Don't Worry, Be Happy!

Have you ever had a really bad day? One where nothing seemed to go right for you? Everything is just awful and terrible and doesn’t help you at all? That basically describes my life. Every since I was born, nothing had gone right for me. I was born a boy and every person in the whole family thought I was going to be a girl; That's what I get for having a mother who's Italian and who's family thinks they know everything. My birthday was the dreaded Friday the 13th so pretty much, I was called the demon child until my mother, who was twenty one wasn't ready to be a mother and that goes for my father too. How do you think I felt? Being left behind when I could barely breathe right?

Yeah, you're right I didn't feel anything. I was a baby.

My mom left me at the hospital and they sent me to an orphanage in Riverside, Wyoming, a.k.a. the smallest and most boring town in ALL of America. Do you know how many people were in that town? 50. Well, 51 including me. I was adopted by some weird little old lady who had an accent and said she came from Germany. She and I didn't get along very well so she put me back into the orphanage. No one would take me. I was like a widowed wife during the Age of Reformation; damaged goods. I wasn't wanted. If some little old lady couldn't handle a grown boy of seven years old, how could a well-rounded, well-respected young family?

Yeah, that's how they thought in Riverside, Wyoming.

A social worker came down after the main director of the orphanage I was at, Ruth her name was, called about my 10 year stay at her wonderful home. Might I add, the only orphan in that town just happened to be named Phineas Jethro McAllen.

Did you all know that's my name?

Bet you didn't.

I was moved from my tiny home to one of the largest, if not the largest, cities in all of America, New York City. I was still a ten year old, scrawny thing with wiry arms, chicken legs and pasty white skin. I didn't talk and I had problems sleeping. Bags, deep and dark, grew under my eyes and my hair grew out in front of them. I was a total loser. I was adopted when I was fifteen my a woman named Patricia and her cousin, Mark. Patricia couldn't adopt a child on her own so she had to get her cousin to stand in as her husband for a while until after I was all settled in her home. Patricia was nice. She took me to places, put me in school, even made me see a shrink every Wednesday night to make sure the fifteen years of not being wanted by anyone didn't affect me negatively.

Of course it did but I was working on it.

Well, that is until Patricia died a year after she adopted me. She was driving to get me on a blistery day in December. The roads were slippery and as she turned the corner to come get me, the back wheels of her car slipped on a piece of ice. Instead of turning her wheels into the skid, she crashed into a pole. Mark kept me around until the end of the sixth grade before dumping me back in an adoption center. I was yet another homeless kid. It was great. Really, I loved it. I loved it so much, I ran away. I ran to the nearest park and sat in the grass until the sun went down. In those five hours, I stared at the sky and asked God why I didn’t have a family. I asked him why I was all alone. Isn't it weird that when you want someone to answer, they ignore you?

"You look bummed," a mysterious voice said. I looked up and found a girl a few years older than me. I leaned up on my arms and stared at her. She was probably in the seventh grade. Her eyes were a pale blue, her hair a deep blond. She was crouched down, her arms tucked against her chest.

"So what if I am?" I asked. She sat down and crossed her legs. "What do you want?"

"Nothing."

"Why are you here?"

"No reason."

"Shouldn't you be home eating or something?"

"No." I grew frustrated at her monosyllabic answers and had already had a mindset to hate her.

"Go away."

"No."

"Why not?" I asked.

"You look like you need a friend."

"I don't need anybody." I said as I turned away from her.

"Everybody needs somebody. You don't want to be my somebody?"

"I don’t even know you."

"Why are you so upset?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" I snapped rhetorically.

"I would," she answered simply. I ground my teeth.

"I don't have a family and no one wants me around," I spat over my shoulder.

"I want you around." She said softly. I crossed my arms over my chest and highly doubted it.

"No you don't." She started to chuckle and I looked at her. "What's so funny?" I demanded.

"You are. I want to stay with you but you don't want me around. Isn't that a little silly?"

"No."

"No?"

"No." She shrugged and stood up.

"What's your name?" she asked.

"Phineas."

"I'm Eleanor. Nice to meet you. I live over there." I tried not to look at her house over on the left of us. I didn't want to look. I didn't want to know she had a family, a warm bed and a happy life.

"You have a funny name."

"So do you," she said simply. I looked at her and stood up. She was shorter than I was. She wore a pink sweater, a blue shirt, and a long purple skirt.

"Why are you so happy?" I demanded, my hands on my hips.

"You're supposed to be happy. We're kids." I didn’t want to agree with her. How could I say, 'you're right', when I knew that people didn't want kids. They didn't want the responsibility that came with kids. How could I say that there were things to be happy about when all I'd ever faced was betrayal, denial, abandonment and loneliness? "Phineas, do you want to come over for dinner?"

"I'm supposed to be running away."

"So you can't come over?"

"You'll be like, helping a criminal or something." I told her frantically.

"Oh well. It's just food. We can stay out here until you're done running away." I turned my head and watched her face for a minute.

"You won't get in trouble?" She shook her head with a smile.

"I'll be fine. Come on," she said as she laid down on the grass. "I think that cloud looks like an ice cream cone." I laid down next to her hesitantly and stared up at the sky. For a while, we just sat and talked. I was smiling and happy by the time the sun went down. "See?" she asked after the clouds finally disappeared into the sky. "You don't have to be sad anymore. Be happy." I smiled at her and nodded.

"Okay."

"Are you done running away?" I nodded once more and we both stood up. "See you around." She said as she walked away. I waved to her and headed back to what was going to be my home for another few years. After those years, I was adopted by a nice couple that were relatively normal, and made it through high school as a semi-normal kid. Bad luck followed me like a bad cold but Eleanor never minded. She was always my little Eleanor and I became great friends and bonded over our old, awful names. I guess even when your life is full of black storm clouds, you get a chance to see the clear blue sky behind them.