Suddenly I See

She pulled up to the curb, an hour late again.
"I'm so sorry sweetie, I just-"

"Got caught up with work again." I finished. "It's fine mama, I just hung out here with Lala and Katie for a while, and then they left so I went swimming and took a cold shower at the beach park right before you came."

I smiled at her to reassure her that I was fine. She was already worried about everything else in our lives, and she didn't need to worry about being late for me, too. Yes, I would have liked it if she came to watch my beach volleyball tournament, but she had to work to pay the bills.

Dad was dead and my older brother was a stoner, so the only one who actually could work was my mother. She was a secretary at some big law firm, and she made good money, but she was single mother whose kids both went to private schools and played club sports. The money she made got used up fast, and usually we went through it all before the next paycheck came. My biggest nightmare was that she would forget to pay either my tuition or my volleyball fee, and I would be stuck at a public school not being able to play the sport that was my life.

California was a big volleyball state, and every one of my friends played on my team. Last year we had won the JO's, and this year we were just riding on the high. I was short for a volleyball player, only 5'8", and at the moment I was an outside hitter. I loved playing volleyball because it allowed me to let my aggression out without hurting myself or other people. It was a win-win situation for everyone.

"So how was your tournament, honey?" My mother asked, her hands firmly gripped onto the wheel. She had always been slightly afraid of driving, and when my father was alive he had always driven her everywhere. He treated her like a princess.

"It was okay," I looked at the window and watched the cars pass by while continuing. "Lala and I won the whole thing, but I got super hungry at the end because I forgot to pack myself lunch." In other words, she hadn't bought any food for the past two days.

"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry about the food, Rosie dear." She glanced at me quickly and nervously before setting her eyes back on the road. "I'm very glad that you won. How was Lola today?"

"She was good."

She actually had been ecstatic because she had gotten a new boyfriend. Lola was my best friend, and she recycled boys like plastic bottles. She was very petite, and she was absolutely gorgeous with olive skin and dark brown hair. We were different in a lot of ways, and our friendship really proved that "opposites attract."

"That's good," mom said, nodding thoughtfully. "Whose Katelyn's partner for the tournament?"

She always used people's full names when talking to and about them for some reason, and it annoyed me. I made up nicknames for everyone, even my teachers.

"Katie and Maddie were together. They were in a totally different little tournament thing at the other side of the beach, though, so we didn't get to play them. They got first for their tournament too."

"That's good." My stomach rumbled and my mom's head snapped in my direction. She was going into mom mode. "I know you didn't pack food, but did you eat anything at all today?

"Nope." I popped my p. "I had some of Lala's powerade, but that's it."

"You didn't even have breakfast?" She looked at me in shock.

"No, I was too busy packing my bag for today because I was too tired last night." I brought my knees up to my chest and looked forward. "Besides, I wasn't hungry this morning anyway."

"Don't give me that BS Rosemarie." Her voice was mad. She always got mad when I didn't take care of myself. "We're stopping at the mall and getting you something to eat now."

She took a right turn and sped down the road to the mall by our house. I could tell that she was mad by the speed she was driving, and I had unintentionally stressed her out again.

"But I don't even have nice clothes on mama." I didn't want to go into the mall in my dirty, sweaty, sandy volleyball clothes. "I smell."

She sighed in frustration. "I don't care what you have on. All we're doing is going in and eating. You'll be fine. Nobody will even care what you're wearing."

"But mama-"

"No." She cut me off. "I do not want to hear about it right now. We're going in and you're getting something to eat."

I sighed in defeat. She was right. It's not like I was a model or anything. I bet nobody would even care, just like she said.

My mother looked at me, the frustration leaving her face when she saw that I had given in. "If you really are concerned about your clothes, we can grab you an outfit at Delia's really fast and then eat."

I sat up straight in excitement. "Really?"

I went to the mall a lot with my friends, but I barely ever had the money to buy anything. Most of the time I didn't even have enough money for food, and Lola would end up buying food for me. Her family was literally loaded, and she always offered to buy me whatever I wanted, but I refused. I wasn't a mooch.

"Yes, really." My mom smiled and pulled into the mall. "Let's just park and then we can go buy some stuff."

"YES!" I squealed. "Thank you mommy!"

I pulled her into a hug and she smiled and pulled into a stall right outside of the doors of the mall. Luckily it was a weekday in summer, so there wasn't that many people there. I unbuckled my seatbelt and jumped out of the car as fast as I could. My mother took her time, grabbing her purse and shutting her car door carefully behind her. She was just about to lock the car when she took a look at me and smiled.

"Are you sure you want to wear that into the mall?"

She pointed to my outfit and I looked down and saw that I was only in a bathing suit top and spandex bottoms.

"Umm…" I looked up and blushed. "Do you have an extra shirt? Mine's really sweaty."

"Yeah, I do." She grabbed a bag in the back and pulled out a baggy shirt and sweat pants. "Wear these," she said, throwing them at me.

"Thanks, mom."

I hurriedly pulled the pants over my spandex. They were super baggy because I was skinnier than my mom, but they weren't falling over so it was fine. I pulled the shirt over my bathing suit top and pulled the hair out of my shirt. I had taken it out of it's braid, so it was extremely curly and all the way down to my waist.

"I'm ready!" I squealed, jumping up and down in excitement. I felt like a little kid again.

"Actually, you're still forgetting something dear." My mother said, smiling slightly.

I looked all over my body to see what was missing. I couldn't see what it could be, and then all of a sudden my eyes landed on my feet.

"Oh…slippers." I looked up at my mom. "About that…I didn't bring any?" I looked at her with a questioning look on my face.

She sighed. "You are never prepared for anything." She threw me a pair of Havaianas. "Hurry up and let's get you some food and clothes."

"Yes, ma'am." I saluted and fell into step beside her.

We walked into the mall and headed towards Delia's. Luckily for us, it was close to where we were, and it wasn't all the way on the other side of the mall. I don't think my mom would have been able to handle the walk in her extremely high heels and business-like dress suit. It looked really uncomfortable.

We turned into Delia's and walked up to the sales clerk. There were only three people in the store, so she was standing there looking extremely bored by herself.

"May I help you ladies?" She said, smiling at my mother and giving my outfit a disapproving glance. I could tell she thought I was some stay-at-home slob.

"I was wondering if my daughter could just grab some clothes she likes and she could wear them out of the store if we paid for them first?" My mother said politely. She had noticed the ladies glance at my clothes as well, but she paid no attention to it.

"Well, it's against store policy, but…" The sales clerk looked around the room. "There's really no one in here so I'll let you guys do whatever you want, as long as you pay for the clothes."

"Thank you very much," my mother told her, smiling brightly.

She could get anyone do anything for her. It was a gift that I didn't possess. I was an awkward child, but I was mildly pretty so I had a bunch of friends and was considered part of the 'popular' crowd. Mom said that I got the awkwardness from my dad, but I didn't remember much about him. He died two weeks after my fifth birthday from a heart problem. He had a tiny hole in one of his arteries, and one day he was just jogging through the park and it burst. He died instantly.

We turned away from the sales clerk and my mother looked in her wallet.
"I have five hundred bucks, so you can pick out two hundred dollars worth of clothes, okay?"

I gasped. That was a lot of money going into just clothes. It's not like I wore rags or anything, I actually had a bunch of nice clothes from friends, family, and gift cards I had gotten, it was just that my mother had never really went shopping with me in a long time, and right now she was buying me a bunch of clothes.

"Thanks, mama." I gave her a hug and she smiled.

"You need back-to-school clothes anyway." She pushed me away. "Now hurry up and get your clothes. I'm going to be in the men's section of Urban Outfitter's grabbing your brother some new shirts. His are all disgusting."

I laughed and she smiled. Then she walked to the right of the store, where Urban Outfitter's was, and left me standing there all alone. I turned back to the clothing in the store, and was immediately overwhelmed by all the clothes. I stood there for a second until the sales clerk spoke up:

"What are you waiting for?" She grabbed my arm and pulled me over to the dresses. "Let's get you some clothes!"