Meet Me Halfway

JR

We decided to stay an extra night in Huntington Beach and leave first thing in the morning. I was actually surprised we had agreed to do so; usually we’d bicker about it and end up on opposite ends of the spectrum, completely frustrated and angry at one another, but once it was suggested we both agreed on it. Things were changing fast between us, our friendship, and our attitudes towards each other. I was actually starting to enjoy being around her.

I had been up for twenty minutes and within those twenty minutes I spent nineteen of them just staring at Aubrey. She was still fast asleep, lying on her back with her face turned towards me. Her hair was pushed forward from the back and strands of hair fallen across her face. She snored lightly, causing me to break out into a grin. I shifted a little, trying to wiggle out of the covers, hoping not to wake her – and if you’re wondering if we slept in the same bed again the answer is yes. The night before she had shyly asked me to stay in bed with her until she fell asleep and I complied; her mind had been so wrapped around the dream she had the night before, and I, like the last time, accidently fell asleep before returning to my bed.

I looked down at her, checking to see if she was still asleep and her hazel eyes were staring back at me; I smiled. “Um…good morning,” I said thinking of nothing else to say.

She chuckled and pulled back the strands of fallen hair from her face. “Morning,” she whispered in a raspy voice and lifted herself to sit upright in the bed. “Sorry…” she yawned. “…for making you sleep with me again.”

I shook my. “No don’t worry about it. Besides you slept peacefully, at least ‘til I fell asleep. But you didn’t wake me up during the night so I take it that you did sleep well.”

She yawned again and rubbed her eyes at the same time. “Yeah, I did actually and my head is feeling better, so that helped too,” she said pointing to her stitches.

I slowly ran my fingers across the top of them, being careful not to actually touch them. “The doctor said it’ll heal up nicely and you’ll be able to get them out soon.”

She sighed. “It’ll probably leave a very noticeable scar, just what I want on my forehead,” she said looking down at the comforter.

The corner of my lips curved up and I reached for her chin and lifted it up. She stared at me with a little bit of sadness in her eyes. “Why does that matter? You think you won’t look attractive with a scar on your forehead?” She shrugged her shoulders. “You’re crazy if you think that. You’ll always be beautiful Aubrey.”

Her cheeks flushed and she looked shocked by my compliment, but it was true, I’ve always thought she was beautiful. She nervously gulped. “Um…so do you wanna head out already?” she asked.

I nodded my head. “Yeah let’s go,” I said smiling.

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We were halfway home and for the most part it was a silent car ride. For a few minutes Aubrey had dozed off and when she was awake she scrolled through my iPod picking out song for us to listen to – it was a good thing we had similar taste in music, otherwise the car ride would’ve been horrible.

“So are you and that girl still together? What’s her name? Ashley?” she asked after changing the song.

I nodded my head. “Yeah we’re still together,” I said almost like it was a burden being in a relationship.

“That’s good. How long?” she asked hoisting her feet up on the dashboard.

“Uh…a little over nine months now.”

From the corner of my eye I could see her nodding her head. “Wow, that’s a long time. Almost a year. You must really love her.” I noticed a hint of sadness in her voice when she said the latter.

You would think that after being with someone for nine months, but I honestly wasn’t feeling that way towards Ashley, and yet I still kept hanging on to our relationship hoping that would change.

“I kinda have a confession,” I said gripping the steering wheel tighter. She turned her head towards me, waiting to hear my confession. “I haven’t told her I love her yet.”

She was silent for a minute and then I heard, “Oh,” escape her lips.

I shook my head in embarrassment. “Yeah…I know that’s pretty bad on my part. But I don’t know. I just can’t bring myself to say it,” I said shrugging my shoulders.

“JR, it’s okay, you don’t have to explain yourself. It takes time to love someone, granted, nine months is a pretty long time.” I laughed a little. “You know, maybe you just need to practice saying it,” she suggested.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Like saying it out loud, saying ‘I love you’. Mm…you can try it on me. Go ahead,” she said directing all attention on me.

My throat felt dry and an invisible lump felt stuck in it; I suddenly became nervous. I shook the nerves off and took a deep breath. “I love you Aubrey.”

Silence. She didn’t say a word and after a few seconds of nothing, I turned my head towards her, and saw a face of complete shock. “What?” I asked, not knowing what was wrong.

“Um…I meant say ‘I love you’ using Ashley’s name.”

I felt my face burn as my cheeks flushed with total embarrassment. I couldn’t believe I had used Aubrey’s name instead of Ashley’s like I had intended to. There was no way I could pull that one off; I had nothing.

“Oh right. Sorry,” I said, feeling more humiliated.

She chuckled, making me feel relieved. “It’s okay. Now let’s try it again, only this time use Ashley’s name. Go.”

Unlike the first time, I actually found myself struggling more to say it. “I…I…” I took a deep breath. “I lo-love you…Ashley,” I stammered, at least remembering say Ashley’s name.

“That was great! Now you just need to practice a little more, preferably while holding a picture of her while you say it.” I nodded my head, even though I knew it would take more than practice to get me to say those three words.

I didn’t understand why Aubrey helped me, or why she was concerned about my love life. I decided to turn the tables and ask her about her relationships.

“So, whata ‘bout you? No boyfriend?” I asked.

I heard her scoff at my question. “Me? Nope, no boyfriend.”

“Really?” I asked a little shocked.

“Does that surprise you? Me not having a boyfriend?” she asked.

“Uh yeah it kinda does,” I answered back.

“How come?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know. Never mind. So did you just get out of a relationship or something?” I was hoping I wasn’t annoying her with these questions.

“I don’t know if you could call what I had with those guys relationships. I just felt used by them, never loved. It was like we were friends with benefits, and yet we’d call each other boyfriend and girlfriend, but there was never any hand holding, cuddling, or kissing. It was an empty relationship.” She turned towards the window and stared out of it, sighing in realization of what she just poured out.

Keeping my eyes on the road, I reached my hand out to grab hers and squeezed it in a comforting grip. “You’ll find that special guy. He’ll do all those things and make you feel loved,” I said and for some reason I just knew she was smiling at me.

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We arrived at the beach house several minutes after trading relationship stories and decided to relax and eat before opening our letters from Lauren. We were hoping she hadn’t made any reservations or scheduled us to do anything.

“Well let’s go open our letters,” Aubrey suggested, patting my thigh as she got up from the couch; we had just finished watching a movie while we ate lunch.

I grunted as I got up from the couch, still feeling full. “I’m coming, I’m coming.”

I got to my room and found the letter that read June 4, 2011. I opened it and began to read:

Heya JR!

I hope you had a wonderful time in Huntington Beach. I always enjoyed my stay there when I went. Well today I have a favor to ask of you. The thing is I’ve noticed Aubrey isn’t acting like her usual self and has stopped doing photography. A part of me thinks it’s because of the condition I’m in and I really hate to see her give up on being a photographer. So, I need you to try to get her to take it up again. You’re probably wondering “how am I going to do that?” Well, the thing is, Aubrey absolutely loves the aquarium, and every time she goes she loves taking pictures, so I think a day at the aquarium will benefit both of you.

Xoxo Lauren.

So, even Lauren had noticed Aubrey’s decline in enthusiasm. Was this one of the reasons why Lauren wanted us to stay at the beach house together? I figured it was because she wanted us to become better friends, but was it also because she knew Aubrey needed some guidance? Did Lauren really think I was the right person to help Aubrey?

There was a knock at my door and I turned to see Aubrey slowly open it she smiled. “So it looks like we have a free day today. Have any suggestions on what to do today?” she asked.

I looked back down at my letter, then folded it back up, and nodded my head. “You know, it’s been a very long time since I’ve gone to the aquarium, do you think we could go?” I asked hoping she’d take the bait.

For once since we’ve been together I saw her eyes lit up with life and she smiled as if I had given her the best news of her life. Lauren was right; Aubrey must really love the aquarium.

“Really?” she asked with pure excitement. I nodded my head. “Yeah, I’d love to go. Wow, I never thought I’d be so excited to go to the aquarium. I’m gonna go get my camera!” she said walking backwards towards the door.

“Your camera?”

“Kinda feeling inspired. What better way to start up again than taking pictures of sea animals?” she said walking out.

I smiled and actually started to feel eager about going to the aquarium. Hope this works Lauren.