I Just Wanna Live

The tour was put off. Or done. Which ever you'd prefer to say. The reason why was because Duncan came up with this charity that supported children in Africa. The charity gave the kids soccer fields, homes, ect. Sadly, making an orginization that revolved around a different country, meant actually going to that country and staying there for a while. Which meant Dunc had to travel down to Africa and stay there for a few weeks, by himself. I didn't like the idea at first, since him and I were never apart, but it was for a good cause. And it wasn't that bad being by myself with the guys. And we even found an apartment that had four bedrooms and could fit us all without being smooshed together. After decorating the place, we realized that we went over our 'budget' and knew that we had to be careful with the rest of the money so we could survive. We also needed an office for the list, so while Duncan is in Africa, we would look for one and hopefully have our supplies donated by sponsers. So at four in the morning, Duncan woke me up to kiss me goodbye. I would've gone with him to the airport, but he said it wasn't worth it and since he was taking a cab, he didn't trust the driver to bring me all the way back here. I kept him in bed with me for a few minutes, kissing him and hugging him. After he said his good bye's to the boys, I walked him out to the cab. And after that, it was just me and the guys.

"You'll survive." Jonnie said as I walked inside. I stuck my tongue out at him.

~*~

"Hello?" I called, kicking off my shoes as I entered the apartment.

"In here!" I heard Dave say. I walked into the living room and noticed that he was alone.

"Where is everybody?"

"Ben's on a date and Jonnie is with his band friends." He turned on the couch to look at me, and smiled, "Just you and me tonight, buddy."

I laughed, "I'm gonna go take a shower."

"Did you go to the gym?"

"Yea, I asked if you wanted to go but you weren't paying attention so I left."

"Huh," He said, then turned around, "After you're done come in here so we can watch a movie or something."

I took a quick shower, jumping out as soon I was finished to change so I didn't keep Dave waiting. It's been a while since it was just the two of us. I dried my hair and threw it into a pony tail, then walked into the living room and sat down next to him on the couch. He extended his arm, and I scooted closer to him so he could wrap it around my shoulders. He smirked at me, then flipped through the channels.

"What do you want to watch?"

"Dunno, it's up to you. Want me to make pop corn?"

"You find something and i'll make the bowl."

~*~

We settled on Inception, which was at least two and a half of hours. And even when it was over, Ben and Jonnie still weren't home and it was almost midnight. I thought about calling them to make sure they were okay, but I felt Dave's hands squeezing my sides and that caught my attention. I was half asleep anyway and maybe he thought it was okay since I was laying my head down in his lap.

"Dave," I muttered.

"What?"

"What're you doing?"

"Nothing,"

I grabbed his hand and showed him where it was, then let it drop. It fell on my lower back and I groaned, the impact startling me. I sat up and stared at him. He ran his hands through his hair and closed his eyes.

"I miss you," He whispered.

"I'm here all the time." I pointed out, resting my head in my hands.

"You know what i'm talking about, Car."

I shook my head, "I don't."

He picked up my hand and grabbed my middle finger, pointing to a ring I had, "Remember when I gave this to you?"

"Yes," I said, taking my hand away, "It was your way of saying 'I'm sorry' when I found out you were cheating on me." I whispered.

"But you forgave me."

"I didn't."

"But-"

"I never forgave you, Dave. I just accepted the fact that you never loved me."

"I always did. I still do."

I laughed softly, "What ever. I'm going to bed."

"Need any company?"

"Nope." I sat up and turned to grab my phone off the coffee table. Just as I shifted to walk to my room, I bumped into Dave's chest. When I looked up at him, he quickly pressed his lips to mine, and tried to lock his arms around me. I slapped him, hard, and stepped back. He tried to close the space between us but I quickly turned and tried to walk as fast as I could to my bedroom. I was in the hall way when I heard the door open and saw Jonnie. I caught his stare, and he tilted his head at me.

"What?" I asked, shifting my weight to my other foot as I tried to act casual.

"You okay? You look frazzled."

I glanced over at Dave, who looked at his feet.

"I'm fine."

"Are you trying to convince me or yourself?"

I didn't answer him, instead I shut myself in my room and changed into one of Duncan's shirts. When I made sure it smelt like him, I climbed into bed and wrapped myself up in the blankets.

Just as I was falling asleep, I heard my door crack open. I lifted my head to see who it was and saw Jonnie making his way over to me. He climbed onto the bed beside me and laid down.

"Something's wrong." He said, softly.

"I told you I'm fine. I just need to sleep."

He laughed, "You're such a liar. Now tell me."

"I'm just tired." I whined, turning so my back was facing him.

"Do you want me to leave, then?"

I contemplated this in my head, then slowly turned to face him again and shook my head.

"Can you sleep with me?"

He smirked, "Yea, of course."

Since he was already in his boxers, he climbed underneath the covers and held me close to him.

~*~

"Carlei," Someone whispered, shaking me, "You gotta wake up." I cracked open my eyes, looking up at Ben. He smiled at me, then pulled me up into a sitting position, "Wake up."

"Benny," I whispered.

"What?"

"Shut up." I hissed, closing my eyes. He shook me again.

"Come on, it's important. I think I found our office."

"So?"

"Don't you want to see it?"

"Now?"

"Yes, now. We're going to look at it. The tenant is already there waiting for us."

I looked at him and realized that he was already dressed, "When did you get home last night?"

"I actually just got home."

"Where were you?"

He wiggled his eyes brows, "Had a hot date."

I sat up straighter and batted my eye lashes, "Did Benny have a little fun?"

He laughed, "A little? I had tons of fun. And so did Whitney Port."

My jaw dropped, "No fucking way."

"You like her?"

"I love her! Can she hook me up with some designers? I can advertise for her."

Ben smirked, "I'll bring her over sometime. Maybe when Dunksy gets home."

"That long?"

He smiled, then patted my leg, "Get changed."

~*~

It wasn't until I was in the elevator with all of the boys that I figured out Dave was coming along. I glanced over at him and caught him staring at me, so quickly panicked and watched the numbers fall as we passed each floor. Once we were in the lobby, Jonnie looked over at me and threw and arm over my shoulders.

"Sorry I left you to wake up by yourself, but I had to unlock the door for Benny."

I smiled, "It's fine."

"Something's bothering you." He said, his voice stern.

"There's nothing bothering me. I'm okay."

He stared at me for a minute, "I don't believe you. But you'll tell me sometime, so I'll stop grilling you."

I rolled my eyes, letting his arm fall from my shoulders as I walked over to Ben's car. Ben swung his keys around his finger as he got in and I watched him, from the passenger seat, turn them into the ignition and start up the engine. I made sure that I wasn't the one sitting next to Dave, and when I knew Ben was driving I stuck closer to him than the other two. Dave was quiet as he buckled himself in.

"Should we go visit penelope after?"

Sadly, Penelope was dead. Literally. She wouldn't start at all. No matter how long we charged her battery or how much oil we put in her, she just wouldn't start. Luckily, Ben had set us all up with cars, knowing that some day or some time we would need them. He said they were supposed to be Christmas presents, but we needed them now.

"Sure. Maybe she's made some progress."

~*~

Ben handed over the five hundred dollars for first months rent on the office. It was actually nicer than I ever expected. It was big, and everyone would have their own little cubical. It needed a little touching up on the paint, and we needed some sponsors. So while Benny and Jonnie sat down on the carpeted floor and flipped through the phone book, I was forced to go to the nearest paint shop with Dave. The ride over there, he didn't say much; just looked at me from time to time. When we were inside though, he stepped closer with every color he chose. I glanced over at him as I picked through the grays.

"How about this one?" He asked, pointing to a dark blue.

I shook my head, then grabbed a pallet and looked closely at it. He grabbed the little card out of my hands and stuffed it in his pocket.

"Talk to me," He said before I could protest.

"No."

"Why not?" He frowned.

I grabbed another gray and stared at him, "You're a douche."

"You're mad at me because of last night?"

"Why else would I be?"

"C'mon, Car. I didn't meant to-"

"Make our friendship awkward? Too late."

"I'm sorry. It wasn't supposed to happen like that."

"How else was it supposed to go? You thought I was going to let you kiss me?"

"Well..yea. Kind of."

I laughed at him, "If you haven't noticed, Duncan-your best friend-is my boyfriend."

"It's not like he was going to know."

I shook my head, then walked over to the counter and gave the man a gray pallet.

"Can you make me two cans of this?"

"Sure, it'll take about five minutes."

I nodded my head, then reached into my purse and grabbed my wallet.

"I got it." Dave said, throwing down a fifty on the counter. He leaned on his elbow, glancing at the color. "Really?"

"You don't like it?" I asked, not that I really cared.

"Eh.." He shrugged.

I rolled my eyes, "What ever."

"So are we alright?"

"No, not until you apologize."

He shook his head, "I'm not going to apologize for something I'm not sorry for."

"Then don't talk to me."

"You can't not talk to me."

"That made no sense." I pointed out.

"Yes, it does, actually. I'm not that stupid."