Lights, Camera, Action, or A Mix Thereof.

Although they had only been out of the meeting for five minutes, Gerard had already managed to lose Frank. He'd wandered the entire store in silence, hoping that he would find him before he had to bring unnecessary attention to himself. However, this plan didn't work and he reluctantly raised his voice, wincing as everyone within hearing range turned to glare at him.

"Frank? Where are you?"

"Over here Gee!" The response came from the desk section on Gerard's left. Gerard wandered through the section but still couldn't see Frank anywhere.

"Oh for Christ's sake, where are you?" he groaned after he had searched every drawer in every desk.

"Geronimo!" Frank shouted, popping up on the top of a very tall desk and launching himself onto Gerard's back. Gerard groaned and felt his knees buckle, although he somehow managed to stay on his feet.

"To the massage chair, s'il vous plait!" Frank kicked Gerard in the ribs with his heels, making him cough hard enough to spit onto the shiny dresser in front of him.

"Ow!" Gerard yelled, although he nonetheless began slowly moving to the massage chair. "Frank, I'm not a horse!"

"Nope, but I can still ride you," Frank purred, leaning over Gerard's shoulder and kissing his cheek. Gerard merely rolled his eyes and ungracefully dropped Frank into the chair.

"Okay dear, I'll be back in two hours," he said, wiping dirt off of his shirt. "Will you be fine until then?" Gerard looked back down to see Frank kneeling in front of the chair, staring murderously at it. His left eye twitched in its socket and his hands had drawn into fists.

"Frank?"

"The sheep," he whispered.

"What?"

"The sheep," he repeated, pointing at the Serta sheep. Gerard merely stared blankly and a blood vessel in Frank's eye popped with an audible noise.

"It's in the wrong chair!" he screeched, sounding very much like a child. "It's in the black chair and it is supposed to be in the red chair! Who moved my fucking sheep?" He jumped up and spun around, arm outstretched.

"It was you!"

"Me?" Gerard exclaimed, raising his hands as protection.

"No, the person behind you." Gerard stepped aside to reveal the same man who had made fun of Jimmy's lisp. He was lurking behind the same dresser Gerard had spit on. His face was covered in purple and blue bruises and dried blood was crusted to his bottom lip. When he saw Frank's face, he attempted to duck down and hide, but it was far too late.

"You moved my sheep!" Frank roared, appearing to grow two inches in height.

"I had to, it was-"

"Die!" Frank ran, leaped onto the top of the dresser and tackled the man behind another chest of drawers. Gerard stood perfectly still, reciting the alphabet backwards in his head as an attempt to block out the various yelps, squeals and expletives spewing from the air behind him. After two minutes, Frank returned, hair ruffled but otherwise untouched.

"So did you fix him up?" Gerard asked.

"Well, let's just say he's not walking for a long time," Frank replied, smoothing his hair back to its original position.

"Oh dear." Gerard glanced backwards to where he could see a pair of bare feet sticking out from behind an armchair. "So, are you going to sit in the chair all day, eat Cheetos and jerk off?"

"Yeah, probably," Frank admitted. "But first, I need to show you something!" He pushed Gerard down into the massage chair and sat firmly upon his lap.

"Frank, I demand to know what you're doing," Gerard said, feeling slightly nervous and a tad nauseous.

"There's this one button on here that is positively mind-blowing," Frank muttered. "I just need to find it... oh, here it is." He pushed a button on the left armrest and knobs underneath the chair's fabric began to knead Gerard's back gently.

"That actually feels good," Gerard said, shutting his eyes and leaning back into the chair as weeks of stress melted away. Frank grinned and pressed another button. Suddenly, the foot rests of the chair tightened around Gerard's legs to the point that it was almost painful. Gerard's eyes shot back open and, seeing the mischievous look on Frank's face, he gulped. Something very bad was about to happen, he just knew it.

"Frank, what are you doing?" he whispered, glancing back and forth. The store was relatively empty but he really didn't want to get reported for something he didn't even do.

"Be quiet," Frank said, giggling again. He slid off of Gerard's lap and knelt between his trapped legs. His fingers walked up to Gerard's crotch, where they undid the zipper.

"Frank, it's the middle of the fucking afternoon!" he hissed, biting back a moan.

"What better time is there?"

"Plea-" Gerard groaned and arched back against the chair, which was still kneading his back. He tangled his fingers in Frank's hair, gasping. For once in his life, he just let go of everything and lived in the moment. He didn't care that anyone who walked by would see him getting a blowjob. It felt that good.

While this was going on, a woman and her six year old son came into the store with the intention of buying a new sofa. After being yelled at for sitting in a chair, the little boy decided to explore. Of course, he chose the direction of the massage chairs. When he wandered into that particular section, humming the theme song of a children's show under his breath, the first thing he saw was Gerard and Frank. Gerard was trying to hold back his moans and failing miserably. Frank's mouth was too full for him to make any noises at all. Curious, the boy wandered over, standing beside the massage chair and staring with huge eyes at the event taking place.

"What is he doing to you?" the boy asked Gerard, watching as Frank's head moved up and down.

"Watch and learn kid," Gerard moaned, bucking his hips upward. The little boy continued to watch until Gerard spilled into Frank's mouth with a shudder and string of swear words. At that point, he ran off again, intent on telling his mom about his adventure.

"Mommy!" he screeched, tugging on her skirt. She rolled her eyes and turned away from the salesman she had been shamelessly flirting with.

"Yes darling?"

"Those nice men taught me a lesson!" He pulled her down the row until she could see the massage chair and gasped, feeling bile rise into her throat. Frank was straddling Gerard, whose pants were still open. Gerard's hands were up underneath Frank's shirt and they were engaged in a furious make-out session.

"Oh my God!" she cried, flailing her arms. "That is disgusting!" She grabbed her son by the shirt and dragged him away, nearly in tears.

****************************************************************************

Brian was just returning from his coffee run when the irate woman ran into him, still dragging her son behind him.

"I demand to see the manager!" she screeched, spit flying through the air.

"Alright ma'am, one moment." He wiped the spit off of his face and pulled a walkie-talkie from his belt.

"Jimmy?"

"Yes Brian?"

"There's a woman here who demands to speak with you."

"Aw fuck, does that mean I have to leave?" The woman began to growl like a feral animal.

"Yes, get your ass down here, now!"

"Fine." Brian stowed the walkie-talkie back into its holster, taking a cautionary step away from the woman, who now resembled a wild cat.

"He will be right here ma'am." As soon as the words had left Brian's mouth, Jimmy strode up beside him, wearing a full suit and washed hair.

"What's the problem?" he asked, trying to keep his lisp to an absolute minimum.

"Exposing my child to homosexuality, that's my problem!" she yelled, clutching her son even closer.

"Pardon me, but what are you talking about?" Jimmy asked.

"Look over there!" She pointed back to where Frank and Gerard were still grinding together in the chair. Both of them were now shirtless.

"Oh, them. Er... that's completely normal!" Jimmy hurriedly said, pulled an excuse out of his ass.

"How the fuck is that perfectly normal?"

"Because it's Frank and Gerard?" Instantly, the woman calmed down. Her facial muscles relaxed and she stopped growling in between words. She even started to smile.

"Oh. I'm sorry for the trouble!" With that, she turned around and walked out of the store. When the door shut behind her, both Brian and Jimmy sighed with relief.

"You handled that very well," Brian said, clapping Jimmy on the back.

"Thank you. Did you pick up everything?" Shifting the tray of coffee into his other hand, Brian reached into an inside pocket of his jacket and pulled a stack of DVD cases.

"Let's see... the new Grand Theft Auto game for you, Johnny and Zacky, plus Moulin Rouge, Legally Blonde and the Complete Star Wars Legacy for Matt and I. Is that right?"

"Perfect. Now, let us go back to the office and hide before someone else wants me to do work."