Don't Let This Carry on Too Long
I'm sorry, sorry for what I've done.
My living nightmare ended.
My mind was a burning fire at the moment, I had no idea what just happened and why, and how they could get the worst out of me.
I was an animal! They made me an animal. A beast I never wanted to become!
I dashed off as soon as I could.
Heading in the direction of my house, running as fast as my jelly-like legs could carry me.
My tears tripping me up as I ran, leaving a trail of guilt behind each footstep I took.
I was crammed with guilt, no doubt it could fill a fucking sea!
Her screams were the only thing that let me know that it wasn't a dream, her piercing and pleading cries still playing havoc with my ears.
I kept apologising, "I'm sorry" I'd sob, "I don't want this either", like it fucking mattered, we were both being forced against our will to do something we didn't want to do AT ALL. I was forced upon her. I hated every moment of it. Someones daughter, walking home innocently and then THAT happens.
I, ME, I was the unlucky fucker who was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I was fucking swimming in pain, running home in the early hours of the morning, I felt like I had no sense of anything. I didn't even have money to use a payphone to ring the police.
How was I going to explain what happened to Sean? How could I tell him? Should I even tell him? We promised we'd never keep secrets, we shared everything, even sicknesses!
It would tear him into shreads if he found out, it's tearing me apart even thinking about it.
It's not as if I can lock it away from him, my clothes are ripped and I'm covered in my own blood and vomit and other bodily fluids. He'll detect something straight away.
No matter what, that memory will live on as long as I do, for both me and her.
My legs were still pacing and scrambling the paths of Ponty, slowing down in exhaustion.
I was finally at the enterance of what seemed like heaven to me, guarenteed safety.
I picked up the pace until I reached my the drive-in of my house.
I darted for the door, pulling down the handle and slamming the door behind me, locking it and throwing the key at the wall in temper.
"Ian?"
"Ian is that you?"
His voice, that's all it took for me to land on the floor in a frustrated and weeping mess.
Sean rushed into the hall, picking me up, "Ian, you-you're bleeding really heavily, what happened?" his eyes were filling up in the same way mine had been for the past hour. He led me to the living room and sat me down.
"Sean, I've just been through hell!"
My mind was a burning fire at the moment, I had no idea what just happened and why, and how they could get the worst out of me.
I was an animal! They made me an animal. A beast I never wanted to become!
I dashed off as soon as I could.
Heading in the direction of my house, running as fast as my jelly-like legs could carry me.
My tears tripping me up as I ran, leaving a trail of guilt behind each footstep I took.
I was crammed with guilt, no doubt it could fill a fucking sea!
Her screams were the only thing that let me know that it wasn't a dream, her piercing and pleading cries still playing havoc with my ears.
I kept apologising, "I'm sorry" I'd sob, "I don't want this either", like it fucking mattered, we were both being forced against our will to do something we didn't want to do AT ALL. I was forced upon her. I hated every moment of it. Someones daughter, walking home innocently and then THAT happens.
I, ME, I was the unlucky fucker who was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I was fucking swimming in pain, running home in the early hours of the morning, I felt like I had no sense of anything. I didn't even have money to use a payphone to ring the police.
How was I going to explain what happened to Sean? How could I tell him? Should I even tell him? We promised we'd never keep secrets, we shared everything, even sicknesses!
It would tear him into shreads if he found out, it's tearing me apart even thinking about it.
It's not as if I can lock it away from him, my clothes are ripped and I'm covered in my own blood and vomit and other bodily fluids. He'll detect something straight away.
No matter what, that memory will live on as long as I do, for both me and her.
My legs were still pacing and scrambling the paths of Ponty, slowing down in exhaustion.
I was finally at the enterance of what seemed like heaven to me, guarenteed safety.
I picked up the pace until I reached my the drive-in of my house.
I darted for the door, pulling down the handle and slamming the door behind me, locking it and throwing the key at the wall in temper.
"Ian?"
"Ian is that you?"
His voice, that's all it took for me to land on the floor in a frustrated and weeping mess.
Sean rushed into the hall, picking me up, "Ian, you-you're bleeding really heavily, what happened?" his eyes were filling up in the same way mine had been for the past hour. He led me to the living room and sat me down.
"Sean, I've just been through hell!"
♠ ♠ ♠
i really don't like this chapter, but i'll make an excuse and say it's too late to be writing. :')X.