Into Your Icy Blues

Frank Iero was at a loss.

His talk with Gerard had done nothing but confuse him.

"You have to tell Jamia. If she finds out from anyone but you…" Frank knew. He knew telling her would be bad enough, but if he wasn't the one to tell her, well.

It wasn't fair. Jade had nothing to lose except maybe a small piece of her dignity, and she had somehow managed to hold onto that when she had woken up before him and pretended that nothing had happened.

Frank wondered if any of her friends knew. If it had even meant enough to her to be worth sharing with anyone.

Nobody knew.

Jade had kept her composure, had given him nothing more than a brief hug when he left.

Nobody had to know.

He was typing an e-mail to his mom when she cornered him in his bunk.

"Hey Frankie," she greeted him with a fake smile accompanying the obvious distant body language. She sat down a good distance away from him.

"Hey babe," he returned nervously, closing the laptop and moving it off of his lap.

"I never got to ask you about your trip home. How was it?"

"It was nice. Refreshing."

"Chicago is a little bit out of the way, though, isn't it?"

Fuck.

"I can't believe him!" Jamia cried into her phone. "I just don't know what to do anymore, Mom. He lied to me, went to see her again, and doesn't even have to balls to tell me if anything happened between them."

"Sweetheart, I think maybe it's time for a break."

"I just," she paused, letting the idea sink in. "I don't know if I can do that."

"Not be with him for a while?"

"No, I mean-" she paused as the realization formed. "Coming back if we decide to take a break. That would be just, too much for me to handle this time around."

"When're you going to rejoin us?" buzzed through from the speaker of her phone and through the apartment.

"Actually, I think I'm going to sit the rest of this one out," Jade spoke from where she sat perched on the edge of her bed. Her phone sat in her lap as she idly ran a comb through her damp hair.

"What? Why?" Mikey demanded. He had called to check up on her for Gerard while he was at an interview and they had winded up spending a good portion of the past hour chatting.

"Things at the studio have been pretty hectic lately," she told him honestly. "And," she continued nervously "I don't think I ever really get used to it. I think it's going to be a while before I can do it again." Truthfully, she adjusted to the constant traveling just fine, but she couldn't bare to put herself or Frank in that situation. For his sake, at the very least. The only contact they'd had since that night was when Gerard had passed his phone around allowing all the boys to speak to her.

"Oh," he said slowly. "Okay. Well, Gerard's not going to be happy, you know. We were all looking forward to seeing you again."

"I know," she spoke softly. "And I'm sorry. But it won't be horribly long before you're home again, and then you can come visit me, right?"

"Sure," he said cheerfully. "We'll probably just fly to Jersey for a bit then follow Bob back there. You're going to see us whether you want to or not."

"Okay," she giggled. "Sounds good. I have to get going to bed, though."

"Oh! Fuck, sorry, time zones. And you probably have work tomorrow. Someone'll probably call later in the week. Possibly sooner once Gerard finds out that you're not coming."

"I'm sure I'll be getting a call from him later today," Jade sighed, setting the comb down on her nightstand. "Have a good show tonight, Mikes."

"Thanks, kiddo. Goodnight."

"Night." She ended the call and plugged the phone's charger in before setting it face down next to her lamp, which she promptly turned off.

When Jade woke up eight hours later, her hair was frizzy and slightly damp and she had to be at the studio in less than an hour. On the bright side, she managed to get to the studio with a minute or two to spare.

The morning models were grumpy, the staff was grumpy, she became grumpy, and it was only noon when they finally left.

The end of the day found the entire studio crew seated in a booth at the Chinese restaurant around the corner. Words were occasionally traded as they all hungrily devoured their food.

"When are your rock star friends going to be back?" Kevin asked suddenly as the group sat sipping at their drinks while they waited for the bill.

"They probably won't be back here until mid-July," she told him wearily. "Why?"

"I dunno. I was just thinking, if they wanted to come in and have some pictures done for something or another..."

"Always Mr. Businessman," Jade teased lightly. "I'll mention it next time I talk to Gerard."

"Great!" her coworker beamed, snatching the bill as soon as their waiter placed in on the table. "Dinner's on me."

When she arrived home, there was a message waiting for on her answering machine. She eyed the device warily; she couldn't even remember the last time she had given out the apartment's phone number. After a few moments of hesitation, she reached out to press the play button.

"It's Gerard. Call me back."

Her airy laugh echoed through the empty apartment as she hit the delete button. Typical. She considered returning his call, but was interrupted by a loud rumble from her stomach. He could wait, she decided before making a beeline for the fridge. Its contents were sparse. Oddly enough, it was usually her brother who did the grocery shopping. Every time he came from tour, he ended up going out the next day to spend a few hundred dollars on food. Jade usually got an earful about her laziness some time along the line as well. Her search proved futile, and she moved on to the pantry. Eventually she unearthed a package of ramen and set to work preparing that.

As she was waiting for the water to boil, the cordless phone sitting beside the stove began to ring. With a glance at the clock, she slid it out of its base and up to her ear.

"Been avoiding me, Bryar?" the person accused before she had a chance to get a greeting in.

"I just got home, goof. I've got this nifty thing called a cell phone though."

"Yeah, well, your brother decided that you guys don't use the home phone enough and is making everyone that wants to call you call it instead."

"Tell him that I'm going to have it disconnected first thing tomorrow morning."

Gerard's laughter floated through the phone.

"Will do. But back to business: why the fuck aren't you coming out with us again?!"

"Gerard..."

"Jade!" he whined

"I'm staying in Chicago," she monotoned as she dumped her noodles into the now-boiling water.

"But we won't be back until the end of May!" She could picture the large pout on his face.

"I do have a job," Jade huffed. "And besides, this way you'll just miss me that much more. And I’ll know you won't get sick of me any time soon."

"Well," he sighed loudly. "If you insist."

“And go home and visit your parents,” Jade commanded. "You're a lousy son."

"I really am," he admitted. She heard some shuffling before another voice spoke in the background. "You want to talk to your brother?"

"Fuck yes. Put him on."

"Hey," the familiar voice spoke. A smile spread across Jade's face.