The Way She Wears My Clothes

Unfortunately, just as we got together, the tour ended and Tay was going back home to Poughkeepsie while I headed down to Baltimore. We spent one last night before we ended tour cuddled in a park, Tay’s comforter spread out underneath us. It was well after 2 am, and we were supposed to leave at 3:30, after everyone’s had their last night party. Although, to be honest, no one would be getting back from the bars until the sun rose so we were safe.

“Jack,” she said softly, tugging on the shirt I was wearing.

“I don’t want you to go home,” I said.

“Me neither, but we’ve both got family and lives, Jack. We’ve gotta go back to them. We’ll see each other soon. I’ll make sure of it.”

I sighed and buried my nose into Tay’s wavy brown hair. She smelled of strawberries, a scent I was sure to connect with the petite singer for the rest of my life. It just so amazing, having her lying with me, no fighting, no arguing, no running from the other. We were here, together, our arms secured around the other, legs tangled amongst the blankets, her breath hot on my chest.

“Can I tell you something?” I asked, sitting up on my elbows, looking down at her. Her eyes turned up to meet mine while that cute mouth quirked up into a small smile.

“You can tell me anything.”

“You look amazing in those JAGK shirts, and, well, for the longest time, I thought I was only attracted to you just because of those,” I admitted, letting out a deep sigh. I prepared myself for a scolding, screwing my eyes shut but when it didn’t come, I peeked out at her. She was grinning and when our eyes met, she threw her head back and laughed at me.

“Is that why you shut me out? Because you thought you weren’t attracted to me?” she asked between incredulous giggles. I nodded slowly. She snuggled closer and pressed a chaste kiss to my lips, resting her forehead against mine. “You are so goddamn cute, Jack Barakat.”

“Remind me to take you out to mini golf when I’m not being an asshole. Maybe I’ll show you how to actually sink the ball into the hole,” I replied, pressing my own kiss into the corner of her lips. Her eyes twinkled in the streetlamp’s yellow light.

“Maybe I actually know how to play mini golf and was hoping you’d show me anyway because I wanted to get you close to me,” she retorted.

“You didn’t!” I laughed.

“I did, actually. Sorry. And once I realized you weren’t gonna play along, I just had to stick to my story and it was so hard trying NOT to beat you.”

“You wouldn’t have beaten me,” I scoffed. She raised her eyebrow.

“Oh, trust me, baby. I would’ve.”

“We’ll just have to see about that,” I informed her, moving one arm from underneath me to pull her body against mine, hand sneaking up the back of her shirt and resting against the warm expanse of her back.

“Mmmm,” she replied, leaning down and slotting our lips together perfectly, the kiss carrying on for several minutes, slowly heating up until the need for air was too great.

“Come back to Baltimore with me,” I said.

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because, I have a life in Poughkeepsie. I have my family. Besides, Jack, we’ve been dating for a week! I can’t imagine explaining to your family and mine that I went home with you after a week of dating you. I like you, a lot. I love being around you. But, it’ll be weird, and-“

“I get it, Tay. It was just an idea.”

“I’m sorry, Jack. I didn’t mean for it to come out that way. I would love to. Maybe once I see my family?” she amended, with a small smile. “This year has been nonstop touring for the new record and I haven’t… I haven’t seen them or spent time with them. I hope you understand.”

“Of course, I do. I’m sorry for thinking that you would want, anyway… What time is it?”

“Jack,” she sighed. I shook my head.

“It doesn’t matter, Tay. I get it. Don’t feel too bad. We should be getting back,” I said, sitting up and straightening my shirt from where Tay had pushed it up when she went to grip my hips. She groaned as I pulled my sweatshirt back on, zipping it up and essentially cutting off any further discussion. She let out a sad groan and nodded, tugging on her own and standing up without a word. She tugged her comforter out from underneath me. I started this, and I perpetuated it because I’m just so goddamn proud to accept that I wanted to move things too fast for her.

We walked back to the buses in silence, me walking her to the quiet door of her own. She typed in the keycode to the bus and pulled open the door, throwing the comforter up the steps.

“I’m sorry,” I apologized. She nodded, but nothing else. I leaned down, capturing her lips in a short kiss. “I really am. I’m an ass and it’s alright that you want to go home. I have nothing against that, really. My mouth just likes to, run, without running anything by logistics.”

She smiled and kissed me back. I hugged her hard against me, dropping my lips onto her hair, letting her sink into me.

“God, I’m gonna miss you,” I muttered. She murmured in agreement and stepped away, climbing onto the bus. She stopped on the top step, turning to face me.

“Call me,” and the door shut between us, ending our contact for the next several weeks.