Meet Me Halfway

JR

Coffee always seemed like a good idea. The aroma of it had always enticed me, but it never did what it was supposed to do for me. Despite knowing this, I always made a cup for myself whenever I felt like I had never gotten enough sleep. Today was one of those days. For the life of me, I couldn’t fall asleep last night. I kept tossing and turning, unable to get into a comfortable position and my mind wouldn’t let me rest.

I sat at the kitchen counter, slowly blowing into the hot cup of coffee. Every few seconds, I attempted to take a sip, only for my tongue to be burned. I wasn’t sure what kept me up most of the night. I figured it had something to do with anxiety – with Ashley coming and her and Aubrey being in the same house at the same time. I wouldn’t know what to expect – mainly from Aubrey. I knew for certain Ashley wouldn’t be happy. She’d probably watch Aubrey like a hawk. I just prayed that Aubrey would behave.

After I finished my cup of coffee, I felt an annoying hunger pang start up in my stomach. I walked to the refrigerator and saw we didn’t have much nor did anything look appetizing. I guess I had mindlessly munched on whatever we had left throughout the past week. I sighed and gripped my stomach as it growled once more.

Maybe Aubrey would want to go to breakfast with me I thought as I began walking up the stairs. Her door was already slightly open when I entered her room. She was asleep on her stomach, with her right arm clung over the edge of the bed, and her head facing the nightstand. I walked up closer to her and noticed her mouth was slightly open and drool had made its way to her pillow. I couldn’t help but smile and quietly laugh to myself.

Something had caught my attention as I made my way to wake her up. Near her hand was one of those composition books we used in middle school. Curiosity got the best of me and I decided to see what was inside.

I quietly picked it up, watching Aubrey intently to make sure she wouldn’t wake up. I slowly flipped through the first few pages and noticed everything was written in her handwriting. It clicked that it must’ve been the journal she had mentioned the day before.

I looked at her one last time to see if she had woken up. When I saw she hadn’t, I flipped to the last entry and read it:

6/19/11

Hey Lauren,

So, I’m officially back at the beach house! I got in yesterday and found JR snooping in my room…creeper!

I rolled my eyes after reading that line, but continued on.

Anyways, it took me awhile to convince my parents to let me come back. I told them that I was better and wouldn’t slip up again. And I mean it. I promise; I won’t let it happen again. I’m actually really happy to be back here; I never realized how much I missed it. Being away for a week definitely put a damper on my spirit, but I also think being away helped a lot. I was able to figure out how to cope with your death without turning to drugs or alcohol.

I frowned at this admittance. I wish she had come to me with all this. I could’ve talked to her and helped her through Lauren’s death without her turning to those things. Knowing it was no use dwelling about the past, I read on.

I’ve never felt more at peace with myself and with the situation. I also want to thank you for doing all this. I’m slowly starting to come around to JR. I think we’re starting to become real friends or we had been a little before the LA incident.

I couldn’t help but smile at that confession. It was informative to know she was starting to give me a chance or really a chance at a friendship with me.

Though, I’m not too excited about his girlfriend coming to visit. I really hope she doesn’t overstay her welcome. However, I am willing to make amends for my previous actions towards her and be nice. Hopefully, she’ll accept my apology and we can start over…We shall see. Anyways, I should be going. Talk to you soon.

XOXO Trigo

I continued to smile a little after I finished reading the rest of the entry. I found it refreshing to get her point of view on things and it made me think we were making progress in our relationship. I hoped she too would be nice to Ashley when she arrived. When I saw she was still asleep, I laid the book back down the way I found.

When I heard my stomach growl again, I thought it was about time I woke her up. “Aubrey,” I whispered as I gently shook her arm.

Her eyebrows furrowed together, but she didn’t answer. “Hey, Aubrey,” I said a little louder.

She slowly opened one of her eyes and yawned. “What is it?” she asked sleepily.

“I’m starving,” I said, frowning just a little.

She yawned once again. “And that concerns me how?” she asked sarcastically.

I smiled. “I was kinda hoping you’d come have breakfast with me. I don’t want to look like a loner eating all by myself.”

She propped herself up. “It’s actually nice eating alone.” I pouted my lips. “But, if you really want me to, I’ll go with you. I could actually go for some waffles or something,” she said, getting up.



“What are you going to get?” Aubrey asked, peering behind her menu.

I looked over the menu one last time before narrowing my decision to two choices. “I think either oatmeal or an omelet. Not sure yet,” I answered.

“Seriously? All you eat is healthy shit,” she commented.

I rolled my eyes and scoffed at her comment. “Oh, I’m sorry for trying to stay in shape and eat healthy to be ready for upcoming competitions. And what are you going to order?”

A playful smile graced her lips. “Belgium waffles, scrambled eggs, and sausage links,” she said proudly, before taking a sip from her chocolate milk.

I had to admit, the girl knew how to eat. She and Lauren were a couple of the few girls I knew that could pig out anywhere and around anyone.

“I just feel like I ate way too much this past week. I pretty much ate everything in the house – including your junk food,” I admitted.

She looked slightly upset I had eaten her cookies, brownies, and ice cream, but her facial expression softened. “JR, you have like a bazillion muscles that I’m sure you’re burning off everything from just sitting there.”

I smile and nodded my head. “Fine, I’ll get some crepes. Satisfied?”

She nodded her head. “Thanks for not making me feel like the only fatty at this table,” she joked.

I laughed. Our relationship was starting to change. During our breakfast we talked about possibly opening the letters we hadn’t opened; what groceries we needed for the rest of the week; and what I was going to do for my twenty-first birthday since it was less than a month away.

“Vegas,” she said.

I sighed. “But that’s so cliché! I want to do something else.”

“Like what?” she asked after stuffing her mouth with part of her waffle.

I shrugged my shoulders. “I’m thinking of traveling. Probably get out of country for it.”

“But don’t you want to celebrate with your friends and family?” she asked.

She had a valid point. Most of my family and friends wouldn’t be able to travel with me or could afford to. Maybe traveling would come after celebrating.

“I don’t know. I’m not much of a drinker to begin with,” I admitted. It was true. I hardly ever drank and if I did, it would be one beer. I couldn’t let drinking tank my reputation and short track career. “Maybe I’ll just have small thing back home. – nothing special.”

Aubrey nodded her head understandably. “That sounds nice,” she said sincerely.

I took a bite from my crepes. “What are you planning to do? Yours is like a month after mine, isn’t it?”

She wiped her mouth with her napkin and lowered her eyes to the table, looking at it sadly. “Lauren and I were supposed to go to Vegas. We planned what shows we’d go see, what hotel we wanted to stay at, the first drinks we’d try…Everything,” she said, her eyes still on the table.

I regretted saying that Vegas was cliché. I had forgotten that Lauren mentioned they were planning a Vegas trip for their twenty-firsts. I was about to apologize when she looked up at me and smiled.

“Do you think Lauren wrote a letter telling us she booked us a trip to Vegas?” she laughed.

I laughed with her. “Knowing Lauren, I wouldn’t count it out.”



“Can you believe we have less than two weeks left here?” Aubrey asked after she finished putting up the last of the groceries.

She turned around to face me and leaned against the kitchen counter. I frowned at this realization. “I hadn’t been keeping track. The summer here is coming closer to an end that I thought.”

Aubrey looked at the floor and then back up at me. “Are you heading back to Seattle after this?” she asked, as if already knowing the answer.

I nodded my head. “Yeah, I leave the first of July,” I said sadly. “I wish I could stay all summer,” I said as an afterthought.

She smiled back at me. “I’m pretty sure we’d kill each other in the end.”

I raised an eyebrow. “You think?” It was hard to believe her words after reading what she wrote to Lauren.

She shrugged shoulders. “I think it would’ve happened already. I’m surprised we made it this far without doing so,” I commented.

“Yeah, I guess so. Either that or I have impeccable self-control,” she smirked. “Anyways, has your girlfriend told you anything about her arrival tomorrow?”

I took out my phone and went through my text messages. “Actually, she did. She’ll get in around four and wants to have dinner somewhere. So, I’ll just pick her up and then we’ll go eat and probably come back here. I’ll just text you when we’re on our way here.”

She nodded. “Okay. I’m having dinner at the Vosteen’s anyways so I’ll probably be done by the time you guys get here.”

“You’re having dinner over there?” I asked, wishing I could go.

She frowned a little. “Well, they actually invited us both, but I told them you had other plans and maybe before you left, we could have dinner again. They said to just let them know when,” she smiled, trying to cheer me up.

It didn’t really work, but I returned the smile. “Yeah, that’ll be fine.”

“Well…I’m gonna head up and read today’s letter,” she said as she walked towards the stairs.

“I guess I’ll do the same,” I replied in a low tone.

There were ten unopened letters in the box. I hadn’t realized that so many days passed by without opening one. I started to wonder what else Lauren had to say or what she had planned for us those past ten days.

I grabbed that day’s letter and slowly ripped it open. I noticed her handwriting was different than the first few letters I had read. It was sloppy with a mixture of print and cursive connecting the words. It must’ve been the point where she was too tired and weak to write like she had been.

June 19, 2011

It’s funny that I’m writing this letter to you right after we finished our Skype session. Thanks for the surprise chat by the way. Sorry I couldn’t look more animated (I don’t see the point in makeup anymore) but it definitely cheered me up and it was just what I needed. It had felt like such a long time since I’ve seen and talked to you. I know you’re busy training and traveling for short track, so I won’t hold it against you ;) I just really missed seeing you and talking to you. I think that last time I had seen you was when I visited you in Seattle and met your girlfriend Ashley. She was sweet and seemed really happy to be with you. I hope you’re happy, too. Sometimes we get caught up in other people’s lives and happiness that we forget about our own. Anyways, I completely sidetracked there. I can’t believe you and Aubrey have been in the same house for half the month! Hopefully, things are going well between you two. And I hope all the activities I have had you do together is helping.

Missing you more than you miss me,

Lauren

I started to feel guilty after reading the letter. I really didn’t get to spend a lot of time with Lauren after I moved from Long Beach to train in Salt Lake City. She was there for me when I got injured at Olympic trials and was there the moment I woke up from my surgery. I couldn’t even be there for her when she was barely hanging on, when she needed me the most. I became angry with myself. I felt hot tears well in my eyes and then down my cheeks. What kind of friend was I?

“Hey, JR,” I heard from behind me, but I didn’t turn around.

“What?” I asked in a shaky voice.

I heard her soft footsteps get closer and then I could blurrily see she was at my side. “Hey, what’s wrong?” she asked, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder.

I shook my head, not wanting to see her face and not wanting her to see me. I quickly wiped away the tears that had fallen.

For a minute we didn’t say anything. The silence was golden, yet at the same time uncomfortable. Neither of us moved from our positions, but I could feel her eyes still on me and the tears were still forming.

“What did she say?” Aubrey finally asked, knowing all too well Lauren’s letter was the reason for my crying and anger.

“I’m a horrible person,” I said aloud, trying to hold back the tears.

“Why would you say that? Lauren never thought that of you. Is that what she wrote?” she asked, confused by my admission.

I clenched the letter in my hand, crinkling it into a ball and threw it towards the bedroom door. I turned to face Aubrey, who looked completely stunned by my actions. I let out a sob and walked up to her and hugged her tightly.

“I wasn’t there for her!” I cried, before burying my face into her shoulder.

I could feel her heart racing and then slow down and her breathing started to relax after a while. Her hands soothingly rubbed my back and I could hear her whisper “shh”, while I clung to the back of her shirt. We were still hugging when she led us to the edge of the bed to sit down. After a few more comforting pats to the back, she pulled away from the hug. It felt like a role reversal for a moment. Since we had been at the beach house, it always seemed like Aubrey was the one who needed comforting and I was the one to comfort her, but now it was the other way around.

“JR, what are talking about? Weren’t there for who?” she asked, still confused by my outburst.

I wiped away the last of my tears and sniffed the rest back. “Lauren. I wasn’t there for her when she needed me. What kind of friend does that? I should’ve been there,” I said angrily.

“JR,” she said in a low tone. I turned to face her. She looked so calm and composed. “Lauren knew that you were chasing your dream – that you needed to leave. She knew that it was difficult for you to visit. She never held that against you.” Her words were true, but I still couldn’t help but feel guilty.

“I could’ve made more of an effort. I could’ve tried. At least she had you,” I said truthfully, looking into her eyes.

She smiled as she placed a comforting hand over mine and then scooted closer to pull me into a hug. “Please, don’t beat yourself up over this. Lauren wouldn’t want you to feel guilty. You were a great friend to her.”

I let her words seep into my mind and calm me down. In that moment, I didn’t want to let her go; having her in my arms felt so right. I whispered, “Thanks.”

She rubbed my back and with one last pat to it, pulled out of the hug. She blushed and replied, “You’re welcome.”

Since she returned, Aubrey’s demeanor had changed. Sure, she was still sarcastic and little off-putting with some of things she said, but things between us had definitely changed. She didn’t have to be here with me, she could’ve just walked away when she saw I was upset (something I thought she was going to do). But here she was, trying to soothe my guilt with comforting words and actions.

I inched closer to her and placed my hand on her cheek. They were flushed and her skin was warm. She looked stunned, but I continued to lean towards her and finally did what I had wanted to do since the last Sunday we spent together.