Kiss Me Like you Did -IGHS Sequel-
Chapter Twelve
Jake’s POV
‘What are you doing in here?’ I jumped as Kelly’s voice whispered at me from the darkness. Of my own wardrobe.
‘What are you doing in here?’ I hissed, clutching my chest as my heart rate slowed down from the shock.
‘Hiding from Halley,’ she said glumly. ‘I tried to break up with her and she went psycho.’
‘That’s what you get for dating your roommate,’ I said distractedly, trying to see through the cracks in the wardrobe door what was going on outside.
‘I’ll have to apply for a room transfer after Christmas,’ she mumbled dejectedly. ‘What are you doing?’
‘Trying to see what’s going on outside,’ I whispered.
‘Why? Is Taylor breaking up with Ryan out there?!’
‘No, he’s doing that in his room. It’s cos Noah just came over and he’s talking to Johnny.’
‘Explains the silence... Why is that a big deal?’
‘Cos Johnny has a massive-ass crush on Noah.’
‘Ooh!’ Kelly whispered excitedly, sitting forwards to try and see out as well.
I had gotten back from Taylor’s room less than five minutes ago and hadn’t even been able to tell Johnny what had happened before there was a knock on the door. Johnny had been so surprised when he’d answered it he’d actually squealed, ‘Noah!’ in his rusty, underused voice, and I’d jumped in here to give them some privacy before I could even think about what I was doing.
Where are Jake and Ryan? I saw Noah asking from my uncomfortable place pressed against my clothes in the wardrobe.
If there was ASL for a prolonged “Uhhhhh...” I knew Johnny would have used it. Ryan’s with Taylor. Jake’s gone... To the bathroom.
Oh. So... You and Jake, huh?
Yeah...
I thought you... How long have you liked him? Noah’s hands were shaky; even I could see that from in here. I wanted to burst out of the wardrobe and tell Johnny it was okay, we didn’t have to pretend anymore, Ryan knew about Taylor and I. But I knew I should let this one play out.
Couple months I guess, Johnny lied, and I flinched. Beside me I could see Kelly shaking her head from my peripheral vision.
Oh.
Why? Johnny asked daringly, and I saw his jaw clench slightly with nervousness and determination.
No reason, Noah shrugged, and I saw Johnny roll his eyes.
Yeah, okay. Why did you come over then?
I just... I... Noah’s hands dropped limply to his sides and he shrugged in defeat. Johnny’s hands didn’t move. I just thought you liked me, Noah finished eventually.
I saw Johnny’s eyes widen and Kelly shook with excitement beside me.
I did... Johnny said tentatively. I do. It’s complicated...
No it’s not! I tried to scream at him with my mind. Just tell him!
I guess it worked, because Johnny motion-blurted out the whole story, his hands moving so fast I could see Noah frowning in concentration on them in a way he didn’t usually have to.
Jake and Taylor are messing around behind Ryan’s back. I think they’re getting back together. Ryan heard them together and he wanted to know who was with his roommate and obviously Jake couldn’t say it was Taylor and nobody seemed to know what to say so I said it was me even though it wasn’t and even though I like you because I thought there was no point in liking you because I thought you didn’t like me anyway.
Johnny’s hands fell back to his side as Noah stared at him.
So you do like me? Noah asked after a few seconds.
Johnny bit his lip. Yeah. Like, a lot.
Oh. Noah looked nervous now too.
‘Kiss him you fool!’ Kelly shouted from beside me and I jumped, as did Noah. Johnny had no idea she was even in the room, but Noah didn’t seem to question this apparent voice from above and did as she said; stepping forward and grabbing Johnny by the waist, pressing his lips to my “boyfriend’s”. ‘Woohoo!’ Kelly whooped from beside me, and we both fell out of the wardrobe with her exuberance.
Noah pulled away from Johnny at the noise, and Johnny followed his gaze, blushing when he saw Kelly and I. He’d known I was hiding in the room somewhere of course, but he didn’t know I had been able to see the whole exchange, not to mention Kelly.
You’re cheating on me! I accused him, but grinned. Noah wrapped his arms around Johnny from behind and rested his head on his shoulder; the way they fell into coupledom so naturally reminded me of how it was with Taylor and I. After we had admitted our attraction to one another – stubbornly after a combined total of three years denial – it had been easy to act like we’d been together all our lives.
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‘Hang on,’ Kelly sat forward later and looked at me. We were the only two in my room now; I didn’t even want to know where Noah and Johnny had gone. We were sitting side by side on my bed, our backs against the pillows, me reading a book and she trying to figure out how to block Halley’s calls on her phone.
‘What?’ I asked, looking up from my book.
‘You said Taylor is breaking up with Ryan?’
‘Yeah, I think so. I mean, Ryan caught us together so...’
‘Define together.’
‘Naked on Taylor’s bed with his fingers up my butt.’
Kelly pretended to retch. ‘Not so much detail next time, yeah? How did Ryan react?’
‘He didn’t. Just said it was time for Taylor’s meds, and then Taylor refused to take them...’ I shrugged. ‘I left. I think his roommate prefers me to Ryan though.’
‘The ultimate stamp of approval,’ Kelly said sarcastically. ‘How long ago was that though?’
I looked at my phone to check the time. ‘Like two hours or so...’ I said, frowning as I realised what she was getting at. Even the most difficult break-up shouldn’t take this long, should it?
Then we heard the key turning in the door.
Taylor’s POV
‘Here,’ Ryan said, handing me a bottle of water.
‘No Ryan,’ I sighed, pushing his hand away. ‘I told you, I’m not taking them.’
‘Of course you’re taking them. You know what will happen if you don’t.’
‘No, we don’t know what will happen if I don’t. I’ve never not taken them. I could be fine. I could be better than fine.’
‘Taylor, this really isn’t the time for this. Just take them for fuck’s sake.’
‘Actually, I haven’t taken them in a couple days. And I’m fine.’
Ryan sighed and let his hands drop to his lap. ‘That’s because fluoxetine takes longer than that to drain from your system. You’re surviving on trace doses. If you don’t take these now, you could get a lot worse very soon.’
I could feel my resilience beginning to waver.
‘On top of which, I will call your parents if you don’t take them.’
And my resilience shot back up again. ‘Don’t threaten me,’ I snapped. ‘My parents would take my side anyway.’
‘They told me to look after you.’
‘On their planet “looking after” someone doesn’t mean drugging them up daily.’
‘I’m not the one that prescribed these to you Taylor! I’m just making sure you don’t stop taking care of yourself!’
I groaned and leaned back against the wall. I was still naked, with just the bed sheet draped over my waist, and was acutely aware of the fact that Landon was reclining on his bed, watching us with his arms crossed over his chest with shameless curiosity, and had been doing so as we had the same argument over and over again for the past hour and a half.
‘How can I take care of myself when you’re constantly sitting on my chest controlling everything I do?’
‘If I controlled everything you did,’ Ryan said quietly, looking at the ground, ‘you wouldn’t be having sex with Jake behind my back.’
I flinched guiltily. ‘We weren’t having sex...’ I said quietly, but I knew it was useless. Everybody in the room was aware that if we hadn’t been interrupted, that’s where Jake and I would have ended up sooner or later.
Ryan stayed silent, but pushed the pills and bottle on me again, and I took them from him this time, but let my hands rest on my lap.
‘We should break up,’ I said softly, staring that the meniscus of the water but not really seeing it.
Wordlessly, Ryan stood up and walked out of the room.
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‘Congrats dude,’ Landon grinned as soon as Ryan had shut the door behind him. I guess it was decent of him to wait til he was out of the room, considering how he’d treated Ryan before.
‘Don’t, man,’ I said rubbing my face. I felt terrible. I don’t think I’ve ever fucked somebody over so badly. I didn’t even apologise...
‘Taylor, Ryan is a creep. He just is. Now you can be with Jake, and Jake is totally cool.’
‘How can you think you know these people when you’ve barely even spoken to them?’
Landon shrugged. ‘It’s my job. If I were you right now, I’d go find Jake. You obviously need a shoulder and mine’s clearly not gonna do.’
I grinned weakly at him. ‘If you’re sure you’re over your voyeurism, I might even get dressed,’ I said pointedly. Landon rolled his eyes but turned around and I grabbed my clothes and pulled them on. ‘Hey, Landon?’
‘Yeah?’
‘You know what you said earlier about putting a sock on the door?’
‘Yeah?’
‘Is that really what you’re supposed to do?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Oh. I need to get some more socks...’
‘You’re sick,’ Landon admonished me, throwing a pen at me, but he was laughing. I dodged the pen and ducked out of the room, fishing for my phone in my jeans pocket to call Jake and find out where he was.
Jake’s POV
‘Taylor?’ I asked, surprised, when he walked into the room. I opened my arms naturally and he crawled onto the bed and into them, resting his head on my shoulder.
‘I forgot Ryan had given me a key,’ he said monotonously. ‘I found it in my pocket.’
‘Are you okay?’ I asked tentatively, even though I knew he wasn’t.
He shrugged, and I glanced at Kelly, who looked perplexed. ‘I broke up with him.’
I was finding it hard not to feel happy rather than sympathetic at this news, but I tried. ‘How’d he take it?’
‘Weirdly. He just left without saying anything.’
‘I guess I’m gonna need a new roommate too,’ I muttered to Kelly.
‘That’s what you get for dating your roommate’s boyfriend,’ she mimicked what I’d said to her earlier in the closet.
‘Do you wanna go somewhere?’ I asked Taylor. At home I would have known exactly what to do; take him to the skate park and then back to mine for DVDs and a nap. Here, things were a little different.
‘No... I just wanna stay here. Can I go to sleep?’
I bit my lip, hesitating. Ryan could come back at any point. ‘Sure,’ I said. Then, to Kelly, ‘Joop laki bilport?’ Keep a lookout?
‘Sure,’ she said. She was probably grateful that even though I was kicking her out, I was giving her something to do so she wouldn’t have to go back to her dorm room and be raped by Halley.
Kelly climbed off the bed and closed the door behind her after she left. Taylor and I sat up and climbed under the covers; I pulled him closer to me and wrapped my arms around him, resting my chin on the top of his head as he buried his face in my chest.
‘Tay?’
‘Hmm?’
‘I’m not... I don’t know much about your illness. So I don’t know if I should be worried or not, but I am.’
Taylor pulled his head back and looked up at me, smiling. ‘You’re awesome,’ he said, and kissed me on the chin. ‘But no. This is just regular, post-break-up tension. I’ll be fine when I wake up.’
I felt my face clear and my shoulders relax as the tension drained out of my body. ‘Okay.’
Taylor rested his head back against my chest. ‘And, by the way, we’re back together.’
Even though I had suspected this might be the case, I felt my tummy flip over and my heart started racing. Taylor laughed. ‘I can feel that,’ he told me, pressing his cheek against where my heart is, and I blushed.
‘Shut up,’ I mumbled into his hair.
Taylor wrapped his arms tight around my middle and squeezed. Seconds later, his grip relaxed as he drifted off to sleep.
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And he’d been telling the truth. When he woke up, he was fine. Better than fine. He was the old Taylor. And after a couple of weeks, I even returned to the old Jake. I put on weight, became more talkative, could even survive being apart from him for Christmas simply because I knew that once I got back to Rhode Island he’d be there, waiting for me, loving me. It was the weirdest, greatest, most oddly familiar feeling in the world. My parents were thrilled. His parents were thrilled. His therapist said she’d seen a remarkable improvement, and though she wasn’t happy that he’d stopped taking his medication, she grudgingly gave him permission to stay off them, under supervision. Life was looking up.
The only dark spot in our otherwise blissful existence was the constant, never-ending, bleak presence of Ryan.
‘What are you doing in here?’ I jumped as Kelly’s voice whispered at me from the darkness. Of my own wardrobe.
‘What are you doing in here?’ I hissed, clutching my chest as my heart rate slowed down from the shock.
‘Hiding from Halley,’ she said glumly. ‘I tried to break up with her and she went psycho.’
‘That’s what you get for dating your roommate,’ I said distractedly, trying to see through the cracks in the wardrobe door what was going on outside.
‘I’ll have to apply for a room transfer after Christmas,’ she mumbled dejectedly. ‘What are you doing?’
‘Trying to see what’s going on outside,’ I whispered.
‘Why? Is Taylor breaking up with Ryan out there?!’
‘No, he’s doing that in his room. It’s cos Noah just came over and he’s talking to Johnny.’
‘Explains the silence... Why is that a big deal?’
‘Cos Johnny has a massive-ass crush on Noah.’
‘Ooh!’ Kelly whispered excitedly, sitting forwards to try and see out as well.
I had gotten back from Taylor’s room less than five minutes ago and hadn’t even been able to tell Johnny what had happened before there was a knock on the door. Johnny had been so surprised when he’d answered it he’d actually squealed, ‘Noah!’ in his rusty, underused voice, and I’d jumped in here to give them some privacy before I could even think about what I was doing.
Where are Jake and Ryan? I saw Noah asking from my uncomfortable place pressed against my clothes in the wardrobe.
If there was ASL for a prolonged “Uhhhhh...” I knew Johnny would have used it. Ryan’s with Taylor. Jake’s gone... To the bathroom.
Oh. So... You and Jake, huh?
Yeah...
I thought you... How long have you liked him? Noah’s hands were shaky; even I could see that from in here. I wanted to burst out of the wardrobe and tell Johnny it was okay, we didn’t have to pretend anymore, Ryan knew about Taylor and I. But I knew I should let this one play out.
Couple months I guess, Johnny lied, and I flinched. Beside me I could see Kelly shaking her head from my peripheral vision.
Oh.
Why? Johnny asked daringly, and I saw his jaw clench slightly with nervousness and determination.
No reason, Noah shrugged, and I saw Johnny roll his eyes.
Yeah, okay. Why did you come over then?
I just... I... Noah’s hands dropped limply to his sides and he shrugged in defeat. Johnny’s hands didn’t move. I just thought you liked me, Noah finished eventually.
I saw Johnny’s eyes widen and Kelly shook with excitement beside me.
I did... Johnny said tentatively. I do. It’s complicated...
No it’s not! I tried to scream at him with my mind. Just tell him!
I guess it worked, because Johnny motion-blurted out the whole story, his hands moving so fast I could see Noah frowning in concentration on them in a way he didn’t usually have to.
Jake and Taylor are messing around behind Ryan’s back. I think they’re getting back together. Ryan heard them together and he wanted to know who was with his roommate and obviously Jake couldn’t say it was Taylor and nobody seemed to know what to say so I said it was me even though it wasn’t and even though I like you because I thought there was no point in liking you because I thought you didn’t like me anyway.
Johnny’s hands fell back to his side as Noah stared at him.
So you do like me? Noah asked after a few seconds.
Johnny bit his lip. Yeah. Like, a lot.
Oh. Noah looked nervous now too.
‘Kiss him you fool!’ Kelly shouted from beside me and I jumped, as did Noah. Johnny had no idea she was even in the room, but Noah didn’t seem to question this apparent voice from above and did as she said; stepping forward and grabbing Johnny by the waist, pressing his lips to my “boyfriend’s”. ‘Woohoo!’ Kelly whooped from beside me, and we both fell out of the wardrobe with her exuberance.
Noah pulled away from Johnny at the noise, and Johnny followed his gaze, blushing when he saw Kelly and I. He’d known I was hiding in the room somewhere of course, but he didn’t know I had been able to see the whole exchange, not to mention Kelly.
You’re cheating on me! I accused him, but grinned. Noah wrapped his arms around Johnny from behind and rested his head on his shoulder; the way they fell into coupledom so naturally reminded me of how it was with Taylor and I. After we had admitted our attraction to one another – stubbornly after a combined total of three years denial – it had been easy to act like we’d been together all our lives.
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‘Hang on,’ Kelly sat forward later and looked at me. We were the only two in my room now; I didn’t even want to know where Noah and Johnny had gone. We were sitting side by side on my bed, our backs against the pillows, me reading a book and she trying to figure out how to block Halley’s calls on her phone.
‘What?’ I asked, looking up from my book.
‘You said Taylor is breaking up with Ryan?’
‘Yeah, I think so. I mean, Ryan caught us together so...’
‘Define together.’
‘Naked on Taylor’s bed with his fingers up my butt.’
Kelly pretended to retch. ‘Not so much detail next time, yeah? How did Ryan react?’
‘He didn’t. Just said it was time for Taylor’s meds, and then Taylor refused to take them...’ I shrugged. ‘I left. I think his roommate prefers me to Ryan though.’
‘The ultimate stamp of approval,’ Kelly said sarcastically. ‘How long ago was that though?’
I looked at my phone to check the time. ‘Like two hours or so...’ I said, frowning as I realised what she was getting at. Even the most difficult break-up shouldn’t take this long, should it?
Then we heard the key turning in the door.
Taylor’s POV
‘Here,’ Ryan said, handing me a bottle of water.
‘No Ryan,’ I sighed, pushing his hand away. ‘I told you, I’m not taking them.’
‘Of course you’re taking them. You know what will happen if you don’t.’
‘No, we don’t know what will happen if I don’t. I’ve never not taken them. I could be fine. I could be better than fine.’
‘Taylor, this really isn’t the time for this. Just take them for fuck’s sake.’
‘Actually, I haven’t taken them in a couple days. And I’m fine.’
Ryan sighed and let his hands drop to his lap. ‘That’s because fluoxetine takes longer than that to drain from your system. You’re surviving on trace doses. If you don’t take these now, you could get a lot worse very soon.’
I could feel my resilience beginning to waver.
‘On top of which, I will call your parents if you don’t take them.’
And my resilience shot back up again. ‘Don’t threaten me,’ I snapped. ‘My parents would take my side anyway.’
‘They told me to look after you.’
‘On their planet “looking after” someone doesn’t mean drugging them up daily.’
‘I’m not the one that prescribed these to you Taylor! I’m just making sure you don’t stop taking care of yourself!’
I groaned and leaned back against the wall. I was still naked, with just the bed sheet draped over my waist, and was acutely aware of the fact that Landon was reclining on his bed, watching us with his arms crossed over his chest with shameless curiosity, and had been doing so as we had the same argument over and over again for the past hour and a half.
‘How can I take care of myself when you’re constantly sitting on my chest controlling everything I do?’
‘If I controlled everything you did,’ Ryan said quietly, looking at the ground, ‘you wouldn’t be having sex with Jake behind my back.’
I flinched guiltily. ‘We weren’t having sex...’ I said quietly, but I knew it was useless. Everybody in the room was aware that if we hadn’t been interrupted, that’s where Jake and I would have ended up sooner or later.
Ryan stayed silent, but pushed the pills and bottle on me again, and I took them from him this time, but let my hands rest on my lap.
‘We should break up,’ I said softly, staring that the meniscus of the water but not really seeing it.
Wordlessly, Ryan stood up and walked out of the room.
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‘Congrats dude,’ Landon grinned as soon as Ryan had shut the door behind him. I guess it was decent of him to wait til he was out of the room, considering how he’d treated Ryan before.
‘Don’t, man,’ I said rubbing my face. I felt terrible. I don’t think I’ve ever fucked somebody over so badly. I didn’t even apologise...
‘Taylor, Ryan is a creep. He just is. Now you can be with Jake, and Jake is totally cool.’
‘How can you think you know these people when you’ve barely even spoken to them?’
Landon shrugged. ‘It’s my job. If I were you right now, I’d go find Jake. You obviously need a shoulder and mine’s clearly not gonna do.’
I grinned weakly at him. ‘If you’re sure you’re over your voyeurism, I might even get dressed,’ I said pointedly. Landon rolled his eyes but turned around and I grabbed my clothes and pulled them on. ‘Hey, Landon?’
‘Yeah?’
‘You know what you said earlier about putting a sock on the door?’
‘Yeah?’
‘Is that really what you’re supposed to do?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Oh. I need to get some more socks...’
‘You’re sick,’ Landon admonished me, throwing a pen at me, but he was laughing. I dodged the pen and ducked out of the room, fishing for my phone in my jeans pocket to call Jake and find out where he was.
Jake’s POV
‘Taylor?’ I asked, surprised, when he walked into the room. I opened my arms naturally and he crawled onto the bed and into them, resting his head on my shoulder.
‘I forgot Ryan had given me a key,’ he said monotonously. ‘I found it in my pocket.’
‘Are you okay?’ I asked tentatively, even though I knew he wasn’t.
He shrugged, and I glanced at Kelly, who looked perplexed. ‘I broke up with him.’
I was finding it hard not to feel happy rather than sympathetic at this news, but I tried. ‘How’d he take it?’
‘Weirdly. He just left without saying anything.’
‘I guess I’m gonna need a new roommate too,’ I muttered to Kelly.
‘That’s what you get for dating your roommate’s boyfriend,’ she mimicked what I’d said to her earlier in the closet.
‘Do you wanna go somewhere?’ I asked Taylor. At home I would have known exactly what to do; take him to the skate park and then back to mine for DVDs and a nap. Here, things were a little different.
‘No... I just wanna stay here. Can I go to sleep?’
I bit my lip, hesitating. Ryan could come back at any point. ‘Sure,’ I said. Then, to Kelly, ‘Joop laki bilport?’ Keep a lookout?
‘Sure,’ she said. She was probably grateful that even though I was kicking her out, I was giving her something to do so she wouldn’t have to go back to her dorm room and be raped by Halley.
Kelly climbed off the bed and closed the door behind her after she left. Taylor and I sat up and climbed under the covers; I pulled him closer to me and wrapped my arms around him, resting my chin on the top of his head as he buried his face in my chest.
‘Tay?’
‘Hmm?’
‘I’m not... I don’t know much about your illness. So I don’t know if I should be worried or not, but I am.’
Taylor pulled his head back and looked up at me, smiling. ‘You’re awesome,’ he said, and kissed me on the chin. ‘But no. This is just regular, post-break-up tension. I’ll be fine when I wake up.’
I felt my face clear and my shoulders relax as the tension drained out of my body. ‘Okay.’
Taylor rested his head back against my chest. ‘And, by the way, we’re back together.’
Even though I had suspected this might be the case, I felt my tummy flip over and my heart started racing. Taylor laughed. ‘I can feel that,’ he told me, pressing his cheek against where my heart is, and I blushed.
‘Shut up,’ I mumbled into his hair.
Taylor wrapped his arms tight around my middle and squeezed. Seconds later, his grip relaxed as he drifted off to sleep.
-----------------------------------
And he’d been telling the truth. When he woke up, he was fine. Better than fine. He was the old Taylor. And after a couple of weeks, I even returned to the old Jake. I put on weight, became more talkative, could even survive being apart from him for Christmas simply because I knew that once I got back to Rhode Island he’d be there, waiting for me, loving me. It was the weirdest, greatest, most oddly familiar feeling in the world. My parents were thrilled. His parents were thrilled. His therapist said she’d seen a remarkable improvement, and though she wasn’t happy that he’d stopped taking his medication, she grudgingly gave him permission to stay off them, under supervision. Life was looking up.
The only dark spot in our otherwise blissful existence was the constant, never-ending, bleak presence of Ryan.