Status: Active-ish
Finding Me Out
Nobody knows I dream about it, this is my imagination
“SHIT FUCK ASS BALLS MOTHERFUCKER!” I take back every positive thought I have ever said or thought. Ever. I fucking stubbed my toe! And it was most definitely not a laughing matter. Even though Demitri seemed to think it was, by the way he was laughing at me hysterically.
“Shut up, you prick! It fucking hurts,” I whined, lying on the floor of my apartment, clutching my toe and rocking back and forward in agony. How could something as little as stubbing your toe hurt so much?
“I’m sure it does,” Demitri giggled and walked over to me and sitting down next to me on the soft carpet, rubbing my shoulder comfortingly.
“Easy for you to be all happy and laughing and shit, your toe isn’t DYING!” I said dramatically, giving him a gentle shove.
“Aww, poor baby,” he cooed, obviously taking the piss. “Do you want me to kiss it better?” he fake pouted.
“No, I just want you to just kiss me,” I announced, leaning a little closer to him and catching his lips with my own. We’d gotten more comfortable with kissing each other over the last few days, though we still weren’t official. Now he wasn’t sick anymore it felt more normal, and I could just kiss him when we were hanging out without it really being a problem, which of course, made me feel fucking awesome.
My stomach dropped as I felt myself lose balance and I pulled away quickly, before landing, crumpled, half on the couch we’d been standing next to, half on the floor.
“FUCK COCK SHIT MOTHERFUCKER BITCH!” I swore again, wondering why I was so goddamn clumsy today. I was very rarely this bad. In fact, I was usually quite graceful. It was the world working against me to make me dislike Demitri, who was laughing his ass off again.
“Hey, guess what?” I asked Demitri, excitedly. He cocked his head to the side and raised an eyebrow, while still laughing, signalling me to continue. “Shut the fuck up,” and then I left.
I was probably just being a moody little bitch, but he kept fucking laughing at me! Did he not realise that it made me feel like a total dumbass? Everyone had self esteem problems, but mine were worse than most, and it hurt to have someone I cared about laughing at me when I was in pain.
It took me a couple of minutes of walking before I realised I’d just left my own apartment, and I really should’ve kicked him out, but by then I wasn’t going to go back and have him laugh at me all over again, so instead I walked out of the building and down the road, towards a crappy little cafe that had nice muffins, and shitty everything else.
“Can I please get a chocolate and raspberry muffin?” I asked, pulling five dollars out of my pocket and putting it on the counter. It was rather a dark room, with only a few customers sitting around with their food or drinks, though it was only four in the afternoon.
When would it be safe to go home? I was scared that I’d go back and Demitri’d be there waiting to laugh at me; waiting to tell me that he’d realised I wasn’t good enough for him and he didn’t want to see me anymore. It was bullshit, I knew it, but it was still scary.
And then I had my muffin, and my change, and I could just sit down on the surprisingly comfy chair in the corner, and curl my legs up under me, and chew on my muffin, because I sure as hell wasn’t going back yet.
“Shut up, you prick! It fucking hurts,” I whined, lying on the floor of my apartment, clutching my toe and rocking back and forward in agony. How could something as little as stubbing your toe hurt so much?
“I’m sure it does,” Demitri giggled and walked over to me and sitting down next to me on the soft carpet, rubbing my shoulder comfortingly.
“Easy for you to be all happy and laughing and shit, your toe isn’t DYING!” I said dramatically, giving him a gentle shove.
“Aww, poor baby,” he cooed, obviously taking the piss. “Do you want me to kiss it better?” he fake pouted.
“No, I just want you to just kiss me,” I announced, leaning a little closer to him and catching his lips with my own. We’d gotten more comfortable with kissing each other over the last few days, though we still weren’t official. Now he wasn’t sick anymore it felt more normal, and I could just kiss him when we were hanging out without it really being a problem, which of course, made me feel fucking awesome.
My stomach dropped as I felt myself lose balance and I pulled away quickly, before landing, crumpled, half on the couch we’d been standing next to, half on the floor.
“FUCK COCK SHIT MOTHERFUCKER BITCH!” I swore again, wondering why I was so goddamn clumsy today. I was very rarely this bad. In fact, I was usually quite graceful. It was the world working against me to make me dislike Demitri, who was laughing his ass off again.
“Hey, guess what?” I asked Demitri, excitedly. He cocked his head to the side and raised an eyebrow, while still laughing, signalling me to continue. “Shut the fuck up,” and then I left.
I was probably just being a moody little bitch, but he kept fucking laughing at me! Did he not realise that it made me feel like a total dumbass? Everyone had self esteem problems, but mine were worse than most, and it hurt to have someone I cared about laughing at me when I was in pain.
It took me a couple of minutes of walking before I realised I’d just left my own apartment, and I really should’ve kicked him out, but by then I wasn’t going to go back and have him laugh at me all over again, so instead I walked out of the building and down the road, towards a crappy little cafe that had nice muffins, and shitty everything else.
“Can I please get a chocolate and raspberry muffin?” I asked, pulling five dollars out of my pocket and putting it on the counter. It was rather a dark room, with only a few customers sitting around with their food or drinks, though it was only four in the afternoon.
When would it be safe to go home? I was scared that I’d go back and Demitri’d be there waiting to laugh at me; waiting to tell me that he’d realised I wasn’t good enough for him and he didn’t want to see me anymore. It was bullshit, I knew it, but it was still scary.
And then I had my muffin, and my change, and I could just sit down on the surprisingly comfy chair in the corner, and curl my legs up under me, and chew on my muffin, because I sure as hell wasn’t going back yet.
♠ ♠ ♠
TAADAAA! Demitri, cursing and drama. You proud?Once again, I'm so sorry for the long delay. I don't have an excuse, other than I've been working on a Christofer Drew/Jordan Witzigreuter Christmas slash for a contest (which you can read here by the way) and school started again, so I've been really tired.
I'm fifteen now! And my hair is the most beautiful bright red/pink ever, except that a teacher wants me to redye it, cause she's a stupid fucking bitch. My parents are going to talk to her about it on Monday though.
I'm sorry I always ramble in these. I don't really have anyone to vent to, so I throw it all at you guys in these notes.
Two comments guys. As much as I adore BisexualAngel and ninjapurplepanda (I want both your babies o.o), I have fifty four subscribers and two comments, it's kind of pathetic. It makes me feel like no one cares to take a minute to comment after reading, and that just doesn't feel good at all. Pleease scroll on up there, hit the comment button and write something?
On a side note, here's my beautiful hair (and a stick on mustache): U JELLY?
Pleeease comment! :D They make updates a million times less shitty and slow.
Title credit: Disasterology - Pierce the Veil