Kiss Me Like you Did -IGHS Sequel-

Taylor’s POV

When I woke up I was sweating.

Which only ever means one thing.

‘Ryan?’ I asked groggily without opening my eyes.

‘Shh,’ his voice came from beside me, near my right ear. Of course he was already awake. He was whatever I needed him to be.

‘What happened?’ I asked, squeezing my eyes tight shut, not wanting to open them. Whatever had happened that meant I’d needed to be made medically unconscious for the night, I didn’t want to see it if it was staring me in the face.

‘Do you want some water?’Ryan asked, well used to how I wake up with a scratchy dry throat after being tranquilized.

‘Yes please,’ I whispered. If he didn’t want to tell me then it must have been serious. I felt his weight shift off the bed and a few moments later the mattress sank again as he sat on the edge. Finally opening my eyes, I propped myself up a little and drank gratefully from the glass of water he’d handed me. ‘Please tell me,’ I whispered finally, handing him back the empty glass, which he went to put on the desk.

A slight groan came from across the room and I looked around, surprised. As soon as I took in the interior of the room, the events of yesterday came rushing back to me, more clearly than ever before.

‘Jake,’ I gasped, staring at the barely moving lump in the bed at the other side of the room, a mere fifteen feet from me. The duvet on the bed was rising and falling gently with his breathing, but every now and again it would twitch as he groaned.

I knew Jake like I knew my own heartbeat. He was in pain.

I scrambled out of bed and hurried across the room, waving at Ryan to be quiet when he called after me. When I reached Jake’s bed I hesitated, biting my lip. Before I could second guess myself too much and have another freak-out, Jake groaned again, and I climbed up on the bed on my knees, putting my hand out and resting it on his duvet-covered shoulder tentatively. I shook him gently, and whispered, ‘Jake.’

‘Hmm,’ Jake quietened and stopped twitching, his face relaxing. I gazed at him for a moment, transfixed. His cheekbones were sharper and his cheeks more hollow than I remembered. And his eyes were bigger... His eyes. He was awake.

I gasped in shock and tried to move backwards, misjudging the distance and ending up on the floor. Jake sat up, bewildered, and peered down at me. His face stretched into a grin, making his wasted, hollow appearance look beautiful again.

‘You’re okay,’ he said, sounding relieved. ‘That was almost as scary as when-’ he cut himself off, snapping his mouth shut, and I saw a flicker of pain pass through his eyes. I knew what he was thinking about; the time I’d been drugged in a gay club and he and Kelly, along with some others, had had to drive me home, terrified of what might have happened. The next morning, Jake and I told each other we...

‘Sorry,’ I mumbled, standing up. ‘What were you dreaming about?’

‘Huh?’ A shadow crossed over Jake’s face, replaced quickly by confused expression. Jake was always trying not to worry me.

‘You were having a nightmare,’ I said simply. ‘What was it about?’

‘Um. I don’t remember.’

I took a step forward and crawled back onto the bed, sitting beside him but facing him. ‘Liar.’

We sat there for a moment just staring at each other. I knew that despite everything I’d been through over the last fourteen months, I looked pretty much the same. Neither my illness nor my medication had rendered my appearance much, though I’m sure Jake noticed the little things, like how my eyes were duller or how the set of my mouth had changed. Things only the people who knew me before and loved me would notice.

He, on the other hand, looked like a different version of himself. He was a lot skinnier, and his face was paler, with dark purple shadows around his eyes. He looked like a drug addict.

Instinctually I reached out and grabbed one of his wrists, dragging his arm towards me. Of course it was unmarked; that’s not what caused my tummy to flip over. It was the first time I’d touched him over a year. His skin felt dry, but soft, it felt like my skin remembered it. I could feel the same spark travel along my arm and into my core, and I raised my eyes to look at him before allowing myself to fall forwards into him, wrapping my arms around his neck.

I felt safer than I had at any point over the last year – safer than at the clinic, than with my parents, than with Ryan – when I felt his arms snake around my waist and hold me tightly. I felt like I’d come home.

I sighed gently as I let my face drop onto his bony shoulder, and I felt him burying his in my hair. I allowed myself to drift into a state of contentment, until I heard a door slam, and I pulled away from Jake in alarm, looking towards the dorm room door.

I switched my gaze back to Ryan, but he was gone.

I sighed. ‘I should go after him...’ I muttered.

‘Taylor...’ Jake said in a choked voice, and I lifted my gaze to look at him.

‘I’ll come back,’ I blurted before I could stop myself. ‘I’ll come back and we’ll hang out. We’ll spend the whole day together.’

Jake looked surprised. ‘Really?’

‘Yeah. Just give me twenty minutes.’

Before he could say anything else, I scrambled down off the bed and slipped my shoes back on, then walked over to the door, nearly barrelling somebody over as I tried to leave. Kelly was standing in the doorway with her hand in the air, curled into a fist, clearly about to knock.

‘Hey Kel,’ I grinned, wrapping my arms around her surprised reaction before she could answer. After a second she hugged me back, then her arms squeezed tighter until it felt like she was squeezing the life out of me.

When I pulled away her eyes were wet. She smiled at me, then lifted her hand and slapped me across the face.

‘Wha...?!’ I asked shocked, my hand going up to my face and cupping my now burning cheek.

‘Jesus Kel,’ Jake snapped from behind us and I turned around to see him getting out of bed.

‘What was that for?’ I demanded.

‘You know what it was for,’ Kelly hissed. ‘It was for breaking-’

‘Kaku ragi oog,’ Jake said from behind me and I frowned. I recognised their secret twin language from we were little, but I’d never understood it.

‘Yeah Kelly,’ I said anyway. ‘Kaku ragi oog.’

Kelly glared at me for a minute, but couldn’t stop the grin from spreading across her face eventually. ‘Come here,’ she said happily, pulling me in for another hug.

‘Jesus,’ I muttered. ‘Did you get bipolar while I was away?’

‘Kaku ragi oog,’ she muttered, eventually releasing me.

‘Twenty minutes from now,’ I said to Jake, and practically jogged down the hall, leaving the twins staring after me perplexedly. I tugged my phone out of my pocket as I went, scrolling through my contacts til I got to Ryan’s number and pressing “Call”.

‘Hello?’ he sounded normal enough, but I knew he was upset.

‘Where are you?’ I asked.

‘I... went for a walk.’

‘Can we meet up?’

He hesitated, then sighed. I knew he wouldn’t be able to hold out on me for long. ‘Sure. I’ll see you outside in a few minutes.’

I hung up as I exited Cherrytree Hall, and sat on a bench by the door, squinting in the early September sunshine. I felt new. I felt different to how I had felt yesterday. And I knew why.

‘Hey,’ Ryan said as he dropped onto the bench beside me.

‘Why’d you take off?’ I asked, though I already had a fair idea.

He shrugged. I could tell he was trying hard not to seem jealous, but it wasn’t working. ‘I thought you’d want to spend some time with... Him.,’

‘I do. We’re gonna spend the day together. Is that okay?’

Ryan shrugged again. ‘I guess.’

Feeling guilty, I reached out and slipped my hand into his. ‘Jake was my best friend for fourteen years before he was my boyfriend,’ I said gently. I didn’t mention that I’d been painfully in love with him for two of those years.

‘I know,’ Ryan said, avoiding my gaze. ‘It’s fine, really. I’ll see you tonight okay? Don’t forget your meds.’ With which he kissed me quickly on the cheek and walked away, his hands buried deep in his pockets.

Jake’s POV

‘What was that all about?’ I demanded as soon as Kelly had closed the door behind her.

‘What?’ she asked innocently, despite the fact that that may well have been one of the longest sentences I’d said to anyone in over a year.

‘You know what,’ I said, crossing my arms over my chest and pinning her with my gaze.

‘Taylor was my best friend too,’ she said defensively, ‘but you’re my twin brother. And he destroyed you when he left, Jake. Even you know you’re a ghost. You come first, and he hurt you. I love him, but I love you more.’

I tried to keep glaring at her, but the expression melted on my face and I smiled. ‘I’m supposed to be the one looking out for you,’ I muttered as she wrapped her arms around me in a hug.

‘We can look out for each other,’ she mumbled, but then pulled away and looked at me critically. ‘Though I don’t think you’ll be much of a match for Evan if he hurts me.’

I raised an eyebrow. ‘Seriously? Already?’

She shrugged. ‘He texted me last night. We’re going for coffee in...’ she checked her watch. ‘Ten minutes. Guess I’d better go.’ She kissed me on the cheek and walked towards the door, turning around to look at me before closing it behind her. ‘I like that you answer me now. By the way,’ she said, and then she was gone.

I smiled despite myself and started rifling through some boxes to find something to wear. I was still in the sweatpants and band tee I’d thrown on when I’d gotten back to the dorm room last night; I’d been in a hurry because I thought I might die if I had to see Ryan curled up around Taylor’s body on his bed for a second longer.

I had just shrugged on a fresh t-shirt over my board shorts when there was a knock on the door and I bit my lip, opening it nervously.

‘So you wanna go see if there’s a skate ramp anywhere around here?’ Taylor asked, grinning.

I couldn’t help grinning back, even though the memories were painful. But not as painful as they would have been if he hadn’t been standing right in front of me. ‘Sounds like a plan.’