How to Be Popular
Lesson 3
Look at the popular people that you know. How can you change your outer appearance to look just like them?
I walked into the beauty shop about 20 minutes later.
I went there often. Raven, who was usually there when I went there, greeted me.
"Bill! What brings you in here tonight? Do you need another manicure? We just got some new nail designs in that I think you'll like. Or how about I dye your hair, your roots are starting to grow in. Black I assume?"
I shook my head.
"No, actually... I want a change."
"Oh?"
"Yes...I want to get rid of my nails...too gay."
"But I thought that you loved those nails!"
I sighed.
"Yes. LOVED. Past tense. Now I hate them, they have to go. And I want you to bleach my hair. I haven't been blond in years...I think that it's time to go back. And I want the whole stereotypical blond hair- blue eyes combo so I'll look like one of those movie stars, do you get what I'm saying? So do you have any non prescription contact lenses?"
"Well I guess I can do that. It's going to be expensive though."
I could tell that she was a bit shocked for my sudden change.
"Just charge it, I have my step dads' credit card. He just got promoted so now he makes twice as much money. I can definitely afford it. Now, please. I want this done quickly so I can still make it in time for at least half an hour of the dance. I need to show off my new look before we leave."
"Leave?" Raven asked as she started taking off my fake nails.
"Yes, leave. We're moving. Tomorrow, to be exact."
"Hm...and why the sudden change in personality, Bill? You weren't like this last week when you came in here for a mani and pedi."
I rolled my eyes.
"As far as I can see, I'm never getting a manicure or pedicure again. And I'm not going to wear make up , either. If I want to be popular, those things have got to go. I can't be looking like more a fag then Freddie Mercury from Queen did."
That got her to shut up. I know that she loves Queen and that I was being totally disrespectful since Freddie Mercury is dead and all but oh well. If I'm going to be a popular bitch then I have to learn how to be a cold, heartless, back stabbing bitch.
It takes a bitch to be a bitch.
And I was Miss Bitch.
Ahem, Mr. Bitch.
About an hour later she was done.
I looked in the mirror. Just as I'd imagined it...
But I wasn't finished yet.
I went next door to a clothing store. I bought a pair of jeans, not super tight ones, but normal, and a plain light blue t-shirt.
I looked into the store mirror and smiled.
I looked cool.
Dare I say it, I looked popular.
I now had blue eyes, blond hair, and manicure free nails. I was dressed normally, and I actually looked like a boy.
But the best part was when I was buying the clothes and the cashier, a girl probably about my age, started flirting with me!
"Hey cutie! What's up?"
"Nothing much. Just about to go to my school dance, before it's over. I just wish that I had a cute girl to go with."
I gave her my sweetest smile. She really was cute...
"I can go with you! Do you mind? I get off from work in a few minutes, anyways."
"Awesome. I'm Bill, by the way."
"Cool! I'm Mira."
"Pretty name. So...when will you be ready?"
"Just a moment..."
Half an hour later we were walking unto the school.
The dance was going to end in about 20 minutes , but I didn't care. That was enough time...
At first no one noticed when I walked in, holding hands with this cute girl that I had just met.
But then people started whispering "who's he?" and "He's cute!" Were they serious?
I saw Tom dancing with his girlfriend, May.
I went up to him.
"Hey, Tom. Having fun?"
Toms' girlfriend looked at me.
"Who are you, sexy?"
I smiled at them. Tom looked up at me.
"Do I know you?"
Then his mouth dropped open in realization.
"What the fuck...Bill?"
I swear, almost everyone turned around to stare at me. Even teachers.
I heard a lot of whispering.
"Hey Tom. Didn't recognize your own brother?"
"Uh...well... what did you do to your hair?! And are those blue contact lenses?"
I smiled.
"Do you like it?"
"Well....you look....normal."
"No, you look hot!" May said.
Tom looked mad.
"May! I thought that you were MY girlfriend!"
"Well can I have him instead? He doesn't have those stupid dreads."
"But he's mine!" Mira screeched.
Meow, cat fight!
"Girls, girls! There's enough of me for all of you!"
Soon other girls were around me, including Hayley and Jacks' girlfriend, Lucy.
"I hate you!" Tom yelled.
I smirked.
"Do I look like I care? Because as of now, I'm the one with all of the girls around me."
Tom was shocked that I would say something like that.
"You gay bastard!"
The girls all let out high pitched gasps of disappointment.
"Is it true?" Hayley asked.
"Of course not, baby," I replied, slipping my arm around her waist.
I saw looks of envy in pretty much all of the boys' eyes. They were jealous.
"You're not gay? She asked, biting her lip.
"No, I'm bisexual."
"Ooh!" She said, and then she pulled me close to her and kissed me, right in front of everyone, including her boyfriend.
I blushed.
But the kiss was short, as then every other girl there started pulling her off of me, calling her a bitch and trying to rip her hair out.
But what I wasn't expecting was for the other boys to get so jealous.
"He stole our girlfriends! Let's kill him!" Jack yelled.
I closed my eyes tightly. I knew that they were going to kill me. There were too many of them and only one me.
But then something completely unexpected happen.
All of the girls stopped trying to bitch slap each other and started beating up the boys!
It was like a scene out of a movie or something.
I watched them, mouth open in shock, until the teachers came in and started trying to stop them.
Eventually the police game and then everyone moved away from each other, with their clothes ripped and hair sticking up.
I just looked at the scene before me, amused.
And then I walked out.
I knew that with all of these girls liking me now that I should probably be giving them my cell phone number or something.
But there was no point. I was moving on from this town anyways.
They were my past.
This dance was like a test,really. To see what people would think of me with how I look now.
A taste of popularity.
And I loved it. I loved that everyone was fighting over me.
Everyone wanted me.
I've always thought of being popular, and it's even better then I could have ever imagined.
I was happy, so happy that I didn't even think of how much Tom probably hated me or even what my mom and Gordon would do when they saw my new look.
When I got home my mom and Gordon were sitting on the couch, watching a movie.
"Hey mom, Gordon."
"Hey Bill."
"Hi, dear. Make sure that you get up early tomorrow so that we can leave on time."
"Sure."
I went to my room and laughed.
They didn't even look at me!
It must have been a very good movie...
I wonder how long it'll take them to realize that I like totally changed my appearance in the matter of a few hours.
And my attitude and personality, too.
I'm even starting to act like one of the popular kids.
I loved it.
For a while I chilled in my room and packed the remainder of my things.
I was just finishing up when I heard yelling.
It sounded like Tom.
He slammed open my bedroom door.
"There he is! Did you even realize that he had this new look? And he ruined the whole dance,too!"
Mom and Gordon were standing behind him, looking at me in shock.
Mom came in and touched my hair.
"Bill, dear! What did you do to your hair? And your eyes...they're blue! And where's your eyeliner? And pretty nails! Honey, you loved those nails!"
I smiled.
"It was time for a change. Personally, I love my new look. I thought that you would , too.... mommy."
I gave her my most innocent look.
She hugged me.
"Oh, sweetie! I'll always love you no matter how you look. I'm just surprised, that's all. It's just so...unexpected, to say the least."
"Have I ever been a predictable person, though?"
"Well...I guess not."
"Exactly. No one knows what I'll do next, not even me. And now that you all know about my new 'makeover' can you please stop staring at me and let me get some sleep?"
"OK. Goodnight, Bill."
Her and Gordon left.
Tom kept staring sat me.
Now that mom and Gordon were gone I lost my old sweet Bill act and gave Tom a cold glare.
"What the fuck do you want?"
"Nothing it's just....why did you change?"
I shrugged.
"I thought it was obvious. I want to be popular."
He rolled his eyes.
"Well, you got your wish. But....I have you admit....that...you were kind of...I guess...cool. It's killing me to say it, but I admired the way that you got all of those girls and everything. I know it sounds lame."
"It's not lame. Really, I'm....touched that you said that. All I've ever really wanted is for you to treat me as your equal. As your brother, and not like dirt."
"I'm sorry, Bill."
"Are you really?"
He nodded.
"Yes...yes, I am."
I hugged him.
"So you don't totally hate me!"
"I could never hate you, you're my brother! But by the way...are you really bisexual?"
I nodded.
"Yeah, I think I am. Why, did you assume that I was gay?"
He nodded guiltily.
"Well...the way you dressed and acted and everything..."
I smiled.
"It's OK. I know that I acted super gay before but that's over now. Now... I need my beauty sleep."
"OK. Whatever."
When I woke up the next morning I said goodbye to my room, my house, and my town as we packed everything into the moving van and left.
The new house was a two hour drive away, and the car ride was boring.
I sat in the back seat next to Tom, listening to my mp3 player.
He was asleep, and snoring loudly.
I turned the volume on the music up all the way so that I could hear it better over Toms' snores but Gordon started yelling at me.
"Bill, turn that shit down. I can't drive when I hear all of this music in my ear. Besides, you're going to go death by playing it so loud!"
"But I can't hear it with Tom snoring so loudly!"
"You snore, too.Now turn it down," mom ordered.
I turned it down but all I could hear was snore...snore...snore...
I slapped Tom in the face.
"Stop snoring so loudly and wake the hell up!"
He woke up.
"Ow! What's going on?"
"Wake up, your snoring is annoying me."
He rolled his eyes.
"Whatever, grow up!"
And soon he was back asleep.
I sighed.
"Are we there yet?"
"We've only been driving for ten minutes," mom replied.
"Grrrr!" I said loudly.
I can't wait until we get there!
I walked into the beauty shop about 20 minutes later.
I went there often. Raven, who was usually there when I went there, greeted me.
"Bill! What brings you in here tonight? Do you need another manicure? We just got some new nail designs in that I think you'll like. Or how about I dye your hair, your roots are starting to grow in. Black I assume?"
I shook my head.
"No, actually... I want a change."
"Oh?"
"Yes...I want to get rid of my nails...too gay."
"But I thought that you loved those nails!"
I sighed.
"Yes. LOVED. Past tense. Now I hate them, they have to go. And I want you to bleach my hair. I haven't been blond in years...I think that it's time to go back. And I want the whole stereotypical blond hair- blue eyes combo so I'll look like one of those movie stars, do you get what I'm saying? So do you have any non prescription contact lenses?"
"Well I guess I can do that. It's going to be expensive though."
I could tell that she was a bit shocked for my sudden change.
"Just charge it, I have my step dads' credit card. He just got promoted so now he makes twice as much money. I can definitely afford it. Now, please. I want this done quickly so I can still make it in time for at least half an hour of the dance. I need to show off my new look before we leave."
"Leave?" Raven asked as she started taking off my fake nails.
"Yes, leave. We're moving. Tomorrow, to be exact."
"Hm...and why the sudden change in personality, Bill? You weren't like this last week when you came in here for a mani and pedi."
I rolled my eyes.
"As far as I can see, I'm never getting a manicure or pedicure again. And I'm not going to wear make up , either. If I want to be popular, those things have got to go. I can't be looking like more a fag then Freddie Mercury from Queen did."
That got her to shut up. I know that she loves Queen and that I was being totally disrespectful since Freddie Mercury is dead and all but oh well. If I'm going to be a popular bitch then I have to learn how to be a cold, heartless, back stabbing bitch.
It takes a bitch to be a bitch.
And I was Miss Bitch.
Ahem, Mr. Bitch.
About an hour later she was done.
I looked in the mirror. Just as I'd imagined it...
But I wasn't finished yet.
I went next door to a clothing store. I bought a pair of jeans, not super tight ones, but normal, and a plain light blue t-shirt.
I looked into the store mirror and smiled.
I looked cool.
Dare I say it, I looked popular.
I now had blue eyes, blond hair, and manicure free nails. I was dressed normally, and I actually looked like a boy.
But the best part was when I was buying the clothes and the cashier, a girl probably about my age, started flirting with me!
"Hey cutie! What's up?"
"Nothing much. Just about to go to my school dance, before it's over. I just wish that I had a cute girl to go with."
I gave her my sweetest smile. She really was cute...
"I can go with you! Do you mind? I get off from work in a few minutes, anyways."
"Awesome. I'm Bill, by the way."
"Cool! I'm Mira."
"Pretty name. So...when will you be ready?"
"Just a moment..."
Half an hour later we were walking unto the school.
The dance was going to end in about 20 minutes , but I didn't care. That was enough time...
At first no one noticed when I walked in, holding hands with this cute girl that I had just met.
But then people started whispering "who's he?" and "He's cute!" Were they serious?
I saw Tom dancing with his girlfriend, May.
I went up to him.
"Hey, Tom. Having fun?"
Toms' girlfriend looked at me.
"Who are you, sexy?"
I smiled at them. Tom looked up at me.
"Do I know you?"
Then his mouth dropped open in realization.
"What the fuck...Bill?"
I swear, almost everyone turned around to stare at me. Even teachers.
I heard a lot of whispering.
"Hey Tom. Didn't recognize your own brother?"
"Uh...well... what did you do to your hair?! And are those blue contact lenses?"
I smiled.
"Do you like it?"
"Well....you look....normal."
"No, you look hot!" May said.
Tom looked mad.
"May! I thought that you were MY girlfriend!"
"Well can I have him instead? He doesn't have those stupid dreads."
"But he's mine!" Mira screeched.
Meow, cat fight!
"Girls, girls! There's enough of me for all of you!"
Soon other girls were around me, including Hayley and Jacks' girlfriend, Lucy.
"I hate you!" Tom yelled.
I smirked.
"Do I look like I care? Because as of now, I'm the one with all of the girls around me."
Tom was shocked that I would say something like that.
"You gay bastard!"
The girls all let out high pitched gasps of disappointment.
"Is it true?" Hayley asked.
"Of course not, baby," I replied, slipping my arm around her waist.
I saw looks of envy in pretty much all of the boys' eyes. They were jealous.
"You're not gay? She asked, biting her lip.
"No, I'm bisexual."
"Ooh!" She said, and then she pulled me close to her and kissed me, right in front of everyone, including her boyfriend.
I blushed.
But the kiss was short, as then every other girl there started pulling her off of me, calling her a bitch and trying to rip her hair out.
But what I wasn't expecting was for the other boys to get so jealous.
"He stole our girlfriends! Let's kill him!" Jack yelled.
I closed my eyes tightly. I knew that they were going to kill me. There were too many of them and only one me.
But then something completely unexpected happen.
All of the girls stopped trying to bitch slap each other and started beating up the boys!
It was like a scene out of a movie or something.
I watched them, mouth open in shock, until the teachers came in and started trying to stop them.
Eventually the police game and then everyone moved away from each other, with their clothes ripped and hair sticking up.
I just looked at the scene before me, amused.
And then I walked out.
I knew that with all of these girls liking me now that I should probably be giving them my cell phone number or something.
But there was no point. I was moving on from this town anyways.
They were my past.
This dance was like a test,really. To see what people would think of me with how I look now.
A taste of popularity.
And I loved it. I loved that everyone was fighting over me.
Everyone wanted me.
I've always thought of being popular, and it's even better then I could have ever imagined.
I was happy, so happy that I didn't even think of how much Tom probably hated me or even what my mom and Gordon would do when they saw my new look.
When I got home my mom and Gordon were sitting on the couch, watching a movie.
"Hey mom, Gordon."
"Hey Bill."
"Hi, dear. Make sure that you get up early tomorrow so that we can leave on time."
"Sure."
I went to my room and laughed.
They didn't even look at me!
It must have been a very good movie...
I wonder how long it'll take them to realize that I like totally changed my appearance in the matter of a few hours.
And my attitude and personality, too.
I'm even starting to act like one of the popular kids.
I loved it.
For a while I chilled in my room and packed the remainder of my things.
I was just finishing up when I heard yelling.
It sounded like Tom.
He slammed open my bedroom door.
"There he is! Did you even realize that he had this new look? And he ruined the whole dance,too!"
Mom and Gordon were standing behind him, looking at me in shock.
Mom came in and touched my hair.
"Bill, dear! What did you do to your hair? And your eyes...they're blue! And where's your eyeliner? And pretty nails! Honey, you loved those nails!"
I smiled.
"It was time for a change. Personally, I love my new look. I thought that you would , too.... mommy."
I gave her my most innocent look.
She hugged me.
"Oh, sweetie! I'll always love you no matter how you look. I'm just surprised, that's all. It's just so...unexpected, to say the least."
"Have I ever been a predictable person, though?"
"Well...I guess not."
"Exactly. No one knows what I'll do next, not even me. And now that you all know about my new 'makeover' can you please stop staring at me and let me get some sleep?"
"OK. Goodnight, Bill."
Her and Gordon left.
Tom kept staring sat me.
Now that mom and Gordon were gone I lost my old sweet Bill act and gave Tom a cold glare.
"What the fuck do you want?"
"Nothing it's just....why did you change?"
I shrugged.
"I thought it was obvious. I want to be popular."
He rolled his eyes.
"Well, you got your wish. But....I have you admit....that...you were kind of...I guess...cool. It's killing me to say it, but I admired the way that you got all of those girls and everything. I know it sounds lame."
"It's not lame. Really, I'm....touched that you said that. All I've ever really wanted is for you to treat me as your equal. As your brother, and not like dirt."
"I'm sorry, Bill."
"Are you really?"
He nodded.
"Yes...yes, I am."
I hugged him.
"So you don't totally hate me!"
"I could never hate you, you're my brother! But by the way...are you really bisexual?"
I nodded.
"Yeah, I think I am. Why, did you assume that I was gay?"
He nodded guiltily.
"Well...the way you dressed and acted and everything..."
I smiled.
"It's OK. I know that I acted super gay before but that's over now. Now... I need my beauty sleep."
"OK. Whatever."
When I woke up the next morning I said goodbye to my room, my house, and my town as we packed everything into the moving van and left.
The new house was a two hour drive away, and the car ride was boring.
I sat in the back seat next to Tom, listening to my mp3 player.
He was asleep, and snoring loudly.
I turned the volume on the music up all the way so that I could hear it better over Toms' snores but Gordon started yelling at me.
"Bill, turn that shit down. I can't drive when I hear all of this music in my ear. Besides, you're going to go death by playing it so loud!"
"But I can't hear it with Tom snoring so loudly!"
"You snore, too.Now turn it down," mom ordered.
I turned it down but all I could hear was snore...snore...snore...
I slapped Tom in the face.
"Stop snoring so loudly and wake the hell up!"
He woke up.
"Ow! What's going on?"
"Wake up, your snoring is annoying me."
He rolled his eyes.
"Whatever, grow up!"
And soon he was back asleep.
I sighed.
"Are we there yet?"
"We've only been driving for ten minutes," mom replied.
"Grrrr!" I said loudly.
I can't wait until we get there!
♠ ♠ ♠
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