How to Be Popular

Lesson 5
What activities can you participate in to make yourself appear "cool"?

Yes, you have the look now, and the attitude. But to really be popular, you need to do the things that all of the other cool kids do.

You should know what I'm talking about.

Parties.

That one little word has so much meaning.

Parties are what show that you're cool. And I'm not talking about the parties that the nerds throw on the day of the math competition or the ones that the geeks throw when one of them gets new telescope. I'm talking about the wild and crazy parties where everyone drinks beer and gets wasted. Only the most popular kids get invited to one of those parties. So here's your test: are you cool enough?

During lunch everyone was talking about the dance that night, and us popular kids were talking about that and the party afterwords at Zac's house.

"I can't wait to hear you guys play tonight!" Jessi said.

I smiled.

"Well I can't wait to see you there. Will you be cheering me on?"

Jessi smiled.

"Of course! I'll be right at the front, near the stage."

"OK. I'll be sure to look for you."

I winked at her. She blushed and giggled.

Tom slapped me on the arm lightly. When I looked over at him, he rolled his eyes. I smiled and whispered in his ear.

"Don't get jealous! You know I love you, baby!"

I slowly licked his ear. Tom shivered.

"Stop teasing me!"

I laughed.

"Not a chance!"

"What are you two doing?" Dylan asked.

Tom and I looked up at him, shocked. He saw?

"Uh...uh...Bill as just..."

I smiled.

"I was just telling Tom a secret."

"A secret? I want to know!" Squealed Miaka.

I laughed.

"Sorry, I can't tell you. It was a twin thing."

"Oh," she replied, clearly disappointed.

I rolled my eyes.

"Miaka, don't forget that me and you share a secret, too."

"Oh, yeah!" She giggled, remembering our little make out session. Technically, it wasn't just our secret because Tom knew, too but she didn't have to know that.

That night I spent an hour getting ready for the dance. I made sure that my bleached blond hair was perfectly straightened and that my outfit was perfect. Part of me wished that I could put on a bit of eyeliner or a dab of lip gloss, but I knew that I couldn't. Then no one would like me anymore. I'd be the fag again. I had to be what they wanted me to be.

We arrived early to set up on stage. The two G's were there,too. I had to make sure I talked to them...

"OK, so here is how things are going to work. I'm popular. Like, really popular. And you two are not going to embarrass me, got it? If you do, I swear to god you will regret ever being born, OK? Now is that clear?"

They looked scared, but nodded.

I smiled.

"Good."

They left and Tom walked over.

"Hey, what were you guys talking about?"

Oh, nothing! I was just threatening them, it's no big deal!

"I was just telling them about the school, since they don't go here," I lied.

Tom smiled.

"You're so nice!"

I grinned and out my arm around his waist.

"No, you're nice!"

We were facing each other, and sharing a smiling.

"Ew, you two look like you're going to kiss!" Someone said.

I turned to see Zac and Miaka.

"Actually, it would be so hot to see them kiss!" Miaka said.

I smiled.

"Oh, really? You want to see me kiss my brother?"

She giggled.

"Sure!"

"OK...but not until tonight at the party."

"I don't want to wait until then! Oh! And I was told to tell you that the dance is starting soon, so you guys should get on stage." Miaka said.

I nodded and led the way, Tom by my side and the two losers behind us.

"I told you it would be easy,"I whispered to Tom. "They want to see us kiss. After tonight, we'll be able to make out at school where ever we want."

Tom smiled.

"Good, because sometimes at school it's hard for me to keep my hands off of you!"

I smiled. We walked on stage. I picked up the microphone and everyone else went to their instruments. I said to the stage crew that we were ready and the curtains rose to reveal about half of the school dancing to some crappy hip hop music. When they saw that we were on stage, a few girls started screaming my name. I smiled at them. Someone turned off the crappy hip hop music and turned on my microphone.

"Hello," I said. "Do you want to hear us play a song?"

The girls all screamed yes while the boys all rolled their eyes.

"This is a song I wrote called Durch Den Monsun. Do you want to hear it?"

Of course, they did, and we began to play. Everyone was dancing and they seemed to love it. At the end I bowed as they clapped and then I started to leave the stage.

"We want more!" Someone yelled.

"Uh...but that's the only song we know," I said to the disappointed crowd.

"But hey , we can always learn more songs and perform them at the spring dance in May!"

I winked at the crowd and then walked offstage. A few minutes later I walked out onto the dance floor.

"Does anyone want to dance with me?" I asked loudly.

A lot of girls came running over. I only wanted to dance with one, however, so I chose a preppy blond with big boobs. I know what you're thinking - it sounds like something that Tom would do. But who else was I going to dance with? The girl from special ed with the lopsided ponytails and no bra on? Ew. I don't think so.

"Hi, I'm Erica!"

"Oh, hey," I replied. As if I really cared what the hell her name was.

"You did a really good job out there. Your voice is sooo sexy!"

"Thanks. I know."

Whatever song that was on ended and a slow song started playing. I smiled and pulled the girl closer to me. I put my arm around her waist and she put her arms around my neck. I looked around to see if I could find Tom. He was busy voting for cutest couple, so while he wasn't looking I slid my hands down onto the girl's ass. She giggled.

"Oh!"

I smiled.

"Oops, my hands must have slipped," I said.

She rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, right. If you want me, then just say something!"

She brought her lips to mine and kissed me fiercely. OK...so let me get one thing straight. I do not like this girl. She was hot, but I have Tom. However, I do love kissing people.

A teacher ran over to us.

"Excuse me. Excuse me! No public displays of affection! You two! Stop kissing immediately!"

I stopped kissing her and looked at the teacher, a fat middle - aged loser who was going bald. I laughed.

"Dude, don' t be jealous because you're not getting any! Go fuck yourself."

And that's how I got kicked out of the Valentines Day dance.

But I didn't care. Of course, as soon as I got dragged out by security, Tom came after me.

"What happened?"

I told him what happened, making sure that I included the fact that I didn't like the girl that I kissed and that I loved him. However, he didn't seem bothered by it.

"So what are we going to do now?" He asked.

I shrugged.

"I don't know. The party at Zac's house doesn't start for another hour."

"Damn."

"Yeah. And there's nothing to do now. By the time we'd take the bus home we'd have to leave again, so there's no point in going there."

"You're right. Let's just walk around a bit." Tom suggested. "Oh, and Bill did you vote for cutest couple at all?"

I shook my head.

"No. If I'm not one of the nominees, I'm not going to vote.Why, who do you think is going to win?"

"Probably Zac and Miaka."

I laughed.

"That would be so funny if they did win. Did you know that Miaka doesn't even like Zac? She pretty much just stays with him because he's rich."

Tom laughed.

"Poor guy. But I can't say that I like Zac very much."

"I don't either. He's a bastard."

"Exactly. How the hell is he popular?" Tom wondered.

"Uh....he's hot and rich, duh!"

We heard a car beep. Tom and I turned to see a limo next to us. The back window opened and Zac stuck his head out.

"Speak of the devil..." Tom muttered.

"Hey, want a ride? We're starting the party a bit early and we were just heading over to my house now."

"Sure," I said to Zac.

A moment later the limo driver was out of the car and opening the door for us. Tom and I got in to see that Miaka, Julia, Jessi, Alex, and Dylan were in there too.

"You guys did a really good job performing," Jessi said.

"Thanks," Tom and I replied.

"Did you hear that Zac and I won cutest couple?" Miaka asked.

Tom and I tried not to laugh.

"Oh...congratulations," I said.

"Thanks. But Bill, why don't you have a girlfriend? Same for you, Tom. You're both hot and popular. You always have girls hanging all over you. Why don't you date any of them?"

I sighed.

"You're right. I am hot and popular. That's the problem. All people see in me is the handsome face. It's so hard being beautiful!"

Tom and the rest of the boys were trying not to laugh. But the girls were actually taking me seriously.

"OMG that is so deep!" Julia said.

"I'm so glad that you understand," I replied. "Sometimes I wish that I could just be normal! I'm more then just my pretty face and people just don't seem to understand that!"

They were patting my back and telling me that it was ok, and they thought that I was more then just my looks. I have to admit that I was trying hard not to laugh.

We arrived at Zac's house, a beautiful mansion. His parents must have been filthy rich. We got out of the car and walked into the house. Then we went into Zac's game room which was just a huge room with a giant TV, a few couches, and like a million video arcade games.

He gave us all a beer. I took two. We all sat on the couches and talked while Zac's butler put some music on. Zac told him to put on 50 cent. Good, another reason why I dislike Zac now...

After a while and a few beers I decided to put my plan into action.

"Do you want to know what's not fair? Every one of us popular kids is dating someone else in our group except me and Tom."

"Yeah," agreed Tom. "Maybe Bill and I should date each other so we won't feel left out."

"But you're twins, that's gross." Dylan said.

"So?" said Miaka. "I think that it would be so hot! Bill! You told me earlier that you and Tom would kiss!"

I smiled.

"Yeah...I did say that. Do you want me to kiss him?"

She nodded.

I turned to Tom and pressed my lips against his. He kissed back as planned and , to add to the effect, we started kissing with tongue. I climbed onto his lap , not breaking the kiss. After a few minutes I pulled back so that I could get their reactions.

"That was hot!" Julia said. The other two girls agreed with her.

The boys were speechless.

"So what did you think?" I asked.

"Well...uh...that was kind of hot," admitted Zac.

"Does this mean that you two are gay?" Alex asked.

"No, I'm bisexual," I said.

"I'm just down for whatever," Tom replied.

"But are you two really going to be kissing in like school and stuff?" Dylan asked.

Me and Tom shrugged.

"I think they should," said Jessi. "It can be a new trend - twincest! We can get it started in school, I think that most people will like it."

"But this isn't something that should be a 'trend' " Said Alex.

"Well I like the idea," said Miaka. "We should at least let them give it a try. If they're happy, then I say that it stays."

I smiled at Tom. He kissed me.

"It worked," he whispered in my ear.

I nodded.

"Yes, it did. And I wasn't even very drunk."