Only Time Will Tell

Completely engrossed in the files that sat in front of her, Janey didn't hear the door to Beth's office open. It was her third day of the week she was spending with the clinical supervisor, and Janey had found that there was so much more to learn and take in than she had first imagined. That said, she was enjoying the experience of learning something new, even though she was missing the daily interaction with the children on the unit. Each day she returned home, feeling that she had accomplished something.

"How's it going?"

Janey looked up and smiled at Beth who had entered the room. 

"Good, I think I've finished with this one," she answered, making sure all the papers were back in the file and handing it over for Beth to look at.

Beth sat down and went through the file, smiling to herself. Closing the manilla folder and placing it back on the desk, Beth cast her eyes back at Janey.

"I had no doubt it would be perfect," Beth assured her warmly, still studying Janey as she sat back in her seat a little. "Janey, can I be honest with you?"

Janey eyed Beth with an air of concern. For some reason those words didn't sound too promising. She nodded a simple reply.

"You're perfect for this job. This week has been an absolute pleasure for me. You've been eager and willing to learn, you haven't needed to be told twice about anything, you've just got on with it, and have picked it up just like that," Beth told her with a snap of her fingers. "There is no doubt in my mind that you would make an excellent clinical supervisor. I would happily recommend that they strongly consider you for the position if it wasn't for two things."

Janey couldn't stop herself from chewing her thumbnail, wishing she knew just where Beth was going with this exactly. Trying to think back over the last three days, Janey racked her brain for maybe a clue as to what it was she could have possibly done that made Beth so hesitant in suggesting her for a position that she would apparently be well suited for.

"Honey, you are an amazing nurse. I've watched you over the months and have seen how you are with those kids out there," Beth stated, indicating out towards the ward. "I also see how much you enjoy being with the kids, doing everything you can to make their stay here as comfortable and as fun as possible. You can't have that with this job. You spend so little time with the patients and too much time in this damn office.....and I really believe that even though you would enjoy the challenge of this at first, you would slowly but surely begin to regret leaving out there behind."

Pondering over Beth's words, Janey wondered if the older woman made a more than valid point. She had already missed being with the kids this week. How was she going to feel a few months down the line? Maybe this was something she was going to have to consider very carefully.

"Also," Beth continued, "I know that you and Brian are making plans for your future. Honey, this job is not ideal when you're trying to raise a family, believe me, I speak from experience, which is why I'm taking early retirement so that I can enjoy my family for a good few years to come. I've been lucky enough to have a husband who could be there to help me out with the kids....but Brian's career takes him so far from home at times, that trying to juggle babies and being married to this place, that would be even tougher on you that it has been on me."

Janey hated to admit, but she knew Beth was right. She and Brian had already begun taking the steps to having a family of their own, and here she was thinking about a career that would take up so much of her time. Ever since they had decided to go ahead with finding out more about the egg donation and approached the clinic, the desire to have a baby had risen within Janey with such a passion that she knew she would happily take a step back from her job to make that dream a reality. 

"I have to admit, being a mom is higher on my agenda than anything else right now," Janey admitted. "I do feel kinda guilty for wasting your time this week though," she added apologetically. 

Beth reached across the desk and patted her hand.

"It hasn't been a waste of my time, Janey, or yours, because this is something you can always reconsider in the future if you really want to. Want to know something else?" Beth asked.

"What?"

"I plan on spending my Thanksgiving with my family, and I know they've got your shifts covered out there for the rest of the week. I spoke to McKinley earlier, and it's been decided you can have the rest of the week off...so what's say we finish up here for the afternoon, then you can go home, book yourself a flight and go join Brian like you were meant to."

In spite of the grin that she felt forming on her face, Janey hesitated as she thought about the possibility of being with Brian for Thanksgiving. She had maintained that she wouldn't be attempting to join them all once she knew Michelle was going, she needed for Brian to know that he was trusted. But this was different, this was work telling her that she had the rest of the week off, this wasn't her being concerned about the consequences of her husband and his scheming ex being left alone together at any point. Standing up, Janey felt a rush of excitement at the prospect of being with her husband and friends by tomorrow.

"You've got yourself a deal," she answered with a smile.

***************

"So why are we staying here for two nights?" Brian asked, gathering up some of his belongings on the bus and packing them in his duffle bag. 

They hadn't been off stage long, and all Brian wanted to do was have some space so that he could call Janey and get some sleep. Although he had to admit that the thought of being able to sleep in a proper bed for two nights was very appealling. 

"We just thought seeings as we don't have to be in Florida til the 25th, we should stay over and have Thanksgiving here, rather than wherever we can find on the way down there," Matt explained, winking at Val, who simply smiled back cryptically. "Plus, the fact that you went and slept out the front of the bus so you didn't have to hear..well, any of us...you know...we figured it might be good for us all to have a room for a couple of nights."

Brian looked between his friends and rolled his eyes. It was true, he had needed to get away from all the nocturnal activities that had been going on around him the night before and had spent a somewhat uncomfortable night on the couch in the living area of the bus.

"Okay, sounds good to me. Just make sure I'm not in a room next to Seward, because if I have to hear him yell 'yabba dabba do' just as he's about to shoot his load one more time, I'm gonna take some drastic fucking action," Brian warned, smirking at the laughter that rippled throughout the group as Johnny's face flushed a deep crimson.

"It was 'yee haw' actually," Johnny mumbled, shuffling his feet awkwardly. 

"It's sex JC, not fucking midget rodeo," Brian countered, swinging his duffle bag onto his shoulder, and heading off the bus behind Jimmy and Leana. 

Standing in the reception area of the hotel whilst they waited to be booked in, Brian tapped his foot somewhat impatiently, the need to be away from the happy couples that surrounded him growing deeper. He listened on as they made plans to meet in the hotel bar after they had settled in their allocated rooms, simply shaking in his head in negative response when asked if he was going to join them. It wasn't that he didn't want to be around his friends, he was just starting to feel like the third wheel to them all. Missing Janey was hard enough, without having to be reminded of just what he was missing being paraded in front of his face all day long. Brian had believed that this week would be a breeze, but he was finding it a little more difficult to cope with than he had first imagined. 

It wasn't helping that Brian found himself a little on edge whenever Michelle was nearby. Thankfully there hadn't been any attempt on her behalf to even get close to him. That did nothing however to ease the tension he felt building up inside of him whenever she walked into a room or came near him on the bus. Brian had remained true to his word that he would be polite to her if the occasion saw fit, but aside from a few words, he had managed to avoid any prolonged exchanges with her.

Thanking Matt as he handed out the key cards to the rooms, Brian strode towards the elevator.

"Brian! Wait up," Leana called after him, dragging Jimmy behind her to join Brian at the elevator. "Listen, if you wanna head out with Jimmy somewhere I really don't mind, this can't be much fun for you," she offered with a sympathetic smile.

Managing a smile that was accompanied by a little chuckle, Brian slipped an arm around Leana's shoulders and placed a brief light kiss on the top of her head.

"Thanks sweetheart, I really appreciate the sentiment, but in all honesty, I just wanna take a shower, call Janey and get some sleep," he admitted softly, stepping into the elevator beside her and Jimmy.

"Okay, but if you change your mind, you know I'll be okay with that," Leana reassured him.

Brian smiled once more and nodded, leaning against the cold steel of the wall as the doors shut and they began their ascent. The short journey to their floor was taken in relative silence, Brian sighing with relief as they came to a halt. Checking his room number as he stepped out into the hallway, Brian realized his room was right down the other end of the corridor. With a wave and brief goodbye, Brian headed for the room. Letting himself into the room, he quickly placed the 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the front of the door, closing and locking it swiftly.

Throwing himself down with a groan onto the king size bed that was laid out in front of him, Brian felt his dark brown eyes begin to grow heavy. Realizing that if he laid there any longer he would still be there in the morning, Brian hauled himself into a sitting position, taking his phone from the pocket of his jeans, quickly texting Janey to let her know he would call as soon as he was done in the shower. Grinning at the somewhat saucy reply she sent back, Brian began to gather what he would need for the bathroom. Placing everything on the counter around the sink, Brian studied himself in the mirror for a moment. As much as he loved being on the road with the guys, there was no denying that it was draining, and that it was starting to take it's toll. His eyes lacked that spark they always appeared to have, he looked physically exhausted, and almost lost. 

Straightening up, Brian went to switch on the shower, ignoring the knocking on the door of his room, hoping that whoever it was would take the hint from the sign and leave him be. Cursing under his breath as the knocking grew louder and more impatient, Brian almost jogged from the bathroom, grabbing the handle of the door and swinging it open. Shaking his head, a hollow laugh escaping him, Brian just looked at the person who stood opposite him.

"What do you want Michelle?" he asked quietly, filling the doorway as she attempted to enter the room.

Being as brazen as ever, Michelle ignored his gesture and pushed past him. Running a hand over his tired face, Brian realized the problem wasn't going to go away, he needed to deal with it. 

"Last time I checked, you weren't illiterate....so how you've managed to confuse 'Do Not Disturb' with 'Knock on my door and just barge right in' is beyond me," he stated wearily. 

The forced giggle that flowed from her lips caused Brian to visibly shudder. He couldn't help but take in the appearance of the woman that stood before him, and found himself wondering just what the attraction had ever been for him, aside from the obvious. He was never going to deny that Michelle had a lot going for her, it was just a pity that it seemed to reside on the surface, and when he compared her to Janey, Brian knew that Michelle had been the biggest mistake he had ever made.

"I overheard how you didn't want to join everyone down in the bar tonight," Michelle began. "That's so unlike you Brian, you like being around people, you enjoy having a good time, so I thought I'd either come and persuade you to join us, or maybe just keep you company if you really don't want to be downstairs."

"Really now?" Brian answered. "And what makes you think that if I wanted company I would choose you?" he questioned.

"Oh c'mon Brian, we always had fun whilst we were together," Michelle stated, stepping nearer to him. "Don't you ever miss that? Isn't there even a small part of you that wants to recapture that?" 

Running a perfectly manicured nail down the front of his shirt, Michelle smiled up at him. Brian could almost hear the cogs of her mind working away furiously as she schemed to try and entice him into something he didn't want or even desire. Wrapping his hand around her own, Brian gently pushed Michelle away from him. 

"Honestly?' he asked gruffly.

Michelle nodded, still unphazed by the slight rebuffal she had already received.

"No, I don't. Why would I miss eighteen months that were based on alcohol fuelled nights, my basic desire to just not be alone and a whole bunch of fucking lies that poured out of your mouth for the last six months we were together?" Brian threw at her calmly.

"We're good together, Brian and you cannot deny that."

In spite of himself, Brian smiled. He had to hand it to her, she was persistent.

"No Michelle, Janey and I are good together. Being with her makes me see everything so much differently. She's allowed me to mature and learn from my mistakes. Each day that we're together shows me how blessed I truly am that she gave me a chance to show her just how much I love her and want to be with her. We have so many plans and I can't wait for all of those to come to fruition and make our life together more fulfilling and rewarding than it already is."

Lips curving into an almost vicious smile, Michelle laughed at Brian's words.

"Oh honey, as touching as that is, you could still have all that with me, because we both know that if I hadn't have been so dumb as to cheat on you, we'd still be together," she remarked gently, once more overstepping the boundaries as she allowed her fingers to caress his cheek.

Brian's eyes remained focused on her as he inhaled deeply.

"You couldn't be more wrong," he stated lowly."Because the from the moment I spoke to her for the first time in five years, that night at Kim and Gary's...I knew you and I were over."

"I..I'm sorry?" Michelle stammered.

"I didn't stop loving her just because she left. She always had the biggest part of me Michelle, and anyone after that...they simply had Syn. Janey always was and always is the only one that will have me, Brian." 

Watching as she clenched her fists by her sides, her nails no doubt digging into the palms of her hands, Brian knew the point was getting across.

"But we were happy!" Michelle retaliated.

"No we weren't, because even though I strived to make a go of things with you, the truth is every time I looked at you, it just reminded me of the worst fucking mistake I ever made," Brian admitted, surprising himself with how calm he was remaining.

"I was a mistake?" Michelle snapped.

Brian shook his head and sighed.

"I mean my actions, they were my mistake, you just happened to be the one that was there that night."

Folding his muscular arms across his chest, Brian continued.

"And let's face it Michelle, the only reason you persued me for so long wasn't because you wanted me, you wanted what I was becoming. How anyone in their right mind would want to chase a man who slept with anyone that offered themselves to him is something I can't comprehend. All it did was prove that you sought the limelight, the status of being with someone who was beginning to get recognized. And because the thrill of sleeping with someone different every night lost it's shine, it's appeal, I weakened and got with the one person that I used to destroy the only relationship that's ever meant anything to me. I used you Michelle, just like I used every other woman I took to my bed, to help me try and forget what I had lost."

"Oh what? And being with me stopped you from fucking every slut that so much as looked at you?" Michelle spat at him.

Brian felt his lips begin to twitch into a smirk.

"Yeah, it did, because contrary to your little conversation with your friend the other night, I can actually manage to keep it in my pants!"

Michelle eyed him suspiciously, as though not entirely sure where he might be going with this.

"Walls...or should I say bathroom stalls have ears Michelle. See, your little plan to get back what you claim to be rightfully yours was overheard by friends of ours. You were rumbled sweetheart, and I have been waiting all week for this moment, and fuck does it feel good to get it off my chest!"

"You knew?" she hissed, her hand clutching at her chest.

"Mmhmm," Brian answered with a grin. "I've just been waiting for you to come along and make a fool out of your precious self. Now, be a good girl, run along and let me go about my business," he added, opening the door and motioning to the hallway. 

Storming past him, Michelle took one last look at him as she reached the door. 

"You know what, Janey's welcome to you, because what she sees in a fucking sap like you I will never know...at least Syn never gave a fuck," she retorted harshly, flouncing off down the carpeted hallway.

"Night Michelle," he called after her with a chuckle. 

A door further along the corridor opened, Matt's head suddenly appearing from behind it.

"Are we gonna have to face the wrath of DiBenedetto later?" he asked with a grimace. "Cheers dude," he added with a groan as Brian grinned at him.

"Welcome!" Brian answered with a wink, feeling better than he had all week.