You Are What You Are

That voice. It’s soft-spoken, I know it’s male, it trails off every now and again. You know what’s great? That’s all. That’s all I can describe it as. Well, that and it’s attractive- kinda cute, you could say. Sort of. More like... I don’t know. I really don’t.

It rang in my ears, much like a constant hum. “You can’t fight this. You can’t figh-” It’s frightening, to say the least. I’m losing it, I’m truly losing it. “Did you just realize that, Kayle?” Actually no I’ve known this for a while, it’s just increasing immensely, thank you very much. Fuck you, more like.

“It’s not going to stop, Kayle. You can’t stop this.” Hmm. Well, now that you said that... Nothing’s any different, thanks for wasting some space for thought. I have no idea what exactly I’m stopping. I don’t get any of this at all, dude, and you won't fucking explain. “You’ll learn. This is only the beginning.” Trust me, I’m so excited. Bullshit.

“Shadows are useful for someone like you, you’re going to learn to love them. I know you’re afraid of the dark, though.” Let me make one thing clear; I am not afraid of the dark, I’m afraid of what’s in the dark. Insane shit happens there. “Says you.” Shut the fuck up. Seriously. “No.”

At this point, I was about ready to throw myself into the wall like you’d see in a barfight. This isn’t a fight though, it’s a war. The cannon can be my brain hurling against the back of my door.

Ugh, this is not a good morning. Although I’d like to think that good mornings don’t exist, this morning just really sucks ass. I glanced over at the clock on my nightstand and it read 5:35. I need to like, get into gear. It’s not worth it, though. School. Ugh.

My steps were full of reluctance as I trudged toward the bathroom to shower. I should’ve done it last night, but really, procrastination and I are tight. So yeah, I never quite got that far. I sort of just collapsed into bed when I finished my homework and passed out like the lazy son of a bitch I happen to be. Mom never lets me forget it, either. Fuck her.

The water of the chamber of cleansing heated to utter perfection. I stepped into the steady stream and let it wash over my skin, burning it a little. It was quite enjoyable, as was the scent of axe. That stuff’s the shit.

I turned off the water and dried off before heading back to my room for clothing. “Hurry up.” No thanks, speed and I are antonyms. I pulled out boxers from my drawer as slowly as I possibly could but putting them on slowly would just feel really awkward. I found a pair of dark gray, rude-fit jeans in the next drawer and pulled those on and tightened the belt. Beneath them was a purple and black stripped v-neck, which would look good with this so what the hell, why not. A pair of black Vans, too? Why thank you, life. I think I’m set.

My bag was on the floor next to my bed and I lazily reached over for it. “Let’s go.” Sir, I think I know what I’m doing. “Oh, you do?” Yeah, I believe I do. “You sure about that?" I can’t be sure about anything anymore. “My point exactly.”

I rolled my eyes and grabbed a jacket before heading down the hallway and then outside to make way to the bus stop. “Good boy.”