Only Time Will Tell

Janey reached blindly from the bed to the nightstand, wondering just why the hell her alarm was going off. She felt as though she'd only been in bed a couple of hours, surely it wasn't 4.30 already? As she attempted to hit the button to shut it off, it dawned on her that it was actually her phone that was emitting the offensive sound that had invaded her sleep. Not even bothering to open her eyes to see who had the audacity to be calling her at such an ungodly hour, Janey grabbed the phone and flipped it open.

"Hello?" she mumbled.

"Hey baby, I know I've woken you, but I just wanted to let you know we landed ok."

Janey's irritation at being disturbed soon ebbed away at the sound of Brian's smooth voice at the other end of the line. He and the rest of the guys had flown out to the UK earlier that day, ready to embark on a short tour to coincide with the album release. All of them had been eager to go, with the exception of Brian. He'd left getting to the airport to the last possible minute, reluctant to leave Janey behind. She'd thought it was cute, whereas the guys had just told him to stop being a dick and check in.

"How was the flight?" Janey asked, knowing how he hated flying as it had a tendency to make him sick.

"I planned on sleeping through it, but some asshole decided it would be amusing to have me seated next to Seward, who attempted to drink the plane dry and bugged the fuck out of me for the entire thirteen hours. I think it's safe to say that I intend to get my revenge on that little shit at some point over the next few days."

"Awww, poor baby," Janey laughed. "Sounds as though you need a hug," she teased.

"Believe me baby girl, if you were here right now, you'd be getting more than a fucking hug. Just hearing your voice has made junior very happy. So it looks as though the plan is get on the bus, head straight for my bunk and indulge myself in a little light relief," Brian informed her, sounding distrubingly earnest.

"Brian!" Janey exclaimed.

"What?" Brian chuckled. "I promise to be thinking of you the entire time...although I wouldn't complain if you wanna go for a repeat performance of that downright filthy talk you caught me off guard with the other day when I was at the rehearsal studio. Remind me again what you wanted to do with your tongue..."

"Gates, stop trying to phone fuck your wife and get your ass on the bus!"

Janey couldn't stop laughing as Brian cussed out Jimmy for interupting him.

"Asshole," Brian grumbled before sighing deeply. "I guess I'd better go baby. I'll call you later when you're at lunch ok?" 

"Ok. Get some rest, just so you're not all pissy with the guys later. I love you B."

"And I love you babygirl, very much. Sweet dreams," he murmured, hanging up before she had a chance to reply.

Janey closed her phone, placing it back on the nightstand before laying there, staring into the darkness of the room with no hope of getting back to sleep. She had known that this was never going to be easy, but Brian hadn't even been gone a day and she missed him so damn much. She had become so used to him being at home each day that the thought of having to be alone for the next week or so was a little daunting. Janey shook her head at her own stupidity. She'd been without him for longer when she moved to Phoenix for those five month, so why this was affecting her much more she had no idea. 

Knowing that trying to sleep now was going to prove impossible, Janey threw back the covers, sitting up to get out of bed. With Pinkly hot on her heels, she made her way downstairs to the kitchen, automatically heading for the freezer to hunt for the tub of Cookie Dough ice cream she kept hidden from Brian. Grabbing a spoon, Janey looked down at the little ball of white fluff who was looking up at her expectantly.

"What daddy doesn't know won't hurt him huh, Pink?" she murmured, shaking her head at the fact she was resorting to talking to the dog. 

Settling herself on the couch, Pinkly instantly curling up by her side, Janey got comfortable for a night of ice cream and mindless television. As she flicked through the channels aimlessly, her phone went off again.

"I knew you'd be up," Mikki stated. "And if you're sitting there consoling yourself with ice cream of the cookie dough variety, best you get your ass over here now and share that shit." 

Janey laughed. She should've known Mikki would be the same if JB had called.

"I'll get my stuff for work and I'll be right there," she told her, already up and heading for the stairs.

*****************************************************

Janey stifled a yawn as she neared the desk. She and Mikki had spent the rest of the night chatting until it had been time for Janey to get ready and leave for work. And what had seemed like the ideal solution to the fact that neither of them could sleep was now taking it's toll on Janey a little as she struggled to get through the day. She placed the files she was carrying down on the desk, another yawn escaping her without warning. Rhonda tore her gaze away from the computer screen and looked at Janey for a moment.

"Honey, what is up with you today? You've been struggling to stay awake all day."

With a weary smile, Janey filled Rhonda in as to why she felt and no doubt looked like the living dead, adding that she couldn't understand why Brian being gone was affecting her like it was. The older woman patted the chair next to her behind the desk, encouraging Janey to sit with her a while. 

"Oh sweetie, of course it's going to affect you. It's nothing like when you moved to Phoenix, where Brian could be with you within a couple of hours whenever he wanted. He's halfway across the world, where it's not so easy for you to stay in touch because of time differences. But guaranteed it's got to be just as hard for Brian as it is for you."

Janey knew Rhonda was right. Brian's reluctance to even want to leave the house yesterday made it clear that he wasn't findng this any easier than she was. She had to start looking at the positive side, that in just over a week he'd be back and they'd have another two weeks before the guys it the road again on the US tour. And at leasst with that one Janey was getting two weeks off to join them for a while.

"Anyway, in other news, did you know Beth has announced she's retiring next February?" Rhonda asked.

"Really? I thought she loved being clinical supervisor and would be here til they were forcing her out the door," Janey answered.

"Seems she just wants to spend time enjoying watching her grandchildren grow up, but what it does mean is that they're on the look out already for her replacement. They want people to consider applying now so that whoever they choose can get to know the job before Beth leaves."

Janey didn't miss the look on Rhonda's face. She knew just what she was getting at.

"Oh I don't know Rhonda, I'm not sure if I've had enough experience to consider a position like that. It's a huge responsibility. As we all know, Beth spent more hours here than at home because of it."

Rhonda shrugged.

"Maybe so, but personally, I think you'd be fantastic at it. Just take a little time to think about, discuss it with that wonderful man of yours, see what he thinks." 

"We'll see," Janey murmured, knowing that Rhonda would be fully aware that she would've sparked Janey's interest.

Taking a quick peek at the time, Janey was a little relieved as she realised it was time for her break. Telling Rhonda she'd see her in an hour, she made for the locker room to make sure she had her phone ready for Brian's call. Before she even had time to start for the cafeteria, her phone was ringing, almost as if Brian had been watching the clock counting down the minutes. Janey wandered outside as they spoke, laughing at the noise in the background of Jimmy no doubt persecuting Johnny for the sheer hell of it. She sat on one of the benches, just happy to hear Brian's voice. When he asked how her day was going, Janey filled him in with what Rhonda had told her. Brian sighed heavily.

"Baby, you've said it yourself in the past that Beth is practically married to her job. You know I'm never going to stand in the way of anything you want to do, but can you at least give this more thought. We've started making plans for our future Janey. What would happen if you got the job, then found out you were pregnant? Think work would be happy knowing that they'd then have to start looking for someone to take over yet again whilst you were off on maternity leave? Plus, a new baby and that much responsibility...."

"B, that's all pretty circumstantial right now, because I haven't applied for the job yet, and as for me falling pregnant...even you know that could take some time even though I've stopped taking the pill. All I said was that Rhonda mentioned it, and I might consider it."

A long awkward silence greeted her ears, making Janey instantly regret having said anything. She should've known better than to mention this to Brian whilst he was away.

"Brian, please don't be like this. At the end of the day, it was just an idea ok?"

"I was just thinking about when we decided about starting a family, and how you admitted that at first you had some doubts. Maybe you're still having them...."

Janey sighed, not quite believing that Brian would start throwing that one at her.

"Yes Brian, because me throwing my pills in the bin that very same night really says I'm still having doubts...how could you even begin to think that?" Janey retorted.

"What the fuck else am I supposed to think?" Brian yelled "I'm gone a day, and already you're getting ideas about new jobs without even fucking giving a second thought about all we have planned for us!"

"I'm not going to fight with you over this Brian, not when you're away. Just go out with the guys and maybe I'll talk to you when you've calmed down and aren't behaving like the 19 year old dumbass who fucked things up before."

"Nice Janey, real nice....you need to let that go at some point, it's getting fucking old. I'll talk to you when I get back." 

The connection went dead, leaving Janey wishing she'd learn to think before she spoke.