Don't You Ever Fear I'm Always Near

“Did you see Alessi flip over his handle bars?” Josh choked out through his laughter that he was hunched over from.

“Yes,” I loudly laughed. “This weekend’s race was so good!”

Today was Monday, we just got back from the race in Florida yesterday. It was so much fun. I laughed so hard I thought I might pass out a couple times. Mike Alessi kept making an idiot of himself but….what else is new.

Josh was just hanging out while I was tuning up his bike and getting the suspension right. I think we were doing more laughing than actual work though.

“You’re so adorable,” Josh cooed while leaning over the bike and looking down at me.

“You’re yummy,” I giggled. We started sharing lots of kisses before someone loudly cleared their throat.

“Tanner….what are you doing here?” I asked him.

“I wanted to come talk to you,” He replied.

Josh gave me one more kiss before plopping down in a chair that was a few feet away. Tanner looked down at me but I kept on working on the bike. He’s not exactly my favorite person right nowhe stole my sister.

“Kirstie, I want to talk to you about Kylee and I would appreciate it if you’d look at me,” He snapped.

“Fine,” I groaned while leaning back and looking at him.

“Why are you acting the way you are about this?” Tanner harshly questioned.

“Because,” I whined. “Kylee is gone for most of the year. I don’t see her for at least half of the year. With this stupid drifting thing I’m never going to see her!”

“Yes you will,” He shot back. “Why can’t you just support her?”

“Look Tanner! I’m sorry that this is hard for me okay!” I threw back at him.

“Well you need to just get over it!” Tanner replied. Those words cut like a knife. “Why can’t you just let her do what she wants?”

“She’s been doing what she wants for the last five years! Besides, I never said she couldn’t or shouldn’t go.”

“But you were all mopey and Ky feels bad about it,” He roughly stated.

“I’m sorry I care about my sister and I want to see her!” I cried. “And if you think Kylee feels bad do you even have a clue how I feel?”

Tanner just looked at my eyes that were brimming with tears and his look soften but barely.jerk.

“But this isn’t about you,” He responded.

“Tanner,” I sighed. “This is really hard for me and you’re not making it any easier right now.”

“Well sorry,” He sarcastically said before walking away.

“Kirstie,” Josh softly spoke once Tanner had disappeared out of sigh.

I looked over at him and saw him sitting on the chair with his arms wide open. I slowly walked over to him and sat down in his lap as his arm wrapped around me while softly rubbing my back. I laid my head on his chest and cried.

“I don’t like Tanner,” I said through my tears.

“Yes you do, he’s just got you upset right now,” Josh tried to soothe.

“I just feel like….” I started but never finished.

“You just feel like what, baby?” He prodded.

“I just feel like Tanner replaced me,” I said in a voice that was hardly above a whisper.

“Aw, baby,” He cutely cooed. “Tanner didn’t replace you.”

“But I feel like that. Kylee’s always spending time with him and he sees her more than me. He talked her into being gone all year now. She always talks to him about stuff and she used to talk to me too,” I confided in him.

“You’re Kylee’s sister though. And she only has one of those and that’s one thing that Tanner could never be,” Josh grinned down at me.

“Yeah,” I sighed.

“And you are much too special to be replaced,” Josh told me.

“I don’t feel like it,” I whispered.

“You’re very special, you’re very special to me,” He smiled.

“I love you, Joshie,” I softly said but then wondered if I should or not. When he didn’t say anything in response I was hoping he didn’t hear me.

“I love you too, Kirstie,” He replied.

“You do?” I asked, quickly looking up at him.

“I do,” Josh beamed while cupping my cheek with his warm hand. “Very much.”

“I’ve never felt the same way I feel about you,” I told him.

“I feel the same way,” He told me before connecting our lips in a beautiful kiss.

I know we haven’t been dating an extremely long time or anything but I know what I feel. And this feeling isn’t mistakable. I just wish the feelings of Kylee leaving and Tanners words would go away though….