Status: Paused
Utopia
Tears
I tried to hold back the tears. Really, I did.
Why Dad, why? I knew the answer, but I wish I didn’t. I wish none of it were true. I wish he was just waiting back at the camp for me, holding a newly-formed necklace in his hand like the ones he used to make for me.
But he won’t be there. Not now. Not ever again. Not since they found us...
---
"Sera, hide!" my mother ordered me. My years of training here in the woods kicked in and I rolled into a hidden passageway, one of many my family and I had created. My mother's warm body pressed against mine, but there was extra space next to her near the entrance. Enough to fit one more person.
"Dad," I whispered, panic beginning to grip my voice.
My mother gave a warning look to silence me. "Do not worry. He will come."
I peeked through the little gap in the wall, even though it meant I’d be visible to the corpses lurking outside. I shuddered slightly, but my curiosity won out, and I strained to see what was happening.
"Stop!" shouted a man's hoarse voice. I stiffened. They wouldn't say that to another of their own kind...
Dad.
I heard his loud footfalls seconds before his feet were visible. I tilted my head to try to see his face, even though I knew it was hidden behind his all-concealing mask that we have to use in public.
The guards arrived. Why did the City even need the guards? None of the others would even think of venturing outside the boundaries... not a corpse at least...
They cornered him up against a cliff face, right next to an entryway to another passage. He couldn't escape now without giving us away. But my dad would find a way. He always did. He had to.
Please escape, please escape, please escape. I said it over and over in my mind, hoping that maybe he could hear me from my hiding place.
But he froze. He didn’t even struggle when they went to bind his hands in front of his body. They started to take him away as my breathing quickened, using up all the oxygen in our little hiding spot. But then I saw it...
His hand reached into his front pocket and pulled something out without the guards seeing.
"No!” I silently cried, but only my mother could hear me. “No! Just knock them out and escape! I know you can! You can!” I saw the motion, the hand reaching up to the mouth. But it didn't register, because it couldn't be happening. My dad wouldn’t do that. Not to me. Not now.
He put the pill in his mouth, and his body crumpled to the ground.
---
I couldn't hold the tears back anymore. I clenched my fists as my blood ran cold and my stomach turned at the memory of my father’s death. Of his suicide. It was three years ago, you baby. Get a hold of yourself. I tried breathing; relaxing my muscles like my mother showed me.
But I couldn’t. I tried, but I just couldn’t. Sometimes I wished... life would be easy. Like those other people in the Cities. I mentally slapped myself. I never want to be an empty body. The rest of the world could live in their shells; feeling nothing; loving no one. But not me. I wouldn’t be one of them. I was different... mostly.
Sera Lynn. Such a mundane name. How many people did I know - corpses and cured - with that name? So common. So average. I wished I had a last name, like people used to back in the Old Times. But that was hundreds of years ago. This was now. I can’t think of what would have been. No what if’s. Those are luxuries for those who can afford it.
Luxury... it’s a word I’ve hardly ever heard used in my family. “Luxuries cannot be afforded. Comfort is for those weak enough to need it. Happiness is for those without problems. We have problems, Sera Lynn.” My mother has drilled those words into my mind.
Happiness. I'd only gotten a nibble, a taste of it so long ago. And I wanted more. I wanted to live in a world... a different world. The ones in the Old Books.
But I could only dream. I wanted to be different, but that's not exactly good in a world like this. I needed to blend in with the corpses to survive. I stood here in the woods, the "dangerous" part of this territory. To them, it was dangerous. But for me, it was all I had left.
Maybe the world needed to be changed. Maybe people needed to speak up, to show that there were other ways of living. But they could very well end up like my father...
I tried to hold back the tears. Really, I did.
Why Dad, why? I knew the answer, but I wish I didn’t. I wish none of it were true. I wish he was just waiting back at the camp for me, holding a newly-formed necklace in his hand like the ones he used to make for me.
But he won’t be there. Not now. Not ever again. Not since they found us...
---
"Sera, hide!" my mother ordered me. My years of training here in the woods kicked in and I rolled into a hidden passageway, one of many my family and I had created. My mother's warm body pressed against mine, but there was extra space next to her near the entrance. Enough to fit one more person.
"Dad," I whispered, panic beginning to grip my voice.
My mother gave a warning look to silence me. "Do not worry. He will come."
I peeked through the little gap in the wall, even though it meant I’d be visible to the corpses lurking outside. I shuddered slightly, but my curiosity won out, and I strained to see what was happening.
"Stop!" shouted a man's hoarse voice. I stiffened. They wouldn't say that to another of their own kind...
Dad.
I heard his loud footfalls seconds before his feet were visible. I tilted my head to try to see his face, even though I knew it was hidden behind his all-concealing mask that we have to use in public.
The guards arrived. Why did the City even need the guards? None of the others would even think of venturing outside the boundaries... not a corpse at least...
They cornered him up against a cliff face, right next to an entryway to another passage. He couldn't escape now without giving us away. But my dad would find a way. He always did. He had to.
Please escape, please escape, please escape. I said it over and over in my mind, hoping that maybe he could hear me from my hiding place.
But he froze. He didn’t even struggle when they went to bind his hands in front of his body. They started to take him away as my breathing quickened, using up all the oxygen in our little hiding spot. But then I saw it...
His hand reached into his front pocket and pulled something out without the guards seeing.
"No!” I silently cried, but only my mother could hear me. “No! Just knock them out and escape! I know you can! You can!” I saw the motion, the hand reaching up to the mouth. But it didn't register, because it couldn't be happening. My dad wouldn’t do that. Not to me. Not now.
He put the pill in his mouth, and his body crumpled to the ground.
---
I couldn't hold the tears back anymore. I clenched my fists as my blood ran cold and my stomach turned at the memory of my father’s death. Of his suicide. It was three years ago, you baby. Get a hold of yourself. I tried breathing; relaxing my muscles like my mother showed me.
But I couldn’t. I tried, but I just couldn’t. Sometimes I wished... life would be easy. Like those other people in the Cities. I mentally slapped myself. I never want to be an empty body. The rest of the world could live in their shells; feeling nothing; loving no one. But not me. I wouldn’t be one of them. I was different... mostly.
Sera Lynn. Such a mundane name. How many people did I know - corpses and cured - with that name? So common. So average. I wished I had a last name, like people used to back in the Old Times. But that was hundreds of years ago. This was now. I can’t think of what would have been. No what if’s. Those are luxuries for those who can afford it.
Luxury... it’s a word I’ve hardly ever heard used in my family. “Luxuries cannot be afforded. Comfort is for those weak enough to need it. Happiness is for those without problems. We have problems, Sera Lynn.” My mother has drilled those words into my mind.
Happiness. I'd only gotten a nibble, a taste of it so long ago. And I wanted more. I wanted to live in a world... a different world. The ones in the Old Books.
But I could only dream. I wanted to be different, but that's not exactly good in a world like this. I needed to blend in with the corpses to survive. I stood here in the woods, the "dangerous" part of this territory. To them, it was dangerous. But for me, it was all I had left.
Maybe the world needed to be changed. Maybe people needed to speak up, to show that there were other ways of living. But they could very well end up like my father...
I tried to hold back the tears. Really, I did.
♠ ♠ ♠
New story, thoughts?