with me or we'd have a rump in the sheets.

It wasn't so bad after all. I was happy actually that I got to spend some time with Bam, even if it was very little, than no time at all with him.

After the editing and a few promotion recordings and interviews, half of us stayed here in LA, and the other half went with Knoxville to New York.

The first television interview for Bam was on the Late Night Show with Jay Leno. Ape and Phil opted for sitting out in the crowd and I followed Bam to the green room back stage with the babies.

Bam played with Milla while we waited for all the lighting and sound checks to be finished as well as some skits that had to be practiced as well.

I jumped startled by the knock on the door and a muffled voice that came from behind it. "Everyone decent?"

Bam laughed, "Come in."

Jay Leno came over and shook Bam's and mine hand. "I just wanted to introduce myself and meet the lovely lady that Bam kept talking about the other day."

I smiled and blushed shifting Milo to a more comfortable position. "Adel, nice to meet you."

"Bam never told me that you have a thick accent." He chuckled.

Bam laughed, "It's cause I don't notice it anymore."

"And these are the two new monsters?" He smiled at Milo and Milla. "Well Adel, for your sake I hope that they're nothing like Bam."

"Nah, that would be a disappointment." I smiled.

"Of course it would." Bam grinned. "They are going to be just like me."

During the interview they talked about the upcoming Jackass2 movie and talked about some other projects Bam had going on the side. As well as talking to Ape and Phil briefly in the audience teasing Bam slightly at how he brought his parents everywhere with him. But, Bam just shrugged it off and took it like a man not caring if others thought it was lame. He was proud to have his family in his life and didn't care if someone said otherwise.

"Well, I had the pleasure meeting your two kids and fianc earlier backstage." I watched the television in the green room as he brought up a picture of Bam and I together with the twins. I laughed and blushed when I heard the audience cooing at how adorable we looked together.

"Yeah, they are something else." Bam smiled proudly puffing out his chest slightly. I smiled at how Bam fidgeted slightly playing with his beanie or hair. He would always put on this macho act in front of cameras, but something about interviews would always make him nervous and shyer than normal.

"Well she has to be if she puts up with all the stuff you do." Leno had the audience laughing at that comment.

Bam smirked. "Yeah, but don't let her fool you, she gets in there just as much as us and has a few good ideas herself so she's not as innocent as she looks."

"She's a gold medalist in previous Olympics isn't she?" He asked Bam impressed.

Bam licked his lips and nodded. "Yeah, for Germany. She's just amazing."

"And you two are engaged right?" Leno played with the blue index cards in his hands. "How's that going for you?"

Bam grinned. "Yeah. No, it's going great and she loves that shiny rock on her hand."

Leno laughed, "So have you set a date yet?"

"Um, not exactly, but we know we want it in the spring so maybe next May." Bam said as best he knew without giving away to many details.

We had been talking about it this week and we're pretty sure that we want the date to actually be June 18th, but that is a while away so we have plenty of time to figure all that out.

They showed an appropriate skit from the movie that could be shown on national television, which was hard to find. Bam did his skateboarding act after the other interview with Betty White and went down the tall narrow ramp into the fiberglass to see if she would blink as he slammed into it.

I smiled at Bam's red cheeks blushing from the excitement and sharing some personal stuff in our life. "Hey, you did good out there." I stood up wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Of course I did." He smirked and kissed me longingly. He pulled back and rested his forehead against mine. "And you know what?" He asked quietly.

"What?" I whispered back.

"All I wanted was to come back and hold you." He bit his lip slightly. "That sounded too sappy."

I shook my head disagreeing with him. "That sounded perfect."

"I love you." He grinned crushing his lips on mine.