Untouchable

I clearly remember our childhood, growing up together. Neighbors chasing each other in the front yard of my Victorian style home that is still to this day horribly out of date, playing tag and pushing each other over in mud puddles. Why can't we go back to those innocent days when we didn't have feelings?

We basically raised each other Aidan, don't you remember? My mom was always in the kitchen cooking, or on the phone talking to her friends about the latest neighborhood gossip; and my dad was always gone in the Army, 'serving his country to protect his only child' was his justification for always being gone, so I could sleep soundly at night. And you never mentioned your parents because you lived with your grandmother, so I never asked, it's almost like some unspoken rule. We never asked about what was never mentioned in the first place. Out of sight, out of mind.

You and I always have been polar opposites, you have blond curls, soft blue eyes and even softer facial features, you're built beautifully, like someone took one of God's most perfect angels and used them as the blue print to create you. I on the other hand, have jet black hair and dark eyes, with sharp cheekbones and a tall, scrawny and awkward figure. You always have been everyone's favorite.

Do you remember when we started growing up and I realized that I wasn't interested in girls? You held me and hugged me, wiping my tears until I couldn't shed anymore. You said to me, "It'll be alright Max,everyone will love you still. At least you don't have to worry about getting some girl pregnant," as if the fact that I was gay in this unaccepting society was no big deal when it really was. I admire to this day, how nonchalant you were in confessing to me that you like guys as well, and from then on we told each other everything. No secrets between us were hidden from the other, except for one. I didn't just like any boy, I have always liked you.

How can I not? You are always so full of joy,so hopeful, I swear you carry the summer sky in those eyes.

One crisp autumn day, I was sitting on the porch, catching the leaves as they swirled by, when you reminded me it was my birthday.

"Happy birthday Max," you said, producing a small cupcake with a single candle from behind your back and shoving it at me, "uh, I don't have a lighter, but you can still make a wish,"
I smiled and took the messy mound of icing from you, you never were much of a baker, and closed my eyes, actually making a wish.

"What did you wish?" You asked sitting next to me.

"I can't tell you, because then it won't come true."

You sighed in exasperation and laughed your infection laugh, causing out of season butterflies to erupt from their cocoons in my stomach and flutter up around my heart causing it to skip beats. If only you knew what you did to me then, what you still do to me now.

"Do you really want to know?" I responded after a few moments of silence.

You nodded enthusiastically so I took a deep breath and closed my eyes; because if I can't see your face, the rejection hurts less, "I wished I can kiss you, I have wished the same thing every time I glanced at the clock at 11:11, every time I saw a shooting star, and every time I blew out a candle, but it hasn't happened," I explained, all with my eyes closed.
"Max, open your eyes," I obeyed slowly, and as soon as I had them completely open, you brought your soft lips to mine, causing the world underneath my feet to shift uncomfortably, and my head to spin uncontrollably. But I didn't care, because it was a dream come true, you made my wish come true after all the time I spent wishing for you.

When we pulled apart, you rested your head on my shoulder and sighed. I don't know how long we sat there watching leaves fly by, but I do know that it was finally dark before we said our goodbyes and exchanged small pecks on the lips to last until tomorrow morning when we could be together again.

Our relationship lasted like this for quite a while. On days it would rain, we would run and jump like the small children we longed to be; pushing each other in puddles and laughing at our distorted reflections until my mom actually yelled at us from the kitchen window to come in and sit in front of the fire and drink hot chocolate and watch cartoons. She never found out about us, even though I think we were pretty obvious.

But like Autumn, our relationship eventually reached its Winter. You grew colder and more distant, and those sky blue eyes started wandering away from me, but I chose to ignore it until it was too late. In Spring you broke up with me saying that you were done lying to yourself, you wanted to date girls, but that we could still be friends. I cried all night and day and hid in my room desperately searching for ways that I could win you back and make you mine again. In the middle of Summer I decided to wait until our season rolled around again and I could wish on another birthday candle that I could make you mine again, and it would work. Because remember? You make my wishes turn into reality.

My birthday rolled around and you never showed up with a candle or a cupcake, I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. After all, it had been 11 months and twelve days since you last came over, why would today have been any different? But for some odd reason, I couldn't bring myself to get up off the porch and walk up the all too familiar staircase to sit in my lonely room in my cold bed.

"Please, Aidan, we can be untouchable," I muttered to myself as I absentmindedly fiddled with a crunchy leaf that had fallen silently onto my dirty converse shoe.

"I know, that's why I came back," I started at the sound of your voice and rubbed my eyes to make sure I wasn't dreaming.

There you stood,with a fresh button down white shirt and black slacks with a cupcake in your hand,"Happy birthday.''