You Are What You Are
Wake Up.
"Wake up, Kayle."
I faintly heard mumbling as I lay in bed asleep but not asleep at the same time. You know, that odd in-between area? It's a fucking peculiar place to be. It started chanting, chanting the same three words. This voice, this boy's voice, repeating his line like a robotic bird; the kind you want to shoot with a flaming stone. "Wake up, Kayle. Wake up, Kayle. Wake-"
The voice disappeared the second my eyes opened and I shot my body upright. I peered around my bedroom in the complete darkness of 4:23 AM and I saw no one and nothing at all. My sleep had been disturbed and a groan escaped my lips as I let myself lay back down. I had to get up for school shortly, but regardless, any minute of it I could jab was worth it. Ah, high school; gotta love it. Not.
Within two or three minutes, I was out cold again, snoring quietly, the usual. My mind tumbled into darkness yet again within my solid slumber; no more of this gray shit. I heard nothing, saw nothing, felt nothing, I was within nothing. With the odd event that occurred, this was highly appealing. Leave me here for a while. Please.
Nothing listens, I'm not surprised. 5:30 came faster than usual. Fucking great.
I pulled myself out of bed, standing on the cold floor barefoot and completely unamused. My hands ran through my messy hair as I yawned, feeling a shiver run all the way up my spine like a crooked finger. I spun myself around in panic only to the realization that nothing was there like usual. One day, I'm seriously going to lose it even more than I have already- I'll be jumping at every sound, turning to look behind me as often as I can. Paranoia, extreme paranoia.
The worse part was that voice I heard while I was asleep. I have a hard time believing that it's only a dream because weird things happen to me while I'm awake, too. It might get pleasure out of the fact that sleeping can be snatched away from me so quickly, but also discouraged because I can't hear it any more the second my eyes reopen.
Everything has increased; my fear, the voices, the frequency, the things that I can't explain. There's nobody I can ever tell this to who wouldn't send me off to an institution, but I suppose I really couldn't blame them; I'd do the same thing. Fuck, I'd send myself away. Well, maybe not; all my mother has is me at this point. Not that she ever wanted me in the first place, but that's beside the point although at the same time it might not be. I'm having a hard time deciphering between things with importance or unimportance because I really don't know the difference; this thing has taken that away. Knowing me, though, I'd throw away the most crucial thing. I need to be so careful, so careful that I will, I'll say it again, lose my fucking mind.
"Kayle. You can't fight this."
I faintly heard mumbling as I lay in bed asleep but not asleep at the same time. You know, that odd in-between area? It's a fucking peculiar place to be. It started chanting, chanting the same three words. This voice, this boy's voice, repeating his line like a robotic bird; the kind you want to shoot with a flaming stone. "Wake up, Kayle. Wake up, Kayle. Wake-"
The voice disappeared the second my eyes opened and I shot my body upright. I peered around my bedroom in the complete darkness of 4:23 AM and I saw no one and nothing at all. My sleep had been disturbed and a groan escaped my lips as I let myself lay back down. I had to get up for school shortly, but regardless, any minute of it I could jab was worth it. Ah, high school; gotta love it. Not.
Within two or three minutes, I was out cold again, snoring quietly, the usual. My mind tumbled into darkness yet again within my solid slumber; no more of this gray shit. I heard nothing, saw nothing, felt nothing, I was within nothing. With the odd event that occurred, this was highly appealing. Leave me here for a while. Please.
Nothing listens, I'm not surprised. 5:30 came faster than usual. Fucking great.
I pulled myself out of bed, standing on the cold floor barefoot and completely unamused. My hands ran through my messy hair as I yawned, feeling a shiver run all the way up my spine like a crooked finger. I spun myself around in panic only to the realization that nothing was there like usual. One day, I'm seriously going to lose it even more than I have already- I'll be jumping at every sound, turning to look behind me as often as I can. Paranoia, extreme paranoia.
The worse part was that voice I heard while I was asleep. I have a hard time believing that it's only a dream because weird things happen to me while I'm awake, too. It might get pleasure out of the fact that sleeping can be snatched away from me so quickly, but also discouraged because I can't hear it any more the second my eyes reopen.
Everything has increased; my fear, the voices, the frequency, the things that I can't explain. There's nobody I can ever tell this to who wouldn't send me off to an institution, but I suppose I really couldn't blame them; I'd do the same thing. Fuck, I'd send myself away. Well, maybe not; all my mother has is me at this point. Not that she ever wanted me in the first place, but that's beside the point although at the same time it might not be. I'm having a hard time deciphering between things with importance or unimportance because I really don't know the difference; this thing has taken that away. Knowing me, though, I'd throw away the most crucial thing. I need to be so careful, so careful that I will, I'll say it again, lose my fucking mind.
"Kayle. You can't fight this."
♠ ♠ ♠
A kind-of short first chapter, but I think it's a good introduction. I've got a lot in store for this, so stick around and comment and subscribe.