I'm Never Changing

Alex's POV:

By the time I woke up for the fourth time screaming I knew something was wrong. My body lurched forward a sudden rush of nausea rushing over me. Thankfully I managed to reach the bathroom in time; I’ll save you the details you can probably guess what happened. It felt like my whole body was on fire, my hair clung to my face as I leant my head against the cool tiles groaning.

This isn’t the first time this has happened, for around a week or so this has occurred every night without fail. At first I thought it was some sort of illness that would pass, but the nightmares seem to be re-occurring. Now it was getting to the point in which I was falling asleep during class.

Slowly I cleaned up using copious amounts of mouth wash. But what scared me was the simple task of standing was difficult for me now as my legs shook. How much longer was this going to last? Judging by my reflection if it lasted much longer I don’t think I’ll be able to pull through. Dark circles are permanently engraved under my eyelids making me look more zombie-like then human. Although I couldn’t bear looking at myself for too long. With a small sigh I trudged back over to my bed switching off the light as I went. Maybe tonight I’ll get more than 3 hours sleep but it was doubtful.

~The next day at school~

I was glad that my last lesson today was a free period. Most of my class were crammed in the library catching up on last minute projects. Whereas I was spending my time trying desperately to focus on my maths homework. Every so often my eyelids would betray me though, sliding closed for a split second before snapping open in an effort to clear my hazy sight.

My friends Rian and Jack were too busy discussing various bands to notice that my head dropped on my forearms finally giving into my exhaustion. It felt like I barely had 5 seconds of rest before I was rudely awoken by a sharp pain in my stomach. I yelped loudly immediately cradling my stomach shooting a glare over in Jack’s direction.

“Dude I barely touched you, chill out.” Then something weird happened. This harsh gravely sounding growl rumbled in my throat causing both Rian and Jack to back away from me slightly in fear. I dropped my head back on the desk freaked out by that odd noise that was emitted from me. Well that has never happened before, what is wrong with me?

“I’m sorry I just feel like shit right now.” My voice was hoarse as I slowly leant back in my chair trying to stay awake.

“You look like it too Alex, what’s going on?” Typical Rian, he’s always the first to think something’s up. I know they were both trying to look after me but there really isn’t much they can do. Unless they can magically make these nightmares disappear.

“I don’t know, I haven’t slept in a week, I’ve been throwing up during the night and I’ve completely lost my appetite. I don’t even know how I’m managing to stay on my feet right now.” Jack reached over and pressed a palm to my forehead wrenching it away soon after as if he was touching fire.

“Fuck it feels like you’re about to combust! Haven’t you gone to see a doctor?” I sighed in a mix of frustration and exhaustion.

“I have thought about it but there isn’t much they can do. The nightmares aren’t going to go away I know that for sure. Besides that would involve telling my parents, knowing them they would probably quarantine me away in my room for the rest of my life.” They nodded unsure on how to help me. It wasn’t as if I was expecting answers though. Suddenly the bell sounded signalling the end of the day. All of us got up and grabbed our bags I traipsed behind them not having the energy to be able to match their pace.

“Alex I don’t want you walking back, the least I can do is give you a lift home.” I gave Rian a weary smile and thanked him for the offer whilst Jack said goodbye to us eventually wondering outside the school gates. I had no idea today was going to be my last day at Dulany High. We set off back to my place the drive there being relatively quiet. I was glad it gave my enough time to let my eyes close for a good few minutes.

It also gave me time to think about my current condition. Perhaps I should see a doctor seeing as I don’t know how much longer I can cope like this. Yet my subconscious mind took over vivid images replaced my worries. I think it had been only five minutes until a pair of familiar red eyes flashed in front of me. I jumped awake making Rian flinch in shock. It took a second for my eyes to readjust to the mid-afternoon sun whilst Rian was barely recovering from my sudden outburst.

“Jesus Alex, don’t do that!” He sighed clutching his heart rather dramatically. At least he was already parked up outside my house, otherwise that could’ve ended badly.

“S-sorry, nightmares again” I hung my head quickly grabbing my bag before mumbling a thanks under my breath. Rian soon drove off down my road as I rummaged through my bag. Locating my keys I unlocked the front door and grinned. Never have I been happier to be home alone.

Not even having enough energy to make it up the stairs I decided to crash on the couch in the living room. I’m sure my parents wouldn’t really care anyway they’re always too busy at work to really notice. Easing under a worn blanket I found under the table I sighed lowering my head onto the cushions. The slow dull ache over my body seemed to ease as I slipped further into slumber. I just hoped one day I would find the answer to these nightmares.