The Story Left Untold

I broke down in tears as soon as the words fell from my mouth. Cassadee got down beside me and tried to shush me but my hormones were on overdrive and kept the tears pouring from my eyes.

“What am I gonna tell him?” I said as I sniffled and wiped away stray tears from my eyes. “He and I never talked about babies or starting a family! Who knows when we’ll have another blowout due to something stupid? I am so screwed, Cassadee.”

“Hey, I want none of that. Jack will father that baby whether he wants to or not—”

“I can’t force him to do something he doesn’t wanna do. I don’t want to be the one who holds him back,” I said sullenly as I placed a hand on my stomach, wondering how long I’ve been pregnant.

Cassadee seemed to be out of words. I swallowed hard before getting up. I had to plan things out for myself. I couldn’t wait around for things to happen.

“When are you telling him?” Cassadee asked, watching me intently.

“I don’t think I will.”

I refused to keep eye contact with her for fear that she might try to make me feel guilty and force me to tell Jack everything. However, she didn’t say a word. She just shook her head and gave me a small smile, leaving me to figure things out for myself.

“Oh, and don’t tell anyone,” I told her.

She gave out a small laugh before heading out the bus.

I bit my lip as I grabbed tissue paper and wrapped the stick in it. I placed inside my pocket and washed my hands with soap so that I could feel clean again. But somehow, clean was the last thing I could feel right now. I knew I was in deep shit and that I couldn’t get out of it no matter how hard I tried and yet, I stepped off Hey Monday’s bus with the best pokerface I could put on and tried to show the world that nothing was wrong with me.

I was on the verge of wanting to pack up and leave but if I did, I wouldn’t exactly be able to get anywhere far since Jack was headed home tomorrow too. He knows all my hiding places and I couldn’t bear another day without him even if I tried. But just as I cleared my head and turned a corner, I saw Cassadee and Jack talking privately outside the All Time Low merch tent. This caught my attention. It got even worse when Jack looked straight at me with broken expressions as soon as Cassadee whispered things into his ear.

I couldn’t breathe. Everything around me silenced and the only begrudging noise I heard was the sound of his footsteps as he walked over to me. Tears managed to spring out of my eyes before he was a step away from me.

“Jack, I’m so sorry,” I said in a harsh whisper as uneasy feelings wrapped my emotions in a box and stowed them away on its own island.

“For being sick? Why would you apologize for something like that? If you think that being sick will hinder me from kissing you, you’re dead wrong.” He leaned down and planted a big kiss on my lips but I hardly responded. It was as if I froze in time.

I looked at him with this weird expression that even I couldn’t comprehend but all Jack did was pull me into a hug. I breathed out harshly before I wrapped my arms around him tightly.

It hasn’t been an hour and the guilt has already circulated around my body at least a thousand times.

After the show that night, we were all headed home. Alex and Rian got sent home first. Zack took a flight back to LA with Matt and Evan so it was just Jack and I on the bus. Cassadee had texted me twice about telling him the truth. I might have exploded a little via text as I replied to her first message but I knew that she was right. I had to tell Jack the truth but I couldn’t find the right time – yet.

It wasn’t until the bus stopped right in front of Jack’s house that my heart started to beat really fast. I masked my nervousness with a smile and walked off the bus carrying all my stuff.

I went over to my house first to see if anyone was home but there were no cars in the garage. I grabbed the extra key set hidden inside a jar right beside the door and shrieked a little when I felt cobwebs touch my skin. I looked to the side and saw that Jack was looking at me from his porch with longing eyes. I sighed as I grabbed the key from below the jar and opened the door.

The whole place was pretty much covered in dust which meant that no one had been here for a while. I switched on the lights and saw that there was a note for me on the kitchen counter. Man, was this getting all too familiar. I unfolded the note and read its contents:

Dearest Brittany,

Your grandmother has been really sick for a while now and needs daily supervision. If ever you come home and don’t find either me or Stephen, just know that we’re here in Arizona and that you’re welcome to come here anytime. One visit would probably suffice.

I left cash in your room just in case you’re short on anything.

I love you.

Love,
Mom

I stumbled back a bit as I felt nauseous once again. I ran upstairs into my room and blasted in the toilet. I really was not up to the whole routine of having to wake up in the middle of the night to throw up or whatever. My head pounded as I hurled and I swear, nothing in life ever hurt as bad as this, ever.

I flushed the toilet and rinsed my mouth with some mouthwash that I had. I really had to tell Jack. I told myself that no matter what happens, I will take it as it is. If he decides that he doesn’t want to father this child, I will swallow hard and carry on. It’s my fault we’re in this situation anyway. I’m the one with the ovaries.

I walked down the stairs and turned all the lights off. I locked the door and placed the key back inside the jar. My bags were already in Jack’s house for some reason. I guess he must’ve perceived that I was staying over.

I sucked in a huge breath and walked over to his porch. I knocked once but it was as if he knew I was coming. The door opened and without another second wasted, I told him what he needed to know.

“Jack, I’m pregnant.”

My confidence shattered after I blurted the words out. I swear if he asked me to repeat what I had just said, I would’ve smacked him right across the face. But he didn’t say anything. Instead, he looked at me with mixed emotions and stared for a really long time. I was getting really tired of being stared at so as soon as I counted to five, I started to back away from the door – slowly.

“Brit, wait,” he told me, grabbing my wrist to make sure that I’d stay in place. “You can’t just land that type of bomb on me and expect me to react right away.”

I stayed silent as I watched him process it all. By now, he should’ve learned that I was never really a patient person. I didn’t like to wait. When I wanted something, I wanted it as soon as I could have it. He was making me wait and I don’t know what changed but for some reason, I was okay with that.

I was about to say something to start the conversation but he placed a finger to my lips to keep my mouth closed. At this point, I was downright confused. I wasn’t sure how he was gonna take this but I also didn’t want to know. I was afraid that his reaction might not be the one that I want to see.

“I know this might sound crazy and far-fetched but I’m ready to face the challenges and take this responsibility to heart. This is my baby and I want his or her life to be a happy one. I can’t leave my baby in a broken family. Brittany, I love you and as soon as you’re ready and sure, I want to marry you. So can I please take this opportunity to ask your hand in marriage?” His hand slid down from my wrist to my fingers as he got down to his knees.

For a minute, I thought that this was all a dream but I pinched myself and realized that it wasn’t. I looked into his glimmering brown eyes and smiled wholeheartedly. This was nothing compared to what I’d expected. It exceeded my expectations.

I thought that maybe we were going too fast. I didn’t want to tell him that I needed to think about it because no matter what I thought, there would only be one answer and that’s a big fat YES.

So without further ado, I said the next two words with a big smile hoping that I’d made the right decision.

“I do.”