You Are What You Are

The others who got on the bus from here started to appear, practically invading my space. It must be this tree, man; it’s eloquent branches, sharp tips, great sense of humor. You know what I mean though, right? It tells the jokes that no one but the wind laughs at as it soars through its empty frame. The branches entangle and twist like a mutated spine with the skin ripped back; raw, exposed, barren.

I suppose this is random, but, I’ve always wondered what it’d feel like to just do that. By that I mean to be bare, with nothing obstructing my core and framework to the rest of the world. Would I fade further into the background, or not? Would people scrutinize me more carefully? I’d love to know, really.

“Humanity in general is as hollow as things come. Well, it’s capable.” I’m going to have to say that I agree. What would we be without makeup to hid our flaws, clothes to morph ourselves into the popular opinion along with the media? I swear to the all-mighty God if there is one that so many people would completely lose their minds if they had to actually think for themselves. “It’s scary, really.” Again, I agree. You pull the roots from a weed and it’s ended.

I just noticed that Emery had gone silent beside me a few minutes earlier. He was looking at his feet wearing a face with no expression of any kind, silently mulling through his own thoughts. I can’t even do that anymore. “Correct.” Of course I am. Thank you. “It’s cute how you were going on about my voice.” Psh, Kellin, I know it was. Again, I say thank you and also for not interrupting me when I was telling that. “I was entertained.” Oh.

Finally, the yellow tin can-looking vehicle pulled up. I rose to my feet, brushing off the back of my jeans then pulled Emery up and proceeded to follow the rest of the cattle into the awaiting slaughter. Moo.

My 'hooves' clank against the metal stairs as I ascend them and head down the narrow aisle towards the back. I almost tripped over the seatbelts not in use like five fucking times on my journey to the only area of this vehicle that I can tolerate. The people back here, they’re all cool; don’t talk worth shit unlike the rest of the heifers loaded in here chomping gum like cud and mooing something out every two seconds. Jesus, I’d hit all of them with a flaming pitchfork. Is it weird that I’ve always wondered what burning flesh smells like? Kinda. I never claimed I wasn’t, so... the amount of fucks I don’t give.

Emery has seated himself in the seat across from mine and appears to be falling asleep leaning against the window. It’s pretty cute, really; more or less due to how his hair fell over his face and how he looked so calm, so peaceful, so at ease. I haven’t felt like that in fucking forever so I must say that I am envious and due to that, a sinner. You’re worse than that. Ha, I know. Sinner, eh? Having envy is a sin. Since when the hell are you religious? You’re hilarious, Kellin. I’m the furthest thing from religious but I do agree with the seven deadly sins and stuff like that, to be honest, though. Interesting. Totally. Oh and by the way, am I honestly going to have to put up with you forever or will I possibly be granted salvation? You’re funny and keep in mind that there are worse than me out there and you should consider yourself lucky. Oh my lord, seriously. I am so lucky. I really hate it when you say shit like that. Okay. Stop, please. Fine, but only because you said please. Thank you. You’re welcome. Time’s running out, Kayle. For what? I can’t really tell you that now. Must you always keep me in the dark? It’s funny you should say that. Um, why? Again, I can’t really tell you that now. That isn’t reassuring at all. I know, I’m sorry. It’s okay. No it isn’t. I’m a little frightened. So am I. Shit. What? If you’re scared, and you’re the one who actually has insight to what’s happening, I should be like pissing myself. True. I’m not, though. Not yet. Ha ha, very funny.

It must be close to seven by now. School, the infinite slaughterhouse, starts at 7:30 and I swear that I probably won’t even get there until like 7:25. This is what I get for living kind-of far from school: getting up before the fucking sun, long ride on the bus and a little extra sleeping time if I fall asleep on here. The cons outweigh the pros in this situation, obviously. Fuck school.

I started to drift off a bit within minutes, which I was slightly grateful for, because it made all of this speed up a little. Sure, I’ll regret the fast-forward button when I’m being made into hamburger meat in a class where putting my hand in a grinder would be worth it just to get out, but I say this anyway. My eyelids feel like there’re weights pressing my eyes into my brain as I start to lose consciousness and coherent thinking. Night.