Meeting Expectations

-------- Becca's P.O.V. -------

"I'm confused" I stated, keeping my eyes on the ice, and my hands gripped onto my textbook.

"What are you confused about?" Karla asked, keeping her focusing on her notes.

"Everything. I mean, the guys. They're….they're acting so weird around me. As if there's something I'm missing. I don't ever recall them being so awkward" I said, turning to her.

"Maybe you've just got a lot on your mind Becca"

"No. It's like I'm missing a piece of the big picture, a piece that would make everything make sense again"

Karla stopped reading her notes and turned her attention towards me. "Is there something you remember?"

"No" I shook my head. "It just feels different. I wish I could remember everything. Did something happen between me and Brandon? I don't remember being this different"

"Maybe there are some things that you are better off not remembering Becca. The reason you were in the hospital, I don't even want to remember. Let's just keep moving forward, k?"

"Yeah. I guess" I said, still skeptical.

***
"Hey beautiful" Brandon smiled, pulling me into him. "How was studying?"

"Good" I said. "Better if I wasn't so distracted"

"Because I'm that good of a hockey player" he smirked.

"Barf" Jeff Skinner laughed.

"Jeff" Karla giggled, jokingly slapping him.

"Where do you wanna head for lunch?" he asked, slipping on his t-shirt.

"I feel like burgers and fries" I said, taking a seat in his stall. "Oh and a few questions too"

"Questions?"

I nodded.

"Like what?" he asked.

"Just stuff"

***
We slid into the last booth at the back of the burger joint. It was quiet and a good place for me to find some answers.

"So what were some things you wanted to ask?" Brandon questioned, taking a sip of his water.

"I've been gaining some of my memory back" I said, playing with the paper wrapper from the straw. I saw him tense up a lithe.

"That's great" he smiled.

"Yeah, but they're very fragmented, little pieces here and there, but certain times make a little more sense to me than others" I explained.

"Okay, so what do you remember?"

"I want to know…" I said, a little hesitant.

"Go on, what do you want to know?" he pushed.

"You have to answer me honestly, and I don't mean this in a bad way either"

He nodded, urging me to continue.

"Did we breakup?"

His head snapped up, looking me dead on, but he remained silent.

"Well? Did we? I remember parts where we did, I think. And it involved your parents, but I can't seem to fit the pieces together"

"Becca…"

"I want to know"

He nodded. "We did"

"Why did we?"

He sighed and rested his head on his hand. "All you have to know is that I still care about you"

"Tell me Brandon"

"We…we broke up because of my parents, well my dad. He felt that we weren't going to have a future because of our different backgrounds and upbringing" he said, in a low voice, clearly not wanting to talk about it.

"That's it? Are you sure? It's not like you took your parent's opinion on our relationship seriously before"

"It's a little more complicated, but don't rush things. You'll understand when you remember more"

"Was it something I said? or did?" I asked, a little worried that I disappointed him and his parents.

"No. Of course not" he said, assuring me that all is well.

I nodded, letting it go, for now.

***
"Do you want beef flavour or seafood?" Karla asked, waving two cup noodles in her hands.

"Your choice" I smiled.

"Okay" she shrugged and returned to the kitchen. She quickly took a seat next to me at the dining table with two classes of water. "So…..how was lunch today with Brandon? Must be nice to have some time with the boyfriend"

"It was good" I said, just slightly above a whisper.

"Am I missing on something? You don't exactly look like you had a good time" she said, leaning back and sipping on her water.

"No I did, I did, but…"

"But…" she said, eyeing me to go on.

"Why did Brandon and I break up?"

Karla's eyes went wide, but she quickly regain her composure. "Where did you hear that?"

"Brandon. I asked him" I said, putting my pen down.

***
Six missed calls. That's what my phone said, six missed calls. I scrolled through the list and each call showed 'Brandon'

I sighed and tossed my phone to the side. It was like every lost memory was starting to float back, everything was slowing making sense again. I vaguely remember Bryce, but I do remember certain violent things that happened between the two of us. Slowly everything between Brandon and I were becoming crystal clear. In some ways I was angry with him. He lied to me. He didn't tell me that we were no longer together. He pretended to love me all this time. He did it because he felt sorry for me. But why didn't he just tell me the truth.

I closed my eyes and stared into the dark space. Karla explained very little to me, she barely told me anything actually. But the minute she mentioned the dinner with Brandon's parents and the team barbecue, it's like I finally see what the completed puzzle looks like, how the pieces are finally fitting together and making sense to me. I felt Brandon lied to me, Jeff lied to me, Karla lied to me, as if the whole world lied to me.

I shut my eyes and let my mind rest. I wanted to never wake up, I felt like I was only happy in my dreams, where everything is what I wanted to be, and when I'm awake, I'm living a nightmare.

***
"Morning Becca" Karla smiled and approached me cautiously.

"Morning" I replied back, sipping on a cup of freshly brewed coffee.

We stood in silence while I read the morning paper and she slowly munched on her cereal.

"I'm sorry Becca. I know I shouldn't have lied to you, but in my defence, I wanted you to get better, at your own pace. You just woke up for heaven sake from a 3 week coma, I wasn't going to break the dam and be like 'Oh hey Becca, you just woke up but this man over here ya he's your ex and he dumped you because you ain't pretty enough' and watch your heart break again" she said all in one breath.

"Thanks for reminding me that I'm the definition of hideous" I said, placing my empty mug on my desk.

"ARGH!" Karla screamed and sighed. "Okay, what will it take for you to forgive me?"

"I'm not angry with you Karla. I'm just a little disappointed. You're my best friend, and no matter what, I expected you to be honest with me. No matter how bad or how awesome things get, you have to be honest with me" I said.

Karla placed her hand over her heart. "I promise from here on in, I'll be completely honest with you" she smiled.

"Good" I smirked.

"And since we're all about honesty. I do want to tell you that even though Brandon did break your heart because of the reasons we previously mentioned, which it shall never be spoken of again, he still does care about you, and I know he does regret some of his words"

"I don't really know what to think of him yet Karla. Angry is an understatement with him. He fucking dumped me because of my looks and then he comes around and has the nerve to mend things and hope that I'll never remember?"

***
"I called you last night" Brandon said as he pulled a t-shirt over his damp hair.

"Yeah, I noticed the six missed calls" I said softly, shifting my weight from one foot to the other.

"Why didn't you call me back?" he asked.

"Didn't know I was that important" I shot back.

"What?"

"I said, I didn't think it mattered if I called back or not"

Jeff turned his head and knew things were heating up between Brandon and I. He strolled over and offered lunch.

"No thanks Jeff, I've got some stuff to get done before the holidays" I smiled.

He nodded and returned back to his stall.

"You know you matter to me" Brandon whispered.

"Do I? Is that what you do to people that matter to you? People you claim to love? Do you just lie to them? Tell them things they want to hear?"

"What are you talking about Becca?"

"You lied to me Brandon" I said, slightly more audible for others across the locker room.

"What have I lied to you about?" He shot, starting to get defensive.

"Everything, from the moment I woke up till now. And don't you fucking dare deny any of it. Why did you tell me that we're still together? Why did you tell me that you love me? Is this some kind of a joke to you? Is this 'Let's see how many times I can hurt Becca' game? What the hell if wrong with you?!" I shouted.

"Becca…" Jeff said, tugging my arm.

"Nice to know I had friends here at one point" I said, looking at Jeff.

Brandon stood there, his hands in his pockets, not saying a word.

My eyes started to water, and tears threaten to spill over.

"All I wanted was to go to school here, graduate, so I can get a decent job and support my parents. So, please Brandon, please. I'm asking you, begging you, just leave me alone. I don't want to go through something this painful a third time. Just, please" I said, my voice cracking.

I grabbed my sweater off the bench, and walked out the room, feeling every pair of eyes on my back.