Only Time Will Tell

Janey watched on as Brian paid the cab driver, not entirely sure what to make of his mood. The ride back from Jimmy's had been silent and awkward. As soon as Matt had filled him in on what he had overheard, Brian had fallen quiet, pulled out his phone and called for a cab home. He hadn't even uttered a single word after he had insisted that they wait outside for the cab to arrive. Janey was finding the lack of communication a little unnerving, and even bit back an attempt to strike up a conversation.

Brian stood holding the car door open, waiting for Janey to join him on the sidewalk. The minute she was out he slammed the door firmly shut and strode up the driveway. Janey sighed, following a little way behind him. Once inside, Brian headed straight for the kitchen, pulling two beers from the fridge, passing one to Janey after he popped the cap on it. Janey watched as he raised the bottle to his lips, taking a long slow drink of the amber liquid.

"I fucking knew something was going on the other day," he finally uttered. "I heard ZV and Johnny talking about how Gena and Lacey thought something was totally wrong and unnatural, but when I walked through, they shut the fuck up....all makes sense now."

Janey sat at the kitchen table, picking at the label on her bottle.

"I guess everyone's entitled to their own opinion,"she stated quietly.

Brian turned to look at her, disbelief etched on his face before heading outside. With a deep sigh, Janey rose from her chair to join him. Brian paced the patio, inhaling deeply on a cigarette.

"B..."

"B nothing Janey, what they said was wrong. They need to be more fucking sensitive to the situation and your feelings. How can they stand there and come out with shit like that?"

Janey simply shrugged, not wanting to fight over what people thought about their situation. 

"Is that all you can do...shrug? Did you suddenly forget what they were saying to you? Our friends are basically rubbing it in your face the fact that you're unable to have children, but I can....doesn't it bother you? Because it sure as hell fucking bothers me!" Brian yelled, his arms raised in exasperation.

"Of course it bothers me Brian, it bothers me that they've been discussing this and making their own conclusions, it bothers me that they make it sound so seedy and wrong,because that was one hell of a way to make a girl feel good about herself......"

"What? Is that what you think? That because of this I'm gonna just go off and sleep with someone else?" Brian hurled at her.

"No! Of course I don't....because if this has taught me anything, it's that you are the most incredible husband a girl could ever ask for....but you know what bothers me the most about all of this? It's the fact that their stupid, uneducated words are causing us to fight, because the last time I checked, we were on the same fucking page when it came to what we want to do. Yes, I'm shocked and a little bewildered by how they're thinking, but none of that is going to stop me wanting the same things....I want us to do whatever it takes to have a family...and if they don't like it or agree with it, then fuck them."

Running a hand through her blonde hair, Janey glanced up at the night sky briefly before turning her gaze back to Brian.

"All that matters is us, and our happiness...to hell with everyone else," she murmured, turning on her heel to go back inside.

"I'm just scared Janey."

Stopping by the door, Janey turned back to look at him. The anger had disappeared from his face, his shoulders almost slumped in defeat as he looked back at her.

"You're being so strong about all of this," Brian continued, "yet, I can't help but feel that there has to be a breaking point eventually, that maybe you'll start to resent the situation."

Resting her hand on the doorframe, Janey digested his words.

"It seems that maybe their words have affected you more than me, because I'm pretty sure I just said that I'm willing to do whatever it takes," she pointed out. 

"I just don't want it to become a bone of contention between us," Brian admitted. 

"The only way that will happen is if you continue to dwell on it and allow it to fester away and become an issue. See, I'm very aware that I've not always been so good with letting go of things in the past, that I had a tendency to hold onto things and would allow myself to use them as reasons to lash out from time to time. But if there's one thing that all of this has shown me, it's that life's too damn short for all of that Brian, that we have to take whatever it throws at us, suck it up and not allow it to bring us down."

Janey paused, watching Brian, his features softening as he thought about what she said.

"Would this be one of those occassions where I'm being a complete dumbass again?" he asked.

"Quite possibly. Just what are you scared of Brian?" Janey questioned quietly. 

Closing his eyes, Brian exhaled deeply. 

"That you'll leave."

His brown orbs opened and met her gaze, sadness and worry oozing from them.

"You hear about it. Women experiencing the same as you, and feeling inadequate....and walking away from what they have," he admitted. 

"Okay, now you really are being dumb," Janey laughed softly, taking the few steps that separated her from Brian.

Taking hold of his hands, Janey looked up at him.

"Tomorrow we're going to see Dr.Sommers and talk about possibilities for our future, and I'm so excited about that. And if for one moment you really believe that I'm going to walk away from you after all the shit we've been through to get where we are right now, then you seriously need your head read you fool."

Wrapping slender arms around his waist, Janey rested her head on his chest.

"Just how long has all of this been going through that pretty, yet disturbingly stupid at times head of yours?"

A deep chuckle vibrated through Brian's chest.

"I guess it's been there on and off since we found out for definite, and then hearing what they said tonight, it just brought it all to the front of my mind."

Running his fingers through her hair, Brian gently kissed the top of Janey's head.

"We're gonna be okay aren't we?"

Janey gazed back up at him and smiled.

"I'm gonna make damn sure of it," she assured him.