Meant to Be

Not even Vegas’ bright lights could illuminate Brendon’s dark world. It was only the day before that he had felt her touch, smelled her scent, looked into her eyes, and kissed her lips; and then in a matter of hours she was in the hospital. He didn’t know why, because he could barely get anything out of Charlotte when she had called.

“What’s wrong? What’s happened to her?” Brendon asked with panic in his voice.

“I-I,” she stammered.

“Charlotte! Tell me what happened!” he yelled.

He heard her sniff back the tears. “Just come to the Summerlin Hospital. She’s on the fourth floor. Say you’re there to see her.” And without saying goodbye she hung up.

Brendon stood in front of the hospital, taking in its enormous stature. Hospitals weren’t exactly his favorite place to be, even before Kayla’s miscarriage. He took in a deep breath and walked towards the entrance of the hospital. There was a doctor sitting on one of the benches, smoking a cigarette, which Brendon always found ironic—a doctor smoking. He thought maybe he could use a drag himself, but he hadn’t had a smoke since he found out Kayla was pregnant. Brendon rolled his eyes at that thought, but continued on into the lobby.

He had a hard time figuring out where the elevators were, refusing to ask for any help, but eventually found them and pressed the 4 on the panel. His hands clutched the metal bar behind him until he felt the elevator come to a halt. He hardly took in his surroundings as he walked past the double doors, the large viewing windows to his right, and found himself staring at an one windowed door. He tried opening it, but it was locked. He eyes wandered around looking for a sign and then found an intercom against the wall.

Brendon pressed the button and heard a buzz on the other end. “Visiting hours are over. Come back tomorrow,” he heard an older woman say.

He pressed another button and held it down. “I’m here to see Olivia Adams. It’s urgent,” he said, trying to stay calm.

“Mr. Urie?” she asked.

“Yes. Brendon Urie,” he clarified.

He heard the door click and the woman’s voice came back. “Come in. A doctor will be there to meet you.”

His fingers wrapped around the door handle, slowly opening it, and found himself staring at a short woman, whom he figured was the doctor. She smiled and invited him into the quiet hospital wing.

“Mr. Urie.”

“Where’s Liv? What happened to her?” he asked, wanting some answers.

“I know you must be terribly worried about your fiancée, but she and the baby are doing fine.” Not only did the word fiancée grasp his attention, but the word baby did too.

His eyebrows scrunched together, giving her a confused expression. “The-the baby is fine?” he asked, hoping to get more out of her.

She smiled and nodded her head. “Yes, the baby is fine too. At five months, it’s remarkable how much it can survive. The impact of the crash wasn’t as bad for her as it was for the driver. Just a few minor bumps and bruises and some scratches; we just want to keep her here overnight for observations.”

It was a lot for Brendon to take in. He just kept on repeating everything the doctor had told him in his mind. And then his thoughts were disrupted when an obvious pregnant woman emerged from her room, along with her husband, as she took long deep breaths, walking up and down the hall. Then his final thought was how could she not tell him she was pregnant?

“Can I see her now?” he asked.

“Of course. Follow me,” she said, turning on her heel and walking ahead.

Brendon followed behind quietly, looking from left to right, almost tripping over his own feet. They were in front of a closed door. Her door. She was in there and he wasn’t too sure if he could handle seeing her.

“She’s asleep right now,” he heard the doctor say.

“What?”

“Your fiancée, she’s asleep. We didn’t give her anything, but she was exhausted when we were finished checking her and the baby out. I don’t think you’ll wake her.” She gave him a comforting smile, but he was still scared to go in.

“Thanks,” he whispered and heard her walk away towards the front desk.

He felt tightness in his chest and heard his heart pounding in his ears. He placed the palm of his hand and his forehead against the cold door as if he could somehow look inside without having to go in. It proved useless. Brendon wasn’t even sure why he was starting to feel this way, when the day before he leapt at the opportunity to see her.

With a shaky hand he slowly opened the door. His eyes immediately went to her. There she was, lying motionless in an almost sitting position. He panicked for a second thinking she wasn’t breathing, but saw her chest rise and fall and then the sounds from the monitors began to beep showing she had a heartbeat. His eyes wandered down her body and saw the small baby bump covered by the sheets. The evidence was right before his eyes.

Only a small lamp was on, making the room dimly lit. Brendon started to move towards her, carefully and quietly as he could, to get a better look at her. He bit his bottom lip to stop it from quivering and felt his eyes tear up. Even with the small cuts on her cheeks and the bruise forming across her neck, he still thought she looked beautiful.

He raised his hand and hesitated as it hovered over her face, but fought against it and let it lightly brush against her cheek. He smiled when she twitched at his touch.

“Oh Liv,” he whispered as he stroked back her hair. He licked his lips and swallowed back the hesitation. He cleared his throat and began to sing, “When the world gets too heavy put it on my back. I’ll be your levy. You are taking me apart like bad glue on a get well card. It was always you…” He paused and let out a small sigh. “I’m the light blinking at the end of the road. Blink back to let me know,” he continued before kneeling down and placing his head down on the edge of the bed, clasping her hand in both of his.

His eyes opened in surprise when he felt it. It was light, but he was sure he felt her squeeze his hands. When he looked up, he was staring into her green eyes again. Olivia could barely make him out from the blurriness, but she knew it was Brendon. She had woken up when she felt his touch, but when he started to sing, she couldn’t resist listening to him.

“That was my favorite song on the CD,” she whispered.

Brendon smiled. It felt like it had been years since he used those facial muscles. “You listened,” he said rather surprised.

Olivia let out a small laugh, though it almost sounded like a cough. “I said I would.”

Brendon stood up, his hands still grasping her one, and looked down at her. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, placing his hand on her stomach.

Olivia licked her lips and rolled her eyes to the other side, avoiding Brendon’s gaze. “Because…”

“Because why?” he asked angrily.

“Because it went so well the first time,” she almost yelled.

He was taken aback. That wasn’t an answer he was expecting. “Liv, we were teenagers then. We had just graduated high school. I had no job, no money, I was in another state recording an album, and I wasn’t ready for that. But now, I may not be one hundred percent ready, but at least I have some stability in my life.”

She shook her head. “It’s not just that. You were with Kayla and about to have a baby with her, plus recording an album. I didn’t think you needed my news on top of all of that.”

Brendon could tell she felt guilty about it and brushed away the tear that streamed down her cheek. “So, what? You were just going to tell Jason it was his baby?”

Olivia met his gaze. “He would’ve believed me.”

Brendon shook his head disapprovingly. “I’m glad you left him. He never deserved you.”

She half smiled. “You know, if I hadn’t been with him, we probably would have never seen each other or be in this situation.”

“True, but he still never deserved you. And I should’ve fought for you to go with me to L.A.,” he said as if beating himself over with regret.

Olivia didn’t understand what he meant by his statement. He never had to fight for her, she was always his. “What are you talking about? Fight for me for what?” she asked confusedly.

“Because you had changed your mind about leaving with me. You wanted to stay in Seattle with Jason,” he said, remembering that day clearly.

Olivia shook her head. “No, I never wanted to stay with Jason. The plan had always been to leave with you, but that day…you told me Kayla was pregnant and left. But you lied. Why did you lie? An-and think I didn’t wanna go with you?”

Brendon shut his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. He was more confused than Olivia. But he was sure he had heard her correctly that day. “I heard you. I heard you say that leaving with me would be stupid, because you loved and missed Jason and had been with him for four years. That you wanted to stay with him. So I lied about Kayla because I didn’t want to hear it directly from you. I couldn’t handle that embarrassment,” he explained, looking down at the floor when he finished.

“Brendon, I never said that. Why would I-”

“Yes you did! I heard you talking to someone and saying that. I know what I heard.” He looked straight into her eyes and she could see the hurt in them.

She went through that day in her mind and then gasped when she realized what he was referring to. “Oh my gosh,” she whispered. “You must’ve heard me talking to Charlotte.” He raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to explain. “I did say that, but you took it out of context.” He still didn’t look convinced. “Next time you listen in on a conversation, you should stay to hear it all.”

“Okay. So, what were you talking about then?”

“I called Charlotte to tell her what I was doing and she asked if I was sure. I told her something like ‘You would think I would have woken up today and thought, I don’t know. I realized Jason is the guy for me because we’ve been together for four years; and to give that up for Brendon would be stupid. So, I’m staying in Seattle.’ Something like that right?” she asked him.

He nodded his head slowly and suddenly felt like a moron for thinking she had changed her mind those five months ago. “Liv, I’m so sor-”

“It’s okay,” she whispered. There was silence. Brendon replaced his hand over hers, lightly stroking it with his thumb. “You know, I had thought about just going out to L.A. and finding you. Leaving Jason and not caring that Kayla was pregnant. I just wanted to be with you,” she admitted, looking at the wall in front of her.

He smiled down at her. He didn’t deserve her and yet she still loved him and wanted to be with him. He removed his hand from hers and placed it over her stomach, rubbing it back and forth.

When he felt it, he recoiled his hand quickly. “It just kicked.”

Olivia laughed and took his hand, placing it back on the baby bump. “He likes your voice,” she smiled at him.

Brendon smiled back. “It’s a boy?” he asked with excitement.

“Yeah. We’re having a boy.” She liked the way that sounded.

“I’m having a son. We’re having a son,” he corrected himself.

Her eyes started to close slowly. He could tell she was trying her best to stay awake. “Mm-hm,” he heard her say.

He stroked her hair once last time and leaned in to kiss her. “I should get going and let you rest.”

Brendon’s hand was on the door handle when he heard her say, “No. Don’t leave. Stay with me.”

He looked back and saw her eyes were still closed. “Liv, I don’t think-”

Her lips started to move. “Please. I don’t want to be alone tonight.”

That smirk he was known for appeared across his lips. How could he say no and not stay? He sighed and walked back to where she was. There was just enough room on the bed for him to lie. It wasn’t the most comfortable position he slept in, but he didn’t care as long as he was next to Olivia.

He placed his arms behind her shoulders as she scooted closer to him, laying her head on his chest. Just as he was about to close his eyes, he heard her whisper, “I love you.”

It came as a surprise and for a moment he didn’t know what to say. But after kissing the top of her head he whispered back, “I love you too.”