Bitter Sweet Symphony

Ever Been Down

~~~~ Next Morning ~~~~

After a quick breakfast everyone piled into the limo that was taking us back to our hotel in Paris. We were leaving the day after tomorrow and I was silently dreading it. I didn’t want to go home and face reality. I didn’t want to have to figure out what the hell I was going to do once I was home and had a sad daughter and an upset or mad ‘boyfriend’.

I sat next to Brianna who was curled up into my side fast asleep. I watched her sleep in silence and smiled at her cuteness.

We arrived back in Paris that afternoon and just roamed around the hotel and slept on and off. We had one more full day in Paris and we couldn’t figure out what to do but I had a feeling the guys and girls were planning something. I just didn’t know what yet.

~~~~ Next Day ~~~~

“Hey Alina sweetheart!”

I chuckled, “Hey Jim-Jam what’s going on?”

Jimmy walked over to me and flopped down onto my bed where Julianna’s suitcase was. I was working on getting the majority of her stuff packed up tonight so that it was less to do tomorrow.

“So what are you doing tonight?”

“Why looking for a hot date?”

“No but I know someone who is”

I quirked an eyebrow at Jimmy, “Um..what?”

“Brian would like to take you out on a date tonight without Brianna but he was too chicken to come ask you himself so I took matters into my own hand and here I am!”

I looked at Jimmy to make sure he was serious before I shrugged, “I don’t care”

Jimmy jumped up from the bed, “GREAT! I’ll go tell Brian! You be ready in a nice dress around 5!”

I just looked at Jimmy before sighing, “Fine”

Jimmy started to laugh before he left the room and I could hear him yelling for Brian has he ran down the hall.

“He’s going to get us thrown out I swear”

~~~~ 5pm ~~~~

I sat on my bed waiting for Brian to come get me. I had found a floral print dress that I had bought earlier here and found some jewelry and shoes and such to go with it. I didn’t know what Brian had planned but this was the nicest outfit I had on me right now. Jimmy had assured me it was fine though so I was taking his word for it.

There was a knock at the door to my room so I stood up and answered it to see Brian standing there looking so hot in a pair of ripped jeans, black button up shirt, and spiked hair. He smiled at me before leaning down to peck my lips.

“You ready?”

“Yes”

Brian took my hand and we left the hotel after I made sure I had my room key and everything I needed. The guys and girls were going to be watching Brianna for us so that we could be out as late as we wanted, but I didn’t want to be out late, because of our long ass plane ride back to New York tomorrow.

There was a limo waiting for us outside of the hotel and we headed for a very nice café not that far away from our hotel. Brian had a special table reserved for us in the back of the restaurant so that we could have some privacy.

Brian ordered some wine for us and we drank while waiting for our food to arrive. We talking about nothing and everything and laughed like mad. Brian had really changed and things were going great. I just didn’t want things to take a nose dive and blow up in my face. I didn’t want to lose Brian but I didn’t know how to keep us as an us when he was across the country from me.

I just shook those thoughts from my head and continued to enjoy the time Brian and I had together right now.

After dinner Brian took me for a walk to the Eifel Tower. We went up to the top and walked around. I stopped at a point where I could see the Notre Dame and just looked at it. I had always loved the Notre Dame and its Gothic Architecture. It was amazing and I loved it.

I felt Brian’s arms wrap around me from behind. He rested his head on top of mine and I sighed before leaning back into his warm embrace.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Everything”

“I have been too”

“Yeah”

“I’ve been thinking…what…what if the band was to hire you to be our tour manager? To help us plan everything and help keep everything organized. It would be similar to what you do for the Garden right?”

I mulled the thought over in my head, “Yeah I guess it would be”

“So…how about it? Would you consider being our tour manager?”

“I…I don’t know. I…I guess I could think about it. Why though?”

“Why what?”

“Why would you want to hire me though?”

I heard Brian sigh behind me before he turned me around to face him.

“Because then we could be together. You wouldn’t have to stop working and we’d be able to live together with our daughter. If you were the band’s tour manager then we’d be able to stay together. Everything would be solved and we could focus on building our relationship and raising our daughter without a shit ton of land between us. We could be together Alina”

I just stared at Brian in shock.

“So I would be getting the job just so we could be together? But not because I would earn it or anything?”

I saw Brian’s face fall, “It was just an idea Alina. You don’t need to read so far into it. It was just an offer. I was just thinking of things that could keep us together and not across the country from each other. We could live together if you want or I could find an apartment nearby for you and Brianna. You’d make some pretty good money and you’d get to travel all over. And of COURSE you would have earned it. If the guys didn’t think you were so kick ass at what you do they would have never suggested it in the first place. It’s mainly their idea but I loved it which is why I’m offering it. Just please think about it Alina”

I sighed, “Alright I’ll think about it”

“Thank you”

Brian pecked my lips before continuing to walk about the Eifel tower with me for a few more minutes before we headed down and back to the hotel.

We both needed some sleep before the flight tomorrow so nothing happened between us that night. We just fell asleep in the same bed, me wrapped up in his arms.

~~~~ Next Day ~~~~

Today was the day.

We were all heading back to New York.

And from there everyone was going back to California.

Everyone except Brianna, Julianna, and me. We were staying in our apartment. Although I had been informed that Julianna was making plans to move out West to be with Johnny. I was upset about it but I understood. She had done a lot for me and had put off moving out to be with Johnny sooner because I needed her help. But now that Brianna was older and I had Brian she was going whether I wanted it or not.

I sat on the plane thinking about all of it and wondering how everything got so turned around so quickly. I sighed and tried to get comfortable enough to take a little nap but no such luck.

We arrived back into JFK airport late and everyone just crashed at the hotel where the guys and their girls were staying for the night. Brianna slept in the same bed with Brian and me. It was nice to be together but I just couldn’t see myself giving up a job I loved just so that I could be with Brian out west.

~~~~ Two Days Later ~~~~

“I’m going to miss you Juls”

“I know but it’s not like you won’t ever see me again”

“Yeah I know but still”

I spun around in my chair at my desk at work just thinking about everything. I was back at work right away but I was glad for the distraction except when I ran out of things to do.

I was still talking to Julianna about her moving and everything when I heard my name being called.

“Alina can I see you in my office for a minute!”

“Ugh gotta go Juls, Roger is calling”

Julianna laughed before we hung up. I stood up and walked to Roger’s office. He motioned for me to shut the door and sit down. I did what he asked and crossed my legs to prevent them from going all jittery from nervousness.

“How are you doing Alina?”

“Fine”

“Glad to have you back”

“I wasn’t gone that long”

“I know”

“So…what’s up?”

Roger sighed before pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I received a call this morning from the manager of Avenged Sevenfold”

“What?”

My heart started pounding and I felt my palms start to get really sweaty.

“Yeah. I understand that they are offering you a job as their tour manager?”

I just nodded my head yes.

“You do realize that, that would be a step up for you from working here. You’d be going around planning the tour and everything that the band would do. You’d be in full control and get paid more than you do here”

“I like it here though”

“Alina you should take the offer”

My eyes widened in shock.

“Wait what?”

Roger smiled at me, “You should take the offer. Get out of the office and live it up with the band. You know them and you’re very comfortable with them. You’d get to be in sunny California and away from the cold winters. You’d get to really work on all aspects of a tour and not just what happens after a band gets to a stadium. It would be a real opportunity for you and you should really take it. I don’t know if another opportunity like this will come again”

“I…I don’t know what to say right now”

Roger smiled at me again, “You’re one of the best here Alina. You deserve this raise and offer. You should take it. You can’t get much higher here without taking over my job. I don’t want someone with your talent to be stuck in a job when they could be out having more fun and getting more money for what you love to do.”

I ran my hand through my hair, “I don’t know if I could take it. I don’t know if I could uproot my daughter like this and just take her away from all she’s known. I don’t know”

Roger’s face grew hard, “Look Alina this offer is good for a couple months now but I’m telling you now that if you don’t take this job you won’t get another opportunity again. I know for a fact because I turned down the same offer from another band a long time ago and now I’m stuck here. You need to take this or I might have to take more drastic measures to get you to see how much you need to take this. I can’t train you anymore and I can’t pay you anymore, because the guy’s above me say so. You need the money and you need this job. Take it or I’ll have to get drastic. They REALLY want you and I don’t need my ass on the line if you turn it down.”

My mind was spinning and I felt like I was going to go insane. It was all too much right now. I stood up and looked down at Roger.

“I…I have to think about it”

I rushed out of his office then and to the bathroom where I proceeded to splash cold water on my face and take deep breaths.

I couldn’t believe it…were the guys trying to get me fired by pushing this so much. Were they trying to ruin my life just so I would move out to Brian?

I took a deep breath before going back to my office and just leaving for the day. I went home and found Brian there with Brianna and Jimmy. I told Jimmy I needed to talk to Brian in private so Jimmy took Brianna out for ice cream. Once we were alone Brian looked at me.

“Alina what’s wrong?”

“You ass”

Brian looked taken aback. He even held up his hands in defeat.

“Woah wait what?”

“You guys are all asses”

“What the fuck?”

I threw my hands into the air, “Are they THAT desperate to have us be together that they’re pressuring my BOSS to make sure I take the job! My boss is being pressured into pressuring me to take this job!”

Confusion crossed Brian’s features, “What?”

“Your managers called my boss and told him about what you all offered me and my boss went off on how if I don’t take it I’ll be stuck where I am and he said if I didn’t he may have to take drastic measure, because they were pressuring him to get me. They want me so damn bad that they were almost threatening Roger’s job and reputation!”

“What!?”

“I don’t like being pressured into anything Syn!”

“Alina I had nothing to do with his! I didn’t know they called your boss! I didn’t know someone told them too! The guys told me about all of this! I told them to let you decide and not get your boss or work or anything involved! It wasn’t me Alina I swear!”

I took a deep breath to try to calm my nerves before I spoke, “I don’t like this anymore than you Brian but my life is here. I’ve known this life for years now and Brianna has friends here and my job I love is here. I love being in New York and I don’t know how I would feel about California. I don’t know what to do but this isn’t helping shit!”

“Alina I didn’t do any of this! I promise you! And I know it’s hard but I offered to move here to be with you and our daughter! I’ll do anything Alina! Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it!”

I sighed and collapsed onto my bed, “I don’t know what you can do. But back the fuck off on this offer. The more I get pressured the more I’ll hate and resent it if I take it. So back the fuck off and let me do this on my own. Get them all off my fucking back and let me figure out what the fuck I’m going to do!”

Brian nodded his head yes before sitting down next to me, “I can’t stay here forever right now though”

“I know”

“I have to go home to my dog and band soon”

“I know”

“I…I have the money for Brianna’s classes and uniforms and such”

“Thank you”

“I’d like to see her for Thanksgiving at the latest”

“You can come see her anytime and we’ll come out for Thanksgiving or Christmas. I just have to figure out which would work best. I’m going to miss you but I…I don’t know what to do right now. Everything is just so much right now”

“I know”

Brian put his arm around me and held me close to him.

“You’re staying here aren’t you?”

“For now”

“You’re going to turn the offer down?”

“I don’t know”

“Please…tell me what I can do…”

“I can’t tell you when I don’t even know. I’m sorry Brian. I wish this was easier but…I just don’t know”

Brian sighed before he pulled back from me. I looked at him and almost started to cry when I saw the tears in his eyes.

“I just got you back…”

“I know…”

“Can…can I have one last time with you…until I see you again…”

I smiled and kissed Brian for my answer. I knew Jimmy would keep Brianna away until we said it was safe. I know they all meant well but I just couldn’t pick up everything and move there. I just…needed to figure out what was best for everyone before I made any decisions. I needed to look at everything before I said what I was doing. I couldn’t’ just make a decision like that anymore. I had to think and consider Brianna before myself.

I think Brian knew since Paris that I wouldn’t be going to California with him. I think he knew that I would be staying, for how long neither one of us knew. But he had obligations back in California. He had a new record to work on and a life there. We had to work out how to fit into each other’s lives before making any huge decisions. I think he’s known this all along.

I think everyone has…