Kiss Me Like you Did -IGHS Sequel-

Man, that test was killer, Johnny complained from ten feet away as he walked towards me outside the main campus coffee shop.

So you only got an A- then? I teased, and picked up the two steaming paper cups of hot chocolate I’d bought, handing one to him as he reached me. He made a face but didn’t respond – you ever tried signing with 8oz of boiling liquid in one hand? – and we walked across campus til we came to our bench. Sitting down, we huddled close together against the biting cold and sipped our drinks, waiting for the hot chocolate to warm us from the inside out.

I know somebody who failed, Johnny signed once he’d tossed his paper cup in the trash can by the bench. The sun was shining brightly but afforded us no warmth and the air was crisp.

I placed my cup gingerly between my knees and asked, Who?

A certain Mr Chambers, Johnny smirked, his eyes shining. Despite the fact that Ethan, Noah, and even Jacob all got on really well with Ryan, Johnny didn’t like him. He claimed it was because of the way Ryan acted in class, that the guy just rubbed him up the wrong way, but I think it was a little out of loyalty to me as well. He’d become one of my best friends; nobody could replace Taylor or Kelly in my life, but he seemed to have made a new place for himself in the same general proximity to my heart.

How do you know? I asked, trying not to look too pleased.

He spent the first half hour looking around the place – I noticed cos he was right by me and it was really distracting – and then he left. Everyone else was writing up until the very last minute.

I grinned broadly at Johnny for a second, but then forced my expression to something more sedate. He could have something going on... I suggested, imaging all sorts of horrific family situations that might cause someone dedicated enough to be pre-med to walk out of an exam counting for 30% of his overall grade after a half hour.

You mean other than an inherent desire to fail out of college? Johnny rolled his eyes and snorted. You’re living with the guy, you’d know if he had a problem.

That much was true, I guess. As much as I hated it, Ryan seemed to know all about my problems, and even once timidly suggested that I should share his carton of takeaway French fries, as I hadn’t eaten in days. If he had anything serious going on in his life, I’d know.

Good point, I admitted, and allowed the grin to spread back across my face again.

Come on, you sadist, Johnny grinned, taking my cup from where it was still warming my knees and tossing it in the trash can as well. I need a nap. I was up all night cramming.

We wandered back to Cherrytree Hall in relative silence – well. You know – Johnny yawning every now and again.

‘Jake!’ I heard someone yelling behind me and turned around, catching Johnny’s arm out of habit so he wouldn’t walk ahead without me. We saw Noah jogging towards us, the ear flaps on his hat jumping with his footfalls.

‘Hey,’ I said, while Johnny signed a greeting, and I couldn’t help but notice the huge grin that spread across my friend’s face. I glanced at him suspiciously but said nothing; unlike when we were commenting on random guys we saw on campus, Noah could understand ASL.

‘Haven’t seen you guys in ages,’ he said conversationally, wrapping one arm tightly around Johnny’s neck and giving him the demon noogie from hell. Johnny winced and whined once Noah had released him, rubbing the top of his head. ‘How are your exams going?’ He was talking and signing at the same time, something Ethan and Jacob could do as well. I was still getting the hang of that.

‘I finished on Wednesday,’ I told him, trying to sign as well even though I knew Johnny could read lips. He grinned at my sloppy effort and I made a face. ‘What about you?’

‘Just finished there. Not too bad. You had your last one today as well right?’ he asked Johnny.

Second last, I’ve got one tomorrow. I only got an A-, he added jokingly, sticking his tongue out at me. Noah glanced suspiciously between us, then pointed from one to the other and back again.

‘Are you guys...?’

Johnny’s eyes widened as my eyebrows shot into my hairline.

No, Johnny signed rapidly. No. No way. We’re not.

‘Wouldn’t touch off him,’ I added, shooting Johnny what I hoped was a surreptitious look telling him to cool the fuck down.

We were outside Cherrytree Hall by now and as we climbed the steps to the front door Noah still looked suspicious.

‘Okay,’ he said slowly. ‘If you say so.’ He walked over to the elevators; being on the third floor, while we were on the first, he didn’t usually bother with the stairs.

You have a crush on Noah! I accused Johnny as soon as the elevator doors were closed behind him.

Shut up, Johnny practically sign-muttered, his cheeks colouring.

‘Gah!’ I exclaimed. How long for?!

Johnny shrugged, trying to look nonchalant. Ever? I dunno. I’m going to bed before we decide to do each other’s hair and get our periods, he grinned, and let himself into the room he shared with Jacob across the hall from mine and Ryan’s.

Rolling my eyes, I prepared to have to possibly comfort a distraught Ryan over failing his exam and turned my key in the door.

Taylor

Ryan was suffocating me.

Not literally. Not like he was actually trying to kill me, or we were trying out some erotic asphyxiation technique we’d seen on Criminal Minds. I hadn’t had sex with Ryan since we’d gotten here, and I think that was probably why he was clinging to me. He was most likely horny as fuck, but on top of that, he knew why I didn’t want to sleep with him, and that made him really paranoid.

But I just couldn’t do it. I could barely touch Ryan in a non-platonic way when I knew Jake was in the same building, much less have sex with him. Holding hands with him was beginning to freak me out.

Last night it got really bad. He turned up at my door at half eleven while Landon and I were playing Need For Speed on his Xbox. Landon paused the game, and I heard him clicking his tongue when he saw who was there; I leaned back and twisted my neck to watch as Ryan walked into the room.

‘I’m gonna go get something to eat,’ Landon said monotonously, or rather recited; it was the excuse he used to get away whenever Ryan came to visit.

‘Dude,’ I called after him, trying to tell him it was okay to stay, but the door clicked shut behind him and I sighed. ‘Hey,’ I smiled to Ryan, and motioned to Landon’s abandoned Xbox controller. ‘Wanna play?’

But Ryan was sitting on my bed, fidgeting.

I rubbed my face with my hands exasperatedly and stood up to turn on the light. ‘What’s wrong?’

Ryan looked up, seeming a little surprised that I’d spoken. I guess that usually is his line. ‘Huh? Nothing. Um. Nothing.’

‘Why are you here?’ I asked a little tetchily, trying to sound curious but failing. I sounded really annoyed instead.

Ryan bit his lip, and I knew he was regretting coming.

‘I mean,’ I went on, ‘you have to have had some reason for driving Landon from his own room – again.’

Landon was always really nice about the whole Ryan-neediness thing whenever he came back from wherever he went while Ryan was over, but it had to be annoying. Possibly even worse than sitting through a half hour of Ryan and I bickering about how he didn’t trust me.

‘And shouldn’t you be studying anyway?’ I continued, getting into the swing of it now. ‘Isn’t your test tomorrow worth like 40% or something?’

‘Thirty,’ Ryan answered quietly.

‘Oh, thirty. That’s okay then,’ I said sarcastically, crossing my arms and making no move towards him.

Ryan looked up at me, and I saw his eyes flash. ‘You know, every once in a while, it would nice if you acted just a little like a boyfriend. Just a little like you actually give a shit about me. Like you were a tad grateful for the fact that I’ve been keeping you a-fucking-live for the past year.’

I scowled, even though my heart had started racing. It was the first time he’d ever said anything like that. ‘You’re right, of course, because the fucking hospitals, and the clinics, and the fucking cocktail of medication they have me on had nothing to do with that. It was all you.’

‘Those were all me!’ he shouted, standing up now. ‘If it hadn’t been for me you wouldn’t even have had the chance to do all that!’

‘And I enjoyed it so fucking much!’ I shouted back. ‘What part of I wanted to die do you still not understand?!’

Ryan took a step back, gaping at me in shock. Had he really thought it was a cry for help all this time?

‘Shut up,’ he spat, and started to walk towards me. ‘Don’t ever say that again,’ he said, his voice low and threatening, before he slammed out of the room, the door crashing closed behind him.

So it hadn’t exactly been a peaceful night’s sleep for me, and Landon, even in all his Dorm Assistant glory, hadn’t been able to make me feel any better. I knew what time Ryan’s exam ended, and I knew I had to apologise. I’d have to lie and say I had been angry and I didn’t mean it, of course I was glad he’d saved my life, of course every day wasn’t fucking torture.

I knew from Kelly, who – despite staying pretty good friends with me even after Jake and I agreed to stay apart – I think only told me to try and make me jealous (it worked), that Jake met Johnny after each of his exams and they went for hot chocolate for a couple hours. So it was safe to go break into Ryan’s room and wait for him to get back from his exam. With twenty minutes to go before I knew the exam was scheduled to end, I couldn’t take the nervous anticipation anymore, and I left my room, descending the stairs to the first floor.

Ryan had given me a key to his room – ‘just in case’ – so “breaking in” was relatively simple, and I closed the door behind me, going to sit on his bed and wait for him to get back. Thirty minutes later, I heard the key turn in the lock and I sat up, putting on my best apology face.

I guess Kelly had been exaggerating when she’d told me that coffee with Johnny was a two-hour activity.

Jake

‘What have you done now?’ I asked the first thing that came into my head after a two second pause when I saw Taylor sitting on Ryan’s bed wearing his apology face.

‘Sorry,’ he blurted, standing up. ‘Shit. I thought you’d be gone for a while. I’ll leave.’

‘Stay,’ I said, shrugging and taking off my coat and scarf. In contrast to the frigid conditions outside, Cherrytree Hall was so warm that it wasn’t unusual to see guys roaming the halls in their wifebeaters, boxers, and not much else. ‘He’ll probably be back soon anyway.’

Taylor sat back down slowly, chewing on his bottom lip. I wanted to walk over and put my thumb on it, make him, stop, but I busied myself sorting out papers on my messy desk, trying to distract myself from the fact that he was there.

‘So, um, how are your exams going?’ Taylor asked after a second, and I turned around to stare at him. His dark hair was longer than the last time I’d allowed myself to study him, falling over his eyes and making him look more innocent than usual.

‘Okay. I finished on Wednesday,’ I finally blurted. ‘What about you?’

‘I don’t have Christmas exams... They’re spaced out across the year for me.’

‘Why?’

‘I, um. I qualify as disabled. Because of my depression. It’s supposed to make it easier.’

‘Oh,’ I said, not really knowing where to take it from there. I turned around and started messing with my college notes again.

‘I can’t believe you still recognise me apology face,’ Taylor joked, and I could tell he was grinning. I smiled too, though I didn’t turn around.

‘Are you kidding? You broke so much shit in our house when we were little it was practically your permanent expression.’

‘You can’t even talk!’ he exclaimed. ‘Remember when you trashed my mom’s antique vase? And tried to stick it back together with Sellotape before she got home?’

‘That was your idea!’ I was still pretending to be half-sidetracked by my books and notes, though my attention was firmly on the conversation. I knew if I turned around I’d do something stupid.

‘Unlike the time we watched Peter Pan and you convinced me to jump off the fridge because you thought I could fly.’

‘Getting up there was more trouble than getting down.’

‘Yeah, because I fell and broke my arm. Your apology face was on for about a week after that.’

‘And my name was all over cast.’

‘You practically wrote me a letter. There was no room for anyone else.’

‘Hey, I said some pretty nice things. Lots of mushy crap about how sorry I was and how I’d make it up to you by getting you that bouncing castle you wanted for you birthday-’ I cut myself off, biting my lip. Bringing up our first date wasn’t my best move ever, accident or no.

‘Shut up,’ said a voice quietly from right behind me and I turned around, biting my lip and averting my gaze.

‘I’m sorry,’ I muttered, looking at the floor. ‘I-’

‘No,’ Taylor said softly, and I looked up. ‘Shut up.’

His lips crashed against mine as his arms wound around my neck, mine snaking around his waist to support him as he leaned forwards into me. After a second I kissed him back, and our lips started moving in sync. Butterflies took flight in my tummy as Taylor’s fingers wound into my hair, pulling me closer, and squeezed him tightly against my body, hardly able to believe what was happening. It was like waking up after a sleeping for eighteen months.

Taylor nudged me backwards and my back slammed into the door; his knee pushed between my legs and he started rubbing torturously slowly. One of his hands moved down across my chest, around my waist and landed on my butt; a second later I heard a key turning in the lock and panicked, wrenching myself away from him. But when I looked down I saw that my own key was locking the door from this side – Taylor had taken it from my pocket. With the key in the lock, nobody would be able to open it from the outside.

I looked up, surprised, and Taylor smirked at me, reaching up with one hand to grab the front of my t-shirt and pull me closer to him.

‘What are we doing?’ I asked when our faces were centimetres apart, both of us breathing heavily.

Taylor looked up at me – a year apart hadn’t changed the two centimetre height difference between us – his eyes big and dark given our proximity.

‘I’m still in love with you,’ he whispered, and I leaned forwards to capture his lips again, the words sending my heart racing and causing my mind to shut down. He kissed me back, and I ran my tongue across his bottom lip instinctively, not even thinking about what I was doing. Taylor’s mouth opened and our tongues met midway, fighting for dominance.

There had never really been anyone naturally dominant in our relationship; we had taken turns being on the top and the bottom, never really thinking about it or discussing it, just doing whichever came naturally. I was older and a little taller, and anybody would have said I was the leader in our friendship, but I sometimes Taylor would just take charge of a situation – sexual or otherwise – which made me think that maybe just let me be the leader most of them time.

Taylor pulled away from me and caught my hand, tugging me over to the bed and crawling onto it, pulling me down on top of him. I hovered over him for a second, reading the mixture of love and lust in his eyes, and whispered, ‘I’m still in love with you too.’ Like it had ever been in question.

Taylor pulled my lips down to meet his once again, and this time I handed over dominance without a fight, enjoying the way his tongue probed my mouth, sucking on it occasionally, causing him to moan. It was a sound I hadn’t heard in so long that it turned me on even more quickly than usual, and I moaned back in response.

Suddenly the world shifted and I was laying on the bed on my back; he’d always had surprising strength when it came to flipping me over. Though I guess since I’d lost so much weight it had to be even easier now.

‘You’re going to have to stop being so sexy,’ Taylor murmured as his lips attached to my neck, kissing slowly and deliberately towards my soft spot, as if he remembered where it was. Of course he did. His lips alighted on it a few times teasingly and I bit my lip, but once he started nibbling and sucking on it I couldn’t hold it in anymore; I moaned quietly, getting louder as he started grinding his hips against mine.

We both froze when there was a knock on the door.

‘Jake?’ Ryan’s unmistakable voice called from outside. ‘Are you in there? My key won’t work.’

Taylor and I looked at each other, wide-eyed, and to my shock Taylor clasped a hand over his mouth and snorted, trying to silence his giggles. His other hand slipped under the waistband of my jeans, which I now saw were open, and he started to massage my bulge even as I tried to scramble away from him. It was all in vain; I fell back against the pillows and moaned loudly, cursing him and loving him all at once.

‘Shit,’ Ryan’s voice squeaked from outside. ‘Sorry!’ he called, and then he was gone.

‘Taylor, you dick!’ I hissed, ripping his hand out of my pants as he collapsed against me, his head landing on my chest, giggling.

‘Your dick more like,’ he snorted.

‘Are you drunk?’ I demanded.

Taylor looked up at me, surprised. ‘This would have happened a lot sooner if I was allowed to drink,’ he said. ‘I can’t though, with my meds...’

‘Oh,’ I said, and wrapped my arms around him protectively. ‘Do they work? Your medication, I mean.’

He shrugged. ‘Not really. I mean, the tranquilizers work, they do their job and put me to sleep for twelve hours, but the others just make me sort of numb.’

‘Why don’t you go off them?’

Taylor made a face. ‘My doctor won’t let me and, well, Ryan makes sure I actually take them.’

‘Here,’ I said, sitting up and opening my bedside drawer, taking out a packet of painkillers. I popped one out of the blister pack and showed it to him in my hand. I put it up to my mouth and pretended to swallow the painkiller, letting my hand drop back down to my side.

‘Um. You can swallow pills dry?’ he asked, looking perplexed.

‘Nope.’ I held up my hand and relaxed my adductor policis, the muscle at the base of my thumb, to reveal the pill still hidden inside there.

Taylor grinned. ‘Show me,’ he demanded, taking the pill from my hand, so I showed him how to successfully palm small objects.

‘If you have trouble hiding more than one at a time,’ I said, ‘just wear long sleeves and bend your wrist like this,’ I showed him, ‘so the pill falls down your sleeve and leaves your hand free for the next one.’

‘When did you learn that?!’

I shrugged. ‘Last year. Quick and easy way to convince the people who love you that you’re still eating sweets,’ I added lightly.

Taylor crawled on top of me so he was sitting on my abdomen, and kissed me full on the mouth, then turned around so he was sitting on my chest, facing away from me. I blinked at his butt a few times as I felt him pull my shirt up to leave my concave tummy exposed. I yelped and giggled when I felt something cold move across my skin for a few minutes; then he turned around and kissed me again.

‘I should go,’ he said, making a face, and I felt my heart sink. Was this a one-time thing? ‘What are you doing tomorrow?’ he asked excitedly. ‘Ryan’s got another exam.’

‘Uh. Nothing, I guess.’

‘You wanna go to the skate park?’ He grinned at me; apparently the idea that I didn’t want to be his bit on the side never occurred to him.

‘Definitely.’ I knew I wasn’t his bit on the side.

-----------------------------

Shortly after Taylor left I remembered something, and pulled up my t-shirt to peer down at my stomach. Drawn there in pen was a speech bubble coming from my naval, and inside this he had written, upside-down so it was facing me, FEED ME!

I stared at it for a few seconds, then jumped out of bed and called Kelly as I shrugged my coat back on.

‘Sup?’ she asked answered after a few rings.

‘You busy?’

‘Nope. Why?’

‘You wanna go get lunch?’