‹ Prequel: Sickness
Cure
Sky
Everyday, I look into the sky.
It never looks the same. There is always something different about it, like the color, or the texture, or what’s in it. I don’t think I’ve ever looked up and said, “Huh. Same as yesterday.”
Never. Even before Rose died, I would look at the sky, day and night. Mostly night. No, mostly day.
No.
Mostly all the time.
All the time. I look at the sky all the time now.
Ever since Rose died. I can’t stop. She made me want to do something with my life. She proved to me that dying does not mean you stop living in spirit. Her concerto was produced and sold throughout the world eight years after her death. Eight years. How much have I accomplished in that amount of time?
I got married.
Oh, Ana. I love you so much. You remind me of the beautiful blue sky that stretches across our world. I want to stay with you.
But, Rose, you…you remind me of the night sky, so mysterious, so deep. You made me what I am today.
Rose and Ana. They say you never forget true love. They also say it’s a once in a lifetime experience to find it.
I have to disagree. I found it twice.
These two women…are like the sky of dawn and dusk. Neither day nor night.
This is where my thoughts become confused.
I can love two women, but I find myself unable to choose. I do not know whether or not I have gone insane. One of my two loves is dead. And I find myself still wanting to be with her, still thinking she never really died. But Ana. How could I not love her? She is the reason I still have common sense, integrity, and most of my sanity. She reminds me of why I want to keep living everyday. Why is it me who must choose between life with Ana or death with Rose? Why can’t it not just be decided for me?
I’d be happy either way.
My thoughts have a habit of getting tangled in a web. This is about the time and mindset I have right before I go outside to my balcony and telescope.
Tonight, Venus is out. And she’s beautiful.
I think that I will look at the night sky for a while. Both of my loves are reminiscent of the sky.
I’ll sit here with the stars, with Rose.
And soon it’ll be day, bright blue. With Ana.
But somewhere in between, it will be dawn. And I will see all of my love, portrayed in one beautiful, endless sky.
That’s all it has ever been.
It never looks the same. There is always something different about it, like the color, or the texture, or what’s in it. I don’t think I’ve ever looked up and said, “Huh. Same as yesterday.”
Never. Even before Rose died, I would look at the sky, day and night. Mostly night. No, mostly day.
No.
Mostly all the time.
All the time. I look at the sky all the time now.
Ever since Rose died. I can’t stop. She made me want to do something with my life. She proved to me that dying does not mean you stop living in spirit. Her concerto was produced and sold throughout the world eight years after her death. Eight years. How much have I accomplished in that amount of time?
I got married.
Oh, Ana. I love you so much. You remind me of the beautiful blue sky that stretches across our world. I want to stay with you.
But, Rose, you…you remind me of the night sky, so mysterious, so deep. You made me what I am today.
Rose and Ana. They say you never forget true love. They also say it’s a once in a lifetime experience to find it.
I have to disagree. I found it twice.
These two women…are like the sky of dawn and dusk. Neither day nor night.
This is where my thoughts become confused.
I can love two women, but I find myself unable to choose. I do not know whether or not I have gone insane. One of my two loves is dead. And I find myself still wanting to be with her, still thinking she never really died. But Ana. How could I not love her? She is the reason I still have common sense, integrity, and most of my sanity. She reminds me of why I want to keep living everyday. Why is it me who must choose between life with Ana or death with Rose? Why can’t it not just be decided for me?
I’d be happy either way.
My thoughts have a habit of getting tangled in a web. This is about the time and mindset I have right before I go outside to my balcony and telescope.
Tonight, Venus is out. And she’s beautiful.
I think that I will look at the night sky for a while. Both of my loves are reminiscent of the sky.
I’ll sit here with the stars, with Rose.
And soon it’ll be day, bright blue. With Ana.
But somewhere in between, it will be dawn. And I will see all of my love, portrayed in one beautiful, endless sky.
That’s all it has ever been.