This Turbulence is Beautiful.

After getting on the train south-bound to Weybridge rail station, I relaxed and tried to warm up a little. I pulled my ‘teenage’ iPod from the top of my satchel and pushed the headphones into my ears, turning up the volume so that I felt that familiar almost-stab-of-pain whenever the vocals kicked in. The lady next to me looked me up and down, frowning slightly after she was done observing. I fought the urge to give her the finger, bit my lip, and politely turned away, pretending I hadn’t even seen the woman. I couldn’t even look out of the window without catching the woman’s eye, so instead I plucked my mobile from my pocket and started playing around with it. It sprung to life in my hands, causing me to jump and the guy sitting across from me to smirk slightly. I sighed, embarrassed, rushing to pull the earphones out of my ears, and answered the call,

“Hey Matty, what’s up?” I mentally kicked myself for using the old nickname when I hadn’t even spoken to him in such a long time.

“Errm, Rosie, I’m going to be a bit late getting to the station, but you’re on the train now right?” Matt spoke quickly, just like I remembered. If I hadn’t been so used to talking to him from our childhood years together then I wouldn’t have been able to handle it. The funny thing about Matt was that he was completely chilled with anyone he didn’t know- he wasn’t shy, he just didn’t get as excitable. I recalled this, and smiled because it meant that he felt comfortable around me after all those years.

“Yes I am, and I don’t mind waiting around for a bit.”

“Let me just call you back in 10 minutes, okay?” Matt hung up without even waiting for my reply, but I said, “Okay,” into the phone anyway to stop myself looking stupid, and pressed the hang up button on my phone, although it would do nothing. I placed the phone on the table in front of me, and sat back in my seat, popping the earphones back into my ears. I tried not to laugh as the guy in front of me jumped as his phone started vibrating on the table, and smirked right back at him. He flashed me a grin and answered his phone as calmly as he could; at least he seemed to be able to handle his embarrassment. That was something I really had to work on.

I closed my eyes and tried to block out the noise that was still filtering through my headphones. People on trains were so noisy. Maybe I should have gone for the quiet carriages. Oh, but then, I couldn’t listen to my music in there, could I? I’m sure I’d heard that somewhere…

Why is someone tapping my leg? My eyes shot open, and I looked down to see the guy sitting across from me tapping my knee with his foot. I pulled my headphones out, to hear him say, “Your phone’s ringing.”

Embarrassed again, I sighed and picked it up, muttering a small thank you to the man. He smiled again, that flashy grin, “Hey Matt,” I stopped myself from using his nickname this time.

“Yo dude, my mate Josh is going to pick you up from the station; he’s on the same train as you any how. So he can bring you here, otherwise you’ll be waiting for a good hour. My friend locked himself out of his house so now we’re stuck trying to break him in,” Matt explained quickly.

I frowned, “Alright, so, two things: how do you know how to break into a house, and how do I know what your friend even looks like? I can’t just walk up to every guy your age and be like, “Hey, do you know a guy called Matt?” can I?”

“Well, firstly, I don’t, that’s why we’re going to be trying for at least an hour,” he paused to shout to someone on the other end, “No, you need to hold the ladder Dan! Hold it at the bottom!” before sighing and then saying, “Josh will find you; I’ve told him what you look like. Or what you did look like when I last saw you…” he trailed off.

“I haven’t changed much, I promise Matty,” I smiled sadly; “I bet you haven’t either.”

He laughed slightly, and then said, “Anyway, in case of emergency, what colour top are you wearing, I can text Josh or something. He’s wearing a black t-shirt, which I know makes it bloody awkward, but that’s Josh for you.”

I looked down at my front and laughed, “Errm, Matt, I’m wearing a black t-shirt.”

“You are such a dick!” Matt laughed, “Well, I’ll text Josh anyway. Anything interesting about you he might be able to spot apart from your newly developed atrocious half-cockney accent?”

“I do not have a cockney accent!” I was instantly appalled with this remark. I had always tried to ignore Taylor’s stupid accent and keep my own; he even noted how posh I sounded sometimes compared to him. He said it was cute. Millie was even jealous of my accent, and often copied it if she was talking to cute new boys.

I guess those guys were out of the picture now though.

“You kind of do though Rosie,” Matt laughed, “Anyway; I’ve got to go help Max out again. I’ll see you later. Josh will find you.”

“I don’t see how you can expect me to just trust this Josh guy. I don’t even know what he looks like-“ I started to complain to Matt, but he had already gone. I guess he didn’t feel goodbye was needed. I half chucked my phone down onto the table in front of me, as the train juddered to a stop. The rain had finally cleared, the sky was still a depressing shade of grey but at least it might not be as bitterly cold. I noted that the next stop was mine.

The lady next to me ‘politely’ asked me to move by coughing and half standing up in her seat. I stood up to allow her to pass just as the guy opposite did the same for the man next to him. The rude couple exited the train, holding hands, which was odd as they didn’t even talk to each other for the whole journey.

I sat down, pushing right over to the window as the last chunk of the journey before my stop was another 15 minutes. Just as Opposite-Me-Guy was about to start sitting down, a pair of teenagers pushed into the seat behind him, leaving him stuck next to me. He sat down, pulling his leg up and holding it to his chest, and smiled at me,

“Hi,” he said simply. I couldn’t help but smile back. His grin was so wide and it looked cheeky despite how he intended it to come across.

“Hi,” I replied, trying not to keep the grin plastered across my face. He kept looking at me, a smile still firmly stuck on his face. Mine refused to budge as well.

I gave in first, breaking eye contact. I looked across to the boy and girl who had forced Next-To-Me-Guy to be next to me. They were in a deep make out session: disturbing seeing as they only looked about 13.

“Well, that’s a bit awkward,” Next-To-Me said. He did say it pretty loudly, but the couple didn’t even take notice, “Should they be doing that at their age?” He looked at me, a smirk playing on his lips.

I laughed. Okay, I lie, I giggled. Note to self, Rosie, never giggle like that ever again, that was just embarrassing, “No, they really shouldn’t,” I tried to compose myself. Next-To-Me was… should I be using this adjective when I was 20 in a couple of months? He was hot.

I looked back at the couple to try and distract myself, but all that made me do was go bright red, and I couldn’t look out of the window because then I’d be turning away from Next-To-Me, and that would be rude. Also, I’m pretty sure Millie had once told me it was bad luck to turn away from good looking guys.

Yes, I’m sure that topic of conversation had come up before.

I hadn’t just made that up as an excuse. She’d definitely said it before.

I think.

I’ll stick with it anyway.

“So, are you getting off at the next stop?” Next-To-Me asked, both of us equally embarrassed, so it would seem, by the people opposite us, for a dash of pink played on his cheeks as well as mine- although I was probably more magenta than pink. I nodded in reply, and he smiled, “Me too. Are you staying for a while then?” He looked pointedly to my bag under the table, which was pretty packed I guess. I didn’t realise how much stuff I had actually brought with me.

“Yeah, just staying with my-“ oh crap; I didn’t even know what Matt was, “-erm, with my friend.” I continued after my voiced pause, “I haven’t seen him in a while so I guess I just fancied a… break.” I tried to not let my voice drop at any point and tried to seem as optimistic about this trip as possible.

“Just a short holiday, then?” Next-To-Me raised an eyebrow at my expression. I could feel that my plan to stay as optimistic-looking and sounding as possible didn’t really work out for the best, “I’m Josh, by the way,” he grinned and held out his hand for me to shake.

“Something like that,” I smiled, “Rosie,” and I shook his hand.

Josh clicked his tongue against his teeth and ran his hand along the back of his neck, pushing his hood down by accident and revealing his messy brown locks. He chuckled, “Rosie in a black t-shirt…”

I looked at him, slightly confused for all of 10 seconds before I registered what he was getting at, “Oh! Josh in a black t-shirt!”

“So you’re Matt’s old school friend, hey? He said you’d be easy to find, but I wasn’t expecting you to be sat right across from me on the train,” He flashed a lop-sided grin as the train started to slow to a halt for Weybridge rail station, “And look, now we’re in the ever wonderful Weybridge and don’t even need to look for each other.”

I smiled at him as he offered to carry my bag for me. Politely declining, he shrugged it off and led the way out of the train. He pulled his car keys out of his back pocket, and swung them around his index finger as we made our way to the car park. I tried to walk by his side, but he walked a lot faster than I did, and I kept getting pushed back from the rows of people trying to figure out timetables and the groups of train spotters striving to see the old steam engine that was due into the station at any second- his taller frame seemed to be used to swerving around queues of people. I followed lamely, trying not to get too lost- the layout of the station seemed to have changed since I was last here.

Josh looked over his shoulder when he realised I wasn’t next to him. He smiled, and apologised for moving too quickly, and slowed down now that we had successfully gotten away from the platform, “And now,” he said, unlocking his small car, “we head to Max’s house to try and break him in, because they probably won’t have managed by now.”

I laughed, trying to sneak a look around his car without him noticing.

He smiled, keeping his eyes on the road in front of him as he clicked on the indicators and waited for a space to exit the car park. He looked at me slightly, before saying, “its okay, you can judge my car for being messy, but I swear it’s mostly not my fault.”

I laughed, “Oh, so who’s fault is it, mostly?” I tried my best to mimic his emphasis on words, raising an eyebrow at him.

“I refuse to accept blame for any mess in my car, because the boys are messy idiots. Like, look, down at your feet. There’s a Happy Meal box from McDonalds. I don’t eat McDonalds! That’s got to be Max. I ask him to pick it up, take it out, but does he hell.”

I bit my lip and laughed slightly as Josh moved the car forward into a gap in the line, lurching slightly. I tried to not show the fact that I was gripping the seat slightly.

“God, I am so sorry. Sometimes I forget how terrible I am at driving; especially with new people in the car. You’ll get used to it, I swear. Just, I only passed my test a couple of months ago,” he smiled with a mix of pride and embarrassment.

“Bit late, isn’t it?” I blurted out before I even thought properly. Oh, well done Rosie, you just insulted this guy you don’t even really know that well.

He looked straight at me for a short time before turning his eyes back to the road as red brake lights shone through the windscreen, pushing his foot on the pedal as softly as he could- I could tell he was trying really hard. His eyes glittered slightly with his soft grin, and he said, “Yeah, I was too busy to take the test really, what with the travelling and stuff.”

I didn’t have a clue what travelling he was on about, but I nodded anyway, mainly to stop myself spurting out more questions. Josh clicked the indicator on to turn into an estate I vaguely remembered from my childhood and we soon pulled up outside a house. There was a ladder littering the front lawn, and window wide open upstairs, and the front door was open. A guy who was probably about Josh’s age was picking the ladder up from the front lawn and struggling to drag it to the pavement. Josh and I exited his car and went over to help him.

Out of breath already from dragging the heavy metal ladder a short distance, he nodded his thanks. We dragged the ladder into next doors garden, and he left it on its side, balanced against the side of their house. I jogged back to Josh’s car, and reached under the seat to grab my satchel. As I did so, I heard a slightly breathless voice behind me softly say to Josh, “Mate, who’s the chick?”

“Oh! This is Rosie, Matt’s friend. Rosie, this is Max,” Josh nodded towards Max and stuffed his hands in his coat pocket. Although it was still techincally summer, the fresh autumn air was carrying a bitter and punchy breeze today, so I didn’t blame him for almost snuggling into his jacket.

“So you’re Happy Meal guy?” I smiled as best as I could, as the boys made their way towards the door. I was so nervous right now, I was about to see Matt for the first time in what felt like a lifetime.

“Josh complained about his car being a state, didn’t he?” Max complained, not even facing me and Josh, “You always make me out to be the worst culprit. I swear, I’m not that bad, other than the fact that I can’t eat a full McDonalds adult meal.“

“Plus,” Josh interrupted by leaning in with a whisper to my ear, “he doesn’t get a toy with the adult meals,” he smiled smugly at the fact that he’d got an insult in without Max hearing, another cheeky lop-sided grin. I laughed slightly, trying not to give his game away.

The boys stepped through the threshold, taking of their jackets as they did so and throwing them onto the stairs, where three other jackets were already laid out. I paused slightly, wondering whether it was okay to just walk into someone-I-didn’t-even-know’s house. I didn’t even know who the house belonged to… had Matt said it was Max?

“Oh my God, Rosie?” exclaimed small voice game from inside the house, breaking my thoughts. I looked up instantly, and broke into a huge grin as soon as I saw Matt. I started walking towards him but pretty much ended up leaping on him by the end of the short trip across the living room, flinging my arms tightly around his waist as his grip tightened around the top of my shoulders. I felt tears spring into my eyes as I hugged him tighter than I had anyone, ever before, trying not to let my tears known by biting my lip and closing my eyes. He looked exactly the same. He sounded exactly the same. He even smelt exactly the same. I didn’t even realise how much I’d missed him, until this amazing moment in time.

He pulled back, and gripped my shoulders, smiling and looking at me closely. I’m sure he noticed the tears in my eyes, but he knew me well enough to know I wouldn’t want to go there yet.

“God Matty, you don’t even look any different. I’ve missed you so much,” I said, as I pulled him back into a quick hug. He chuckled, pulling away again and letting his arms trail to my hands, giving them a squeeze, before pulling them away and pushing them into his jeans pocket.

“You’re no different either, Rizzle. Except… well- your boobs have gotten way bigger!”