The Story Left Untold

[BRITTANY]

I ran as fast as I could. I didn’t really have a clear place in mind but I just had to run away. I can’t believe he thought we were fine. He kissed me as if nothing in the past happened. He kissed me as if he had the right to. He kissed me as if we were still together. But we weren’t and we never will be ever again. The whole time I was trying to escape the chances of meeting him were useless. I mean I should be a little realistic here. I’m in a big city and he’s in a big band and they’re bound to have a show somewhere in the same state but I just couldn’t let myself believe that they’d be playing in a college. To be more specific, I didn’t think they’d play at NYU on the same evening I decided to go out and party.

Was it a mere coincidence or was it fate telling me that we were bound to jump in the same circle we were about a year ago? I mean I never really believed in fate and I don’t know why I thought about this situation could possibly be an example of it but then again right now, my mind’s closed up. It’s shut tight to the possibility of anything positive that can come out of a circumstance that might include Jack in it. I mean it’s practically in his nature to screw things up because of his name since he basically lives up to it but this is probably just the negative aura that’s speaking and not the real me.

Where could the real me possibly be? Is it possible that instead of trying to lock up the memories I had with Jack inside a box in my head, I kept away anything positive that tends to bounce around whenever I’m with him? Is this why I’m such a total wreck? Is this why I can’t find a way to move on? I mean now that I think about it, it seems totally logical.

But who am I kidding? I can never forget the way his lips taste and the way he makes me smile. I can never forget the sound of his voice and how the words that he speaks and the way they send chills down my spine. I can never forget all the times he traced a portion of skin gently and made sure that I stayed happy. It all seemed so real but I guess it was just part of a story that was better to be left untold than to be revealed.

I finally stopped running when I reached my dorm building. I wasn’t planning to go back to the party. I probably looked horrible after crying harshly as I ran down the street. I was out of breath but I couldn’t let the stairs stop me. I was this close to my private sanctum to escape all the chances of bumping into someone that would try to talk to me but I had to catch my breath. I was close to blacking out but I had to stay awake. I didn’t want to cause a scene in the morning. I was even lucky that no one was awake to see me so dreadful. Mascara probably streamed down my cheek by now.

After taking a few more deep breaths, I was about to hit the stairs when suddenly, I heard a car park near the entrance and the door swing open wide. I wanted to run up the stairs thinking that Jack probably followed me down here but as soon as I lunged forward, I stumbled and fell to the ground. My feet were so sore from running. It only occurred to me now that I’d been wearing high heels.

“Brittany, are you okay?” Trevor yelled in a whisper as he ran across the lobby to assist me.

I didn’t answer him. All I did was cry into him. I didn’t know why I did that but I guess part of me wanted to be comforted. I mean I’ve been practically down in the dumps for the longest time and not even Sophie could give me the right kind of comfort I needed. I guess I was sorta lucky to have at least one guy who liked me. Wait…that sounded wrong.

Trevor carried me up the stairs and into my room. I just clung into him as I tried to calm myself down and silence my tears. Apparently, he knew where my room was.

“Where are your keys?” he asked me.

I didn’t have the voice to answer so I hopped off him and found my balance after wobbling a bit and turned the doorknob. I didn’t remember locking it before we left and when I turned the knob, the door quickly opened.

“You know, you guys should really keep your doors locked. People could slip in and out and you wouldn’t even know it,” he told me as we walked towards my bed.

I breathed in as I took off my shoes. I turned towards him -- conscious about how I looked – and thanked him for carrying up the stairs.

“That’s no problem. I didn’t earn these guns for nothing,” he smirked referring to his bulky arms.

I smiled as I leaned against the headboard of my bed. “Not the best way to celebrate a birthday, I’m guessing?” I said semi-embarrassed that he had to run out on his own birthday party for me. He was probably one of those who saw what happened but what’s done is done. I can’t erase what anyone saw and I can’t cross out the scene that occurred no matter how much I wanted to. If I could go back in time, I would’ve done so much more than just delete the confrontation I had with Jack today.

“To be honest, I never really liked how I spend my birthday with a whole lot of people I don’t know who come for the free drinks and food. I miss how it used to be just me and my family,” he reminisced.

At first I thought he was joking but he was actually being pretty sentimental about what he said.

“Then why do you do it every year?” I asked. He took off his shoes and crawled into the empty space beside me and leaned against the headboard. Knowing that he’s so close to me scared me a little but with the way he was acting now, it was hard to scoot away.

“Well, mainly, it’s because I’m never really informed about the plans they make so I just go with the flow,” he explained.

“You seem like you’re always enjoying yourself though,” I told him but he just shook his head as he held in the laughter.

“Well that must mean I’m a pretty good actor then, huh?” he joked.

I didn’t really know that there was a softer side in Trevor. I always thought he was one to party really hard and get wasted and maybe sleep with a girl and wake up the next morning and do it all over again. But then again, maybe I stereotype people too much.

Silence filled the air. I yawned and rubbed my eyes as I realized that I hadn’t actually washed my face. I didn’t understand why he didn’t make fun of me though. He always laughed at people for what they did. Or maybe that was what I thought he did.

“You must me getting tired,” he said turning his head to the side leaving a few inches of space between us.

“Oh, um, yea, I guess I am,” I stuttered my words. I was too startled by the closeness to think straight.

“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said tucking a stray curl behind my ear. “Good night,” he kissed my cheek and smiled before getting up.

“Happy birthday and good night,” I said with a smile as he walked out the door.

I touched the part of my cheek that he kissed and couldn’t believe he did what he did. It probably meant nothing to him and I probably shouldn’t be gushing about it but wasn’t that supposed to mean something big?

I didn’t want to have to dwell on the details of what it could’ve meant but my mind wouldn’t stop running around with questions. Maybe he could be a potential boyfriend. But who am I to say so? One night couldn’t prove anything. Who knows, maybe he was far from sober.