The Way She Wears My Clothes

The next morning, Tay wasn’t in my bunk. I frowned but pulled my disappointment inside so no one could see it but me. I had honestly expected her to be there, especially after our talk. I had wanted her there. I wanted to wake up next to her and kiss her awake. I wanted to get up and go to breakfast and have a good day with her. I wanted to show the world that, well, I don’t know what. We weren’t officially together. Maybe that’s why she’d left. She thought that I wouldn’t want her there because I didn’t ask her to be with me, like officially.

I pulled myself together, putting Tay from my mind as I climbed out of my bunk and headed for the front. Alex was awake, playing on his phone and looking more tired than I’d seen him in ages.

“Alex?”

“How was your night with Tay?” he asked, looking up from whatever he was doing.

“Good. Have you seen her?”

“Not that good then, huh?”

“Lex?”

“What?” He snapped.

“Are you okay? I mean, I know what happened with Sierra and everything, but are you okay?”

“No, and I’d appreciate if we didn’t talk about it anymore. I’m moving on. I don’t need Sierra. I don’t need to be in love with her.”

I raised my eyebrows at him.

“Alex,” I started. He glared at me, stopping me in my tracks. He had been mad at me plenty of times, but most of the time, he had justification. This? He’d never been angry at me for trying to help. Sierra was taking a toll on my best friend.

“I’m gonna go for a walk, try and find Tay. If you need me, just call, okay?”

He turned his eyes back to his phone while I pushed my feet into my shoes, grabbed my phone off the counter and left. I walked around the venue a few times and then headed towards We Are The In Crowd’s bus. Or, I was going to when I stumbled across a distraught Sierra Kusterbeck. She was sitting on the curb, slumped forward, emitting pitiful attempts at muffling her sobs. I sank down beside her and touched her knee softly. She jolted away from me, and glared.

“What do yo- Oh, Jack! I thought you might be Alex.”

“People have told me that I’m a lot like Alex, but people rarely mistake me for him,” I replied. She smiled a bit, but it vanished as quickly as it had appeared.

“I’m glad you’re not him, though,” she replied, her voice thick and rough with unshed tears. I hooked my arm gently over her thin shoulders and coaxed her closer, hugging her into my side.

“Why’s that?”

“I don’t really want to see him, not after yesterday. I can’t believe I did that,” she buried her head into my shoulder and started to cry again. I glanced around, finding no one. I pressed a quick kiss into her hairline and gently shushed her.

“Why did you do it?”

“Because I,” she started and then quickly dissolved into another fit of tears.

“It’s okay. I won’t tell anyone, I promise,” I assured her. She looked up, small tears streaking down her face.

“I’m scared,” she whispered.

“What are you scared of?”

“Alex,” she whimpered and tucked herself into me even more.

“Why does he scare you?”

“Because I’m in love with him!” she bawled. Of course! Sierra was trying to push Alex away, because of what she felt for him. She thought if she made Alex not want to be around her, it would be better for her. I’ve tried that before, it doesn’t work.

“Oh, Sierra,” I sighed and hugged her hard.

“What do I do?”

“Well, you can ignore everything you feel for Alex and move on with your life. Or, you could act on it, go to my bus, pull him up off the couch and kiss him. Because, trust me, you both need it right now.”

She chewed on her lip for a second, nodded, stood up and began to march off towards my bus. I smiled. If only my own love life was that simple.

I pushed myself up off the pavement and found my way towards Tay’s bus when the door opened and Jordan stepped off.

“Hey Jack! Have you seen Tay?”

“She’s not here?” I asked.

“No. We haven’t heard from her since yesterday when she went for a walk.”

I chewed on my lip.

“She wasn’t on my bus this morning. I don’t know where she is.”

“This morning? You mean she spent the night there? Bought damn time, Jack!”

“Shut up, Jordan,” I heard Tay say from behind me. I spun around and she looked away.

“What? I’m just saying, you two have been doing this song and dance long enough. Just go out on a date and get on with your lives. As much as this amuses me, I would like to see you two happy sometime soon.”

With that, the tall vocalist disappeared back into the bus, leaving Tay and I alone again.

“You left,” I said softly, trying to hide every bit of emotion from my voice. It wasn’t working. I could hear it, the disappointment and the sadness, the pain.

“I’m sorry. I couldn’t, I couldn’t do it. We’re not meant for each other,” she said.

“How do you know? How could you possibly know that if you don’t give us a chance? I’m willing to try. I want to try. I would give anything to just attempt to make us work! Why won’t you give us that chance?”

She was already shaking her head though. She had made up her mind. She didn’t want anything to do with me.

“Alright. That’s fine. Great, even. I’ll just go then, and,” my voice shook as I started to walk away. I couldn’t look at her. She didn’t really feel the same way for me as I did for her. Last night was just because of the alcohol. We had drunk a lot. Of course, she didn’t feel the same. I was stupid for thinking I mattered to her. I never mattered to anyone. “I’ll see you around.”